The Money Mustache Community
Other => Off Topic => Topic started by: arebelspy on July 16, 2013, 02:10:19 PM
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Help me design a business card.
Here is the info so you can picture it:
White card, black text. 3 lines. First line is first and last name. Second line to be determined (below). Third line is email.
What I'm trying to decide is what to put on that middle line (which would typically be one's job title) and would love to hear your creative thoughts. Here are the constraints: 1-5 words.
My favorite so far:
[arebelspy].
Free Agent.
[email or phone].
My second favorite is "Human."
Some others that have been tossed around: Philosopher, sage, guru. (Pick one, not all three).
My wife said (for her):
[First/Last Name]
Adventurer, Reader, Ukulele Master
(the last one is wishful thinking.)
"Learner" is a decent one. Thinker? Mustachian? Porn Star? Calvin and Hobbes Enthusiast? Heck, just "Enthusiast." goatse model?
What are your creative ideas for that second line?
There is no point or purpose to it beyond entertainment, so don't worry about that.
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Definitely:
Renaissance Man
Or to a lesser degree (less cool) : Polymath.
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Secret Agent Man.
Student of Life.
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Oooh, like your wife, I also aspire to be Ukulele Master.
I like Free Agent a lot assuming your wife doesn't read anything into it with regard to your marriage. Context: once I had a guy gave me his card. He was asking me out on a date. His card described him as, "Gentleman at Large." Reading into what that might mean, I said no.
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I like Free Agent a lot assuming your wife doesn't read anything into it with regard to your marriage. Context: once I had a guy gave me his card. He was asking me out on a date. His card described him as, "Gentleman at Large." Reading into what that might mean, I said no.
Hah. No, nothing like that. The wife liked it too.
I mean this type of agent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agency_(philosophy)). And the free has several meanings, of course.
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Porn Star
Surely there were other options when you didn't get that summer school position! ;)
Business Card Designer
Treehugger
Millionaire Playboy
Mild-Mannered Alter Ego
Professional Food Taster
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Mild-Mannered Alter Ego
Wow, that's a strong contender. Well played.
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Trophy Husband.
70% water.
Future ex-athlete.
Closet Superhero.
Lethal Landlord.
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Mostly Harmless
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Mostly Harmless
You guys are clever.
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Combine some - Mustachian Porn Star
Or some originals -
Amateur Philosopher
Star Stuff
Professional Bag of Meat
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I like "Amateur." Or, for that matter, "Professional."
"Still Learning."
"Metaphorically Speaking." or, alternatively, "Literally."
"Self Actualized."
"Does Things."
"Definitely Not A Robot."
I may have to choose like a dozen of these, get a small run of each done, then just mix them up and hand them out randomized when business cards are required. There may be too mant good ones to choose. Hmm.
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Cunning Linguist
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Stunt Penis.
Bone. And the writing is Cillian Braille.
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I knew a retired guy with cards like you're describing. His "title" was Bon Vivant.
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I knew a retired guy with cards like you're describing. His "title" was Bon Vivant.
I like that (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bon+vivant), except I don't like food THAT much, and I want people to understand it right away, rather than having to google it (and having to explain it means it's automatically too pretentious... Try to explain what a Bon vivant is without sounding pretentious.)
"Aristocrat."
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Truth Teller
(this business card thing is a really good idea btw)
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I like truth teller.
"Egyptologist."
"Already Dead."
"Grown Up."
"Sensitive To Criticism."
"Carrier."
"All Full."
"Some awe."
"Biclops."
"All seeing." (or All Knowing or Omniscient.)
I'm aware these are getting progressively worse.
Sometimes that's needed in brainstorming before a breakthrough.
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Clairvoyant
"Why do you have clairvoyant on your business card?"
"I knew you were going to ask me that."
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ooo, lets see:
seeking an epiphany
not lost
somewhat blunt
likes shiny things
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likes shiny things
I like that slightly tweaked into "Distracted By Shiny Things." and I like "Somewhat Blunt" quite a bit.
"Contents May Be Flammable."
"Heart Breaker."
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Works When Wet
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Works When Wet
Or Slippery When Wet.
...yeah, maybe not so much.
"Sexual Deviant."
"Simpleton."
"Idiot Savant."
"Bourgeois."
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Waiting for Godot
Definitely Not a Zombie
Alien Abduction Bait
That Guy
Decidedly Ducky (although British interpretation may view this one oddly)
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Hand wash only; line dry
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"Hairless Ape"
"Strange Loop"
"Future Fossil"
"World's Tallest Hobbit"
"Warranty void if seal is broken"
"Actual size!"
"Organic von Neumann Machine"
... yeah, I'm not that witty. I love the idea, though. Very tempted to steal it.
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How about this one?
"Buisness card proof-reader."
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How about this one?
"Buisness card proof-reader."
Granting you the assumption that the typo is intentional, I love it.
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Oooh these are good!
Apart from "goatse model", ffs man!
"Philosopher" (Thoreau - we used to have philosophers, now we just have doctors of philosophy)
"Rebel Spy"
"Carbon Monoxide Producer"
"Smarter than the Average Bear"
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(BTW, these, and the above, read best if you say your First and Last name before each entry.)
