The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

[englyn]

Dunno if this has been linked here before, but even if so, it's worth doing again, for the swearing and the similar point to MMM's Cure Yourself of Tiny Details Exaggeration Syndrome - style posts.


http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

[Faramir]

I liked that a lot.  Thanks for posting.

[FIREby35]

Agreed. Good Post.

[ducky19]

"As my father used to say, 'Fucks don’t grow on trees, Mark.' OK, he never actually said that. But fuck it, pretend like he did."

Classic!

[clarkfan1979]

My wife tells me that I say, "Fuck It" too often. Now I'm never going to stop.

[Zamboni]

I frequently don't give a fuck . . . now if only I could purge my life of most of the people who expect me to care about a bunch of trivial bullshit.

[frontstepdesign]

So, there's a book, and I've just read it, and it's pretty heavy Good Stuff.  I'll take this over to the Book Club section.

[meghan88]

Thanks.  Good read.

[blueberrydude]

Solid.

[Cool Friend]

Good read.  The passage really hit close to home regarding how I conducted my life in my 20s:

In fact, indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they actually give too many fucks. They are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they make none. They hide in a grey emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitied, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.

I've gotten much better at caring less and confronting adversity head-on, though I'm still intimidated by big decisions.  It's a lifelong growing process, I guess.

[okisok]

I just read this last week, when I was on the verge of a panic attack from over-committing myself to volunteer activities. It was an eye-opener, for sure. Now I budget my fucks (or my spoons, or my cares, etc.) to things that truly matter to me.

I also examined WHY i got myself into this mess. After some navel gazing, I realized it's because I want people to think that I'm X and Y. But I already AM those things, and I don't need to wear myself out to prove it! Especially for a cause that has a close connection to an acquaintance, but isn't dear to my heart.

The part about work also resonated with me. How they probably didn't hire you to go to pointless meetings, so just don't go. Use that time to do things that are actually in your job description!

I haven't implemented the family advice yet, except to stop worrying about certain family dynamics that aren't directed at me right now. Time enough for that around the holidays!

Overall great read, and very Mustachian

[actionjackson]

Just finished this book. I'd seen a few people on the plane reading it lately, and just off the cover I expected it would be rather Stoic.

There were some insightful parts of the book for me, and I think it had some good messages about cleansing your life of unhealthy habits - particularly around social media and examining the underlying needs for social recognition from strangers. However I felt it contradicted itself a couple of times, and had a bit of filler that didn't seem on-theme. I think it was very strong in the first few chapters, but started to drag.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

Just finished this book. I'd seen a few people on the plane reading it lately, and just off the cover I expected it would be rather Stoic.

There were some insightful parts of the book for me, and I think it had some good messages about cleansing your life of unhealthy habits - particularly around social media and examining the underlying needs for social recognition from strangers. However I felt it contradicted itself a couple of times, and had a bit of filler that didn't seem on-theme. I think it was very strong in the first few chapters, but started to drag.

I think it was an article spun out to fill a full-length book. I bought a copy based solely on the title, read it, and decided I'd misspent my money.

[actionjackson]

Just finished this book. I'd seen a few people on the plane reading it lately, and just off the cover I expected it would be rather Stoic.

There were some insightful parts of the book for me, and I think it had some good messages about cleansing your life of unhealthy habits - particularly around social media and examining the underlying needs for social recognition from strangers. However I felt it contradicted itself a couple of times, and had a bit of filler that didn't seem on-theme. I think it was very strong in the first few chapters, but started to drag.

I think it was an article spun out to fill a full-length book. I bought a copy based solely on the title, read it, and decided I'd misspent my money.

That's a better way to put it, I think it was an article pushed out to a few chapters, and then a bunch of ad-hoc advice pulled from other sources used for the back half of the book. Then add in a bunch of swearing to pad out the word count.

[Gerard]

I think it was an article pushed out to a few chapters, and then a bunch of ad-hoc advice pulled from other sources used for the back half of the book. Then add in a bunch of swearing to pad out the word count.

To be fair, this sounds like a pretty good strategy for writing a book.

[sokoloff]

Just finished this book. I'd seen a few people on the plane reading it lately, and just off the cover I expected it would be rather Stoic.

There were some insightful parts of the book for me, and I think it had some good messages about cleansing your life of unhealthy habits - particularly around social media and examining the underlying needs for social recognition from strangers. However I felt it contradicted itself a couple of times, and had a bit of filler that didn't seem on-theme. I think it was very strong in the first few chapters, but started to drag.

I think it was an article spun out to fill a full-length book. I bought a copy based solely on the title, read it, and decided I'd misspent my money.

Yes, but even when you decided that, did you give a fuck?

[Johnez]

Wow, essay was awesome. I was hoping the book would have some strategies on *how* not to give a fuck and maybe habits and ideas on getting in the right mindset. Does the book go into any sort of detail there?

It seems the overlying message wasn't actually about not giving a fuck but more along the lines of prioritizing your fucks so you can give a fuck about the important things in life. I'm embarrassed as a 32 year old adult to be petrified of simple situations that to others seem obvious to solve. Giving a fuck about really dumb things gets in the way of important things, how obvious, but sometimes blinded we are...

[Spiffsome]

I really liked the chapters on 'Failure is the Way Forward' and the one about contemplating your own death.

[WhiteTrashCash]

In my experience, the absolute best way to learn how to "not give a fuck" is by eliminating real danger from your life. Getting a lot of money helps with that, because when you have a lot of money, far fewer things can cause you any kind of real problem. Car breaks down? Here's a check for the repair. No stress. Landlord decides to sell the house you are renting. Okay, a new apartment the next day with security deposit. Paycheck delayed by a week due to a payroll error? No problem. Just use a little of the year's worth of emergency fund you have sitting around.

If you get yourself some money, you don't have to care as much about little things, because the little things can't harm you anymore. And you feel much better.