What to know about flying long-haul with infant?

[dreamer8887]

Hi everyone,

DH and I are traveling with our 4.5 month old on a 4 hour flight + 2 hour stopover + 15 hour flight next week. We have both traveled internationally frequently, but never with a baby. We want to make sure we're doing all we can to minimize disruption to DD and her fellow travelers.

We're also trying to hit that sweet spot between our usual minimalist packing, and making sure we're well prepared for DD's needs.

I'm looking for your travel hacks and advice. I also have some specific questions:

- we have requested a bassinet for the 15 hour flight, and based on our seat assignment have been allocated one (yay!) Do we need to bring a mattress protector and/or sheet for the bassinet? [I am aware they can only be used when at altitude - we'll also have a ring sling for takeoff/landing that worked well on our last domestic flight]

- we need to bring our car-seat with us, which we'll check for free. Do we need to bubble wrap this or something else to protect it on its journey? Whatever we do has to be done at the airport, as we're a single family and thus single carseat family.

- also want to bring our stroller, as it's a 3 week trip to a hot climate so prefer to have her in a stroller than always in a baby carrier (although I think we'll pack a sling too). Do these usually get checked at the gate? Anything we need to do to prep for that? Do we get it back in between flights for our layover?

- baby is exclusively breastfed. Keeping in mind I'm trying to pack light, would you bring some formula powder/bottle for plane just in case I get sick or something stops me from being able to feed? Once we're at destination, will buy if needed, just thinking about the flight here.

[baby has flown before and didn't have any issues on that occasion with nursing, or with the altitude change...could be different this time obviously]

- for her carry-on, this is what we're planning to bring for baby: 2-3 light blankets, 2 spare outfits (one and done sleepsuits), a few board books (to help keep her occupied, she loves reading time), a small "quiet book" (cloth book, doesn't make any noises), a chew toy, twice as many diapers as she would usually use in that time, wipes/changing pad, hat (planes get cold), sleeping bag (ditto), lightweight sling in case we need to pace the aisles getting her asleep. That sounds like a lot! Anything else? [she doesn't take a pacifier...maybe will bring one in case we get desperate to try something]

I realize I sound pessimistic, haha, my family members have all flown longer distances with multiple babies so I know this is easily doable with two of us, just want to make sure I'm as prepared as possible for worst-case scenarios.

Thanks in advance.

Oh by the way because I found it interesting, this article (http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/11/29/study_shows_quality_of_time_between_dad_and_child_is_more_important_than.html) Agree with its point that parents should do what they reasonably can to minimize disruption to others, but also that I shouldn't stress too much if (when?) she fusses/cries on occasion on this flight, as long as I'm doing my best to calm her. She needs to be on this flight to see her grandparents!

[sokoloff]

If you've bought a seat for her, you can strap the car seat into that and that makes it a little more confining (and secure/normal feeling) for DD. Tip: ask the flight attendant for a seatbelt extension. Makes it 1000x easier.

If you haven't, you can gate check them (and pickup on the jetway) or regular check them. When we regular checked ours, we did put into a big zipper-closed bag, but it's unclear that was needed. Don't fool with bubble wrap. If the car seat was that fragile, it wouldn't be a car seat. ;)

For a two leg trip with a layover, regular check the seat so you don't need to deal with it in the middle airport(except perhaps if you have a need to handle for customs).

The other thing to manage is their ears. Nursing or bottle feeding on descent is helpful. We flew a few commercial flights and the kids did well. To some extent, you prepare and take what you get. Don't overly stress about a little crying. Infants cry. So what?

The other tip I'd give is if it's international and you have a choice, only land at your final destination in the US. I take great pains to not clear customs in NYC and then fly domestic to Boston, but rather try to land and clear in Boston. Just too much delays and aggravations clearing and then re-boarding domestic IME.

[MayDay]

You can buy a carseat bag at BRU. Might be worth it if you travel a lot.

SW lost our booster seat, and my boss had her carseat arrive covered in fuel. We luckily had a spare booster at our destination, but my boss had to sit at the airport with her baby throwing a fit until the airline found her a new carseat.

