Author Topic: I'm not a grinch I swear  (Read 2034 times)

undercover

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I'm not a grinch I swear
« on: December 17, 2018, 04:36:02 PM »
But I just don't enjoy Christmas that much. I mean sure the lights or nice and the cold weather and the family and the general "feeling", but other than that I just don't care.

I do have great memories as a child so it's of course somewhat nostalgic, but I just don't ever feel the spirit anymore.

It's just another time of the year...it comes and goes...it's just not that important to me.

But I'm not angry at others enjoying it or having fun, I just genuinely don't feel anything from it. Anyone else feel like this?

wordnerd

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2018, 04:44:36 PM »
My husband is like this about all holidays. I think for him he's just not someone who gets value/enjoyment out of rituals or emotional events. If he learns something cool, he's gets really excited, but that's not something you can manufacture on a specific date. Nothing wrong with it.

Just Joe

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2018, 08:54:43 PM »
I think we're over the shopping - DW and I. I want to spend time with the extended family, have some laughs, nice meals together, and maybe games.

We buy the things we need or want (within reason) all year 'round...

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2018, 08:56:01 AM »
For us, holidays are about spending time with the family & getting a break from work. We do buy a few gifts, but it's not a big production, well within our budget, and just not much of a factor in our overall celebration. We have a lot of really fun family traditions that I adore, and I have a family (parents, sister, aunts, etc) that I legitimately enjoy spending time with

JanetJackson

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2018, 11:01:03 AM »
I am 1000% this.
I just don't' feel it.
I grew up with holidays, but just never deleveloped an interest in them at all as an adult.

I've never had a Christmas tree, I never buy anyone gifts, I don't receive any gifts, I work on the 25th every year because I can nearly double my hourly rate, and I feel real nothin' about all of it.
Comes and goes.

I do like the start of a new year, and I do like the tacky light Christmas 5ks, but I also think we're wasting a bunch of electricity and it's a little silly. 

::::Shrug::::


You are certainly not alone.

omachi

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2018, 11:12:50 AM »
I used to love Christmas, but the most enjoyment I get out of it now is watching the nieces and nephews loving Christmas. It's a great excuse to gather as a family and spend time together, but we do that from time to time anyway, without a holiday to lend it structure. I guess it's nice to have all the lights and decoration with all the overcast skies and super-short days. This time of year would be a bit more bleak without it all.

50/50 on all the cookies. They're great, but not great for me.

OtherJen

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2018, 11:30:53 AM »
I'm not really feeling it this year, honestly.

There are seriously difficult and weird family dynamics with my in-laws this year that are going to make this weekend very uncomfortable, and husband and I are working crazy hours right now to justify 3 days off next week (I'm a freelancer and he's a retail manager). We're looking forward to hosting a quiet dinner with my parents on Christmas Eve and then spending Christmas day at home. I hope it doesn't rain on Tuesday so we can take an evening walk to look at the lights.

I loved Christmas as a kid. I have a huge extended family, so my childhood Christmases were the stuff of legend. My mom's parents and dad's oldest brothers went crazy with huge, fun house parties with food and decorations and lots of people. Christmas 1983 stands out as particularly magical; it was the last one before my grandpa got sick. My dad's brother died about 10 years ago; his kids threw one last Christmas party that year in his honor, and so many relatives showed up that we were spilling out of the house into the garage. Everything now seems so small and quiet and a bit sad in comparison.

FIRE@50

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2018, 11:57:19 AM »
I'm in the 'I don't care about the holidays' camp. I love to see relatives but I can do that anytime of year. Traveling around ANY holiday is a nightmare. I do like the holidays as an excuse to eat a bunch of more expensive than usual food and drink a bunch of more expensive than usual alcohol, but again, I can do that anytime of year.

Chris22

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2018, 12:00:55 PM »
It's more trouble than its worth for me.  I'm in finance, so it's a very busy time of the year for me, made all the more difficult scheduling a zillion other events around the work.  And then my mom is a huge Christmas lover and insists we travel there at Christmas and it would break her heart if we didn't, so we do, bringing two small children with us, which just adds to the fun.

I much prefer the 4th of July, which is a "grab a case of beer and throw some burgers on the grill and watch some fireworks" holiday instead of all the hubub and goings on at Christmas.

FIRE Artist

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2018, 01:59:25 PM »
I have long since acknowledged that I have zero interest in this, and most holidays.  I much prefer to use the extra time off to devote to personal projects and nurture my introvert self than to spend time  on meaningless-to-me rituals. 

