This isn't on the internet, but my own life. I became "friendly" again with the woman who had an affair with my husband over the last 6 months our kids are best friends so this started up with both arranging times for kids to hang out, and shuttling to school events. Ex for many reasons, including that his current girlfriend does not like it, no longer communicates with her or acknowledges her.
After a clearing of the air between us, was doing my best to be an adult, not have the kids friendship be affected. Only last night, with a series of texts, that she a) trying maintain contact with my ex, through me, or our kids. Also she may be slightly stalkerish. To give context, this woman was incredibly cruel to me during the affair, ran me down to my ex and also to some extent to mutual friends (called me crazy among other things), said derogatory things about my kids. Since we cleared air, she came to a talk I gave even though that wasn't her interest, has stopped by unannounced such as to give me a book and relationship advice such as cheating may be something people just do. Now compliments me outrageously for example the other day said she loves my last name so much, that other than her own name, would use it as a last name (I kept my maiden name).
"Perhaps not but now lots of smoking" (referring to his habits)"Well, it's not like his presence would greatly benefit my kids' lives. It just ended up worse than I ever imagined. He wouldn't even say hi to the kids&me when we went to (the place he works). He's a 50 year old man! Very enmeshed with the gf- works, lives & spends all his free time with her. His current life strikes me as sad&un-balanced but perhaps just another sign of how very different we are."
"He doesn't seem happy or healthy to me. I think he puts a lot of energy into avoidance on a lot of fronts, most of them emotional. And I think (girlfriend) helps with that because she wants to be with him all the time. Good distraction. Wish he'd throw himself into helping his damaged little girl (my daughter) more than his damaged coworker gf. To me, he seems to still be in totally stereotypical male middle-life crisis mode. Even (friend) says he 'wants the old (ex husband) back but once you've gone that far douchebag, you usually don't come back'. But whatever, it's even far les my circus than yours. I need to remember that. My kids and I don't even warrant a passing pleasantry in the bar."
OK. So ending up worse than she ever imagined was NOT breaking up two marriages with children involved. That he doesn't say hi to her anymore.