I'm seriously worried this could be in my future. I think they should write a check (not for the full amount though IMO) and have a SERIOUS conversation about money management, needing a professional to get involved, and stating that this is the last time ever. And then stick to that. And I get where they're coming from with currently remodeling their kitchen so they should write a check to their parents. It's not "doesn't have anything to do with anything" like the one response said. People like these parents usually don't take responsibility for their actions, and see someone else with money to spend, so guilt trip that person about how they "need" more money. I know certain people who would passive aggressively make comments about the kitchen remodel and "how it must have been expensive but it's so nice to get it done...oh it's so sad we/your parents/relatives (depending on who the speaker is) are losing their house/don't have enough to cover the bills/can't get any help from anyone. We would help but we don't have money, let alone money for a kitchen remodel!" So the remodel is signaling the letter writer has "extra" cash laying around, even if he's been diligently saving for years for this. So not sending the check could have serious backlash in certain families. But laying the groundwork to fend off future problems by having a big conversation now is good.