The thing that annoys me the most about this season is other people's need to project their holiday needs onto me.  Since I am a single, childfree middle aged woman, I am used to being on the receiving end of other people's projected needs for things like relationship and children so I guess this is just another one on that huge pile. 

Usually I accept an invitation at Christmas just so I can tell people that I have something to do on the holiday to stave off the looks of concern, and unwanted invitations.  I suspect that the woman in my group of childfree friends hosts her x mas gathering just for this purpose as well.  Me, I would just as soon wait and meet up at a restaurant on Boxing day, let someone else do the food prep and clean up, but that is just me. 


Just Joe

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2018, 02:04:59 PM »
We don't mind buying gifts for family and/or friends. Its still more fun to us to give than receive. Everything in moderation.

And the deals - they surely exist but we're not solely shopping for deals. We're looking for specific items with a fair price vs quality balance. Online shopping wins on pricing more often for us.

The holidays seems to aggravate certain extended family dynamics. Relationships that are neglected 11 months out of the year are suddenly very, very important at Christmas for appearances sake. Someone in our extended family likes to tell the world about an revisionist, idealized version of the family. In reality we're a very ordinary group who don't chill out together easily.

I'd rather visit someone casually a little all year long than travel long distance during hectic holidays so certain people can "repair relationships" only to dent and scratch them up again the following year. Let's gather some easier weekends during the year and chill. Not worry about the logistics of the big long distance holiday event.

There are a couple of people who seek our (DW and I) opinions only so they can tear them down and if we choose to keep our opinions to ourself then we're being unpleasant. These people are manageable apart but a mess when they can play off of each other at family events.

Note that DW and I hold moderate positions on just about every topic and we're live/let live type people. We can get along with everyone except a few of our relatives.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2018, 02:15:47 PM by Just Joe »

oldladystache

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2018, 06:39:38 PM »
I don't "do" holidays. I make a small exception for Christmas. I have a string of lights that I put up after Thanksgiving and take down after the New Year.

My family has shrunk down to me and my brother and a few cousins that we don't particularly care about.It's a relief to no longer get and receive gifts. I already have too much stuff.

When friends ask me about my holiday plans and I tell them nothing they usually ask me to join them in their family celebrations. No thanks.

John Galt incarnate!

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2018, 07:06:34 PM »
But I just don't enjoy Christmas that much. I mean sure the lights or nice and the cold weather and the family and the general "feeling", but other than that I just don't care.

I do have great memories as a child so it's of course somewhat nostalgic, but I just don't ever feel the spirit anymore.

It's just another time of the year...it comes and goes...it's just not that important to me.

But I'm not angry at others enjoying it or having fun, I just genuinely don't feel anything from it. Anyone else feel like this?

Though I do not miss them I fondly recall  the  halcyon, Christmassy days of my childhood.

Now that I'm an adult I just don't care about Christmas.

And for the record, I'm not a grinch either.


2Birds1Stone

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2018, 07:11:22 PM »
I'm sooooooo over Christmas, and wish people would quit bothering me on my Bday.

I actually disabled posts on my FB wall specifically because I hated getting "happy birthday" posts from people who I interacted (if you could call it that) with once a year.

John Galt incarnate!

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2018, 07:22:57 PM »


I much prefer the 4th of July, which is a "grab a case of beer and throw some burgers on the grill and watch some fireworks" holiday instead of all the hubub and goings on at Christmas.

My best friend was born on the 4th of July.

He told me he's glad that there's so much partying on his birthday.

soccerluvof4

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2018, 04:30:17 PM »
I think if people would chill a bit I would like /appreciate it more. People just are so fake or get over the top about it and it gets stretched longer and longer and so much of it is one person trying to out due the next. I never liked it as a kid growing up because my parents seemed to fight about the stress of spending money etc.. and i wanted to change that with my family and we have a lot BUT its still to much about Gifts etc,,, in my opinion. Plus i dont like all the traditions that are being taken out of it. Call me weird but I like the music for a week or two, the trees and lights and the gatherings but I just want it to be more simple

Just Joe

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2018, 04:18:34 PM »
Yep, wrap everything in the Christmas brand and then pump it for all the profits for as long as possible. (for better or worse)

Johnez

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #17 on: December 25, 2018, 02:36:18 PM »
Christmas time is particularly hard on my SO as it makes painfully obvious how jacked certain family is. The mad dash of gift giving that's so dang fake is also tiring. This year I can't afford much but neglected to tell my family in time and of course we have mountain of gifts waiting. Stressful.

