I'm glad that helped. But don't forget: "You are grieving, one of the stages of grief is Bargaining." So be kind to yourself and know that processing this loss is going to take time.
Totally proposed FWB yesterday during a phone conversation. She actually seemed interested. #bargaining
The thing that blows my mind is that this person has a masters in marriage and family therapy... how do you do this kind of stuff, then not apply it in your own life?? rant over.
Because it's hard?
Look, for me it was long ago (college). Boyfriend, together for a long time. Man, it was great. Nice guy, fun times, good in bed, we really connected. Got to know each others families, and I was CRAZY about him. We knew each other beforehand and we built a life together.
But it wasn't working out. It was pretty simple, in our case. He was graduating (I was a year behind). Going into the Navy. And wanted me to follow him. (I was also going into the Navy, so that meant "choose GURL so I could be placed near him, instead of choosing my own path".) That just wasn't going to happen. The cracks started when he wanted me to compromise to "spend more time with him". Aside from 21 credits a semester and a part time job, I got about 4 hours of sleep a night because I was studying. I read "compromise" as "spend less time studying and more time with MEEEE".
He wanted the kind of wife that I couldn't be. A follower.
We broke up. I was finally the one to say "this isn't going to work". But for the next year, we talked on the phone. At least weekly. We were friends! We meant so much to each other! It was comfortable! He came back to visit. Now, all this time, he'd been thinking he'd give it another try. (We'd kind of left that "out there".) But I had moved on. Partially. Started dating anyway. When he came back, he expected us to pick right back up. Um, no. (If he had warned me of this, it may have come out very differently, and thank goodness it did not!!) We still continued to talk on the phone weekly until I graduated, then it tapered off. By the time I graduated he'd met his future wife and six months later I met my husband. But we each had to be willing to LET IT GO.
But it's HARD when emotions are involved. How do you know it's the right thing? What if you don't find someone who is a better fit? (I don't personally believe in "the one".)
I know many many men who got "bored" with girlfriends, broke up, and married the next one. My next door neighbor and his girlfriend were together for 7 years, got married, and she left him 3 months later. Some people get bored. Some people "settle". It's complicated.
You just have to let it go.