Private school on scholarship?

[startingout]

I'm not planning on doing this, but I wonder if anyone here has. Has anyone sent their kids to an expensive private school for K-12 as a scholarship student? It sounds like a good idea to me for those who qualify.

[MaybeBabyMustache]

What is the goal for doing so? Do you live in an area where the public school system is not good, and the private school is measurably better? I'm a big believer in the public school system, and parent/community involvement. The biggest indicator of student success is parent involvement in school.

That said, there are plenty of situations where different schools are best suited for an individual student, which is why I'd only consider if my student had a very specific need going unmet.

[charis]

There's not enough information to make a blanket statement that it's "a good idea."  It depends entirely on the school and the student. 

If my child got a scholarship for a private school that they applied to and wanted to attend (and the local public school was not a good fit) and we as parents felt it was a good environment socially and academically for our child, sure. 

But there are certain private schools that you couldn't pay me to send my kids to.  In our area, the private schools offer some amount of scholarship/aid to most students, so there's no stigma about it, as far as I'm aware.

[midweststache]

We're products of public schools and big believers in public schools. Except in very extenuating circumstances, I struggle with the justifications for private schools, but I'm also of the "good for them, not for us" parenting policies. (That said, I have a REAL problem with private schools receiving vouchers and diverting away from public education, which is a whole 'nother bag of cats and more concerned with policy practices than individual family choices.)

But maybe you're asking something else? Like: "What would you say in this scenario: A couple is FIRE'd with an annual 2.5% that results in $40K in annual spending. While their annual income is low, their PNW is $1.5M+. Because their annual income is low, their KIDDO qualifies for a scholarship at a local private school; however, their PNW is high enough where paying out of pocket would barely make a dent in their finances. Is it ethical for them to take advantage of that scholarship slot?"

[Freedomin5]

We do something similar. DD is attending a very expensive, exclusive, wealthy, private school for free. There are pros and cons to being educated in such an environment and being one of the “poor” students in this kind of school. Some kids are scarred by it; others come through unscathed. A lot of it has to do with how their parents parent them through the challenges associated with being in this unique dynamic, and a lot of it depends on the kid.

There are also many perks, including access to a plethora of resources and highly educated teachers. There are different thinking patterns and access to opportunities simply because many of the parents are well-connected to the “right” people. It tends to be very academic, and the teachers have high expectations of their students. Some kids thrive under this kind of pressure; others crumple.

DD’s been fine because 1) she doesn’t put much stock in what others think and doesn’t really feel a need to follow trends - she’s pretty independent, 2) academics come easily to her, and 3) our family has the trappings of success so she can talk about our condo in a VHCOL city, house in Canada, and summer cottage, which approximates her classmates’ lifestyles. We just spent a lot less to achieve that lifestyle through house hacking and other frugal manœuvres. Plus the kids wear uniforms, which helps.
So far, it’s worked out for us.

[roomtempmayo]

In our area, the private schools offer some amount of scholarship/aid to most students, so there's no stigma about it, as far as I'm aware.

Talking with lots of friends and acquaintances with kids in private schools in our area, there seems to be some consensus that the schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid.  A good friend of mine makes north of 500k annually, and his kids are getting some scholarship at their school.  He says the school is also really good about tamping down differences between students (uniforms, minimal fees for activities, money for big trips is raised collectively, etcetera).

I'll probably have more first hand experience in a couple years, since our daughter is currently two.  We expect to send her to private school when the time comes, likely with some scholarship.  We also expect to get low-key blowback from friends and family who white-flighted out of the city to exclusive quasi-public schools.

[charis]

In our area, the private schools offer some amount of scholarship/aid to most students, so there's no stigma about it, as far as I'm aware.

Talking with lots of friends and acquaintances with kids in private schools in our area, there seems to be some consensus that the schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid.  A good friend of mine makes north of 500k annually, and his kids are getting some scholarship at their school.  He says the school is also really good about tamping down differences between students (uniforms, minimal fees for activities, money for big trips is raised collectively, etcetera).

I'll probably have more first hand experience in a couple years, since our daughter is currently two.  We expect to send her to private school when the time comes, likely with some scholarship.  We also expect to get low-key blowback from friends and family who white-flighted out of the city to exclusive quasi-public schools.

That has not been my experience with private schools, so that's great if they are achieving more diversity in that manner.  The most expensive private schools here have very little diversity, only slightly better than the mostly white wealthier suburban public schools.  I suppose you can draw these distinctions when comparing private schools to each other but even the most "diverse" private school has very little actual diversity when you look at the community make up itself.

[Michael in ABQ]

Our kids go to Catholic schools. There are some limited scholarship funds available, but we never applied. Even with our income and large family size it didn't look like we would qualify for anything. Fortunately, both schools our kids have attended offered siblings discounts and are relatively inexpensive ($5k +/- per year). Most of the private high schools here are $15-25k/year - though some of those probably have the funds to offer much more substantial scholarships. The public schools here are pretty bad - New Mexico routinely ranks 50th or 51st in terms of education (some years Mississippi or Washington D.C. are worse). We ended up going back to homeschooling for our younger kids this year with the two oldest in a Catholic high school.

