Author Topic: Swaddle Help!?  (Read 4978 times)

James!

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Swaddle Help!?
« on: April 17, 2015, 08:45:44 AM »
I need some advice in the world of swaddling.

Our son is 13 weeks old. For a while he loved being swaddled. He'd fight it for 2 seconds but then pass right out.

Lately, he seems really bothered by it. We were swaddling just in swaddle blankets, but he's big enough now he always seems to kick out. We've tried various versions of the swaddle sacks with zippers, Velcro, etc. but if they're tight he gets really pissed and freaks out, and won't go to sleep, and if they're remotely loose he gets out.

Help!

How do you know when to stop swaddling, and if I'm not there yet, any advice on what to do? I've tried the super swaddle or Houdini or whatever it's called, where first you wrap his arms and tuck that one underneath, and he still fights it like crazy and gets out.

I don't think he can be swaddle free, because if we put him down like that, he just flails and squirms and startles/hits himself.

Also, he regularly wakes up for the day at like 3 or 4am and is just grunting and squirming. Not crying, but just awake and trying to break free of the swaddle.

He's sleeping in our room, in a co-sleeper adjacent to the bed, and we can't/aren't going to change that for at least a month. (House guests in the guest room).


Cheers,
James

Mississippi Mudstache

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2015, 09:21:52 AM »
Wish I could help. Both of our kids loved being swaddled well past 13 weeks. My wife always had me do it, because she couldn't/wouldn't swaddle them tight enough.

Good luck. I always found the first 4-6 months to be the hardest, especially with sleeping. Our kids were terrible sleepers until well past a year. We had to figure out sleeping schedules on our own. My wife read every book around and tried every piece of advice, and the only thing that really worked was waiting it out. Stay strong, you'll make it through.

justajane

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2015, 09:32:13 AM »
Have you tried swaddling just one arm? We did that for a while when our child was fighting the swaddle. It wasn't perfect, but it minimized the flailing at least a little bit.

It sucks, but eventually they have to get out of the swaddle, and they tend to sleep worse at that point. I have to admit that two of our kids we swaddled until over six months, but once they got their arms out at night, we let them stay out. We just used the swaddle to get them to sleep originally.

Our third son was super strong and hated the swaddle from day one. I have to say it has been a relief not to bother with it. It was a pain to change a swaddled kid in the middle of the night. Our third hasn't slept any better necessarily, but it was one less thing to worry about.


pksr

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2015, 09:56:09 AM »
I think you may be past the point of swaddling. Our second let slip his bonds at about two weeks, and after that we gave up trying. He was restless / flailing like yours, but that seemed to settle down fairly quickly. The main benefit of swaddling seems to be to make them feel snuggly / secure and thereby sleep better, and that doesn't seem to be the case with yours.

Our pediatrician was fine with that - his guide is here (search "swaddle"): http://www.thefunplace.com/guild/newborn01.html

My acid test for baby stuff has always been: would a caveman / cavebaby been OK? I don't think any cavepeople swaddled, so for most of our 100-200K years we've been just fine without it.

Good luck!

James!

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2015, 10:11:16 AM »
I'd love to think we're past it, but if we try putting him down without it, he just flails and squirms and startles himself awake.

My wife said she's going to try one arm out for the naps today, so we'll see how that goes. In general day naps seem to be going better than overnight.

Ugh, if anything just knowing this is common is great consolation. We just have to ride it out!

-J

lakemom

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2015, 12:23:18 PM »
Most of mine were passed the swaddle stage by 3 months old.  One of the six still preferred swaddling until he was about 5 months but he was 6 weeks early to start with.  I'd say try a few nights without and see how the little one does.

hunniebun

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2015, 12:28:04 PM »
My youngest LOVED being swaddled for sleep and we did it until 5 months (with those sleep sacs with the swaddle blanket attached)...but same thing..she would break free and then sleep terribly because she would keep smacking herself and twitching and waking up. Finally, we gave up the swaddle cold turkey...it was 4 nights of sleepless hell, soothing/nursing every two hours...but she did get used to it pretty quickly all things considered and went back to her normal sleep routine (which to this day is to wake up at least once or twice, but better than every two hours!).

Good luck!!!

nessness

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2015, 03:51:25 PM »
I haven't used it myself, but I've heard really good things about the Magic Merlin sleepsuit for transitioning babies out of the swaddle.

DD was swaddled until she was rolling back to front, at which point we went to a one-arm swaddle, then no-arms. She's 6 months now and she still likes to be swaddled arms-out in a Halo swaddle sack; I think the snug feeling on her chest is comforting.

Flyingkea

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2015, 04:37:44 PM »
My little Houdini needed the escape proof swaddle too. He would escape in about 2-3 seconds otherwise and then repeatedely smack himself in the face, but when he was about 3 months old, he stopped needing it. For the first couple of days, it was a little harder, and we fought over needing it, but eventually he prevailed and I stopped swaddling him. Sounds like you might be approaching that point too. Maybe try not swaddling for some naps, and swaddle for big sleeps?

TheDude

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2015, 10:15:59 PM »
Ha ive been there and it sucks. My son did that for about 6 weeks until we discovered the hack a miracle blanket method. Here is a blog post my wife wrote about it. http://gropethechaos.blogspot.com/2011/05/baby-gods.html

watch the video and give it a try it was seriously life changing for us.

James!

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2015, 11:58:15 AM »
Ugh. Thanks for all the thoughts and suggestions.

Last night was possibly the worst night we've ever had? It's 11am now, and he's been awake since 3am. He's had a few short shitty naps, but otherwise just losing his mind. This is not normal.

