Valentine's Day gifts/cards in 1-2 year old daycare room: what is the point?

[hiker_girl]

In my area, it seems common for kids to give out Valentine's Day cards to their classmates. I was really surprised, though, when daycare told parents in every class that, if they wanted, they could bring Valentine's Day cards for their classmates. My toddler is in the 1-2 year old room and got the following:
- A couple of character cards with the other kid's name
- A note from a mom sharing her contact info and an invitation for a playdate
- A bottle of bubble solution

4 of the 10 kids in the class gave out something for V-Day.

While I appreciate the gestures, I'm still a little stumped as to the point of V-Day gifts and cards for 1-2 year olds. I'd like to model appropriate friendliness/social relationship development for my child, and would like to be prepared for the next couple of years when she is age 2/3/4 and Valentine's Day rolls around. 

[driftwood]

Not really sure that there's really any point to kids that young doing Valentine's Day things.

But "- A note from a mom sharing her contact info and an invitation for a playdate"  This one is awesome! Our schools can't share parent contact info, so if you want to link up with any of your kids' classmates' parents, you have to go full stalker.  Maybe park by the school, watch for the particular child to come out and get picked up, and then chase them down after school, or try to find/message them on FB, etc. Or give your child a note with your contact info and have them get it to the other kid... and hope it makes it to a parent so that you can actually connect. Our school also restricts bday invitations to the whole class, or nobody... so yet another obstacle to connecting with your kids' friends' parents.

I'd like to plan play dates for my kids with the kids they go to school with and like, but finding a way to actually connect with the parents isn't easy.

[Captain FIRE]

Yeah my 21-month old daughter got a handful of cards, 2 pop its, 1 rubber duck "I'm a lucky duck to have you" from a teacher, 1 pair of sunglasses, and maybe? a crayon heart.  There were enough I felt like we might have been the only ones not to share and felt a bit bad about it.

We didn't give anything.  I didn't figure people were doing it in her room unless they had leftover cards from older siblings.  Her older brother's room had Friendship Day tomorrow, so I also thought I had until then to send in the leftover cards.  Oops, no.

We didn't do cards with my son either until he turned 3.  Then pandemic age 4 I didn't think people wanted to touch other peoples stuff (he got very few cards).  This year I scrambled to pull out the leftover cards, discovered I was a few shy and suggested he use some he has in a Valentine's Day book.  He wasn't keen on it but fortunately my MIL found some yesterday for him - last ones in the store (she checked a few too).  Bonus of 50% off going the day after Valentine's Day.

Warning that they start upping the ante as they get older.  A friend did yo yos and slap bracelets for her school aged kids. 

[driftwood]

Last year my son's (8yo at the time) class made valentines and put them on the wall... so everyone could see them but there wasn't a mass of cards (and potentially COVID) being passed around. My son made 4-5 for others... and received none. He was kinda bummed about it.

My daughter's (5 yo) class put the expectation out early... if you're going to send any, send valentines for everyone, no names. At first I thought it was kind of odd, but then I realized that if you take a 21 person class, and each person brought in 20 named valentines, then the teacher is sorting 400 cards, OR taking class time for the students to hand them out or put them in the correct box. So generic cards make sense... just make sure everyone gets one of each and you're covered.

Like inflated birthdays, these things are only now a big deal because some parents have turned it into a big deal. Which makes those of us who don't really think much about things like this seem to be really stingy or selfish.

[CNM]

My 3 year old's school has a policy of no candy and no store bought Valentines.  So, I cut out a bunch of red paper hearts and she spent an evening putting various stickers all over them.  She was pretty happy to pass out Valentines and say "Happy Valentine's Day" to her classroom teachers and friends.  That's it - Doing an art project and giving to others was the point.

My 9 year old, in 4th grade, did not have a Valentine's Day party or anything and I don't think he gave or received any cards or candy.  The PTA had a fundraiser where you could send a candy gram with a note to anyone in the school for $2.  The candy was 2 Starburst candies.  I bought one for each of his teachers because I would like to be surprised with a little candy at work, too!

[former player]

Oh dear dog, is there no escape?

It's indoctrination of the worst kind into a consumerist version of "love", and now there'll be another 15 years of the same kind of crap inflicted on those poor children - for whom the whole point of childhood should be not having to suffer these adult social pressures. Not that adults should have to suffer them either, of course.

And how is a kid that's indoctrinated in this way expected to protect themselves against being groomed by a paedophile who frames their abuse as "love", when they've been indoctrinated into "love" by their school.  And probably also by well-meaning relatives and friends of their parents who can think of nothing better to say to a kid than "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?", starting from toddlehood.

Fucking Valentine's Day.  Also fucking Mother's Day and fucking Father's Day and any other Day that's all about selling pieces of coloured card and some hot-house flowers flown in from a third world country that's drowning in the chemicals needed to keep those flowers "perfect".

[iris lily]

The point is to indoctrinate young Americans in pointless gift giving and silly Hallmark traditions to feed corporations that churn out the stuff. To set up expectations of receiving cheap crap from
China that will carry them through a lifetime.

Remember there are also moms out there who love to shop. They just love it. So any excuse to shop is a good good excuse.

Edited to add: I see former player already said it. I didn’t need to. But yeah.

Personally, I like Valentine’s Day because it is ONEDAY. It follows on the heels of (what seems like) 95 days of Christmas/Holiday.  I like everything to be red and pink, So the color theme is great. But that said, we do very little for it in my household. I cooked a  special dinner for DH because I didn’t get him a gift. He got me garden gloves and trowels for the spring season. Plus chocolate. But it is very low-key and very very cheap here.

[CNM]

Is indoctrination the point?  I think the point is to have a little bit of joy and kindness.  I don't like garbage toys either, but my toddler liked making some sticker collages and she enjoyed giving them out. One can celebrate Valentine's Day without Hallmark and without giving cheap crap. Seems harmless to me.

[okits]

It's an optional, friendly gesture.  The toddler receiving a Valentine may be pleased to get a card with a cartoon character on it and to be part of the celebration of the day (even if you don't celebrate at home they may see friends or classmates celebrating and like to feel included).

If the toddler has older siblings who are bringing home a big bag of Valentines, it's nice if the littler kid has a few, too.

Like I said, it's optional.  I'm not a fan of the bags of dollar store crap that get given out sometimes.  I buy packs of cards on clearance after Feb 14 so it costs a few bucks a year.  If any of the recipients (of any age) feel thought of or cared for then I think it's worthwhile.