Should I plan for my son to start college at 14?

[Bob W]

He is in second grade now.  We could either homeschool or have him skip grades to finish high school by 14. 

Discuss -------

[johnny847]

I don't think that's wise. Sticking a 14 year old into a community with a bunch of 18-23 year olds isn't going to work out so well.

[Psychstache]

Through a combination of starting school early and graduating early, I started college at 16. While intellectually ready, I was no where near emotionally ready. Given the chance, I would not do it over again.

my 0.02

[AllieVaulter]

If you have a community college near you where your son could take college classes and still live at home it might be a good experience.  As Johnny noted, there can certainly be issues with a large age difference, but if your son still lives near his friends, it's not like he'll only be interacting with 18 year olds. 

[trailrated]

I think kids need time to be kids, get in trouble, do stupid things. As far as regurgitating material from text books and what not I am sure he could do that at a college level easily in that time frame but the maturity to deal with social interactions and what not would be tough.

[I'm a red panda]

If your son has the ability to do so, I would start saving money to allow him to. But I also wouldn't count on it just because he shows early aptitude.

That said, I wouldn't assume the only option is a community college. If anything, the community college should be used during the end years of high school level curriculum, with plans to go on to a 4-year university.


In 2010 our local university paper had an article about a 16 year old a PhD program.  Her 10 year old sister was in the biomedical engineering bachelor's program.
The family did make time to make sure she socialized with kids her own age, but this was the norm in her family, when they did well in school, they accelerated them. (Another young sibling was also in the undergrad program, and a teenage brother was at a carribean med school- the 16 year old was doing the PhD until she was old enough to go to a US med school.)

Found the article: http://www.dailyiowan.com/2010/10/28/Metro/19691.html

[GizmoTX]

If you have a community college near you where your son could take college classes and still live at home it might be a good experience.  As Johnny noted, there can certainly be issues with a large age difference, but if your son still lives near his friends, it's not like he'll only be interacting with 18 year olds.

The Dallas County Community College system has a high school within one of its locations, where qualified students can attend classes with their peers yet graduate HS with a college associate degree. "Qualified" means they have scored well on academic tests, have good grades, & can attend for their 3rd & 4th years of HS.  It foregoes the "standard" HS experience, but many aren't thrilled by that anyway. It would certainly be a way to save some serious money & time.

[rubybeth]

Eh, I wouldn't bank on this working out. Social skills and maturity are some issues, and also, why would you want your 14-year-old to miss out on just being a kid? Pushing them too early seems like a recipe for them to become overworked too early. It seems mustachian, but wouldn't the better gift be to give your kid time to explore the things he actually likes? Maybe that's school, but likely not.

[Neustache]

For me it's an efficiency type thing.  If he can graduate with a high school diploma and an associates degree in the same amount of time, why wouldn't you?  By then so much will be online, and much of it already is, that he won't actually be in classes with people much older than him. 

As far as 'let kids be kids' I think going to 12 hours of classes a week gives him more, not less, time to be a kid and pursue his passions.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED high school, but I loved college even more.   I would leave it open as an option, but not necessarily push it. 

[I'm a red panda]

For me it's an efficiency type thing.  If he can graduate with a high school diploma and an associates degree in the same amount of time, why wouldn't you?  By then so much will be online, and much of it already is, that he won't actually be in classes with people much older than him. 

As far as 'let kids be kids' I think going to 12 hours of classes a week gives him more, not less, time to be a kid and pursue his passions.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED high school, but I loved college even more.   I would leave it open as an option, but not necessarily push it.

I'm not really seeing the efficiency of getting an associates degree. For many people, that is entirely unneeded.
Dual credit at a 4-year university (or a community college with very careful planning of what will transfer to a 4-year; I know people who basically wasted time at CC because their credits from their associates made almost no dent in the the B.S. they wanted) makes a lot more sense.

Unless of course you are going to a career field where an associates is valuable.

[Neustache]

Oh really?  Huh.  All of my credits transferred from my AA to my Psych degree.  But yes, planning is important. My husband, whose degree is in IT, could have taken 2 years at a community college and had almost all of his credits apply to his bachelors.    The value of a community college cost-wise makes it a very good choice when compared to a 4 year school.  YMMV.

[RunHappy]

I would say if you want to homeschool him, then homeschool him, but don't push him into doing something major with his life because you think it is more efficient.  Take it year by year and ask him what he thinks.  Let the decision be his.   He may want the "full college experience" with his friends when he is 18 and resent you for pushing him to fulfill your dream.  At second grade he is going to go along with whatever you say but as he gets older those ideas will change and become more his.

[theknitcycle]

I started college at 16 as well.  Given what I know now, it's hard to say if I would do it again. 

What happened with me is that my two best friends in daycare were a year older, so when they reached kindergarten age, the daycare center and my parents agreed to put me into the kindergarten program as well rather than separate the inseparable.  And then the next year, what were they going to do with me but first grade?  I had been through kindergarten, was already reading above a first grade level, etc.  So that was the early start.  Then I found high school intolerable, and made a deal with the guidance counselor that if she could find a way to help me graduate early (testing out of classes, night classes at community college, etc. ), I would stick with it and not drop out.

