I don't have the internal monologue/running dialogue/whatever you want to call it.
The thing that meditation is supposed to help quiet? I didn't get that, because most of the time my mind is quiet, naturally, unless I'm purposefully thinking something.
Not to sound rude, but how do you think? Do you have to write things down when weighing two decisions?
No, I can purposefully create lines of thoughts. It just doesn't "wander."
I describe it like a train track.
I set my thoughts on a track, and it goes until it hits the conclusion. I might, along the way, see a side track split off, and switch to that, run to the end of that, then go back to the main track until that end. But it's purposeful.
And at the end, my mind is blank, unless I purposefully set it thinking about another thing.
I don't typically have random thoughts out of the blue, unless they're triggered by something. Often I set myself triggers to have thoughts occur. But from what I understand from discussions from my wife, she might see a cat and think "oh, there's a cat.. i had a cat when i was a kid.. i also had a horse*.. wow, it's been a long time since I rode a horse..or a motorcycle.. i like riding motorcycles.. i wonder where my motorcycle helmet is, is it in the back of the closet? man we need to clean out the closet" and then she'd say out loud to me something about needing to clean out the closet, and I ask what made her think of that.. and sometimes she can trace it back to seeing the cat, other times she has no idea. But it's like a running dialogue like that?
*This is a made-up example.. she didn't have a horse, just trying to illustrate a point.
That's as best as I understand.
I would never get there that way. I'd see a cat, and go "a cat" and then my mind goes back to blank. Perhaps if I set a trigger in my mind around the cat, I might go "a cat. oh, i need to feed it" and my mind would go back to blank, and I'd go feed it.
So I think thoughts, but it's mostly extemporaneously, and then it stops.
I can recall things, and put them together on the fly, but it's not a running dialogue. It's a set of thoughts that then stops.
Also when it is thoughts, it's not a "voice". It's more like a list of facts. Which is also how I "see" things, since I don't visualize them.
I also don't sub-vocalize when I read, for example. I realize others don't do this, but they train it out of themselves? I've never done it. The words just are in my head, but not auditorily. They're just.. there. I don't know how to describe it.
But I have no "voice" in my head. The fact that you do is really, really weird to me. MUCH weirder than the visualizing thing. :)