Having a seat for our babies/toddlers was super helpful. They would sleep in the regular carseat, but out of it the airplane was way too fun and different. Totally depends on the kid.

You can gate check the stroller or check it through to destination. We had a small umbrella stroller that we tended to gate check. If one of us was wearing the baby, we pike all our crap in the stroller.  And we usually gate checked the carseat as they will give baby a free seat if the flight is undersold. But it's useless if you don't have the carseat with you.

[farmerj]

I remember the first time I flew my 8 month old internationally. He was exceptionally well behaved throughout the flight as long as someone constantly amused him. Emphasis on constant, since he barely slept at all.

Somewhere around hour 19 of constant baby-amusement during our 24-hour trip I remember thinking that this was the *worst* experience I had ever had.

Return trip was not so bad, and a second trip a few years later w/ a now older boy and the newer model baby was also not as dreadful an  experience. Still sucked, though.

- we have requested a bassinet for the 15 hour flight, and based on our seat assignment have been allocated one (yay!) Do we need to bring a mattress protector and/or sheet for the bassinet?

Korean Air used standard airline blankets for this purpose; no need to bring something.

also want to bring our stroller, as it's a 3 week trip to a hot climate so prefer to have her in a stroller than always in a baby carrier (although I think we'll pack a sling too). Do these usually get checked at the gate? Anything we need to do to prep for that? Do we get it back in between flights for our layover?

For us, strollers were checked at the gate and returned for the layover.

Get a small battery operated fan (or mister + fan). I think there are some one can even attach it to a stroller (though when we made the journey to somewhere hot and third-worldy our kids were large and coordinated enough that this wasn't an option, since they'd just have grabbed and eaten it).

[ysette9]

I think k you might be going over-kill on the sleeping bag in addition to the blankets. Air planes aren't THAT cold. You know your baby though.
When I traveled with my 4-month old I brought individually-packaged sets of earplugs to offer to those siting around us. We didn't do it, it good advice I heard is to also bring some little chocolates or candies. Offer chocolate plus earplugs to everyone around you before the flight takes off as a preemptive way to build goodwill with the people who will listen to you little person cry. ;)

I skipped the bottle nonsense and had no problem with just nursing. Baby wearing was The Best. I wish I had rough more toys since mine got bored and we had to do lots of walking up and down the aisles to keep her happy.

[KCM5]

Do you usually bring a set of clothes for the adults in a carry on, too? I don't normally, but when travelling with small baby I do. You never know what will happen :)

They provides sheets for the bassinets.

You may not be able to hold the baby in the sling during takeoff and landing, just an fyi. Some airlines require that you simply hold the baby in arms.

I wouldn't bother with bringing formula. On a 24 hour trip, really what are the chances that you'll spontaneously be unable to feed the child what you've been feeding him/her for their entire life?

If you gate check the stroller you'll get it back between flights.

I've never checked a carseat, so can't help you there, but I have brought them on the plane. You may want to bring the carseat to the gate with you to ascertain whether there are enough extra seats on the plane that your baby can use. Then you could actually install the carseat in the seat and the baby will be comfortable there. Get the gate check tag for the carseat and the stroller when you check in. With only one layover to deal with the carseat for, I'd rather risk carrying it unnecessarily for a couple of hours because I like the extra security provided by the carseat while flying. If there aren't any extra seats, then you're not out much, just a bit of effort.

When we traveled when our baby was young enough to be a lap baby, we had between 3 and 5 layovers each way per trip. It really was fine. You'll be fine!

The best carseat I've found for flying is the Cosco Scenera. It's really light and easy to install. Also, only $40.

I wouldn't bother with the chocolate/earplugs. But maybe I just don't care about the goodwill of my fellow passengers enough :) Everyone was kind, and we often were given an extra free seat for the baby/gear. People would even try to rearrange themselves to fit us (maybe to get away from the cute baby!?). Ha. There was very little crying for everyone involved. It was fine.

