Checking in as a former school psychologist who evaluated students for ASD and current central office administrator for special education.
It boils my blood when schools misinform, mislead, or outright lie to parents of students with disabilities and act like federal law doesn't apply to them. Others are probably right that the easiest way to get your child appropriate services is to move, but as long as you are at your current school, I would start to get firm and legal in your response to them.
1. Make sure you have a copy of your state's operating guidelines for special education. I beleive I saw previously you are in Ohio, so here is a copy:
http://education.ohio.gov/getattachment/Topics/Special-Education/Federal-and-State-Requirements/Operational-Standards-and-Guidance/2014-Ohio-Operating-Standards-for-the-Education-of-Children-with-Disabilities.pdf.aspx2. Also make sure you get a copy of and some information about the federal law for special education, The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Here is a start:
http://idea.ed.gov/explore/homeUse the sidebar to review major topics.
3. You need to submit all of your requests to the district in writing with time stamps. Get copies of everything you give them a copy of and make them mark when they received it. If they fail to follow through (like ignoring your request for an evaluation), file a compliant with your state education agency or your Office of Civil Rights (an OCR compliant). This will get the attention of the bigwigs in district admin and they are all terrified of legal action, so you should see some movement.
4. Fight like hell for your child if the school is being lazy about following the IEP. If he has accommodations that they are not following, demand some system of accountability for the teachers. If you disagree with the IEP, say so in the IEP meeting. Do not feel obligated to agree with them and move to mediation if you need to resolve the ARD with a third party present.
5. Beware of special education advocates. In my state, there are absolutely no requirements, certifications, or regulations on who can call themselves an advocate. Any nincumpoop that can print business cards and make a website can become a special education advocate. Some are good, and some are just swindlers looking to make some money off you while they know crap all about the law. If you decide to get an advocate, be sure to interview/vet them thoroughly and as always make sure you know the law well enough to call out the snake oil salesmen (honestly, there are a lot of parallels with financial advisors).
6. I know I already said it, but it bears repeating: BE SURE TO PUT ALL REQUESTS TO THE SCHOOL IN WRITING AND GET A TIMESTAMPED COPY OF WHEN THEY RECEIVED IT.
I know this sounds super pushy, but the school has shown that the already and not interested in doing what your child legally is required to get to be successful, so it is time to be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.
I would be happy to answer any questions via PM that you might have (as best I can, I am only an expert in my state and state law can vary a fair bit. also IANAL) so feel free. I am happy to help you try and whip this school into shape for students with disabilities :)
P.S. I am not a fan of starting off your interactions with schools this way, but once they show you that they will ignore the law, it is time to bring down the hammer.
edited: typo