Not Yet A Zombie.
High Midichlorian Count.
Sentient.
Pancake Eater.
Pi Lover.
Irrationally Real.
Professionally Trained.
Attempting The Impossible.
Living For The Moment.
C'est la vie.
Computer in Tennis Shoes.
Independently Wealthy.
Excessively Pretentious.
Good words to use as the first word, and fill in the blank on the second: Excessively, independently, often, rarely, never.
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If found, please return to his owner.
Star-crossed Voyager.
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Dilettante
This Field Intentionally Left Blank
Recovering Workaholic
Meme Vector
Then there's the obvious one we missed...
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Hand wash only; line dry
One of my [thrift store] shirts made in England says on the tag, "Iron whilst damp."
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Gentleman (in Bum's Clothing)
Best Served Cold
Upside-down Cake (printed upside down?)
Stirred, Not Shaken
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Do Not Eat
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Curiously Strong.
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The beginning of the Colbert Report always has good variations of these
my favorites were purple-mounted, star spangled, and self evident (which is what I would use for mine)
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Captain of Awesomeness
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Self evident is a great one!
Do Not Resuscitate.
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Do Not Resuscitate.
Ha, I was thinking of similar darker things this morning. I like it
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Has Too Much Time.
;-)
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Never duplicated
Turing test capable
Normalermensch
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Take On Me.
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Take On Me.
Song lyrics are a good idea.
If I was a girl, I'd totally go for "Just A Smalltown Girl."
("Just a city boy" doesn't instantly conjure up the same thing.)
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Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined.
Why not Zoidberg?
Two for the price of one.
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Two for the price of one.
Or "Buy One, Get One Free."
Up For Adoption.
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Take On Me.
Song lyrics are a good idea.
If I was a girl, I'd totally go for "Just A Smalltown Girl."
("Just a city boy" doesn't instantly conjure up the same thing.)
Just a Gigolo
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Welcome to the Jungle
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Card Carrying Member
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Card Carrying Member
Ooooh! That's a good one!
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Wallet Inspector
Boobie Inspector
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"Amateur Golfer"
"I read books and stuff"
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Global Moderator
Senior Mustachian
YMMV
Drinks Well With Others
BS detector
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Mensa Applicant
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"Relativist"
"Have a Nice Day"
"___________" (fill in the blank)
"Not a Member"
"Dortmunder"
"Master of the Universe"
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Glutton Of Minimalism.
Or, simply, Minimalist.
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YMMV
Cha-ching! Added to the list. Only I'm going to spell it out: "Your Mileage May Vary."
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You really said goatse... sigh.
Eternal Student
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Illuminati
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Bhaalspawn
Worm Food
Starman
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This weekend, I used Enthusiastic Participant. I thought it was neat.
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"Apply Within"
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Eats, Shits, and Sleeps
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I would tweak it to "Busness card Poof reader."
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I understand this was done more for amusement, but if you were going to do this I would recommend that you get the business card blanks at a local office supply story so that you can print at home vs. going to a printer.
That way:
You can save money, Very Mustachian, by printing small quantities.
You can create custom cards, where each one has a different middle line. People will be begging for your cards to see what kind of witty wisdom you are advertising for the day. You will have the fortune cookie of business cards. Of course they will be financially independent cards vs. business cards as you will not conducting business or you will be deemed to be not retired, but that is another topic.
I am still digging the Senior Mustachian or Global Moderator titles, but that could be envy as I am a lowly Handlebar.
Tom
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Pretender to the Throne.
Abbot of Unreason.
(Both ideas stolen from Know-It-All.)
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I know a guy with "genius".
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‘Clairvoyant’ and ‘Card Carrying Member’ are both inspired.
I like ‘Renaissance Man’ and ‘Sage’, but if you are modest you might prefer ‘Apprentice Renaissance Man’ or ‘Apprentice Sage’. I suspect that many Mustachians would like to see themselves as one of these.
Samuel Johnson, in eighteenth century London, wrote a series of essays collectively known as The Idler. I may have read a few at school, and my hazy memory is that an Idler is an intelligent and educated man who has enough money that he does not need to work, but, either because of inadequate wealth, or by inclination, is not at the social level of a Gentleman. I am surprised to discover that there is a British periodical called the Idler, published since 1993. I not have yet found out much about it, but it seems that the ideas behind it are partly Mustachian.
I therefore recommend the term ‘Idler’.
Or for something completely different, ‘Galactic Hitchhiker’.
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Found a new one the other day that I can use:
Autotonsorialist
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Found a new one the other day that I can use:
Autotonsorialist
Nice!
Though I'd prefer the first definition over the second (http://www.encyclo.co.uk/define/autotonsorialist) (the "or").
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Cog Number One
Some Trees were harmed to create this Card
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... self evident ...
Or,
philosophically self evident
which has a nice ring to it (and was used frequently in the book I just lisened to: The Sense of an Ending (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10746542-the-sense-of-an-ending)).
