Thanksgiving Day JokesA lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No. They’re dead.”
Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Student: I’m thankful I’m not a turkey.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who’s never hungry on Thanksgiving?
The turkey. He’s always stuffed.
What kind of key has two legs and can’t open doors?
.
Sheila: I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.
Tom: What are you serving instead?
Sheila: Squash.
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”
Why was the monster tickled when he ate the turkey?
He forgot to pluck the feathers.
What do you get if you cross a turkey with an evil spirit?
What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Why should you never talk like a turkey?
Because it’s bad to use fowl language.
What should does a space turkey make?
“Hubble, hubble, hubble.”
What is a pilgrim’s favorite kind of music?
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Take him out for pizza and ice cream.