Author Topic: Mustachianism in the Onion  (Read 1839 times)

FireLane

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Mustachianism in the Onion
« on: October 29, 2017, 07:49:00 PM »
I found a couple of other threads referencing the Onion, but no single thread collecting all their articles that are relevant to FIRE. Here are some of my favorites:

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back
https://www.theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456

Troubling Report Finds Millions Of Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Getting Up And Going To Work Every Day
https://www.theonion.com/troubling-report-finds-millions-of-americans-forced-to-1819580115

Americans Celebrate 10 Millionth 'Bring Yourself To Work Day'
https://www.theonion.com/americans-celebrate-10-millionth-bring-yourself-to-work-1819568773

Find The Thing You're Most Passionate About, Then Do It On Nights And Weekends For The Rest Of Your Life
https://www.theonion.com/find-the-thing-youre-most-passionate-about-then-do-it-1819584843

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer
https://local.theonion.com/all-of-area-mans-hard-work-finally-pays-off-for-employe-1819573184

Report: Nazi Treasure Hunters Following More Realistic Retirement Plan Than 86% Of Country
https://www.theonion.com/report-nazi-treasure-hunters-following-more-realistic-1819577552

Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Retirement To Live Comfortably On Streets
https://www.theonion.com/report-most-americans-have-enough-saved-for-retirement-1819576731

Any classics I've missed?

GreenShirt

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2017, 05:45:26 PM »
Those are awesome and so much fun to read! I've found a couple of others by searching through the forums.

Unambitious Loser With Happy, Fulfilling Life Still Lives In Hometown
https://local.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfilling-life-still-liv-1819575312

Temp Hides Fun, Fulfilling Life From Rest Of Office
https://www.theonion.com/temp-hides-fun-fulfilling-life-from-rest-of-office-1819566599

Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job
https://local.theonion.com/man-returns-to-work-after-vacation-with-fresh-reenergi-1819574342

MrMoneySaver

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2017, 06:04:26 PM »
All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer
https://local.theonion.com/all-of-area-mans-hard-work-finally-pays-off-for-employe-1819573184

Hits a little close to home ...

slipslop

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2017, 09:53:04 PM »
Toyota Recalls 1993 Camry Due To Fact That Owners Really Should Have Bought Something New By Now
https://www.theonion.com/toyota-recalls-1993-camry-due-to-fact-that-owners-reall-1819577805

FireLane

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2017, 08:54:08 AM »
Those are awesome and so much fun to read! I've found a couple of others by searching through the forums.

Unambitious Loser With Happy, Fulfilling Life Still Lives In Hometown
https://local.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfilling-life-still-liv-1819575312

Temp Hides Fun, Fulfilling Life From Rest Of Office
https://www.theonion.com/temp-hides-fun-fulfilling-life-from-rest-of-office-1819566599

These are good ones! I looked again and found another I missed the first time:

Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work
https://www.theonion.com/wild-unattached-twenties-spent-at-work-1819567623

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2017, 05:20:21 PM »
Toyota Recalls 1993 Camry Due To Fact That Owners Really Should Have Bought Something New By Now
https://www.theonion.com/toyota-recalls-1993-camry-due-to-fact-that-owners-reall-1819577805
As an owner of a '95 Corolla, this one hits close to home :)  That's hilarious!

meghan88

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2017, 01:52:59 PM »
https://www.theonion.com/budget-travel-tips-1819592582 is a good one.

There was also one about how the American dollar is so embarrassed about all the crappy stuff it's being used to buy.  It was brilliant.  I think I found it somewhere in the MMM forums.  Can't find it now :-(

By the River

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2017, 01:13:35 PM »
90% of bike accidents can be prevented...
https://www.theonion.com/study-90-of-bike-accidents-preventable-by-buying-car-1820403123

I love the line that people should drive to the gym and use a stationary bike. 

talltexan

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2017, 01:21:09 PM »
https://www.theonion.com/retired-factory-worker-had-no-idea-earnings-from-50s-w-1819576513

This one has been one of my favorites: good luck guarding your intergenerational wealth, guys!

FireLane

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2017, 08:20:49 PM »
https://www.theonion.com/budget-travel-tips-1819592582 is a good one.

There was also one about how the American dollar is so embarrassed about all the crappy stuff it's being used to buy.  It was brilliant.  I think I found it somewhere in the MMM forums.  Can't find it now :-(

I think I found it!

Nationís Money Constantly Disgusted By What Americans Doing With It
https://www.theonion.com/nation-s-money-constantly-disgusted-by-what-americans-d-1819577622

meghan88

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Re: Mustachianism in the Onion
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2017, 11:41:25 AM »
https://www.theonion.com/budget-travel-tips-1819592582 is a good one.

There was also one about how the American dollar is so embarrassed about all the crappy stuff it's being used to buy.  It was brilliant.  I think I found it somewhere in the MMM forums.  Can't find it now :-(

I think I found it!

Nationís Money Constantly Disgusted By What Americans Doing With It
https://www.theonion.com/nation-s-money-constantly-disgusted-by-what-americans-d-1819577622

Ah ... brilliant.  I needed that.  Thanks, you made my day!!