So -- individually, I can't say either of those were bad decisions.  What else would I have done with those years?  And I met some of my (to this day) best friends in college, so on that level the social/emotional part worked out fine. 

But there were downsides, for sure.  The main ones: 

• I never got those late-teenage parenting moments.  The kind of sex talks that happen once it seems like sex might happen soon or might already be happening, introductions to how and why to get a ladyparts doctor (not that that specific one would be relevant to your son), the gradual increases in responsibility and freedom. All that stuff.  I sort of jumped straight from having the same rules, curfew, parental relationship, etc. that had been established at 14 to living in a dorm out of state.  Nothing bad happened, but it did mean I was figuring out on my own and at random a lot of things that other people learned in safer and more controlled environments.
• The biggest one -- I graduated from college about two years before I figured out what I wanted to study.  I really had no idea what I wanted to do or be, just that high school was over and college was the next step and my parents were scared that if I took some time off in between, I might never go back.  So off I went, and I took whatever classes fit into my schedule most conveniently, and then they handed me a diploma and that was that.  By the time something really sparked an interest in me and I felt truly called to a field of study, I already had a useless degree in a completely different field, none of the prerequisites I would need for what I wanted to study, and a crippling debt that made it very hard to justify going back for more.

For your son -- if he naturally shows the inclination, and if he's one of those kids who had his career picked out before he started walking, then sure, start saving and do whatever it takes to help him reach his goals.  Both of the pitfalls I can identify in my path in retrospect are avoidable if foreseen.  But I certainly wouldn't push it or try to have early graduation be a goal that you set on his behalf.  And if he moves faster than usual up to a certain point and then needs to stop and make no "progress" for a time while his peers catch up to him, let that be too.  Our society is geared for slow and steady, but a lot of people operate better at sprint-pause-sprint, if that makes sense.  If you have a sprint-pause-sprint kid, make sure he knows he's allowed to take those pauses.  They're important.

[Bob W]

Thanks for the input folks  ----  I'm very old, so when my son is 18 I will be 66.   Meaning if he does the standard deal I'll be 70ish when he finishes his BA.    I'm not in great health,  so making it to 70 will be optimistic on my part.   
 

In second grade I can already see the school holding him back/dumbing him down.   There is no music or foreign language at school so that is up to us anyway. 
So I'm thinking why not see what we can do.    I had hoped to skip third grade but missed that option so the next chance would be skipping 4th,  7th or 8th and 12th.   (at that rate he would be done with high school at 14 and probably have 1.5 years of college credit under his belt to be able to complete and undergrad by age 18.   

Most of the home school friend I have only have school for 2 hours per day to keep up with public school.

I can see where it would be strange to be 15 in a traditional college environment but I could easily see a hybrid thing where many classes are on line or finishing lots of college credits in high school.   

Thanks for the input on maturity.   Hard to imagine him in a few years since most of his down time is watching Mine Craft on Youtube.   We will need to push the maturity issue a bit more I think.   (see lots of immature 40 year olds out there)

Here is a girl that graduated college and high school the same day at age 16.   http://www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-girl-graduates-from-high-school-and-college-in-same-week/

This is not my son.   He is neither super gifted or hard core about studying.   That is not to say he could not be motivated to study hardier.   That will be our job.    (Tiger Dad?)

[Hopper]

Another started college at 16 person - there are more of us than I thought.  I did it because I was bored with HS (definitely not a genius or more capable of skipping grades than most) and an anti-authoritarian who didn't like the rules of high school. I hatched this idea, doubled up on requirements, skipped some study halls, and applied to a local 4 year college before taking the SAT.  I ended up transferring out of state my sophomore year, and had a great big city college experience.  I personally was ready for that at 17, but I would not have been ready for that at 14.  FWIW, I found it hard to make friends in college when they discovered I was 16 and living at home with a curfew.  That got easier when I transferred and lived on campus.

I was out of law school and a practicing attorney at 23.  Looking back, it all worked out well but I wish I had slowed down.  I get your rush to want to see him taken care of and guide him through the typical young adult issues while you are alive and able, but if the drive isn't coming from him, I would leave it alone and let him go at the typical pace.  My $.02.  :)

[KCM5]

I get your rush to want to see him taken care of and guide him through the typical young adult issues while you are alive and able, but if the drive isn't coming from him, I would leave it alone and let him go at the typical pace.  My $.02.  :)

This. I think you're best bet for raising your son is to recognize his individuality and guide him through life with that in mind, ensuring he also has the skills to navigate adulthood in our society. What all of that means depends on him, not you.

[gimp]

Absolutely fucking not, no way, no how, is a 14-year-old prepared to go to college. They won't make friends, they won't engage in social activities, they'll be the weird little kid sitting in class.

Skipping one grade can be done. I would not want to do any more than that. I've seen how much kids struggled after skipping one grade - and I mean ridiculously smart kids who ended up at MIT etc.

Would highly recommend instead a more rigorous education starting around 6th grade or so. Amp it up as much as is reasonable (leave plenty of hours for sleep, sports, social life, etc.)