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I knew a retired guy with cards like you're describing. His "title" was Bon Vivant.
I like that (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bon+vivant), except I don't like food THAT much, and I want people to understand it right away, rather than having to google it (and having to explain it means it's automatically too pretentious... Try to explain what a Bon vivant is without sounding pretentious.)
"Aristocrat."
Epicurean is out for the same reasons.
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How can you not use Global Moderator ?
That is what you are.
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Kriegsspiel beat me to it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ux3vncNNLg
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Goes to 11.
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Insert fancy title here
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Insert fancy title here
I think if I did that, I'd either put it in parentheses or italics.
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Traveler of both Time and Space
Towering inferno of physical perfection
Bending Unit 23
Though I do enjoy
"Definitely Not A Robot."
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Multinational Man of Mystery
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
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Sentient life form
Humanoid
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http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2643
not how the comic meant it, but I like
arebelspy:
a one-act play
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humble as fuck
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/shrug
And this one made me LOL:
Cunning Linguist
Actually, they're all great. I might have to use one under my email replies. Definitely not the "Cunning Linguist", though. At least not until I catch FIRE :)
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http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2643
I was coming here to post the same comic!
[arebelspy]
I like dinosaurs!
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"Unrestricted Free Agent"
"Player to be named Later"
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This gets my vote
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Winter is coming.
Work is a four letter word.
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Censor!
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I love biclops.
Time traveler.
Purple monkey dishwasher.
Baller.
"Ask me about my unicorn"
Great idea, I might have to steal it. Whatever you decide, PLEASE put it as your occupation on your tax return. I've always wanted to/can't wait to do this.
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Whatever you decide, PLEASE put it as your occupation on your tax return. I've always wanted to/can't wait to do this.
Well now I just want to put "Baller" as my occupation on my tax return.
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Not Suitable For Children 3 And Younger
Shake Well Before Using
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You're not just going to use rebel spy as your title?
Disappointing...many Bothans died to bring you this information.
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Depending on your sense of humor:
Friendly
Not Friendly
Suave as F***
Bulletproof (Results Vary)
Employable Once...Once
Cult Leader
Cult Follower
Something Original
The Spruce Moose
Khaaaaaaan!
Professional Slacker
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Employable Once...Once
I love this
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You had me at hello.
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Favorite: custom-made flash drive business card - http://www.seeedstudio.com/recipe/img/recipe/FNYY46TGQ5PYP4K.MEDIUM.jpg; don't confuse this with the mass-market usb drive business cards you can buy. One is off the shelf, the other custom made.
Close second: doesn't have to be a built, functional design; it can just look good - http://hackedgadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/damage-designs-circuit-board-business-card_2.jpg
If circuit boards aren't your thing, how about laser-cut aluminum or stainless steel business cards? http://studiokandm.com/guestblog/images/creativebusiness-12.jpg
I suppose a downside to these might be that you're no longer getting a hundred printed for $3, and maybe you'll have to start caring about to whom you give your cards. I suppose another downside would be that in many industries, and many geographical areas, you might look like a fool giving one of these out. So it goes. Maybe this won't do for a lawyer. It'll do just fine for a professional geek, though.
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TBD
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There is literally no other thread on this forum that has ever made me so excited for early retirement. I want to eat Ramen every day just so I can use one or more of these ideas one or more year(s) earlier.
My current real b-card says "Nice to meet you" in that spot.
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I would want, "Knows Stuff About Stuff"
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2643
I was coming here to post the same comic!
[arebelspy]
I like dinosaurs!
So, fun fact: my friend who introduced me to MMM, his cousin writes dinosaur comics! Cooooool :)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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There is literally no other thread on this forum that has ever made me so excited for early retirement. I want to eat Ramen every day just so I can use one or more of these ideas one or more year(s) earlier.
My current real b-card says "Nice to meet you" in that spot.
Hah, awesome - to both paragraphs!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2643
I was coming here to post the same comic!
[arebelspy]
I like dinosaurs!
So, fun fact: my friend who introduced me to MMM, his cousin writes dinosaur comics! Cooooool :)
Nice! That's one of my favorite comics nowadays.
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http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2643
I was coming here to post the same comic!
[arebelspy]
I like dinosaurs!
So, fun fact: my friend who introduced me to MMM, his cousin writes dinosaur comics! Cooooool :)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I LOVE Dinosaur Comics!!!
I'm also prepared to eat ramen and live in a box, so I list my occupation as baller on my tax return. Would the IRS question my baller status due to my cardboard residence?
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Participant
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I used to have an FI neighbor who had cards like these. He put "Esquire" after his name on the top line, though. Can't remember what he had on the second line, but it was witty. Now he lives in Panama (or at least that's where he was headed last time I heard . . . )
"Knight in rusty armour"
"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist"
"Earthling"
"Use caution when approaching"
"Enforcer"
"Bench warmer"
"Benevolent ruler"
"Occupant"
(Brainstorming for myself, since you are clearly the "Global Moderator")
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"I've got your nose"
then get their nose
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I knew a guy once who had cards that said, "Freelance Gynecologist". Dirty old man obviously.
