How do you take a sabbatical in the US? It seems to me that breaks longer than your PTO need to be short-term disability, or you need to quit or risk being fired.
Ultimately I want to be a stay-at-home parent, but I see now that it would be the end of my metaverse job, 😂 I joke because I really am starting to feel that my job is not the real world. It’s “screen time”. My kids, nature, learning and enjoying this abundant life are the real world.
I guess my problem is, how do I stop caring about having a career? How do you change your mentality after being programmed for years to think this is very important?
This is a hard one, and I don't have an answer. I ask that myself sometimes.
How do you pull the trigger into being okay with being an indefinite stay-at-home mom? It seems so final now.
Nothing is really final though, now, is it? You can always go back to work again if you want to or need to. Be flexible! (Easy to say, not to do.)
I guess here's how I think of it...there is this typical career path thing...historically for men (and some women), where it has to be linear... You start working in a career, you take no breaks (except maybe mat leave), and you consistently get raises and promotions, so you can show success in your career and life.
This is basically where I am at.
Then there's this non-linear life thing. This is how many (most?) lives turn out. It's been pretty common for the "mommy track" to take long breaks, and come back into something else entirely, or come back making less money. Some women make up for "lost" time in their careers later in life. Some don't. But what is your priority? What do you WANT?
Do you WANT this linear career progression? Where you define yourself by your job/ career, and have something to show for it? Or do you want to work because you like working? Do you work ONLY for money? Or do you get something else out of it? Unfortunately, it's rare for people to get everything they want out of work. I, for one, would rather have a part time job right now, for example.
A lot of people worry what OTHER people think - so, do you worry what other people think about you giving up a career? That can be hard to overcome.
I have a few examples of friends who have quit when they had kids and changed their life's progression. From FT job to adjunct teaching or self employment. Some moved into catering (for themselves or others). A FT counselor to a PT counselor. A woman who went back to school in her 50s and is now working for social services in her 60s. A former preacher who works for public health, then non-profits, then a hospital. An engineer who quit to do education outreach, and then started a company to bring STEM education to middle schools. A few women with PhDs who took many years off to volunteer at the elementary schools. One of them went back to working in a bio lab after 15 years, and another is working for a winery doing planning.
I'm an engineer, and it's certainly not the "norm" for people I know. (Though I don't know many women engineers anymore.) I've thought of quitting, but I'd call it early retirement (I'm 51), even though my kids are 15 and 9, so let's face it, I'd be a SAHP.
The money thing is tough - but you need to look at it as exchange for your time and expertise. If I quit now, and then in 5 years tried to go back...let's say I decided to work as a quality engineer or a fab engineer again because that's all I could get - yep, it would be a pay cut. However, it would be a fair exchange of $ for the type of work.
---
sabbatical: you really just ask for 6 months of unpaid leave. Many companies let you do that.
