Suggestions for mustachian natural childbirth learning?

[JustTrying]

Hello!

Our first child is due in July. I'd like to take a natural childbirth class or do some other things to get prepared for natural childbirth. Due to my husband's travel schedule, some of the more "typical" options will not work for us. For example, I can't do a Bradley Method class because they are very rigid about the way they teach in 12 once-per-week sessions, and my husband can't attend once-a-week sessions for 12 weeks in a row (and since the Bradley method is so dependent on the partner as being the "coach" it really won't work for us). I think what we need is to either do an online natural childbirth class, or choose to get educated some other way (e.g. podcast, book, etc).

I found an online natural childbirth class that looked like it would be pretty good, but then it cost $300, which seemed rather pricey for something that was pre-recorded. (Perhaps I'm being unreasonable, and I should just shell out the money???)

Does anyone have recommendations about a not-too-costly way to prepare for natural childbirth?

Thanks!

[TabbyCat]

I really recommend doing a class in person - it will help you make friends who will have a baby close in age, and you will probably get more out of it. Childbirth is pretty instinctual, the class has a lot more to do with giving you the confidence to trust yourself than actually teaching you anything you will use. I had a great class. Loved it, they covered many, many things. In the end, the most valuable (other than trust yourself and go with it) was 1 - buy a yoga ball and 2 - how to swaddle. All the pain management techniques and position suggestions and everything went out the window when labor started - techniques just did nothing for me where instinct did. We still have friends from class though. And I still have friends from my parent's birth class - we're just a few days apart. You can't get that online.

[StarBright]

I am not hippie dippy at all and I did Hypnobabies and I found it really helpful. There are some people who said they had pain free childbirth with it - I think they are exaggerating. But I will say on a personal scale of 1-10 I would have called my first birth a 7 and my second birth a 5. I ended up having emergency gallbladder removal a week after my second child was born and that was WAY more painful than a non-medicated birth of my 9.5 pound daughter.

You can buy the Hypnobabies course on amazon.

We actually signed up for a class but most of the people dropped out in the first week or so due to life schedules so in the end it was just us - it would have been cheaper to just buy the course online :)

If you have any questions about natural birth, midwives, doulas, etc feel free to PM me.

[chemgeek]

If you're interested in the particular unmedicated coaching methods, look into having private lessons with an instructor or doula. Our doula teaches hypnobirthing at the hospital but also does one on one or group sessions with more flexible schedules outside of the hospital. We paid $260 for a 5-week ( 12 hour) course for reference through the hospital.  I read the hypnobirthing book and you could probably manage with just that, but I think having a teacher go through things was also very helpful, particularly for my husband.

[ErrantPen]

DH and I did the Bradley method (DS was born on 1/1 this year). We thought there was a lot of useful information, and the positive of doing a class like this was that it kept us accountable for our diet, exercise, and learning. However, as a previous poster said, there is no need to get married to specific positions, which I feel like Bradley (or at least our instructor) really emphasizes. I did what felt right for me at the time. But you should definitely practice breathing! That made all the difference in the world. If I didn't breathe steadily, I started to panic. That leads to a nice downward tailspin. Once I would get my breathing back in order, everything was fine (this is where coaches and doulas are handy).

That said, I think that you can get by with reading the books and following the suggestions for preparation. The bigger problem will be with your husband. Mine never would have kept up with anything had it not been for the class. In the end, he turned out to be an excellent partner during the birth. I couldn't have done it without him. Not because he learned anything special from the class, but because he was confident and supportive in his role since he had been actively preparing for it.

Buying a couple of books to read (such as the ones used for the Bradley Method) and both of you reading them will be enough as long as you actually practice the techniques that are suggested. The practicing is really just to help you get in a mind frame that you can recall easily when D-day arrives. I didn't read the Hypnobabies material, but I have been told by many people that it is a good resource. I have also been told that Lamaze doesn't really prepare you for a natural birth. They tend to teach based on a "typical" birth, which is not an un-medicated birth.