My card would say, Easily Amused. (True)
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El Conquistador!
Referring to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHyJNm-aGN0
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Obviously my first choice would be a picture of a daisy. ;-)
But other options:
Free At Last (can add Thank God Almighty if I am in the mood)
Out on Bail
None of your Business
Escaped from Alcatraz
Did My Time
(it sure does sound like I am equating working to being in a jail, doesn't it)
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Polyglot
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Jack's Wasted Life
Jack's Smirking Revenge
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Time Lord
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"I've got your nose"
then get their nose
That actually made me laugh out loud
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"I've got your nose"
then get their nose
That actually made me laugh out loud
RyanAtTanagra, just have to ask if you are Star Trek: TNG fan?
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Potent, virile and vigorous
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Financial rebel
Free 'stache lessons
Freebird
Banksy wannabe
Stachetastic!
Top ramen
Please recycle
Tandem unicycle rider
Speak no evil
Realty reality
Supernumary nipple
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Baron Von Stachausen
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First round draft pick
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RyanAtTanagra, just have to ask if you are Star Trek: TNG fan?
I am :-)
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Certifiable
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Very cool and capitalist.
(Stolen from here: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/why-don't-more-people-seek-earlier-retirement/msg604661/#msg604661)
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What is your target audience? You don't want "independently wealthy" on a card is you get kidnapped. In fact I can't see wanting this on a card you are going to give anyone you have just met (pretentious, encouraging the wrong people, discouraging the frugal).
And how do you really want to come across?
Babysitter
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What is your target audience?
Someone with a sense of humor.
And how do you really want to come across?
That is not a question I care about. You might as well have asked me what color do I want the next Humvee I purchase to be. ;)
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What is your target audience?
Someone with a sense of humor.
And how do you really want to come across?
That is not a question I care about. You might as well have asked me what color do I want the next Humvee I purchase to be. ;)
Well hold on, your business card is precisely about first impressions, it's absolutely how do you want to 'come across'! If nothing else you clearly want to make some kind of statement; you are not saying "I don't care what others think of me" when saying "what should I put on something to give to other people on first meeting them?"
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What is your target audience?
Someone with a sense of humor.
And how do you really want to come across?
That is not a question I care about. You might as well have asked me what color do I want the next Humvee I purchase to be. ;)
Well hold on, your business card is precisely about first impressions, it's absolutely how do you want to 'come across'! If nothing else you clearly want to make some kind of statement; you are not saying "I don't care what others think of me" when saying "what should I put on something to give to other people on first meeting them?"
Just because I give a first impression doesn't mean I care what they think of it.
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Just because I give a first impression doesn't mean I care what they think of it.
But the fact you want to give a first impression means you probably care what kind it is, even if you don't care what they think ;-)
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Gosh MMM Forum does teach you some things - I now know what a Humvee is - Do people actually buy them?
Obviously a completely blank business card would really suit your purpose
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Obviously a completely blank business card would really suit your purpose
Hahahaha. And they're very economical taboot!
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How about this one?
"Buisness card proof-reader."
This made me laugh out loud and that almost never really happens.
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[arebelspy]
"Adventure Captitalist"
"FIRE'd"
"intentional lowercase CAPITALIST"
"are-bell-spy"
"These aren't the droids you're looking for..."
"Chief Freedom Enthusiast"
"Soldier of Luxury"
(I'm sure there are others. This is fun!)
[contact info]
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I have seen and got a laugh at "Alchemist"
other thoughts
Spy
An Adept Man (wiki from literature)
I really like Adventure Capitalist.
put a line so you can scribble on whatever is appropriate at the time?
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(http://s18.postimg.org/qrvv9b1mh/arebelspy.jpg)
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(http://s1.postimg.org/9efy3zegf/arebelspy2.jpg)
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And one with a logo...
(http://s24.postimg.org/ah9mn6dxh/arebelspy3.jpg)
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Expert
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Player to be named later - that would work for someone who was thinking about picking up occasional contract work.
Left of the dial - but that would probably be misconstrued as political.
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Nice photoshopping, PEIslander. Though I'd personally get rid of the side tagline, no logo, and make the fonts much more plain.
Something like this, from Oceans 11:
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lcets5CJHp1qacxa7.jpg)
How badass is a card with just your name? :D
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(http://i.imgur.com/1aa6RhT.gif)
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The droid they were looking for.
Definitely not a spy.
Super genius. <--- I might have to use this, obviously.;)
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(http://s23.postimg.org/b1ykry41n/arebelspy4.jpg)
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Nice. :D
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DH works in Military Food Service...
his card says "Death from Within!"
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Nice thread!
I've occasionally noted the absence of buisness[sic] cards in my life since FIRE and have pondered the same question, though my limited mental faculties have produced nothing half as clever. I've read through all the awesome suggestions and am leaning toward
Professionally Trained Retiree
- or -
Professionally Trained, Retired
I think I'll let the final decision ride for a couple of days, because 1). I can and 2). There could still be a better one out there.
Gawd, being retired is great. Deadlines? We don't need no stinking deadlines!
Thanks for the laughs, ARS.