Edited to add:

How long are you staying on your trip? We once did a 6 day trip with our 9 month old that was a 7 hour time difference. The baby did not change time zones. Just something to be prepared for.

Once she was older (18 months?) she changed time zones just fine. Probably easier than we did.

[ysette9]

Did you buy an extra seat for your baby? If not, all the talk about the career changes a lot. We borrowed a big backpack bag for the car est which protects it and dramatically helps carrying the sucker through the airport.

[englishteacheralex]

One thing about the bassinet: be prepared for the flight attendants looking at you as though you are crazy when you ask for it once you board. We had to be pretty pushy to get our bassinet to happen. I wasn't backing down: I had paid an extra $100 for a bulkhead seat so that we could have one. The first flight attendant said they didn't do bassinets anymore and I told her I had called several times to reserve one and been told they were absolutely available. She disappeared. Then I asked another flight attendant, who seemed to know what I was talking about and finally got the thing installed.

They wouldn't let me use it whenever the seat belt light was on. I also had to take my baby OUT of the carrier when the seatbelt light was on and hold him on my lap. This was on a United flight. Pretty irritating.

[brycedoula]

While I haven't traveled with my baby, several of my mum friends have. Here are some things they have mentioned:

-In addition to checking the car seat for free, you should also be able to check a playpen/playard for free (the rationale being that your baby needs a safe place to sleep AND and a safe way to travel in a car). Double-check with your airlines(s) ahead of time.
-Some airlines provide a bag to put your seat or stroller in, others don't. So bring your own, just in case.
-If the airline loses your seat, they are required to provide you with a BRAND NEW,  IN-THE-BOX, UNOPENED car seat. Not identical to the one you lost, but a seat nonetheless. And if/when you get your original seat back you can sell the [practically] new car seat (how Mustachian!).
-Bring some new (or new-to-her) toys for the flight. If she gets tired with her favourites then surprise! Here's a new one that she's never seen before!

[Poundwise]

quick tips...
- nurse while the plane is going up and while it is going down. Will help baby's ears adjust.  Worked a treat for my kids.
- in the airport, use your stroller to carry your the horribly heavy carseat, and wear your baby. 
- I'd get bags for stroller and carseat. You can usually gate check the stroller, but check with the airline
- bring a few single-serve packets of formula powder and one bottle, just in case

I'd much rather travel international with a 4.5 month old than an older baby!

[cats]

As others have said, no need for sheets or mattresses for the bassinet.  We did bring a particularly warm set of sleep clothes for baby on a long-haul flight earlier this year, he seemed pretty happy with that.  In retrospect, bringing one blanket might have been a good idea, to create a bit of a "screen" over the bassinet if we wanted him to sleep while the airplane was light.  Not sure if this really would have worked, but the baby next to us on the return flight sure seemed happy with hers...

I did not bother with formula, and for a 4.5 month old I wouldn't bother either--your supply should be well established at this point, so just make sure you stay well hydrated and you should be good to go.

I know you said your baby does not take a pacifier but it might be worth packing one given how small they are, I've noticed when we fly that the pacifier sometimes seems to work better than nursing during takeoff/landing.

Aside from that, no advice, just good luck!

[KS]

You can check your stroller/carseat for free, and either of them can be checked at the counter or at the gate, depending on your preference. We ended up getting a great deal on a backpack-style carseat bag, so we loaded carseat/base into that and checked it at the counter, just brought the stroller to the gate so we had less to carry. (We did get our daughter a seat but she was ~10 months old and would not have done well in carseat for a 10-11 hour flight so we didn't want to bring it on the plane and have it take up her seat.) Bonus to checking the carseat this way: we got to fill up the rest of the carseat bag with other stuff, mostly extra diapers and such, and essentially got one more free checked bag out of it. Her portable crib was not free on our airline, but it was fine as her seat came with a checked bag allowance so that was her "bag."