[Roots&Wings]

I went to an early college where most students started at 16. Some were as young as 11. There are also some 'early college high schools' which combine high school + first 2 years of college.

Worked out great for me because I hated high school, was interested in actually learning instead of rote testing crap, and my parents were supportive.

All depends on your son and his individual goals/drive.

[Cwadda]

High school and college are times to experience a lot of personal growth and development. If so, I would do it in a school where there are other kids of similar age. Starting college at 14 with a bunch of older people is not a good idea IMO.

[cpa cat]

You shouldn't -plan- for it. You should just be open to having him decide. Given that your song is still quite young, you don't really know for sure how he's going to relate to school. Remember that the vast majority of students do well (maybe even do best) in a traditional school environment and on a traditional schedule.

Even intelligent students who could easily finish early may want to stay in on a traditional track because they like it and it suits them.

You certainly should avoid broadcasting any messages to him that normal school is dumb or slow. While he may be advanced now, there may come a point when school is challenging for him and you don't want him to feel like he's failing by just being normal.

There is no rush. Let him take his time and let him guide the education decisions that you make for him, instead of you pushing him into a fast-tracked process.

[windawake]

I did PSEO during my senior year of high school, which meant I took half a day of classes at a local community college and half a day of classes at my charter high school. The PSEO was completely free of charge to me, including books. I still got the high school experience alongside college credits.

With the AP classes and PSEO, I was able to graduate a semester early from college. If I hadn't tried so hard to double major, I could've graduated even earlier.

[merula]

+1 to windawake. I took AP classes, though not PSEO, and it definitely put a dent in what I had to take in college. My sister did "College in the Schools", which was taking a college course with a college professor only it was physically located at the high school.

You should also look at what might transfer from regular classes. (Had I taken more calculus in HS, I wouldn't have had to take the same classes in college.)

[Gone Fishing]

As others have mentioned, there is still plenty up in the air. But one thing to consider is acceleratating his work experience vs his academic schedule if he up for it.  Not a perfect example, but I was identified as "gifted" and as such placed in advanced courses which were just code for excessive amounts of school work, which in hindsight might actually be good training for a good little corporate grunt, but I have never been a good little corporate grunt, then or now (hence the ER plans).  But, my senior year I was able to extract myself from the most advanced course, drop back to "regular" advanced courses, and secure early work release (sounds like a prison term now that I think about it). So every day, I left school at noon, walked to work, and put in 4 hours or so as a mail clerk at an insurance company.  It was the best year of my middle/high school experience and I had more cash than anyone I knew come graduation time.  When I went to college, I continued to work approx 15-20 hours a week for the most part and it helped me feel much more balanced than doing either one full time.   

[Bob W]

There are some awesome replies here so far.  Thanks everyone.   

I should also mention that my son was the second youngest (by 3days) out of the 200 kindergartners in his class due to a July 27 Bday.  Lukes dad (the other youngest is actually older than me!)

We had a similar discussion with some of the same points.   Too young,  boys mature slower,  socially slow etc..   As it turned out he was and still remains something of a slow starter socially.   I think that may be a personality and having been raised alone thingy than an age thing though?    Academically he is doing very well with just a tad of effort on our part thus far.   Reads at a 4th grade level.   

We have recently started and in home Spanish course with him through duolingo.   He really enjoys it.   So I am seeing that the school is not very up with it.   The local high school Spanish teacher hadn't even heard of Duolingo.       

It is not a hurry and decide and yes I concur with the see how he develops thinking.   So for now I will focus on what I can do to academically move him ahead of the local pack.   Spanish,  Piano lessons,   focus on study time at home.   

But I am still very interested in knowing what you all think?   Especially those who have done the early thing in some form or other.

I can very easily see where graduating  with 2 years of college knocked out through  Clepping and taking college credit course in high school might be a decent route for anyone.   So in that case it would be starting college as a just turned 18 kid in a small school with the idea of 2 years of undergrad and a focus on working towards the advanced degree.

Of course college isn't for everyone and I wouldn't rule out another route.    I can see 9-10 years from now that being a wizard at computer science at 18 would open lots of doors without college. 

Thanks everyone!

[GizmoTX]

I'm very old, so when my son is 18 I will be 66.   Meaning if he does the standard deal I'll be 70ish when he finishes his BA.    I'm not in great health,  so making it to 70 will be optimistic on my part.   

It's much more important that your son have the time & experiences to figure out what he wants to study than to get an early degree. Especially if he then decides it was the wrong one.

Also, take the time to really enjoy your son's journey; they're gone too fast as it is.

For what it's worth, DH & I were 64 when DS was 18. As a tween, he did a number of summer day camps doing video tech, rocketry, programming, & building things. He did a lot of career exploration as a byproduct of Boy Scout merit badges. He worked at a small computer company his last 2 summers in HS, took engineering & forensics courses in HS, & decided to study engineering at college. He's now 21 & will graduate next year with dual majors in Electrical Engineering & Math in 4 years total. He will then do an accelerated graduate program to get his MSEE in just 1 year. Acceleration can happen at the back end if the skills are learned very well at the front end. We avoided AP courses so that DS could focus on fundamentals; he was diagnosed in the 2nd grade with a learning difference in math. He is especially proud that he's very good at it now.