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(http://s17.postimg.org/y66mmfnrz/retired_card.jpg)
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(http://s17.postimg.org/3mby56333/Oops.jpg)
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Aspiring [insert current interest here]
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Nice photoshopping, PEIslander. Though I'd personally get rid of the side tagline, no logo, and make the fonts much more plain.
Something like this, from Oceans 11:
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lcets5CJHp1qacxa7.jpg)
How badass is a card with just your name? :D
That is not a business card but a calling card.
http://www.bartleby.com/95/10.html (http://www.bartleby.com/95/10.html)
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That is not a business card but a calling card.
Duh. You're totally right. I just saw the movie 14 years ago, before I knew what a calling card was, and then after I learned never connected it.
Thanks!
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That is not a business card but a calling card.
Duh. You're totally right. I just saw the movie 14 years ago, before I knew what a calling card was, and then after I learned never connected it.
Thanks!
I'd say that FIRE means you can ditch business cards for calling cards if you want to. :-)
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Great thread. I've got a few science-y ones.
Fighting entropy since [1985] (or whatever your year of birth is)
2 standard deviations above the mean
Calories in, calories out
Somewhere in the middle of the food chain
Efficiency connoisseur
Product of billions of years of evolution
Homo sapien
Creator of entropy
Keystone species
CO2 source
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Great thread. I've got a few science-y ones.
Fighting entropy since [1985] (or whatever your year of birth is)
2 standard deviations above the mean
Calories in, calories out
Somewhere in the middle of the food chain
Efficiency connoisseur
Product of billions of years of evolution
Homo sapien
Creator of entropy
Keystone species
CO2 source
Those are terrific!
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Great thread. I've got a few science-y ones.
Fighting entropy since [1985] (or whatever your year of birth is)
2 standard deviations above the mean
Calories in, calories out
Somewhere in the middle of the food chain
Efficiency connoisseur
Product of billions of years of evolution
Homo sapien
Creator of entropy
Keystone species
CO2 source
Those are terrific!
Thanks. Unfortunately I would probably never give these cards out even though some of the ideas on here are brilliant.
Another one:
Took the red pill
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Space Cowboy
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Citizen of the world.
Particularly useful if you intend to do international slow travel during retirement.
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Sultan of Swing
or
Renegade of Funk
depending on your style
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Rebs, I've got a great one for you (inspired by the relatively recent duplicate avatars thread):
"brooklynguy"
Which is only fitting, given that mine's going to be:
"arebelspy"
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Badass
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Traveler
Imagine
Cereal Eater
Day Tripper
Figment of Your Imagination
Gotta say my favorite so far's been "Drinks well with others."
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Rebs, I've got a great one for you (inspired by the relatively recent duplicate avatars thread):
"brooklynguy"
Which is only fitting, given that mine's going to be:
"arebelspy"
Or you could each mash it up:
Brooklynspy
Arebelguy
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Illuminati
Illuminatus ;)
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Time Enthusiast.
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For the currently employed:
Cubicle Occupant
Animated Cadaver
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Sicilian, and death is on the line.
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Sicilian, and death is on the line.
Well then I don't trust you.
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Citizen of the world.
Particularly useful if you intend to do international slow travel during retirement.
I'm stealing this one at some point
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Sicilian, and death is on the line.
Well then I don't trust you.
Never get into a land war in Asia
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Sicilian, and death is on the line.
Well then I don't trust you.
Never get into a land war in Asia
This is my favorite movie!
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continental drifter
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Thanks for bumping this...I was trying to search for this thread. Looking for "Alchemist"
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Thanks for bumping this...I was trying to search for this thread.
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/9743562/icon_lol.gif)
It makes me laugh that someone would be looking for this silly thread.
Here's some ideas off the top of my head (haven't reread this thread in a long time, but did a quick thread search, only had one duplicate I removed, and two similar ones separated below):
International Man of Mystery
Connoisseur
Fast and Furious
Minion
Explorer
Salt to Taste
Whimsical
Do Not Ingest
Lost: One Business Card. Reward if Found.
Also these were similar to others previously posted, but slightly different so I separated them out down here:
Dry Clean Only
If Found, Please Call ____ (put phone number)
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This thread reminds me of a mitch hedberg joke:
I got a business card, cause I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: "Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner."
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I think I've decided on "Aspiring Renaissance Man" - unfortunately, I'll have to wait until retirement before they'll be useful ;)
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I think I've decided on "Aspiring Renaissance Man" - unfortunately, I'll have to wait until retirement before they'll be useful ;)
Yours should be "Cloud Capturer" or something like that.
Oh wait, that might be an actual legitimate business card. ;)
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My wife just came up with one:
May contain nuts.
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My wife just came up with one:
May contain nuts.
For the men: Almond Joy
For the ladies: Mounds
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Yours should be "Cloud Capturer" or something like that.
Oh wait, that might be an actual legitimate business card. ;)
I might need a few different ones.. I've also considered "Oat Baron"
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Not the droid you are looking for.
Trapped in Card printing factory.