My boss and I feel pretty similar. This year I had to use some 3 year  old Macy's cards to shop for gifts and we laughed at the absurdity. We came to the conclusion that if everyone just got gift cards nobody uses and gifted them out it'd be perfect. Regifting in sync lol.

Kids are too young to enjoy it now, but I can't wait till they're old enough to. I loved Christmas as a kid, just wish we had the big ol gatherings of the past. Seems that never happens anymore. :-/
« Last Edit: December 25, 2018, 02:42:45 PM by Johnez »

Just Joe

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #18 on: December 27, 2018, 09:42:04 PM »
The big gatherings yes. The food yes. The gifts optional.

SpeedReader

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2018, 09:44:06 PM »
I'm in the same boat!  I loved Christmas and other holidays as a kid, but I find I'm not particularly excited about any of them now.  Maybe it's because much of my extended family is gone, or because we don't have any young children in the family anymore. 

waltworks

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2018, 09:48:44 PM »
We just don't celebrate it, give gifts, do the Santa thing for our 4/6 year olds, etc. People ask if we celebrate Christmas, then ask if we're Jewish and it's always awkward when we say no to both.

But whatever. I don't need to "celebrate" anything by buying stuff FFS.

-W

iris lily

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2019, 12:25:14 PM »
Thank god it is over. It goes on for weeks and weeks,where no one can make any plans, phone calls and email are not returned, businesses have wonky hours, all regular things come to a standstill.

Really, if I were running the show we would have 3 days of it and then, DONE!

Please make me Christmas Czar.


RetiredAt63

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2019, 02:12:39 PM »
Thank god it is over. It goes on for weeks and weeks,where no one can make any plans, phone calls and email are not returned, businesses have wonky hours, all regular things come to a standstill.

Really, if I were running the show we would have 3 days of it and then, DONE!

Please make me Christmas Czar.

You are Christmas Czar.  I will volunteer to be your assistant.

Jouer

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2019, 12:23:39 PM »
I love Christmas! But....I do not travel home for the holidays (I live half-way across the country). Traveling during Xmas is just not fun and the weather in my home province during winter is...ahem...pretty shitty. Flight delays and all that. So I visit during the summer.


RetiredAt63

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2019, 04:15:04 PM »
I love Christmas! But....I do not travel home for the holidays (I live half-way across the country). Traveling during Xmas is just not fun and the weather in my home province during winter is...ahem...pretty shitty. Flight delays and all that. So I visit during the summer.

Mon pays c'est l'hiver?

Snow, rain, freezing rain, travel is sooo fun.   ;-)

iris lily

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #25 on: January 11, 2019, 12:20:20 PM »
And then, there is the respiratory illnesses generated from hot crowded family gatherings that go on for another few weeks and keep people  from doing the work they committed to do.

This year, unusual for me, I succumbed to one of these illnesses brought on by staying in a 100 degree farmhouse with numerous little germ ridden rugrats. I drug myself to the meeting I needed to attend, sitting far in the corner to avoid spreading germs, but a third of the committee were gone due to Holiday Hell illnesses.

FrugalToque

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #26 on: January 11, 2019, 12:26:52 PM »
It helps to just keep the parts of Christmas you like.

So, church: out.
Long drives to relatives who like to fight over who is going to who's house: out.
Stringing up lights in the middle of winter: out.
Schnitzel, Kartoffeln, Apfeltarte and chicken soup: in.
Having friends over to eat said food: in.
Shot of Crown with said friends: in.
Lego sets, tools, candy and alcohol under tree: in.
Snow forts: in.
Chilling out: in.

Once we established that we were going to do the things we enjoy at Christmas, it became almost as awesome as I recall my childhood.

Toque.
(ETA: Boxing day sales: obviously out.)
« Last Edit: January 11, 2019, 12:29:53 PM by FrugalToque »

iris lily

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #27 on: January 11, 2019, 12:37:58 PM »
It helps to just keep the parts of Christmas you like.

So, church: out.
Long drives to relatives who like to fight over who is going to who's house: out.
Stringing up lights in the middle of winter: out.
Schnitzel, Kartoffeln, Apfeltarte and chicken soup: in.
Having friends over to eat said food: in.
Shot of Crown with said friends: in.
Lego sets, tools, candy and alcohol under tree: in.
Snow forts: in.
Chilling out: in.

Once we established that we were going to do the things we enjoy at Christmas, it became almost as awesome as I recall my childhood.

Toque.
(ETA: Boxing day sales: obviously out.)