[roomtempmayo]

In our area, the private schools offer some amount of scholarship/aid to most students, so there's no stigma about it, as far as I'm aware.

Talking with lots of friends and acquaintances with kids in private schools in our area, there seems to be some consensus that the schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid.  A good friend of mine makes north of 500k annually, and his kids are getting some scholarship at their school.  He says the school is also really good about tamping down differences between students (uniforms, minimal fees for activities, money for big trips is raised collectively, etcetera).

I'll probably have more first hand experience in a couple years, since our daughter is currently two.  We expect to send her to private school when the time comes, likely with some scholarship.  We also expect to get low-key blowback from friends and family who white-flighted out of the city to exclusive quasi-public schools.

That has not been my experience with private schools, so that's great if they are achieving more diversity in that manner.  The most expensive private schools here have very little diversity, only slightly better than the mostly white wealthier suburban public schools.  I suppose you can draw these distinctions when comparing private schools to each other but even the most "diverse" private school has very little actual diversity when you look at the community make up itself.

I don't think they're more diverse than public schools.

What I said earlier was, "schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid."  I was comparing cheaper private schools to more expensive ones. 

To be more explicit about it, the private schools charging <$10k (for elementary school), but not giving much for scholarships, are very white.  They also tend to be Catholic or evangelical, although not exclusively.

The schools with a list price of >$25k tend to give more scholarship money, tend to be less narrowly sectarian, and tend to be more diverse than the schools I mentioned above.

[charis]

In our area, the private schools offer some amount of scholarship/aid to most students, so there's no stigma about it, as far as I'm aware.

Talking with lots of friends and acquaintances with kids in private schools in our area, there seems to be some consensus that the schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid.  A good friend of mine makes north of 500k annually, and his kids are getting some scholarship at their school.  He says the school is also really good about tamping down differences between students (uniforms, minimal fees for activities, money for big trips is raised collectively, etcetera).

I'll probably have more first hand experience in a couple years, since our daughter is currently two.  We expect to send her to private school when the time comes, likely with some scholarship.  We also expect to get low-key blowback from friends and family who white-flighted out of the city to exclusive quasi-public schools.

That has not been my experience with private schools, so that's great if they are achieving more diversity in that manner.  The most expensive private schools here have very little diversity, only slightly better than the mostly white wealthier suburban public schools.  I suppose you can draw these distinctions when comparing private schools to each other but even the most "diverse" private school has very little actual diversity when you look at the community make up itself.

I don't think they're more diverse than public schools.

What I said earlier was, "schools with higher sticker prices have more diversity (both racial and socio-economic) than those with lower prices, since the more expensive schools are offering massive amounts of aid."  I was comparing cheaper private schools to more expensive ones. 

To be more explicit about it, the private schools charging <$10k (for elementary school), but not giving much for scholarships, are very white.  They also tend to be Catholic or evangelical, although not exclusively.

The schools with a list price of >$25k tend to give more scholarship money, tend to be less narrowly sectarian, and tend to be more diverse than the schools I mentioned above.

Sorry, I understood your point and did not think you were comparing private schools to public schools.  I was just pointing out that the more expensive private schools in my area have not achieved any higher diversity than the other private schools, so it's nice if yours have done so.  The most expensive private schools in my area are still the least racially diverse, compared to any other school, including the less expensive private schools.  The only semblance of diversity that I've seen is there are more middle class white students attending.

[reeshau]

We live quite close to the campus of one of those >$25k schools, although we have top-rated public schools, too.  (There are several other choices just a few miles away, too)  I'm mainly looking for diversity and exposure to others' ideas for DS, who just started 4th grade.  A neighbor on our block has two sons in the private school; the oldest is good enough to have graduated and play NCAA basketball on scholarship.  He told DW that if you pay full coat at the private school, you're a sucka.  Scholarships of some type generally are available to everyone.

We did a summer camp at the private school, to have some reason to snoop around d.  It is, of course, very nice.  The faculty we interacted with were very engaged with the kids.

We will continue to watch for signs that the puplic schools are not challenging enough for DS academically (my nightmare is him coming home saying he's bored with school) or for signs of bullying / not fitting in.  The school district is huge; his elementary school has over 700 kids, and the high schools will be > 4,000.  Certainly, there are many different opportunities for clubs, activities, etc.  But if he is feeling lost, we have an alternative close to hand.

It is an embarrassment of riches for school choice.

I do have mixed feelings, as our governor has a bee in his bonnet foe school vouchers.  (He has called special legislative session 5 times to try an pass legislation on it)  The political scuttlebutt says it is a step in dismantling public education, which, this being Texas, there are strong voices on the right who do not deny that.   But, having that available would certainly lower the barriers for our choice, so I do see a potential personal gain in it.  (Although, I do worry about the private schools being swamped, as others take advantge)  I would much rather see great public schools for all, but I do have some mixed feelings.