DS has needed the gift of time socially. While he has always made friends, he is finally comfortable forming the kind of friendships that most have in HS. Maybe growing up around older parents has something to do with it; he's an old soul & it seems as if his friends are finally reaching his maturity level.

[Psychstache]

I can very easily see where graduating  with 2 years of college knocked out through  Clepping and taking college credit course in high school might be a decent route for anyone.   So in that case it would be starting college as a just turned 18 kid in a small school with the idea of 2 years of undergrad and a focus on working towards the advanced degree.

I would be much more in favor of this. My HS offered multiple dual credit courses, and I think getting college credit while still in high school is a much better plan than graduating early.

[mxt0133]

I'm really enjoying this thread as it give me some insight on the possibilities I want for my kids.  I too agree that traditional school can be inefficient and have decided to homeschool our kids from the start.  I will re-evaluate every year to see if it is the right fit for each child. 

I can imagine them being way ahead academically by the time they get to age 14-16 if we do our jobs properly and encourage them to be curious and provide them the freedom to explore.  At that point I would like to think that I would be FIRE or at the very least FI and would use that time to help them see the world to expand their horizons, i'm not going to wait that long to let them see the world, but to let them spend a good amount of time abroad with or without a us. 

I think this will help with the finding out what they can be passionate about and also help their maturity by putting them in new situations and not having someone to lean on.

The beauty of FI is the endless possibilities at your finger tips with these kinds of decisions.

[LiveLean]

I went to high school and later college with a kid who was 2-3 years ahead, barely 16 when he graduated high school.

Small and kind of immature, but we were an all-boys high school so no big deal. Multiple engineering/math degrees. He made a fortune in the initial tech boom, has 100 or so patents to his name and was one of the first Google employees. He's still there. I'd say it worked out okay for him.

[waltworks]

You're just going to teach your kid that they will be judged in life based on how fast they can jump through hoops. Let them be bored at school some. Let them daydream. Let them come up with their own weird projects to fill their time. Because when they're adults, when they went to college or took calc 2 won't be relevant anymore.

If the kid wants to do things faster, let THEM take all the initiative. Because when they're an adult, that initiative will come in handy a lot. If you push them through things faster, no benefit. They're just learning to do what they're told, but faster.

I went to college a couple years early. It was fine for me but it was entirely my doing with no parental pressure. And it would have been fine for me (and maybe better) not to go early, just because I might have had less of an awful time socializing.

-W

[Joshin]

We're still in the midst of our story, so I'll tell you how it's playing out thus far.

Our boys are both advanced students. After 2 years of regular classroom instruction, we realized it wasn't going to work out. We ended up homeschooling. Elder son is now almost 15. He took the state college readiness exam in the fall. He ranks well ahead of 95% of students in the state. He is ecstatic because he already has big plans.

He starts college in approximately one year. He has already been accepted to the program he wants, just waiting to try for the National Merit scholarship, plus we think 16 is a better age for college than almost 15. He will take advantage of the running start program in our state to get two free years of college during high school. We aren't too worried about the age gap at college because a lot of high schoolers take advantage of this program -- he'll just be attending full time instead of part time. The program of study he was accepted into is a joint program between a local community college and the state college. Same class materials, same professors, same degree in the end. He simply takes the first two years six blocks away at the community college before switching to the design institute. He knows what he wants to do, and his goal is to get his Bachelor's with no debt by the time he is 20.

Younger son is 10. He has been focused on one goal since he could show a preference. I don't see him wavering for reasons I won't get into here. He has no intention of starting college early, though. He already plans to do some high school internships in the field, but wants to enjoy his childhood. This is because he quizzes every person he meets in this field about what it is like and what he needs to do to get into it. This is a field for over-achievers, but his goal is to over-achieve at age appropriate levels until standard college age. This may change, of course.

With both boys, we taught them at their level and their pace. This meant everything was naturally accelerated. Elder son could graduate high school right now, but instead he plans to spend next year prepping for the SATs and taking some lab classes at the local co-op. Younger is also on track to be an early graduate, but if he sticks to his current plan he will probably fill up his high school years further preparing himself with additional classes.

If either child decided that college wasn't for them, or that they needed to slow down, we would support that. In fact, with the elder boy we have pretty much insisted that he slow down a bit.

In second grade, I'd just focus at teaching to the child's level. Around age 11 or 12 you'll start to get a good idea of where their trajectory is heading. This still allows plenty of time to change course if necessary. I think 16 is the perfect age for college for some kids. Others should probably hold off for a few years (or decades).

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

I think that MOST 14-year-olds do not have the maturity to get their money's worth out of college. When I was in middle school, my parents heard about a program at Mary Baldwin that allowed girls to start college as early as 14. I decided against it, thinking that then I would miss out on both high school and college in a way.

More life experience would be better. When I taught middle school, I felt like most kids that age should be doing schoolwork for like an hour or two a day, then spending the rest of day chopping wood or baling hay or something. He could pursue something he's passionate about while earning a few credits on the side.