Also, I recommend you and your husband read "The Happiest Baby On the Block." Those baby calming techniques have repeatedly saved our sanity over the last three months.

[little_brown_dog]

I actually didn't take any classes because the classes never worked with our schedules and I wasn't particularly worried about not going to a class. Instead, I found it most helpful to talk in depth with other mothers who had natural labors. They told me what it was like for them. I spoke to about 5 or 6 different women in depth about it, and what they told me, coupled with my reading on the topic, made me feel very prepared. I heard from moms who had relatively straightforward, "easy" labors of 8-10 hours, and from moms who had difficult births, protracted labors, etc. I like that I wasn't immersed in the natural childbirth world because I feel like I got a more realistic understanding of birth by seeking opinions of many different women - some who just ended up with a natural birth because that's what happened, and not because they were all super excited about unmedicated birth. By talking to these women, I didn't get some romanticized vision of what childbirth "should be" and instead I got very raw, open descriptions of what it felt like to regular people who I knew and trusted already. Granted, talking to other moms you feel close to won't teach you how to hypnotize yourself, but it can give you a better understanding of the down-and-dirty aspects of birth that are often glossed over in class or book (ex: pooping while pushing, amniotic fluid flowing out all over with each contraction, what it feels like when contractions ratchet up unexpectedly, having to make decisions/changes of plans in an emergency, etc).
When the time came and my water broke suddenly while watching TV one night, I felt as ready as I'd ever be. As you look for a class, definitely hold your own mini-informational sessions with other moms so you are getting multiple perspectives.

[CindyBS]

I really recommend doing a class in person - it will help you make friends who will have a baby close in age, and you will probably get more out of it. Childbirth is pretty instinctual, the class has a lot more to do with giving you the confidence to trust yourself than actually teaching you anything you will use. I had a great class. Loved it, they covered many, many things. In the end, the most valuable (other than trust yourself and go with it) was 1 - buy a yoga ball and 2 - how to swaddle. All the pain management techniques and position suggestions and everything went out the window when labor started - techniques just did nothing for me where instinct did. We still have friends from class though. And I still have friends from my parent's birth class - we're just a few days apart. You can't get that online.

+1

I think this is especially true if you do not already have friends with kids.  My class was a great way to meet parents with kids the same age in my community.  We continued to see each other regularly and most of us had our second children the same year.  We became great friends with one of the couples and still see the others at our annual childbirth class picnic and around town.

[I'm a red panda]

I got hypnobabies for about 70% of the new price on Ebay.  It is frequently for sale, I've seen it as low as 50%.

[tweezers]

I also did Hypnobabies with my second baby and found it very helpful (and I am skeptical, non-woo/hippy-dippy  person by nature).  I needed pitocin with both my labors, but with my first I was on pit for 20 hours and only got to 7.5 cm (and I was 3cm when my water broke) and was fairly despondent by the end (I was exhausted because my water had broken 48 hours prior and  I had to my OB so there were other issues).  With my second  I felt very relaxed, calm, and in control, which I attributed to the hypnobabies.  It wasn't pain-free, but it was very, very manageable.

I bought the CDs used on craigslist for $100, and sold them for the same price after my baby was born.  I didn't take any classes and still met plenty of moms with babies of similar age.

[gatortator]

I did a hypnobirth class ($75 for 2 days of 4 hour sessions) at the hospital with my first child and simply used CDs to refresh myself for my 2nd.   If this is your first child and you have no previous experience with meditation or relaxation,  I highly recommend an in person class if you can find one. 

It's weird to think that I had to take a class to learn to relax, but I did.  Ultimately,  natural childbirth is all about attitude. Shoot that optimism gun--  If you enter into childbirth from a state a fear or emergency, you'll be worse off.  Enter into it with calm and optimism, and you'll be fine. 