4.5 months would be a pretty great age to travel long distance, in hindsight. Really the less mobile they are/want to be, the better. Agree with previous posters about having one or two toys she hasn't seen before. If you wrap in a bit of tissue paper it may extend the entertainment value a little since she can unwrap it first and play with the paper. Also, don't underestimate the value of EVERYTHING on the plane being a potential new toy. Our first (short, 1.5hr) flight with our daughter at around 5 months, she was quite happy playing with the crinkly wrapper from our bag of peanuts and the safety info card the whole time. We felt silly about all the stuff we packed for her to play with! Bring a few disinfecting wipes to clean anything she's likely to get her hands and mouth on, which will be everything within reach.

I've heard the bassinets are a big help, but our daughter was too big for it when we took her so can't speak from experience. We did use the airline blankets to build a little dark tent over her to help her sleep and feel less like she needed to be looking around at everything when it was bedtime.

Biggest suggestion: leave yourself lots and lots of time for getting through the airport, and do your best to relax and take things in stride. Baby will for sure poop, or get hungry, or whatever, right when you're in a hurry to get to your gate. If you've left enough time, you'll be more able to stop for a second and meet baby's needs as they come up and that will go a long way to keeping her content along the way. And the more relaxed her parents are, the more likely it is that she'll stay calm and relatively well behaved! And we've been pleasantly surprised at how awesome all our fellow travelers were on all our trips, people really do understand it's not easy flying with a baby, and they tend to be pretty nice about it even if the kid does cry.

[GizmoTX]

We always bought a plane seat for DS & we did a lot of flights, starting when he was 4 months old. His carseat was FAA approved, & we always used it in the airline seat. It helped that it was a Sit'n'Stroll that converted from a carseat to a stroller & back again. DS was so comfortable strapped in his carseat & mostly slept. We were a lot more comfortable & happier too. Later on, when DS was a toddler, we packed little surprises that he opened during the flight to play with. His booster seat was also FAA approved & went on the plane.

[dreamer8887]

Thank you to everyone for your replies, they're all very helpful!

I think we will check the carseat to avoid lugging it through the airplane. We have the bassinet for the long haul, and it seems unlikely there'll be spare seats on the short haul flight at this time of year (it's a Saturday flight) plus she's small enough that holding her for 4 hours is do-able.

My sisters mentioned bringing some acetaminophen (fever reducer) in case of on-board emergency. I would hate to be stuck without it if a fever came on - unlikely but possible.

I just tried packing all the things we want for her and they fit in a smallish tote bag so I think we'll be OK. We'll put our things (Kindles, headphones) in husband's backpack.

Great suggestion on using the car-seat bag to stuff a few extras in. I have plans to make a canvas cover-bag/holder for the car-seat this week before we leave, maybe I'll make some extra pouches that can be cinched to the carseat inside the holder and then our main suitcase (we're trying to just bring one for all three of us - it's a 3 week vacation but to Australia so it'll be hot so don't need bulky clothes) will hopefully not be over the weight limit.

I will post back here if I get around to making the carseat cover to report how it works. You can buy them on Amazon for $15 which is probably less than the fabric will cost but I don't have Prime and I'm not sure it will get here in time. Poor planning on my part.

[sokoloff]

Plenty of people do have Prime, including me, but I suspect you know someone who does. The last thing I'd be doing leading up to a trip is adding a crafts project to my agenda. :) Feel free to send a PM if you want to get something on Prime. There's also a free trial of Prime available I think.

Another thing we do with our parents is to buy some of our supplies and have them sent directly to their house. We stashed diapers there and we've also staged car seats there. (Often, we'd buy the "next size" car seat to a grandparents' house and then swap them.) I'm guessing you won't be back/forth to Australia often enough to make that make sense, though.

[jexy103]

Posting to follow. Dreamer, thanks for asking this question, and thanks to everyone who responded! DH and I are expecting our first in late February, with an international move planned for 8-12 weeks later (military, currently stationed overseas). All your responses will be super helpful- especially the one about stuffing diapers in the car seat bag!

