Author Topic: I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills  (Read 1036 times)

cantgrowone

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I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills
« on: April 01, 2018, 05:56:09 PM »
Hi. I am not a book reader, but I need a recommendation. My social skills are kaput; the conversation part. I can converse 1-on-1 just fine listening and providing words. When I am in a group of 3 or more it is like my mind forgets about words. I listen and follow the conversation, but I can literally provide no input.

Surely there's a book that will guide me through improving social life?
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Zola.

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Re: I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2018, 05:32:02 AM »
What about something about helping you have better conversations with others? Thats bound to help socially etc.

2Cent

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Re: I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2018, 03:59:41 AM »
Hi. I am not a book reader, but I need a recommendation. My social skills are kaput; the conversation part. I can converse 1-on-1 just fine listening and providing words. When I am in a group of 3 or more it is like my mind forgets about words. I listen and follow the conversation, but I can literally provide no input.

Surely there's a book that will guide me through improving social life?
I have the same problem. I feel sometimes the conversation moves too quickly so by the time I formulate my thoughts to respond someone else is talking. It is mostly due to me wanting to think through what I say, but if you also have to listen to multiple people it's just too hard.

The best way I know to practice is choosing conversations with familiar topics and just starting to talk with a generic statement or repeat of something, using the time to think out my words for what I really wanted to say. This mostly works and when it doesn't it's not as awkward as you imagine. At worst you just made an empty statement which everyone will immediately forget. You can even get people to expand on something by just repeating their last 2-3 words as a question.(As a question?) People won't notice and even appreciate it as it shows you care about their thoughts. The main thing I think is to just do it and get the practice. This is not something you can really learn from a book.

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Re: I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2018, 05:16:54 AM »
Hi. I am not a book reader, but I need a recommendation. My social skills are kaput; the conversation part. I can converse 1-on-1 just fine listening and providing words. When I am in a group of 3 or more it is like my mind forgets about words. I listen and follow the conversation, but I can literally provide no input.

Surely there's a book that will guide me through improving social life?

I like your username. ;) There are some good books out there, perhaps the most famous being "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

Personally I'm pretty bad at following the thread of group conversations, and I don't enjoy fancy dinners or pub gatherings where there is nothing but talking and sitting around a cramped table! My strategy around this is to socialize in group activities instead (sports, games, etc.), where talking isn't mandatory and the subject inevitably revolves around the thing you are doing.

Katrina

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Re: I need a book suggestion to improve my social skills
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2018, 11:15:33 AM »
Most peoples favorite subject is themselves, even if they don't think so.  "I" is one of the most common words in the English language.   Just ask people questions about themsleves without being creepy or prying.  Like the old saying interesting  is interested.  Start simple  like their job or where their  from.  Compliments are always good too. 

Also I agree with the other post How To Win Friends and Influence People  by Dale Carnegie is excellent.  Read it then read it again.  Good luck.