Man of the hour
CAPSLOCK ENTHUSIAST
Breaker of Chains
Albino in Disguise
Fabulous!
Hello, is it me you are looking for?
Slapping you in 3, 2, 1, ....
Staring at you reading this
Look at me (then say "Now at the Card" when they do look at you)
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Serves two
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I've enjoyed reading this thread, but in a more serious vein I actually find it useful to have "Personal Cards" (vs Business Cards -- as I still have a real business). My personal cards have my non-work email, phone number, and street address. I find these useful at meetups, group bike rides, etc. When I want to engage with someone I've met for future activities, it's an easy way to break the ice without imposing any commitments on either side by handing them a personal card with my contact info.
It also helps someone remember your name and where they met you. If they're interested in getting in touch again, they'll have a handy physical reference. I don't print a title as I'm trying to avoid any snark or innuendo.
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"As You Wish"
"Fornicate Under Consent of the King"
"Store High In Transit"
"It's a Trap"
"Funny Feeling Feeler"
"people person"
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Venture communist.
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Venture communist.
I haven't heard that phrase before, I like it.
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Do Not Rehire
Unemployed
Adult Man
I think my vote is for Free Agent though
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Ha!
Great ideas in here.
I've always wanted to use Adventurer or Explorer. But now I'm thinking the word Freedom needs to be in there somewhere too.
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Distributor
(of business cards)
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A variation on one already posted, but humorous to me (found on a string of Christmas lights):
For indoor or outdoor use only
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My father used this after he retired and sold his business,
"Service you won't believe!"
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I know this is old, but I'm 'stuck' in a conference call waiting for the key person...
I submit for your perusal;
metasightseeker
Empirical Philosopher
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I've enjoyed reading this thread, but in a more serious vein I actually find it useful to have "Personal Cards" (vs Business Cards -- as I still have a real business). My personal cards have my non-work email, phone number, and street address. I find these useful at meetups, group bike rides, etc. When I want to engage with someone I've met for future activities, it's an easy way to break the ice without imposing any commitments on either side by handing them a personal card with my contact info.
It also helps someone remember your name and where they met you. If they're interested in getting in touch again, they'll have a handy physical reference. I don't print a title as I'm trying to avoid any snark or innuendo.
I like the idea, but I'll be cold in the ground before I hand out to semi-strangers my address.
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Stand-Up Philosopher
(Thanks, Mel Brooks!)
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I've always liked "Independently Filthy".
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"Bad Grandma"
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a merry madman
Mysterious Stranger
Anomaly Review Board
cloying sycophant
embittered introvert
deeply obscure scribbler
stilted puppet
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Oh joy, this thread got the Frankenstein treatment!
Baby Daddy
(Volunteer) FIRE Chief
Nomad
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Oh joy, this thread got the Frankenstein treatment!
Baby Daddy
FIRE Chief
Nomad
:D
Good ones.
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Owned by a dog.
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Just received a personal card from someone, it had name, email, and cell phone, and that's it, but it seemed to me it would be great to have another line:
We were discussing [blank to fill in]
I just scribble something on the back of my cards, e.g. "Carpool to NE Georgia in September."
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Just don't advertise that you're a combination analyst / therapist...
Oh no i'm not a therapist, that says the rapist. *starts unbuttoning shirt*
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Free Beer Tomorrow
Space Cowboy (or, of course, Gangster of Love...)
The Reaper, but don't fear me
Light House Keeper (2 words on purpose there)
Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band
Lumberjack, and I'm OK
Morning DJ
Paperback Writer
Untouchable
Whistler
Champion of the World
My Life has Just Begun
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Benevolent Dictator for Life
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Polymath
Jack of Some Trades
Recidivist
Theorems
Inquiries Welcome
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Oxygen converter
The Spanish Inquisition
[redacted]
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The Spanish Inquisition
Or Spanish Inquisitor. Though that would work better if I were Spanish.
Also pbk's Inquiries Welcome made me think of a good one:
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
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What's a guy like me doing in a place like this?
Make it so.
Budding Sociopath
Wherever I go, there I am.
Do not feed after midnight.
Keymaster
Gatekeeper
American Idiot
Actor, Team America
Your ad here [insert phone number]
Reasonable rates
No reasonable offer refused.
Destroyer of worlds
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Kind of a necro, but a lot of good material was just not available when this thread was started.
The Top Was Indeed In
Willy-Nilly
Fake news!
Requires Two Factor Authentication
Personal Data
Financially Independent (with a picture of Jordan crying)
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This thread just popped up, resurrected. Great ideas for @arebelspy !
A designer friend created a unique format for his client who was working on a proposal and trying to get the attention of a large company's CEO. Friend arranged for a small block of dry ice to be delivered with his client's business card (printed on transparent acetate) to the CEO's office. When you opened the box there was the ice smoking around the card. A dramatic way to capture a few minutes of the CEO's time.
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[your name]
Don't call me. I'll call you.
[no phone number]
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This thread just popped up, resurrected. Great ideas for @arebelspy !
