I think I hate my cat

[RetiredAt63]

Five pawed cat? Picture!

Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

[dandarc]

Actually he (or she) is what she is, but I might recommend using a fingernail clipper to cut the sharp edges off the claws. One of mine wouldn't sit still for that so I stuffed it head first into a spare pair of lycra cycling shorts until his head popped out the other end. Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

More benefits of cycling - when a towel just won't keep your cat still enough.

[thd7t]

Five pawed cat? Picture!

Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

Just Google polydactyl cat! It's not quite what you are thinking, but it is neat!

[Rollin]

Five pawed cat? Picture!

Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

Depending on the cat's 'tude it can seem like 20!

(sorry for the bad math, or maybe I was thinking of the tail as the 5th appendage :)

[Rollin]

Actually he (or she) is what she is, but I might recommend using a fingernail clipper to cut the sharp edges off the claws. One of mine wouldn't sit still for that so I stuffed it head first into a spare pair of lycra cycling shorts until his head popped out the other end. Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

More benefits of cycling - when a towel just won't keep your cat still enough.

Somehow they figured out the towel trick and either escaped, or I ended up bleeding!

[RetiredAt63]

Aah, it was the other 4 claws,not the other 4 paws.  I had a cat once who had 6 toes per foot, lots of claws to trim.  ;-)

Five pawed cat? Picture!

Then I would remove one paw and clip. Start over for the other four.

Just Google polydactyl cat! It's not quite what you are thinking, but it is neat!

[BudgetSlasher]

You say you have had cats before, but have you had kittens/"teenage" cats before?

Many of the things you post sounds like the cat is bored. Walks around screaming, takes swats at you when you walk by (the claws probably have something to do with being young), tryings to play with you on the sofa (again a little rougher then an older cat), and messes with your things to get your attention (work gloves and painting).

You sound shocked that a cat does not want to be held . . . some do, some don't, and some only on their own terms.

Stealing the kid's toys could be because the cat is bored (see above) or it just doesn't know the difference.

You make 2 issues out of 1 . . . scratching. Cats will scratch the window screens and the sofa are the same problem. I wish I could offer some help with teaching the cat what it an claw, but I cannot remember how we did (our last batch of cats were born in '96 and only one remains).