Oh dude, I already do that. I like an experience with lights, and an experience with historic houses, and I like to decorate my house in no more than 3 hours always with something new. So this latter usually means fresh greenery and bits of berries, ribbon, paper. It all takes less than an hour to chuck when it is all over.

So that is what we do, it is one or two days to complete.

Somewhere in the many weeks between Thanksgiving and January 2, DH sometimes felt compelled to make the 8 hour trek to visit his parents in the 100 degree farmhouse with no wifi, dodging icy roads to get there. That was fine with me, I didnt participate.

« Last Edit: January 11, 2019, 04:23:13 PM by iris lily »

RetiredAt63

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #28 on: January 11, 2019, 03:45:18 PM »

Stringing up lights in the middle of winter: out.


Stringing up lights on a nice day in late October/early November, plugging them in mid-December (on a timer), unplugging them mid-January (because the days are getting longer), taking them down on a nice day in April: IN

OtherJen

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2019, 06:37:45 PM »
Unexpectedly, this Christmas ended up being pretty great. We had a wonderful dinner party at my parents-in-laws’ house on the 23rd, where I got to spend lots of time with my niece and nephew and had the fun of watching them get super excited about everything. We hosted my parents for dinner on Christmas Eve, and husband and I had a quiet Christmas Day at home that involved tamales for breakfast, an afternoon nap, and a viewing of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I resisted all friends’ attempts to get me to bulk up their church choirs on Christmas Eve (I’m an atheist who loves Christmas carols but there are limits), avoided most shopping, and only baked the goodies that I liked most (fruitcake, Italian 7-layer bars, Mexican wedding cookies). I listened to the live broadcast of Lessons and Carols from King’s College on Christmas Eve morning. We didn’t send out cards or hang up outdoor lights. I wish all Christmases could be like this one.

FrugalToque

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2019, 06:58:24 PM »

Stringing up lights in the middle of winter: out.


Stringing up lights on a nice day in late October/early November, plugging them in mid-December (on a timer), unplugging them mid-January (because the days are getting longer), taking them down on a nice day in April: IN

Waaaay too much foresight required.  I put all my energy into planning how I'm going to hide the kids' presents.

iris lily

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2019, 12:27:06 PM »
I should report that, ironically, this Xmas grinch sent out about 400 cards. Yeah, but it is a volunteer job.

I wrote a note, stuffed, addressed with labels, and stamped 350+ cards for a dog rescue group. I always start this job in early November so they are ready to go out for end of year gift appeals by December 1st.

And then I dropped off cards to residents on the two blocks I cover as block captain. I included a note about current happenings on our blocks.

But all of that is busness, not personal. Imdont send out personal cards.

« Last Edit: January 15, 2019, 08:26:12 AM by iris lily »

JanetJackson

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #32 on: January 14, 2019, 01:47:49 PM »
I should report that, ironically, this Xmas grinch sent out about 400 cards. Yeah, but it is a volunteer job.

I wrote a note, stuff, addresses with labels, and stamped 350+ cards dor a dog rescue group. I always start this job in early November so they are ready to go out for end of year gift appeals by December 1st.

And then I dropped off cards to residents on the two blocks I cover as block captain. I included a notemabout current happenings on our blocks.

Hey,
This is random, and I'm an admitted grinch.  BUT... I love getting the holiday card from the rescue that I donate to every year. 

Really, it makes my day. 

It's the only card I get for the holidays and I put it on my fridge for a good two weeks every year and it reminds me to donate on the day I take it down and recycle it.

THANKS!

iris lily

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Re: I'm not a grinch I swear
« Reply #33 on: January 15, 2019, 08:28:20 AM »
I should report that, ironically, this Xmas grinch sent out about 400 cards. Yeah, but it is a volunteer job.

I wrote a note, stuff, addresses with labels, and stamped 350+ cards dor a dog rescue group. I always start this job in early November so they are ready to go out for end of year gift appeals by December 1st.

And then I dropped off cards to residents on the two blocks I cover as block captain. I included a notemabout current happenings on our blocks.

Hey,
This is random, and I'm an admitted grinch.  BUT... I love getting the holiday card from the rescue that I donate to every year. 

Really, it makes my day. 

It's the only card I get for the holidays and I put it on my fridge for a good two weeks every year and it reminds me to donate on the day I take it down and recycle it.

THANKS!


Oh cool! Each year we have a new card and it is akways a fun image. We also sendbout a little gift such as key card or billfold card about pets at home for emergency contact.