My favorite guided meditation/relaxation for childbirth is no longer in print, I think, but copies are likely still floating around.  "Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Labor Companion".  The voice and guided imagery used in the recording worked well for me.  Also worked well to calm my husband :)

[wordnerd]

I LOVED Ina's May Guide to Childbirth. Have your husband/birth partner read it too. Other than that, I watched Hynobabies and Lamaze videos on youtube and practiced my breathing a lot. I found just having confidence and knowing the stages of labor went a long way.

I ended up with a very good(and unmedicated) birth experience.

[cats]

We took a class through our hospital, which was free.  To be honest, in retrospect, the classes were not *that* useful for us.  What was useful was a few pieces of advice from my OB about how to breathe, which I passed onto my husband and which he used to coach me at times.  I will say also that my husband and I have a history of running together and he often acts as my "pacing coach" there, so the breathing/coaching breathing was pretty similar to something we had already been doing together.

The one thing I had trouble with was pushing, and neither our classes nor my OB, nor even my mother (Mrs. Three All Natural Births herself) really gave me any useful advice on that.  When it came down to it, it turned out having a mirror helped a lot, which I had not expected. But what REALLY helped was having the midwife start yelling that the baby's heart rate was looking flat and slapping an oxygen mask on me.  Suddenly I knew EXACTLY how to push and the baby was out (kicking and screaming!) within minutes. It's true that birthing is very instinctual.

If you are trying to avoid an epidural as well as have a vaginal birth, my advice is to just put off the decision for 15-30 minutes any time it starts to sound like something you might want.  My experience was that labor was painful, but it wasn't a constant level of high pain--definitely ebbed and flowed.  So if you can breathe and get through the brief high pain portions, you'll be good.  Your body also kicks in with some nice endorphins or something near the end and that will REALLY help...I actually got a (very very) small tear and although I felt it happening, it did not hurt at all, which seems really weird, but there you go!  Also, I *did* take a couple of Tylenol a couple of times in my (17 hour) labor...I'd taken it at home when my early contractions started and while it certainly doesn't kill the pain completely, it did take the edge off a bit, which was enough for me.  So if you're open to that level of pain management, I'd recommend it.

My labor/birth didn't go 100% as planned, but it went well enough that I have no doubts about being able to go through it again if we have a second child.

[JLR]

I think the key to natural childbirth (apart from some luck) is confidence that it can be done. A lot of it is in your head. You need to be in a place where you are convinced you can do it.

Some things that helped me:
-my nan reminding me that labour is only one day of your life. The pain is temporary
-knowing that once the labour was over I would feel pretty darn good. It is not like surgery where you are guaranteed recovery pain
-knowing that the pain won't kill me. This was a big part of it for me. Sure, there is pain, but you can survive pain.

I didn't do any special classes that trained in natural childbirth. But I did read every book I could borrow from our local library system.

[JustTrying]

Thanks for all the replies! I'd definitely like to take an in-person class, but it just won't work with our schedules. I think I'll pursue the used hypnobabies and some of the books suggested!

Thanks so much!

[PFHC]

Parenting:
Simplicity parenting (http://www.amazon.com/Simplicity-Parenting-Extraordinary-Calmer-Happier/dp/0345507983/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378562&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=simplicity+pareting)
Laura Thompson Brady - is a friend of ours who has become a bit of big deal. She has built upon the above book and provides some AWESOME classes. You can find her at http://www.thenourishedhome.com/.
Happiest Baby on the Block (http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Block-Revised-Updated-Second/dp/0553393235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378814&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block)

Birthing:
Any book by Ina May Gaskin, but especially a Guide to Childbirth (http://www.amazon.com/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Gaskin/dp/0553381156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378372&sr=8-1&keywords=ina+may+gaskin+guide+to+childbirth)
Hypnobirthing - specifically because of the music (http://www.amazon.com/Hypnobirthing-Natural-Approach-Comfortable-Birthing/dp/B0080R3PSE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378444&sr=8-3&keywords=hypnobirthing)
Bradley Method (http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revised/dp/0452276594/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378595&sr=8-1&keywords=bradley+method)
The Business of Being Born (a movie) (http://www.amazon.com/Business-Being-Born-Helen-Ayres/dp/B0054LZ0VO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453378918&sr=8-1&keywords=the+business+of+being+born)

[wordnerd]

I think the key to natural childbirth (apart from some luck) is confidence that it can be done. A lot of it is in your head. You need to be in a place where you are convinced you can do it.

