Author Topic: Wife Christmas presents...  (Read 2927 times)

35andFI

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #50 on: December 19, 2018, 09:12:33 AM »
But asking for toilet paper is not exactly a gift. Why not ask for a bottle of wine or something else that you would like to consume, but has a little hint or luxury to it.

I don't like wine.  I've managed to move away from most consumables in life with a little hint of luxury.  I could ask for the more expensive 2-ply toilet paper I suppose . . .

That made me LOL. I am of the same thinking.
My sister asked what I wanted for Christmas and got mad when I sent her the amazon link for a $5 book.
She would rather spend more on something that I don't want than less for something that I do.

golden1

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #51 on: December 19, 2018, 09:14:51 AM »
This is what we do every year.  This year I got a dishwasher.

I don’t want to get crap just to get crap. 

Chris22

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #52 on: December 19, 2018, 09:28:45 AM »
Why spend $15 on a bottle of wine they don't want rather than $15 on the Costco pack of toilet paper that would make them really happy?

Is anyone actually happy to receive toilet paper, or is it more like "I realize you feel like you are obligated to buy me a gift, I don't want a gift, so instead I will ask you to buy me something I know I need so you can feel like you are buying me a gift"?  Has anyone happily opened a package containing TP, or is more of a feeling like "okay, this is one less thing I have to buy this quarter"?

Most people want to buy a gift to make someone happy.  They don't believe that receiving toilet paper makes anyone actually happy.  I don't think they are wrong.

There's a middle ground between "don't laving bullshit I don't want on me" and "give me the most basic commodity so that I can survive".  There has to be SOMETHING people take pleasure in, a book, a kind of good food that they wouldn't otherwise buy (exotic nuts or cookies or something, I dunno), something.  Nobody who isn't in abject poverty actually wants to receive TP as a gift unless they have some sort of inability to relate and interact with other human beings, or they're intentionally being obtuse to make a point (but I repeat myself...)

Dabnasty

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #53 on: December 19, 2018, 09:30:03 AM »
Another thought- is there something around the house she has been complaining about or wanting to replace? Do it as a gift.
Like replace the kitchen faucet with a nice touchless one; install a ceiling fan in the bedroom, change out the sliding door with a french door, paint the bathroom.

Bonus points if you can do it while she's asleep on Christmas eve and stick a bow on it. Ceiling fan in the bedroom might be tricky...

I'm a red panda

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #54 on: December 19, 2018, 09:41:31 AM »
Why spend $15 on a bottle of wine they don't want rather than $15 on the Costco pack of toilet paper that would make them really happy?

Is anyone actually happy to receive toilet paper, or is it more like "I realize you feel like you are obligated to buy me a gift, I don't want a gift, so instead I will ask you to buy me something I know I need so you can feel like you are buying me a gift"?  Has anyone happily opened a package containing TP, or is more of a feeling like "okay, this is one less thing I have to buy this quarter"?

Most people want to buy a gift to make someone happy.  They don't believe that receiving toilet paper makes anyone actually happy.  I don't think they are wrong.

There's a middle ground between "don't laving bullshit I don't want on me" and "give me the most basic commodity so that I can survive".  There has to be SOMETHING people take pleasure in, a book, a kind of good food that they wouldn't otherwise buy (exotic nuts or cookies or something, I dunno), something.  Nobody who isn't in abject poverty actually wants to receive TP as a gift unless they have some sort of inability to relate and interact with other human beings, or they're intentionally being obtuse to make a point (but I repeat myself...)

I've never asked for toilet paper, as if you've read my gift rant thread, you know there is no way my parents would agree with that.  But really, from anyone but my husband- that sounds like an awesome gift.  (But anything from my husband is weird, as we share money. He's guessing what I want and spending my money to get it. What's the point of that? Let me just buy what I want.)
I have asked for nice bath towels.  I was told they are too utilitarian and not a gift.
 
