Hey Surfhb,
I had a dear friend contract the herp - she was devastated, but did the right thing and was very open with people she was dating. Two guys bailed on her because of it, but the second one came back because he just cared about her / enjoyed her company too much to let it get in the way. They seem to be doing really well over a year in.
Do some research - in the 70s, it wasn't considered a big deal at all. It is a manageable virus and should not get in the way of loving someone.
Best of luck!
Edit - haha, sorry I am so bad at reading all the way through sometime. I just had an anecdote so I wanted to share.
I think it can take a long time to show up. Being stressed out about it will definitely cause it to show up sooner. I think you have to get a blood test after a certain time lapse to be definite on the diagnosis. Use the optimism gun and don't fret too much, if you have it, stressing about it is not going to lengthen or improve your quality of life (and also it is as big or as little of a deal as you want to make out of it), and if you don't have it - all good!