Some things that helped me:
-my nan reminding me that labour is only one day of your life. The pain is temporary
-knowing that once the labour was over I would feel pretty darn good. It is not like surgery where you are guaranteed recovery pain
-knowing that the pain won't kill me. This was a big part of it for me. Sure, there is pain, but you can survive pain.

I didn't do any special classes that trained in natural childbirth. But I did read every book I could borrow from our local library system.

Yes to all of this! The idea that it was productive pain, not destructive pain (like breaking a bone), and that it was temporary was huge to me. I actually compare the experience to the time I had norovirus. At the time, it felt like I was dying; it came in waves, and then it was just over. Just keep the confidence that your body knows what it's doing. It really does.

[TVRodriguez]

Hypnobirthing book and CD (played nightly as I fell asleep) were useful.  I didn't do the classes.  I did attend prenatal yoga, which was helpful. 

I have given birth to three children, all in hospital.  The first was with pitocin and an epidural (mainly, I think, because I went to the hospital too soon and got on the bed and stayed there instead of walking around--this slowed labor.  The pushy OB didn't help, either, with her comment "We could do a quick C and you'd be done!"  If that's the only other option, give me the pitocin, woman!). 

The second and third were delivered without any intervention.  I walked until I could walk no more.  I had to push the nurses to let me get up and walk around, but that did it with #2.  The baby dropped and as soon as I got back on the bed my water broke and the urge to push happened immediately and fairly easily.  The pain of labor increases with fear (fear-->tension-->pain), so relaxing and breathing does help.

There will still usually be pain with later contractions.  The trick is to ride the wave of the contraction and allow the contraction to pass through you like a shiver instead of tensing up to fight it.  RIDE IT, DON'T FIGHT IT.  I wrote that on a piece of paper and had my husband hold it up to me during the 3rd birth. 

Allowing the contraction to pass through you is allowing the muscle to do its work in moving the baby down towards the birth canal (which my 4 year old told me is called "the virginia").  The mirror was helpful, and remembering that even though it feels like it won't fit--it will.  Push like you're pooping.

Congratulations!

[brycedoula]

Others have suggested some great books - I'll throw in my recommendations:

The Birth Partner - Penny Simkin
Lots of fantastic suggestions for non-pharmacological ways to cope with labour pains. The book is written 'to' the partner, but as the pregnant lady you should study this as well.

The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth With Confidence by Judith Lothian
Really focuses on going into labour naturally & encouraging mothers to listen to their instincts, versus an induction/pharmacological pain relief.

I've recently gave birth without drugs (except for the tub - the "midwife's epidural"!). My plan was certainly to go 'all natural' but I also left myself open to the possibility that if my labour was very long and/or excruciatingly painful I'd accept medication. If possible I'd try to keep this in mind; please don't beat yourself up if your labour is more than you can handle without medication.

[JustTrying]

Thanks for all the suggestions! I found Hypnobabies materials for $75 including shipping on ebay, so I should be able to sell it for purchase price or more at some point. I'll have to get to the library to start looking for some of the book suggestions!

[warmastoast]

I've had 3 babies without any pain relief or should I say epidural?
First 2 were born in a pool,  third wasn't in a pool but it was very quick.   Like a previous poster says,  the pain is a "good" one and it comes and goes and is over within a day at most. So, I find the US obsession with epidurals rather strange.  Some women will need it and some won't and you won't know where you are until you are in the midst of it all.  In France in an excellent hospital, the anaesthetist interviewed me and marked the spot for a possible epidural right at the beginning. 

Personally, I think the most important thing is to have a very supportive, experienced and authoritative midwife or doula there to support you.  Someone quite capable of disagreeing with an OB and fighting your corner for you when you are at your most vulnerable.