I used to have an FI neighbor who had cards like these. He put "Esquire" after his name on the top line, though. Can't remember what he had on the second line, but it was witty. Now he lives in Panama (or at least that's where he was headed last time I heard . . . )
"Knight in rusty armour"
"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist"
"Earthling"
"Use caution when approaching"
"Enforcer"
"Bench warmer"
"Benevolent ruler"
"Occupant"
(Brainstorming for myself, since you are clearly the "Global Moderator")