Although maybe I would have gotten MORE out of college starting younger and at an all-women's school... because in actual fact what happened was I got engaged halfway through freshman year, then graduated early so I could get married...

[secondcor521]

Each kid is different.  I agree with those that say encourage the child and let them know about the options, and probably discuss pros and cons and give your wise input, but let them drive the direction they want to go at the end of the day.

My oldest is a National Merit Scholar, has Aspberger's tendencies, and is a exceedingly smart college dropout at the moment.

My middle has hatched his own plan to finish high school a year early and take 8 AP courses over his last two years, so with some luck he'll have a high school diploma and ~2 years of college credit at 17.  He wants to be an engineer.  I'm 100% supportive because it's his idea, but I'm also going to watch him as he goes along and encourage him to back off the plan if he's not being successful at it for whatever reason.

My daughter is probably a better student than either of my sons, but she loves school and her friends and has no plans to graduate early.  But she goes to a science/math magnet school, is in advanced classes, and I'm guessing will top out of all the high school advanced classes by her senior year.  She has the option of concurrent enrollment at the nearby university if she wants, and she may do that.

I guess in addition to all being different, I've seen mine change trajectories pretty drastically over time, so I would also say take things as they come.

[clarkfan1979]

If you have a community college near you where your son could take college classes and still live at home it might be a good experience.  As Johnny noted, there can certainly be issues with a large age difference, but if your son still lives near his friends, it's not like he'll only be interacting with 18 year olds.

Each kid is different. If I was do it all over again, I would have taken community college classes approximately 2 years before high school graduation. I'm not sure if that was possible for me, but I wish I had done it.

I was smart and motivated, but not brilliant. I hated my high school classes during senior year. It felt like I was just killing time until college. When in college, I could only take 12 units/semester if I wanted to get A's. As a result, it took me 5.5 years to graduate. I feel like if I took some community college classes while in high school, I could have graduate in 4 years, while only taking 12 credits a semester.

Many high school kids have the academic skills for a college class. However, they don't have the maturity to live on their own in a college environment. Taking college classes while still living at home would be a good option. 

[RunHappy]

Thanks for the input folks  ----  I'm very old, so when my son is 18 I will be 66.   Meaning if he does the standard deal I'll be 70ish when he finishes his BA.    I'm not in great health,  so making it to 70 will be optimistic on my part.   
 

In second grade I can already see the school holding him back/dumbing him down.   There is no music or foreign language at school so that is up to us anyway. 
So I'm thinking why not see what we can do.    I had hoped to skip third grade but missed that option so the next chance would be skipping 4th,  7th or 8th and 12th.   (at that rate he would be done with high school at 14 and probably have 1.5 years of college credit under his belt to be able to complete and undergrad by age 18.   

Most of the home school friend I have only have school for 2 hours per day to keep up with public school.

I can see where it would be strange to be 15 in a traditional college environment but I could easily see a hybrid thing where many classes are on line or finishing lots of college credits in high school.   

Thanks for the input on maturity.   Hard to imagine him in a few years since most of his down time is watching Mine Craft on Youtube.   We will need to push the maturity issue a bit more I think.   (see lots of immature 40 year olds out there)

Here is a girl that graduated college and high school the same day at age 16.   http://www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-girl-graduates-from-high-school-and-college-in-same-week/

This is not my son.   He is neither super gifted or hard core about studying.   That is not to say he could not be motivated to study hardier.   That will be our job.    (Tiger Dad?)

So what I'm hearing is that you want to make sure you are around to witness him walking across both stages.  I think that is very sweet.

My opinion still doesn't change.  I think homeschool is fine, but take it year by year and do not push.  I've been reading about homeschoolers and it seems easier for them to graduate earlier because their learning is more concentrated.  Also not all homeschoolers take a full summer away from education.

If you're concerned about not being able to be there when he is an adult, then it makes living in the present all the more important.  Work on giving him great memories, necessary life skills, and taking the best care of yourself so you can live as long as you can.

One of my favorite movies is called "My Life" with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman.   He plays a man who was given 4 months to live just after finding out his wife is pregnant.    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Life_%28film%29

[I'm a red panda]

If you're concerned about not being able to be there when he is an adult, then it makes living in the present all the more important.  Work on giving him great memories, necessary life skills, and taking the best care of yourself so you can live as long as you can.

This is really good advice.  You don't want to discount all the wonderful things that happen in childhood just to get to one mile stone of seeing him graduate from college.

[MayDay]

Llamo (find her journal, or pm her) is currently going through the process of applying for and attending a special university program for gifted kids.  They accept 14-15ish year olds into a one year prep program at the university, then at 15-16 they start regular undergrad classes. 

That kind of program is probably the only way I would be comfortable with it.  They are "real" college students but still have the support structure they may need at a young age. 

The downside is you have to relocate to wherever those special programs are (the one llamo's son may do is university of Washington).  The upside is you get both the challenging academics and the age-appropriate support. 

My bright kid is a 1st grader and we are looking into math acceleration, but he has other challenges and I know full grade acceleration would be innapropriate for him.  It's hard, there aren't any easy answers. 