A designer friend created a unique format for his client who was working on a proposal and trying to get the attention of a large company's CEO. Friend arranged for a small block of dry ice to be delivered with his client's business card (printed on transparent acetate) to the CEO's office. When you opened the box there was the ice smoking around the card. A dramatic way to capture a few minutes of the CEO's time.
This would totally get the bomb squad alerted at my place of work...but then I work in the kind of place that has one of those so perhaps we are the un-trusting kind.
It is a clever idea...
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For me:
Plays with Flowers
Dog Mom
Dilettante
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How about a line that doesn't talk about yourself or who you are, but suggests something that your new acquaintance might want to join you in doing:
Let's throw a potluck!
Please invite me for a bike ride some time
Want to go swimming?
Just pick the thing that you most want to start doing with new people and write a call to action around it.
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How about a line that doesn't talk about yourself or who you are, but suggests something that your new acquaintance might want to join you in doing:
Let's throw a potluck!
Please invite me for a bike ride some time
Want to go swimming?
Just pick the thing that you most want to start doing with new people and write a call to action around it.
Love this! The possibilities are endless, especially if you consider the inverse:
Don't call me to go to the mall.
Don't call me to eat at a fancy restaurant.
Don't call me for advice on what new sports car to buy.
No, I will not help you install the giant TV you just financed.
No, I will not attend your pretentious destination wedding.
Fun!
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Reminds me of this. :-)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180515/ee10d7d0efa56821403a63cd55e8193a.jpg)
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The Spanish Inquisition
Or Spanish Inquisitor. Though that would work better if I were Spanish.
Also pbk's Inquiries Welcome made me think of a good one:
No shirt, no shoes..., no service.
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Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate
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DH and I are doing this, with a little inspiration from this thread!!!
His is going to be:
Gentleman Adventurer
He is currently working on definitions for both of the words, and he is moving his lifestyle to match (I get to help with suggestions). His goal is to not be a "lay-about" once we retire next year, as his personality can slide that way if left unprompted. This has been a fun process to watch.
Mine is going to be:
Troubadour!
I am working on learning my first instrument now. The plan is to travel (Adventure!) and play (traveling musician). We should make an interesting team.
DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
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Today I met someone who I knew to be a person of some influence. Her business card reads "Philanthropic Advisor". And she really is. The title made me think of this thread. Funny that it just popped up again the same day.
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DH and I are doing this, with a little inspiration from this thread!!!
His is going to be:
Gentleman Adventurer
He is currently working on definitions for both of the words, and he is moving his lifestyle to match (I get to help with suggestions). His goal is to not be a "lay-about" once we retire next year, as his personality can slide that way if left unprompted. This has been a fun process to watch.
Mine is going to be:
Troubadour!
I am working on learning my first instrument now. The plan is to travel (Adventure!) and play (traveling musician). We should make an interesting team.
DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
Yes! This makes me so happy! :D
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DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
Oh, I love this sentiment! Do you mind if I quote it on the best post I saw on the forum thread?
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DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
Oh, I love this sentiment! Do you mind if I quote it on the best post I saw on the forum thread?
I would be touched and honored!
LV
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DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
Oh, I love this sentiment! Do you mind if I quote it on the best post I saw on the forum thread?
I would be touched and honored!
LV
Done!
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/the-best-post-i-saw-today-on-the-mr-money-mustache-forums-was/msg2084676/#msg2084676 (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/the-best-post-i-saw-today-on-the-mr-money-mustache-forums-was/msg2084676/#msg2084676)
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This is the best thread on the entire site!
I generally go with "dawdling flâneur"
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I've actually had a couple of occasions recently when I would have loved to have had a card such as this to give to someone. Having a nice clean card handy when you'd like to give someone your contact information but not have it something as vulgar as a 'business' card would be nice.
I think I'll have some printed.
I, too , like the "flaneur" title. This thread has some wonderful ideas.
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404 Not Found
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Aspiring Retiree
Pilgrim
Pilgrim on this Journey of Life
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For me cause I'm a girl:
Lady of Leisure
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Professional Amateur or Amateur Professional
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Today I met someone who I knew to be a person of some influence. Her business card reads "Philanthropic Advisor". And she really is. The title made me think of this thread. Funny that it just popped up again the same day.
Love that one - I love grant writing, so that is something I aim to do after I'm FI.
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Two new additions to this old thread...
While I was in Texas in December I stopped at a historical market about an eccentric rancher who was memorialized in iron signage as a "Gentleman of Means", which I found amusing. His ranch was successful enough that he had disposable income to spend on establishing a public perception as a natty dresser and a facilitator of the local social scene. I don't remember his name, but I liked his title.
Then today I saw a business card that said "Freelance Profiteer" which I think is an apt description of many people here who hold a variety of part time gigs on a rotating or seasonal basis, especially if you are paid in cash. If you make a few bucks here and there when opportunity knocks, you can probably describe yourself as such.
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Dishwasher and microwave safe.
Environmentally friendly.
I admire a friend whose business card reads:
Troublemaker
(she is)
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I love how this thread still pops up and gets great new ideas. Well done, people.
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Two new additions to this old thread...