[Freedomin5]

I think diversity also depends on your specific city. My friend has her two kids at a very exclusive (40k tuition price tag) private school smack dab in the center of Toronto, and their population is about 2/3 non-Caucasian.

Having parents stay involved and interested in their child's education is probably one of the best ways to ensure that your child gets the education that fits them.

@reeshau If you're worried about private schools being swamped and competition increasing, it might be incentive to get your child into a private school before the hordes arrive. Once you're in, private schools are unlikely to kick out a student, but if competition increases, it could be a lot harder to get in.

That's what happened at my daughter's school. During COVID, lots of expats left China, and the school population shrank. Since there are seats to fill and faculty to pay, the school lowered its admission requirements. Many savvy parents took the opportunity to get their kid into the school. Now that things have somewhat recovered, we are back to admission waiting lists, where qualified kids who might have gotten in 3 years ago are waitlisted because competition is building up again.

[TheFrenchCat]

I think it depends on the culture of the school.  Our daughter isn't on scholarship, but the other parents definitely make way more than we do on average.  Catholic school is important to us, especially my husband, so we make it work, but we definitely notice differences.  The school is really good about bullying, so we haven't had any real problems there, but even our daughter has noticed things, like classmates that go to Disney once or twice a year.  And it's just weird to see the other parents spending so much on things like cars, clothes and birthday parties.  But so far everyone has been really nice, even though we don't quite fit the mold.  I'm not sure that's the case everywhere.

[Chris Pascale]

On Long Island we have such good public schools (even specialized ones) that I haven't cared to look into private schools.

For example, there's a music high school that's for anyone in the county. Very specialized, very good, and taxpayer funded.

Mostly, though, I steer my kids toward (A) studying in another country, (B) trade programs via BOCES, and (B) early start in community college.

My oldest did A and B, spending 10th grade in Australia while we hosted a girl from Thailand, then she did a graphic design program. 2nd child got robbed of her chance to study in France in both 10th and 11th grades due to COVID, so accelerated her courses and started college at 17. 3rd kid is about to put in the paperwork to do 10th grade overseas with her eyes on Italy.

The exchange is done through the Rotary Club, which is very affordable, has a long track record, and requires all host families to have a background check while the kids have a local contact they can call at any time, and that contact takes them out at least monthly to see how they are doing.

[startingout]

The public schools in my area are mediocre. I was planning on sending my kids there anyway, but our neighbors were so disappointed with the program that they pulled their child out and warned us. I started looking at the local private schools, but haven't made up my mind yet. There is a Catholic school near us that's reasonably priced, but for some reason, class starts at 7:30am and none of us are morning people, so it'll be like pulling teeth getting my kid out the door on time.

I could have chosen a better school district if I wanted to spend 30% more on my house, but what's done is done.

[charis]

The public schools in my area are mediocre. I was planning on sending my kids there anyway, but our neighbors were so disappointed with the program that they pulled their child out and warned us. I started looking at the local private schools, but haven't made up my mind yet. There is a Catholic school near us that's reasonably priced, but for some reason, class starts at 7:30am and none of us are morning people, so it'll be like pulling teeth getting my kid out the door on time.

I could have chosen a better school district if I wanted to spend 30% more on my house, but what's done is done.

You really should rely on your own experiences and not your neighbors' experiences to make your own personal decisions.   I've heard lots of folks warn us off the local public schools, including those who transferred their kids to private school.  We decided not to let other people influences our decision to such a degree with they would basically decide where our kids didn't go to school.  We visited the local elementary schools, applied accordingly and decided to try our local public school for one year.  That was almost a decade ago and our youngest is still at the school that we decided to try.   It's not perfect (like any school) but we've been very happy with it.

[Morning Glory]

The public schools in my area are mediocre. I was planning on sending my kids there anyway, but our neighbors were so disappointed with the program that they pulled their child out and warned us. I started looking at the local private schools, but haven't made up my mind yet. There is a Catholic school near us that's reasonably priced, but for some reason, class starts at 7:30am and none of us are morning people, so it'll be like pulling teeth getting my kid out the door on time.

I could have chosen a better school district if I wanted to spend 30% more on my house, but what's done is done.

You really should rely on your own experiences and not your neighbors' experiences to make your own personal decisions.   I've heard lots of folks warn us off the local public schools, including those who transferred their kids to private school.  We decided not to let other people influences our decision to such a degree with they would basically decide where our kids didn't go to school.  We visited the local elementary schools, applied accordingly and decided to try our local public school for one year.  That was almost a decade ago and our youngest is still at the school that we decided to try.   It's not perfect (like any school) but we've been very happy with it.

I agree. There can be extremely specific reasons why a school might not have been meeting the needs of a particular child (too much or not enough challenge,  for example). The neighbors or their kid might simply have had a personality conflict with the teacher.

[MMMarbleheader]

Sure but only as a day student, and only if you are within driving distance of "GLADCHEMMS" and "HADES"

Groton
Lawrenceville
Andover
Choate
Hotchkiss
Exeter
Milton
Middlesex


HADES = Hotchkiss, Andover, Deerfield, Exeter

I removed St Pauls because they are boarding only