Author Topic: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes  (Read 250957 times)

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #900 on: September 08, 2021, 09:25:46 PM »
Too funny.  Like a light in the darkness, that one.  He’s a real ham.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #901 on: October 07, 2021, 06:56:58 PM »
For the nerds among us:

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

techwiz

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #902 on: October 08, 2021, 07:03:08 AM »


How does a Turkey drink wine?
Spoiler: show
In a gobble-let


What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
Spoiler: show
It got the stuffing knocked out of it.


What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?
Spoiler: show
Dessert, of course!



GuitarStv

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #903 on: October 08, 2021, 07:33:45 AM »
My wife was asking if I knew what the etymology of the word politics was, so I thought quickly and said:


It's a two part word . . . 'poli' is from the Greek word poly meaning many, and 'tics' from the small bloodsucking parasites that attach themselves to things and suck away until they've had their fill.


:D

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #904 on: October 11, 2021, 08:13:18 PM »
For the nerds among us:

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
Don’t you see the sign? No foot, no flute, no serif!

dougules

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #905 on: October 12, 2021, 01:12:35 PM »
Two cows standing in a field. One cow asks the other "So are you worried about mad cow disease?"
The other cow says "Not at all; I'm a helicopter!"

I know this one is from a long time ago, but I just noticed it.  I can't figure it out at all.  @Frankies Girl or anybody else, can you spell it out for me?

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #906 on: October 12, 2021, 01:15:54 PM »
Two cows standing in a field. One cow asks the other "So are you worried about mad cow disease?"
The other cow says "Not at all; I'm a helicopter!"

I know this one is from a long time ago, but I just noticed it.  I can't figure it out at all.  @Frankies Girl or anybody else, can you spell it out for me?

The second cow is crazy and thinks he is a helicopter.  e.g. he already has MCD.

dougules

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #907 on: October 12, 2021, 02:18:28 PM »
Two cows standing in a field. One cow asks the other "So are you worried about mad cow disease?"
The other cow says "Not at all; I'm a helicopter!"

I know this one is from a long time ago, but I just noticed it.  I can't figure it out at all.  @Frankies Girl or anybody else, can you spell it out for me?

The second cow is crazy and thinks he is a helicopter.  e.g. he already has MCD.

Wow I feel dense. 

Radagast

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #908 on: October 12, 2021, 02:51:10 PM »
For the nerds among us:

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
That bartender sounds like a total typist.

SunnyDays

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #909 on: October 12, 2021, 03:40:57 PM »
From a local billboard:

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime I want.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #910 on: October 12, 2021, 03:54:15 PM »
For the nerds among us:

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
That bartender sounds like a total typist.
You, sir, deserve a medal for that one.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #911 on: October 31, 2021, 11:04:17 PM »
Here's a spooky Halloween joke for you all...

Two Mafia hitmen were walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, "Man, it's creepy walking out here at night like this. Who knows what could be out there in the dark!"

The other says, "Huh, you think YOU'RE scared? I'm the one who has to walk home alone!"

PhilB

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #912 on: November 29, 2021, 04:50:54 AM »
How do you tell the age of a Christmas tree?

Spoiler: show
Count the rings of gaffer tape on the box!

Phenix

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #913 on: November 29, 2021, 06:42:19 AM »
How do you tell the age of a Christmas tree?

Spoiler: show
Count the rings of gaffer tape on the box!


Confession, we actually did that this year.

techwiz

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #914 on: March 16, 2022, 01:24:41 PM »


Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Spoiler: show
 ‘Cause real rocks are too heavy!


What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Spoiler: show
Paddy O’Furniture.


What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is your favourite singer?
Spoiler: show
You too?


What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
Spoiler: show
“Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”


How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
Spoiler: show
He’s Dublin over with laughter!


What happens if you fall in the Irish Sea on St. Patrick’s Day?
Spoiler: show
You get wet!


Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Spoiler: show
You might press your luck!


What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
Spoiler: show
Game clover!


Travis

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #915 on: March 20, 2022, 07:25:44 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPUTvi4YIY&ab_channel=ElonMuskViralVideos


Feel free to watch the video if you want, but you have to read the comments.

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #916 on: March 20, 2022, 12:53:42 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPUTvi4YIY&ab_channel=ElonMuskViralVideos


Feel free to watch the video if you want, but you have to read the comments.

[applause]

techwiz

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #917 on: May 13, 2022, 08:21:23 AM »


'Paraskevidekatriaphobia' is the term used to define the fear of this day.

What happens when Jason Voorhees tells a joke?
Spoiler: show
 It kills

Tigerpine

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #918 on: May 13, 2022, 08:27:45 AM »


'Paraskevidekatriaphobia' is the term used to define the fear of this day.

What happens when Jason Voorhees tells a joke?
Spoiler: show
 It kills


I love it

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #919 on: May 13, 2022, 10:53:15 AM »


'Paraskevidekatriaphobia' is the term used to define the fear of this day.

What happens when Jason Voorhees tells a joke?
Spoiler: show
 It kills


I love it
This one cut a little close to home.

Phenix

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #920 on: May 13, 2022, 11:37:09 AM »


'Paraskevidekatriaphobia' is the term used to define the fear of this day.

What happens when Jason Voorhees tells a joke?
Spoiler: show
 It kills


I love it
This one cut a little close to home.

The guy is somewhat of a cut-up\.