While I was in Texas in December I stopped at a historical market about an eccentric rancher who was memorialized in iron signage as a "Gentleman of Means", which I found amusing. His ranch was successful enough that he had disposable income to spend on establishing a public perception as a natty dresser and a facilitator of the local social scene. I don't remember his name, but I liked his title.
I really like shortening that to just "Of Means"
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Two new additions to this old thread...
While I was in Texas in December I stopped at a historical market about an eccentric rancher who was memorialized in iron signage as a "Gentleman of Means", which I found amusing. His ranch was successful enough that he had disposable income to spend on establishing a public perception as a natty dresser and a facilitator of the local social scene. I don't remember his name, but I liked his title.
I really like shortening that to just "Of Means"
No one would buy the "Gentleman" part anyways.
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Then today I saw a business card that said "Freelance Profiteer" which I think is an apt description of many people here
Profiteer here in the UK has connotations of racketeer or extortionist - definitely would only be used as an insult, anyway.
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I really like shortening that to just "Of Means"
No one would buy the "Gentleman" part anyways.
My thoughts exactly! If I don't pretend to tell the truth, you don't have to pretend to believe me!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/b2j0ze/so_i_was_handed_this_the_other_day/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
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I hope this link will work. I liked
https://twitter.com/HorribleSanity/status/868555171298631680?s=20
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DH and I are doing this, with a little inspiration from this thread!!!
His is going to be:
Gentleman Adventurer
He is currently working on definitions for both of the words, and he is moving his lifestyle to match (I get to help with suggestions). His goal is to not be a "lay-about" once we retire next year, as his personality can slide that way if left unprompted. This has been a fun process to watch.
Mine is going to be:
Troubadour!
I am working on learning my first instrument now. The plan is to travel (Adventure!) and play (traveling musician). We should make an interesting team.
DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
You might have just changed my life forever. I could totally troubadour! I can totally see myself travelling the world busking (possibly while also performing martial arts, why waste good skills!). Too bad I'm still more than 5 years away from my target number.
I haven't used any of my professional musician talents since college, but I'm sure they'll polish up nicely.
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Bicycles, Boats and Bullshit.
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I think I would like mine to say "Master of None"
Because I like to learn new skills, but also get bored easily.
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I've got to bump this thread again as I am updating my LinkedIn profile now that I am no longer working. I'm staring at my job title that appears just below my name, and right now it reads "Embracing life to the fullest". There is also an About section which starts out "Opting into awesomeness", borrowing from MMM himself on a recent podcast I listened to.
I'm still chewing on my "job title" part though. I think I could do better there.
This thread has been hilariously great for physical business cards but I'd like to hear what ideas you have that are more specifically applicable to an online profile like LinkedIn.
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I've got to bump this thread again as I am updating my LinkedIn profile now that I am no longer working. I'm staring at my job title that appears just below my name, and right now it reads "Embracing life to the fullest". There is also an About section which starts out "Opting into awesomeness", borrowing from MMM himself on a recent podcast I listened to.
I'm still chewing on my "job title" part though. I think I could do better there.
This thread has been hilariously great for physical business cards but I'd like to hear what ideas you have that are more specifically applicable to an online profile like LinkedIn.
LinkedIn, what is this LinkedIn? Hahaha! Thanks for reviving one of my favorite threads!
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Sherlock Holmes called himself the world's first "consulting detective", which I always liked. Seems like "consulting ________" offers a lot of potential.
Consulting Badass
Consulting Layabout
Consulting Troublemaker
Or flip it:
Badassity Consultant
Hedonic Consultant
Mischief Consultant
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Turd Polisher
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Turd Polisher
I use this one on bad days while working the job. Definitely do not plan to be doing this or using the title when RE.
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Insert Job Title Here
I think I would go with "Capitalist"
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diligent hand washer
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diligent hand washer
Topical.
"Socially Distant"
You have to throw the card at them from six feet away though.
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diligent hand washer
Topical.
"Socially Distant"
You have to throw the card at them from six feet away though.
That is the beauty of LinkedIn though. Social distancing compliant.
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Royale with cheese
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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i stole this from guitarstv:
pageantry masquerading as security
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I love that this keep getting bumped!
DH and I are doing this, with a little inspiration from this thread!!!
His is going to be:
Gentleman Adventurer
He is currently working on definitions for both of the words, and he is moving his lifestyle to match (I get to help with suggestions). His goal is to not be a "lay-about" once we retire next year, as his personality can slide that way if left unprompted. This has been a fun process to watch.
Mine is going to be:
Troubadour!
I am working on learning my first instrument now. The plan is to travel (Adventure!) and play (traveling musician). We should make an interesting team.
DH and I believe there should be more whimsy in the world, what we can't find we had better make!
You might have just changed my life forever. I could totally troubadour! I can totally see myself travelling the world busking (possibly while also performing martial arts, why waste good skills!). Too bad I'm still more than 5 years away from my target number.
I haven't used any of my professional musician talents since college, but I'm sure they'll polish up nicely.
No need to wait until you are retired :). Whimsy has no timeline or set dates.
I also love that people have skills. I have so few, but love to dream! I know a few chords now though!