[sugarsnap]

I wouldn't want my kid to skip the high school years where they are safe at home and learning social skills and maturing. My 6th grader is very bright -top 2% in the US math scores - and the youngest in her class. She is behind in maturity already but not so much that she isn't friends with her peers.

Our plan is to send her to a local high school that offers a AA program through the local junior college. Then she can go to a 4 year as a junior, or if she's still deciding on what to do she will have time to take a variety of classes that interest her.

Oh, and for those that say an AA won't help, the community colleges in my state are all set up to have an general Ed. AA automatically transfer to all public state colleges and universities.

[Neustache]

I'm guessing my college experience definitely contributes to my answer - I did not read this that the kid would be living in a dorm.  I lived with my parents during college (community college plus university) until I got married.

I never even considered the OP meant that he would send his kid away.  LOL.  I still don't think that was what he was saying, but maybe my college experience made me assume the kid would still be at home, but maybe taking classes online or attending a community college. 

Yes - to the AA bit sugarsnap mentioned....I'm in Missouri and all my AA credits transferred to my 4 year degree.  Maybe we are just more organized in our public schools here in MO? 

[Bob W]

I'm guessing my college experience definitely contributes to my answer - I did not read this that the kid would be living in a dorm.  I lived with my parents during college (community college plus university) until I got married.

I never even considered the OP meant that he would send his kid away.  LOL.  I still don't think that was what he was saying, but maybe my college experience made me assume the kid would still be at home, but maybe taking classes online or attending a community college. 

Yes - to the AA bit sugarsnap mentioned....I'm in Missouri and all my AA credits transferred to my 4 year degree.  Maybe we are just more organized in our public schools here in MO?

Good to hear from a fellow Missourian!   I didn't realize that Missouri was so with it with AA credits.  I was aware of our awesome A+ program.   

And yeah,  I wasn't planning to throw him out to the wolves of the dorm right out of the gate.   It is a long way off but what I am envisioning is a couple of years of supported college.   If we play his cards right he could potentially finish up a BA by 19.  At that point he could move to an immersed college living environment.   It would be just that he is working on an advanced degree while his age peers are working of Freshman Studies 101. 

I am so happy I brought this topic up and everyone has given some very thoughtful responses.   I feel better knowing that this input is there.   We are winding down 2nd grade just now.   After all your input it seems the best I can do for now is encourage out of school enrichment through music, Spanish, reading, sports, Cub Scouts, etc...   In  one more year things may be radically different.   If he appears well ahead of the curve and I feel he is being held back we will have the option to homeschool or grade skip at that point.   

I don't want him to be totally pressured,  but I do want him to move ahead at a mastery pace and not be held back by artificial grade classifications.   

He is all into the Spanish a this point so that will be our focus in the weeks ahead.   That and I need to find some kind of summer situation that provides continuing education.   I absolutely hate that kids in the USA don't have year round school.   I read that the 1 semester of each grade level is spent reviewing the previous year as kids forget so much over the summer.   

So bottom line --- We as parents will need to step up our game to keep options open for his future and be sensitive to his motivations and social and emotional progress.   

*(note to self --Read Tiger Mom book and evaluate which ideas fit best for us)

[I'm a red panda]

I read that the 1 semester of each grade level is spent reviewing the previous year as kids forget so much over the summer.   

As a former teacher, I'd say that is quite an overestimate.
It's usually 2-4 weeks at the beginning of the year, and then an hour here or there as new units get started to review base skills.  But that kind of pre-unit review would still need to be done if you were in year round school.

[Apples]

Find summer programs.  Once you son hits middle school age, there will be tons.  I'm sure some exist for "gifted/advanced/etc" elementary school kids.  I think you first want to find a good high school program like a lot of people here have suggested.  AP credits, College in the High School, SEOP (I don't know what that is), etc. can get a good transition from h.s.-level stuff to college level while your child is still with similar-aged peers during a portion of the day.  And of course you'll probably want to know what he wants to study, which I don't think most kids truly know until 14 at least.  (BTW, 11-year-old in bioengineering?  seriously?)  For now you guys seem to be doing a lot of the right things.  I would call the high schools around you and ask what they do for really advanced students.  Some might have big programs already set up you can add to, while others (like mine) offer 3 College in the High School classes and allow independent study, which isn't much.  Then call your local and large state universities and ask about their honors and gifted and talented programs.  Sometimes people luck into having everything set up in a way they like, but I think most success stories have years of careful consideration and planning going into them.  Want to enter XY State U in 2 years at 15?  You need to be in this h.s. prep. program.  Want to be in that program?  You need to have done these p,r,o, and s things.  Two of those things might want to see that "the child" has done b and c before.  And now we're talking about 8 year olds.  It can be a deep dive into a lot of looking around at all the options, but once you're familiar with them you can start taking steps (or overtly not taking steps you don't think work for your son) and know what could be after those decisions.  Best of luck!

[Neustache]

I'm not certain it's a Missouri thing, but at least in the KC metro it worked out for me.  Attended Longview and then UMKC.  Had zero trouble with credits getting transferred.

