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Article: I was failing at my relationship with money. Here’s what I did

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OtherJen:
I thought this article was refreshing, especially when contrasted with the often ridiculous Money Diaries on Refinery 29. I know this forum is all about facepunches and huge changes, but I admit to being similarly ignorant (often willfully so) about my own finances and a smaller-scale stepwise approach like this was what got me on track.


--- Quote ---I feel silly, honestly. I feel silly that these steps feel like monumental victories. The simple act of saying no to a litany of opportunities to consume and carouse must be so obvious to other people. It’s a straightforward way to save. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’m doing something I never did. I’m thinking about money all the time, and I’m not afraid of it. I check my account balance without feeling like I need to do calming breathing exercises first.
--- End quote ---

I was failing at my relationship with money. Here’s what I did to fix it.

PoutineLover:
I liked that article. It's easy to mock people who spend too much (especially in this forum), but honestly our society makes it so easy to just spend money thoughtlessly and end up in debt. I'm guilty of going out to eat too much or spending too much on clothes or travel, because I don't like saying no to friends and I think of things I "need". Luckily I've never ended up in debt, but I definitely could have saved a lot more. It's nice to see someone changing their whole relationship with spending and ending up way more secure and less anxious about money. Thanks for sharing.

RWD:
Very interesting, thanks for posting. I really think that the psychological hurdles in personal finance are much more difficult for the general populace than the math. Although people like to say they are bad with numbers or they hate math they all understand that you need to spend less than you make or you won't have any money. The tough part is self control and actually looking at where the money is going.

I liked this quote from the article:

--- Quote ---Still, I’ve nurtured a state of being, a personality, of being “broke” for much of my adult life. “I’m just not good with money,” I’ve said, as if that’s a chronic ailment.
--- End quote ---

marty998:
I found this very difficult to read, and not just because of the dark grey text on black background.

The Lyft rides for family, the grocery bills, the spending on accessories, travel, gifts... she'd became accustomed to a lifestyle that until now she couldn't afford. I was burning inside just screaming out "WTF!!!".

I think she gets it, but it's hard to understand why she reverts to old habits when she knows it puts her in difficulty. Self-destructive tendancies seem to be very difficult to overcome.

Good luck to her.

nereo:
Here's what jumped out to me:
“Saving” was always something I knew I was supposed to do but never really understood how to do. No one taught me in high school. Then again, I never really tried to learn when I became an adult. ... “Have you ever made a budget?” my boyfriend once asked me.

I had, kind of. I’ve written down how much money I make and how much money I pay for bills and essentials and then… done absolutely nothing with that information."

Like many, no one taught her basic finances. She mentions high school, but kids should learn how to save well before that. She's responsible for all her actions, but went into the world financially ill-prepared.

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