Author Topic: Communication in long distance relationship  (Read 3773 times)

T-Rex

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Communication in long distance relationship
« on: January 16, 2014, 03:00:12 AM »
What are good apps and things to connect? I know of the app Viber for text and calls, and U.S. Mail. Please make suggestions for someone with mediocre internet (example: Skype isn't gonna work)

kt

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2014, 03:30:26 AM »
i'm not sure about apps but i've used skype with pretty poor internet, even if you can't sustain a video call you can usually manage voice calls which make a huge difference.
what kind of thing are you looking for? with text, voice calls, email and post i'd think you're pretty much sorted, just a case of discussing your wishes and expectations for contact (my bf and i skyped once or twice a week for a good few hours and sent emails in between while)
plus, knowing when you're going to see each other next makes a huge difference. i almost miss sitting down with the calendar and planning date weekends!
if possible, make sure you know when the long distance portion will be over and what will hopefully happen then. i don't think i could have managed indefinite long distance.

T-Rex

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2014, 04:17:08 AM »
I guess it would be good to know any app or program that is good for interaction, even something like a game or drawing.

Anatidae V

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2014, 04:42:51 AM »
I play video games with my siblings (they live 200km away) using Skype to talk while playing in the same game on steam. Our recent favourite is Monaco.

rockstache

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2014, 09:47:59 AM »
Skype is terrible in my experience. I recently downloaded Tango, which a lot of travelling people at my work use. I haven't gotten fully into it yet, but it seems to be good so far.

Cromacster

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2014, 10:00:32 AM »
If you are somewhat tech savy (or can follow a how to guide)

http://www.ventrilo.com/

You can either find a server to use (not really the easiest thing to do unless you are into gaming) or you can fairly easily setup your own channel for free.

I usually use it for gaming with friends, but we also use it just as a social connection now that we are all over the country with jobs and what not.

Also if you have poor internet the quality can be reduced to alleviate lag time.

crumbcatcher

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2014, 12:30:00 PM »
My BF and I have been doing the long distance thing for more than two years.  I'll tell you what works for us, and you can weed it out based on what technology issues you experience.

Google Talk on desktop, laptop and Android phones
IM+ on iPad and iPhone (allows you to log into Google Talk)
SMS on both phones
Email
Snail mail care packages and letters
Skype on desktop, laptop and iPad
Facetime on iPad and iPhone
An app called Couple, for both Android and iOS phones
Google Docs - collaborative environment for writing (which we enjoy) that also has chat embedded in it
Scrabble on the iPad (you have to set up a game account, not a big deal)
(several other iPad games that you can play together with Facebook logins)
Second Life (create avatars and explore, chat inworld, etc.)

The last on the list is actually how we met.  We both view it as a 3D social network. We have common friends there, which helps reinforce our status as a couple - something that strengthens the bond we have from a distance.  If you can't run Skype you definitely can't run SL, but something just to keep in mind if your bandwidth should change later.  Also, you can have free accounts - no need to spend money there if you don't want to.

We also "go to the movies" by watching a movie on Netflix together while talking on Skype, which can handle just audio if your bandwidth isn't good enough for video.  We also will coordinate movie times at theaters local to each of us, chat on our mobile phones on the way in, watch the movies and then chat about it afterward.  (He is four hours ahead of me, so he finds an 9:00 pm showtime, for example, and I find a 5:00 showtime.)  This is if we are in the mood to splurge on a theater movie.

Also, we read books together, chat about them as we read them and share our thoughts.

A long distance relationship can be pretty mustachian, actually, until airfare gets involved.  Better get those airline miles!
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 12:31:50 PM by crumbcatcher »

galliver

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2014, 12:34:22 PM »
So far, I've found that Google [VideoChat, Hangouts, whatever it is these days] is much better with poor connections than Skype...Skype is picky.

senecando

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2014, 02:30:54 PM »
I'd also like to suggest what we did for about a year on my college's shitty internet: Telephone + Skype. Even if the skype freezes, the audio is smooth, and you get to still see them in sorta real time. It's better than it sounds.

homehandymum

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2014, 04:23:23 PM »
DH and i were long distance for a year back in the dark ages before broad-band internet, so I have no idea about tech solutions, but for us, emailing back and forth was good - including long distance chess or puzzles.  DH invented a 4D tic-tac-toe game and we would send moves back and forth.

Also, our phone company had an 'all you can eat' $10 call for calls between here and the country where he was living.  Once a week i would get up at 3am and phone him on the landline, and we'd talk for 3 hours. (that was the time that worked for us both).

I'm glad we didn't do this for an indefinite time - a year was long enough (and almost too long).  We were 'going steady' but not engaged at the time.  On the plus side, it really helped our communication patterns - we now talk talk talk things out, and learned through that time to not assume we knew what the other person was thinking or meaning.  In hindsight, I am glad our relationship had a chance to grow based on conversation and interests without the complication of physical distraction and busy-ness.  We also learned to love and stay committed to each other while maintaining our own lives and interests - avoiding getting sucked into that wormhole of living your whole life just for the other person.  Anyhow, that's beside the point :)

Best of luck!  It can work, and can be good in the long run, even if it's not much fun in the short term.

Sunflower

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2014, 05:36:27 PM »
I've been in two long-distance relationships that were pretty different. During the first one we talked/texted/IM'd pretty much constantly and started using Skype as video chat was developed. Overall I feel like that was more that enough but it might have been fun to have some games like scrabble to play over the course of the week as well.

My current SO and I lived in the same place for 4 years and are now apart. I'm much happier with the LDR aspect of the relationship because we don't feel the need to communicate that much on an average day. We really like each other but neither of us is extremely talkative and we both have a bunch of other stuff going on in our lives. In a typically day we'll send a few IMs back and forth when I'm home from work. (So far today I sent a message that said "Hi!" and he replied "hello :-)" - that's probably how it will stay until one of us has something else worth saying). We generally text goodnight if we haven't spoken much and on the weekends we'll talk/Skype for 15-30 minutes or so. We do have the luxury of being relatively close so we try to spend every 2nd or 3rd weekend together but I wanted to give this example to say that it's totally possible to be in a happy LDR without using 15 methods of technology to stay attached at the hip.

YMMV and I won't judge if you need more interaction. :-)

SweetLife

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2014, 05:30:45 AM »
My husband and I use "Tango" to contact his siblings in UK and on the island of Madeira ... it is through the internet so if you have a good signal it is wonderful (and free) ...video, text and calls ...
The only thing I don't like about it is that it sometimes interferes with other programs - there must be a way to disable that function but I never bothered with it and just left it on the one cell phone.


Good luck !!

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Communication in long distance relationship
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2014, 05:21:22 PM »
When my DW and I first started dating, Skype wasn't a thing. Webcams existed, I think, but neither of us had one. We became friends in person, but actually fell in love on break over AIM. Many of our best conversations were over IM.

These days when she's on business trips we do the occasional phone call, but it usually falls apart after ten or twenty minutes. Skype sessions become the goblins running around like crazy people. Any actual conversation is done by text. Since we have unlimited texting, it's essentially the same as our AIM days.