I have a daughter in school and at least up here (KC), there's the option of a month-long summer school for anyone....first come first served.  We don't do it.  We 'homeschool' during the summer - lots of trips to the library and math workbooks, plus 'field trips'.  She loves it.  It helps keep her fresh but I still get to keep her during the summer. 


This summer's plan is to work on memorizing math facts, reading our first "Life of Fred" math book, and she'll read loads on her own so I don't have to push that.  She's my little science/nature nerd so there will be science demonstrations at her request.   We keep it fun and low-key and down to an hour or so a day.  We worked on reading/phonics last summer, and this year she just took off with her reading (1st grade this year).  This is the perfect balance for me.  I get the joy of teaching her, but it's only for a couple of months.  Ha! 

My daughter is already young for her grade (won't turn 7 until the summer) so I'll never pursue skipping a grade with her.  She'll already graduate at 17 and if she takes AP courses and some summer CC courses she might have her sophomore year of college wrapped up before she turns 19.  I would only push those options if she is really serious about her current dream of becoming a vet or zoologist.  Dreams change.  Hubby wanted to be on a nuclear sub, he's in IT. Ha! 

I've got to get the details on the A+ program - I must have missed that program by a few years.  My hubby and I had other merit/test based scholarships, though, so our Missouri education was very affordable and we were debt free when we graduated. 

[Bob W]

I'm not certain it's a Missouri thing, but at least in the KC metro it worked out for me.  Attended Longview and then UMKC.  Had zero trouble with credits getting transferred.

I have a daughter in school and at least up here (KC), there's the option of a month-long summer school for anyone....first come first served.  We don't do it.  We 'homeschool' during the summer - lots of trips to the library and math workbooks, plus 'field trips'.  She loves it.  It helps keep her fresh but I still get to keep her during the summer. 


This summer's plan is to work on memorizing math facts, reading our first "Life of Fred" math book, and she'll read loads on her own so I don't have to push that.  She's my little science/nature nerd so there will be science demonstrations at her request.   We keep it fun and low-key and down to an hour or so a day.  We worked on reading/phonics last summer, and this year she just took off with her reading (1st grade this year).  This is the perfect balance for me.  I get the joy of teaching her, but it's only for a couple of months.  Ha! 

My daughter is already young for her grade (won't turn 7 until the summer) so I'll never pursue skipping a grade with her.  She'll already graduate at 17 and if she takes AP courses and some summer CC courses she might have her sophomore year of college wrapped up before she turns 19.  I would only push those options if she is really serious about her current dream of becoming a vet or zoologist.  Dreams change.  Hubby wanted to be on a nuclear sub, he's in IT. Ha! 

I've got to get the details on the A+ program - I must have missed that program by a few years.  My hubby and I had other merit/test based scholarships, though, so our Missouri education was very affordable and we were debt free when we graduated.

http://dhe.mo.gov/ppc/grants/aplusscholarship.php      Not all high schools do it but many do.   Two years free college, plus some testing out,  plus state university tuition of 9K per year makes for a very cheap undergrad degree.   

Another bright note.  Our 23 year old is finishing up her Masters.  She did a teaching assistant gig so the Masters was free.   Sweet.   Eldest just took her final board with for her DO at age 30.   Wow that was a long time!   (You don't want to know what her student loan debt is!)

[mskyle]

I skipped third grade and ended up starting college at 16, graduating at 20. It didn't get me any real head start in life, IMO. Like, I guess I got an extra year or two in the workforce, but I kind of squandered that by making terrible decisions about what jobs to take (low-paying, borderline abusive - I just didn't know any better). Also I was socially on the young side and ended up being an extremely late bloomer in a lot of ways. I'm now 36 and on my third career, and very happy and wouldn't change things if I could go back, but I would probably make different decisions for my own (hypothetical) children.

What about taking your son out of school for a year or two, but not with the intention of accelerating him into college, just with the intention of letting him do awesome stuff?

At a minimum, if you're going to ask a 14-year-old to work with adults, make sure he is the most socially adept, self-assured 14-year-old possible.

ETA: they tell me I was bored in class in 2nd grade. I don't remember that. I do remember feeling awkwardly younger than my peers all through middle school, high school, and college.

[Bumbling Bee]

Through a combination of starting school early and graduating early, I started college at 16. While intellectually ready, I was no where near emotionally ready. Given the chance, I would not do it over again.

my 0.02

+1 I skipped a couple of grades and graduated high school/started college at 16 as well. I was completely unready emotionally, and I ended up graduating from college later than my peers (underwent a lot of deep emotional pain, dropped out for a while, etc.). I'm not saying that this will happen to your son, of course, but I would say working on his emotional development and helping him become a well-rounded person is far more important for his future success and happiness.

[forummm]

I started taking CC classes at 16 (when I could drive myself there). It worked for me. In retrospect I would have been fine taking more and starting earlier.

If the student is ready for it, I see finishing high school and starting college early as similar to RE. You have more time to do what you want to do (taking whatever classes at CC, taking classes that give you time to take whatever classes at a 4-year school later, getting a job on the side, etc), and it lets you graduate earlier (giving you more career freedom and earlier start at savings).