You know what a gift of nice bath towels would tell me?   "I care enough about you as a person to understand your value system, and that you would rather me give you a gift of something useful than something that I spent money on when you don't need or want it."

If I asked for toilet paper, I think it would do the same thing.
"I understand you don't want to fill your house up with stuff for the sake of stuff, so I care about you enough to get you something useful that you need and want, so that you don't have to get it for yourself."

Please don't give me food for Christmas. I don't want food. I have food every day.  Food is a "I couldn't think of anything to buy you, so here's a box of Harry and David Pears where 4 pears cost the same as your weekly grocery bill" gift.   Other people might like expensive nuts, chocolate, or fruit.  But if the gift is about the recipient and not the giver, knowing what they value is part of it. (Even if it's not my money it causes me SO MUCH STRESS when I see my mother waste money on stuff I don't want or need because she just wants to buy me something, and won't buy what is on my wishlist.)  But when I run out of toilet paper...man, I wish someone had gotten that for me.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2018, 09:43:46 AM by I'm a red panda »

use2betrix

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #55 on: December 19, 2018, 11:25:43 AM »
I bought my wife a nice leather tote made in the US, and she also got some nice makeup (she wears makeup maybe once a week so it lasts forever).

I am getting a pair of red wing boots and darn tough socks, all made in the US and items that should last forever. Boots can be re-soles and socks have lifetime warranty.

None were cheap but all items that we wanted and picked out. None are “needs” but I work and make plenty to spend on gifts for Christmas on what accounts to about a half day of work.

partgypsy

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #56 on: December 19, 2018, 11:30:47 AM »
See, I like giving gifts.  I actually love shopping for linens and so I would be happy getting someone towels that were both nice looking, felt good, and a reasonable cost. I don't feel the same about toliet paper (I don't want to imagine you enjoying the toliet paper). 

All the same, at various baby showers I have given packages of disposable diapers and I thought it was a good gift and the recipient seemed happy. I guess I felt it was a good gift not because it was utilitarian as much as it was reducing workload of a new Mom.

partgypsy

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #57 on: December 19, 2018, 11:32:16 AM »
I bought my wife a nice leather tote made in the US, and she also got some nice makeup (she wears makeup maybe once a week so it lasts forever).

I am getting a pair of red wing boots and darn tough socks, all made in the US and items that should last forever. Boots can be re-soles and socks have lifetime warranty.

None were cheap but all items that we wanted and picked out. None are “needs” but I work and make plenty to spend on gifts for Christmas on what accounts to about a half day of work.

Redwing boots are a very nice gift. OP, do you need a pair of boots? They are both expensive but depending on your climate necessary. Maybe that's what you can ask for.

Zola.

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #58 on: December 19, 2018, 01:32:55 PM »
Got some really nice cotton PJs.... haha, I think I am mostly set now.

Dabnasty

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #59 on: December 19, 2018, 01:43:27 PM »
Lol, thanks for the closure

use2betrix

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #60 on: December 19, 2018, 06:51:48 PM »
I bought my wife a nice leather tote made in the US, and she also got some nice makeup (she wears makeup maybe once a week so it lasts forever).

I am getting a pair of red wing boots and darn tough socks, all made in the US and items that should last forever. Boots can be re-soles and socks have lifetime warranty.

None were cheap but all items that we wanted and picked out. None are “needs” but I work and make plenty to spend on gifts for Christmas on what accounts to about a half day of work.

Redwing boots are a very nice gift. OP, do you need a pair of boots? They are both expensive but depending on your climate necessary. Maybe that's what you can ask for.

Only select of their regular line are made in the US. All of their heritage line is. Their heritage line are leaps and bounds nicer, but also more expensive. They have the sole that is able to be replaced, I don’t think the non-US ones do.

Euphorbia

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Re: Wife Christmas presents...
« Reply #61 on: December 20, 2018, 06:48:07 AM »
It would be sweet if you made a nice photo album for her with pictures of the family and new baby.