[Schnurr]

Just don't count on getting your stroller back during your layover. For us, it's been about 50-50... several times our gate-checked stroller was not brought up to the jetway and instead just came out with the checked luggage at the final destination. Another time we found the gate-checked strollers sitting unattended several hundred feet inside the terminal building. Some airports also have courtesy strollers, but I definitely would not count on this, particularly in the U.S.

Other than that, don't worry too much. Our first long-haul flight went very well, and our daughter was exactly the same age as your child. She slept most of the way in the bassinet. One of the flight attendants was "annoyed" because she was constantly sleeping and they wanted to hold her :) Now flying with her around 12 months was a totally different story...

I would also not bring chocolates or other treats for those sitting around you, but it's up to you. Expect eye-rolls from the other parents on the flight though! My philosophy is that when we are in a place where it is legal and appropriate for my child to be (which would include an airplane's economy class), she has as much of a right to be there as anyone else. I will do my best to be an attentive parent and try to minimize her impact on others, but in the end babies cry sometimes. Everyone on that plane used to be a baby at one point. If people can't show some compassion and be decent human beings (and once we have sat in front of a real b*tch), bribing them with some chocolate isn't going to help.

[hunniebun]

I was going to suggest a little medical type kit with baby gravol, tylanol, and benadryl (who knows what they could be allergic to at this age!!). I also suggest bringing lysol wipes to the clean your area and prevent the spread of germs (I do this even when it is just mean...for the tables arm rests etc!)

As for the bottles, will the baby take one now?  It seems like a lot to pack space wise for just in case! 

Have a wonderful trip!!!

[firelight]

Great tips! The one that helped us most was to leave ourselves a lot of time getting through airport security because TSA checked a lot of baby stuff thoroughly.

Another thing which helped us was to have one parent rest while the other was on duty. This way, there was always one parent well rested enough to deal with a crying baby.

Don't bother with chocolates and rear plugs. We've found people that get irritated will do so regardless of all these niceties and it was just a waste of time.

Medical kit and extra clothes for adults helped us through a lot. And trust me, kids find everything to be a toy on airplanes!! Relax and have fun!!

[JustTrying]

I flew alone on international flights with my little one when she was just 2 months old. Total flight time not including layovers was ~12 hours each way. It went wonderfully well.

You are definitely bringing way more stuff than I did, but I was traveling alone, so I didn't bring a car seat or a stroller which greatly reduced my load.

No, I would not bring formula. I can't figure out what could possibly happen other than death that would prevent you from nursing. And if you die I bet another nursing mother would nurse your baby for you. But also, a baby will survive without milk for a flight if you die. But really, you won't die.

HERE'S MY BIG TIP: Consider using a diaper cover over disposable diapers! (Like the kind that are used with prefolds for cloth diapering). If your kid has a blow-out on the plane, the cover will keep the poo in so you won't have to deal with outfit changes. We normally cloth diaper, so I was absolutely shocked the first time I traveled with my baby and she had a blow out because she was in a disposable (cloth diapers keep the poo contained). I was then super super scared to take her on a plane alone because I was scared she'd have another blow out, ruining her clothes and my clothes. I panicked for awhile and then came up with the diaper cover solution. It worked like a charm! I used the Thirstie's Duo cover on my baby.

It will be fine!

[dreamer8887]

Thanks for all these awesome tips! We leave tomorrow night. After much debate, we decided to get the bus to the airport and leave the carseat at home as it turna out my parents have one at our destination we can use. We also decided to leave the stroller behind and use our Lillebaby in the airport, and my dad bought us a second hand $20 stroller at destination which he can use for other visiting grandkids. I did end up sewing a carseat cover when we weren't sure, glad to have that for future tips.

I am bringing formula and one bottle because although I agree the baby won't starve if I die (!) That's not really the emergency I'm catering for :) It's more that I had severe BF issues for most of her life and occasionally it flares up again and BF gets really painful. I also know when I'm tired my supply might run low. I don't want her to be hungry if any of those things make it hard to nurse. Agree I wouldn't bother for a shorter flight, but this one is as long as they get!

We plan to be at airport 3 hours before departure and enjoy some family time relaxing at the lounge.

I'll report back :)