Each person is different. You'll know better what he's up for. I've heard CC's described as "high school with ashtrays" (back when tobacco was allowed), so the environment may not be too hard to adjust to for a 14-year old that's ready for it.

[DecD]

Interesting discussion here!

My son also just finished second grade, and is the youngest (or nearly) in his class with an August birthday.  He's more than keeping up, both academically and socially, so far (though who's to say what middle school will bring.)  We have no plans for him to skip grades- he's already young for his grade, the kids in his class seem to be a particularly friendly bunch, and he loves sports (so jumping ahead MORE would more or less remove the option of school sports from him.)  But more than that, anecdotally, the kids I knew who skipped a grade were no happier than ones who didn't.  In fact, they were more troubled in general, and had trouble in middle school and high school keeping up from a maturity standpoint.

So yeah, my son is bored with school.  Luckily there's a GT program- they only meet once a week but he LOVES it.  And starting in 6th grade, there is the option in our district to go to a GT magnet program for middle school.  The GT kids are automatically accepted, so it's just a choice- go to the excellent zoned-to middle school with some GT-specific classes, or choose the GT magnet program.  That program is a subset of a regular (excellent) middle school, so the kids could still do band, sports, etc with the rest of the school.

We will let him decide whether to go the intensive-academics route or the more traditional route- I'm glad we still have a couple more years before that decision is before us.

In the meantime- we're using this summer break to do all sorts of fun stuff- since we both work full-time still, he needs daycare in the summers.  But around here there are a lot of options.  He's already been to a soccer camp, a python-programming camp (morning) and "digital playground" (afternoon) where they learn to make websites at the local state college, a general run-around-and-play-sports camp, and this past week at the local nature preserve (canoeing, fishing, making pots out of clay dug out of the ground, hiking, generally getting muddy).  Awesome.  He still has baseball, sailing, gymnastics in front of him.  I love that he has summer vacation to take a break from the classroom and do different things.

We're also reading Tolkien together- he's halfway through The Two Towers and loving it.  As a verified lord-of-the-rings geek, I am utterly charmed by his enthusiasm :)

I had the option to go to a university program for my last two years of high school- I'd have lived in the dorm with other students in this program, and simultaneously done the first two years of college with the last two years of high school.  I very nearly made the decision to go.  But-- I loved band and didn't want to miss out on the typical high school stuff.  In the end, either might have been a good decision, but I'm glad I chose what I did.  It worked out very well for me.  I ended up with a BS, two MSes, and a PhD though 13 years of college/grad school, so I'm not sure accelerating that would have mattered much :) I guess I love school. 

In any case, if I were you, I'd focus on enrichment through elementary and middle school, but staying with his peers in the same grade.  And then look at options for the last years of HS if he's interested in accelerating things. 

[sheepstache]

Maybe this is me reading too many history books lately, but I'm big into the idea of not treating 14 year olds like children. You see how early people used to start adulthood and find their way in life. Referencing Tiger Mom, since it already got brought up, people had real accomplishments to define themselves, not just potential. And while I see that many behavioral problems with young folks are due to immaturity, I think that's half and the other half is the friction created when people are ready to go already and society is hauling back on the reins. Young people being out on their own early has gotten a bad rap, reasonably, because so often they were a) forced into positions that would equally have been bad for adults (grueling manual labor with no advancement opportunities, etc.) or b) forced into it by tragic circumstances, e.g., parents dying at a time with no social safety nets, in which case it's the tragic circumstances and limited opportunities that were the actual problem. I also don't understand the modern obsession with making sure people are always in strict year-by-year age groups considering this is not how humans have typically lived.

I would say if you want to homeschool him, then homeschool him, but don't push him into doing something major with his life because you think it is more efficient. 

Not to pick on RunHappy, but just because they phrased it in a way that makes it easy to say what I want: having him run the usual course in highschool is _also_ pushing him into doing something major with his life. Just because it's the default of our society at this time doesn't mean that it's not also a choice we're making.

I agree with others that planning his life out for him isn't the way to go. Assuming that he wants to go to college at all is a stretch. But equipping him so that he's in a better position to direct his life at 14 seems like a good goal to me.

[Erica/NWEdible]

Just follow your kids lead. I started college via cc at 15 and graduated uni at 19. Most of my peers did that special 1 year on boarding program at the UW then started at the U as regular freshman at 15ish. Most of us are very happy with our choices. Don't push your kid, but let him lead. I chose to gtfo of high school asap and I've never regretted it.  Kids pushed into that environment might really resent it.

[Erica/NWEdible]

As MayDay mentioned above, we are just starting out on our acceleration journey with DS.  He has been admitted to this program at the University of Washington: https://robinsoncenter.uw.edu/programs/eep/

Many, many of my close friends went through TS and EEP. They are all lovely, well adjusted people. Many met their future spouse at TS. General trivia: most annoying "civilian" question: "But what about pppprrrrrommmm? Won't you miss pppprrrrrrooooommm?" 100% of EEPers agree: they do not give a shit about prom and would prefer people stopped asking.