I think asking what feminism means to a group of women is probably similar to asking a group of self-described Christians what being christian means. There will be a common middle ground group, and probably extreme groups on either end. In the middle we have women agreeing that it means equality, famous quotes such as, "feminism is the radical idea that women are people". These feminists (in my opinion AS a feminist) tend to focus on rights, wages, education issues, safety/violence issues. There may be a small number on the extreme end who hate men and believe women to be superior, just like there are extreme Christians who think all gay people are going to hell,etc. And there's probably another extreme spectrum of women who think that feminism is completely moot. It's a social and political issue so of course different people experience it differently- but there are factual representations of the inequality between women and men, rates of rape and sexual assault for instance, or wage differences. Curricula in schools (e.g. how many female authors are taught, etc.), and international issues. For me feminism is not just about my own day to day life, it's about the fact that women in Saudi Arabia aren't allowed to drive, or leave the house, or that acid burnings and mercy killings still happen, or that in many African cultures if a man rapes a woman it's because she "seduced" him, even if the she in question is hardly a woman herself.
So even if you don't want to get into the male gaze (which, for the record, yes, is real), and marketing, and all the myriad social inequalities and ways women are perceived versus men- these other things are certainties. They are facts, and that's why I think feminism has a place still. Or to sum it up even better: when the day comes that I can ask a male friend if a neighborhood is safe at night, and take HIS word for it, we will have made serious progress.
Also, someone in this forum joked about the term "rape eyes", nice. That's really hilarious to the one in four women who have been sexually assaulted. And that, my friends, is the male gaze.