If any of the advertising was targeted towards open relationships and swinging couples I'd agree with you. However, that's not their target demographic at all based on ads. . .
Yup, at the very least they're certainly selling themselves purely as for secret infidelities, rather than for open relationships or other arrangements. I would agree with the post above that it's not a venue I ever hear of being used by the people in my circles who have non-monogamous relationships.
That said, I'm not blanket anti-infidelity; I think there are many times when the marriage/family are simply more important than sexual fidelity (though negotiating an open relationship is obviously vastly preferable if possible).
In particular, I think the sheer numbers here are worth noting. This isn't something that's remotely rare, so treating it like "those terrible people" instead of "possibly every other person you know, at some point in their lives" (North American stats are usually in the 40-60% range) is probably not getting to the heart of the issue--it just lets us feel superior.
Hang on. How are you placing the value and importance of your family and marriage ahead of your own selfish desires by fucking someone who isn't your wife in secret? I'm not seeing it from here . . .
The sheer numbers of people cheating don't make me feel superior, just very sad that so many are so miserable and have given up on the possibility of fixing their relationship problem.
No, I meant that there's a lot of reasons why keeping the marriage and family together are a better response to cheating than "auto-divorce" would be.
However, I do think it can go the other way, in some circumstances. A spouse with disabilities who's financially dependent on you but cannot or does not want to ever have sex with you again, for instance--I don't have a huge problem with that person choosing to stay married but also to have a discreet affair. Or for that matter a spouse who's an amazing parent and best friend but has no interest in ever having sex again; it might be better to have some (again, discreet) encounters if it allows the family to stay together.
The assumption that leaving is always better isn't, I think, one that we should cling to--and I say that as a divorce lawyer! Divorce is bad for children, it's financially devastating for most people, and a lot of people would rather stay together if they felt they had any social room to do so after cheating. But we put an expectation on them to get out, and shame people who don't (say, Hillary Clinton).
Again, obviously, open relationships are better. But lots of things are better than breaking up an otherwise functional and supportive family, even if that means forgiving mistakes OR pursuing discreet options rather than going for the next forty years without sex (which we really can't devalue; sex is a powerful and driving force for pretty much all living beings, and just saying 'don't be selfish' isn't going to stop people from wanting it intensely).
ETA: people often assume that cheating is a symptom of a bad marriage; I'm not sure that's true. It's perhaps a symptom of a bad sex life, or of any of lots of other things, but good-in-many-ways marriages can still have problems in their less-perfect parts. Every relationship has compromises and imperfections.