Unfortunately I've tried the super swaddle, double swaddle, miracle swaddle, one arm out, both arms out, sleep sac, burrito sac, and they all suck for this little dude. He is just pissed all of a sudden!

I'm really hoping this is just some sort of developmental transition because this week has been so much worse than anything prior. We have been sticking to a routine, following the happy baby suggestions, naps, etc. whatever nothing works.

I am a zombie and he is so sad, this sucks.

Cheers,
James

justajane

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2015, 03:19:10 PM »
Perhaps he is experiencing the 4 month sleep regression slightly early?
http://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression/

Will he sleep in your arms? If so, I would try that. I'm not suggesting you sleep with him in your arms -- that's not terribly safe -- but at least he could get some sleep that way.

Pssst, don't tell anyone, but all three of my kids napped in my arms for the entire first year. Yup. It's true. I have an 11 month old, and he has never napped during the day anywhere but in my or someone else's arms, except at the daycare facility where he takes naps in a moving swing.

That's another thing you could try - a swing.

Sorry you're going through this. All my kids were/are terrible sleepers. Just terrible. No, really terrible, i.e. waking 4 or more times a night for the whole damned first year. My first kid woke up 10+ times a night from the time he was 12 weeks old until he was over six months. It sucked.

I say this not to discourage you. What we experienced is extremely unusual. Most kids have setbacks and then sleep again. The point is that even people who had shitty ass sleepers still manage to see the other side. My oldest kid now sleeps like a dream at six years old. Eventually they all sleep, usually by the age of one or even earlier.

Magpie

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2015, 06:12:11 PM »
Second the swing idea.  It's not ideal to let your child sleep in a swing, but at this point you all need rest.  My 2nd child was a horrible sleeper but he would sleep for longer stretches in the swing.  I'd rock him to sleep in my arms and then gently put him in the swing and keep my hands on him for 5-10 minutes while he transitioned to a deeper sleep.  Yes, it was a pain but it helped.  Good luck to you and keep in mind that sleep deprivation is a very effective torture technique so keep on trying to find what works in your situation.

Flyingkea

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2015, 11:10:31 PM »
Ouch, that sucks, it really does.
A couple of ideas - have you read the wonder weeks? He might be going through a leap, which can lead to crying, clingy and cranky babies.
Could he be teething? My LO started early, and before we figured out what was wrong, he was a very unhappy camper. (5 months of teething later and STILL nothing gggrrrrr).
You said you can't co-sleep due to your heavy sleeping/night terrors, which is more than fair enough, but could you attach a 'side car' to your bed, so he's very closeby instead? It's kinda like a cot, but with one side removed.

historienne

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2015, 03:12:21 AM »
Several friends who went through this swear by the Merlin sleep suit.  It provides an intermediary stage between fully swaddled and totally free - the baby has more freedom of movement, but their movements are 'muffled' a bit so they are less likely to wake themselves up.  Not cheap, but look around on Craigslist, local facebook swap sites, etc and I bet you can find one for a reasonable price, then sell it off in a few months to another desperate family.

hunniebun

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #15 on: April 20, 2015, 08:19:50 AM »
Sorry your little one is not cooperating.  I am sure it is just one of those weird baby phases that they grow through just to torture their parents. My LO was also a frequent waker in the night and an early riser...5 am for almost a year.  I have learned there is no explaining it...the best way to cope is to just go with the flow and know that it will get better eventually.  I used to tell myself that sleep was for the weak :)   Take care of yourselves and hang in there. 

James!

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2015, 09:10:46 AM »
Perhaps he is experiencing the 4 month sleep regression slightly early?
http://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression/

Will he sleep in your arms? If so, I would try that. I'm not suggesting you sleep with him in your arms -- that's not terribly safe -- but at least he could get some sleep that way.

Pssst, don't tell anyone, but all three of my kids napped in my arms for the entire first year. Yup. It's true. I have an 11 month old, and he has never napped during the day anywhere but in my or someone else's arms, except at the daycare facility where he takes naps in a moving swing.

That's another thing you could try - a swing.

Sorry you're going through this. All my kids were/are terrible sleepers. Just terrible. No, really terrible, i.e. waking 4 or more times a night for the whole damned first year. My first kid woke up 10+ times a night from the time he was 12 weeks old until he was over six months. It sucked.

I say this not to discourage you. What we experienced is extremely unusual. Most kids have setbacks and then sleep again. The point is that even people who had shitty ass sleepers still manage to see the other side. My oldest kid now sleeps like a dream at six years old. Eventually they all sleep, usually by the age of one or even earlier.

OMG that link. That is exactly to a T the behavior that we are going through! Thank you!

It doesn't solve the problem, but at least we know that it's typical and we just have to ride it out. Yesterday was a little better. Unfortunately now I'm full-blown sick, so I've been quarantined...

Thanks all for the support.

Cheers,
James

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Re: Swaddle Help!?
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2015, 10:13:00 AM »
Yup, we recently went through that same regression (our girl is almost 7 mo old).  Here are a few thoughts:
1) (I sound like a broken record, but) get the baby away from your bed.  You wake up the baby with your movements/grunting/snoring/talking in your sleep, and the baby wakes you up with her movements/coos/snoring/sleepy giggling.  Our baby sleeps in our closet, with the door closed.  Close enough that we can hear her if she starts crying, but isolated enough that every rustle and stir and murmur doesn't wake us up.
2) Our girl starts swaddled to go to sleep, but eventually wiggles her way out, which is fine.  A lot of times, if she wakes in the middle of the night, I'll just put her pacifier back in, put a hand on one cheek and one on her stomach for a moment (so it's kinda like being snuggled without picking her up), and she settles right back down.