off topic -- Moving almost 2 year old into brother's room and/or out of crib

[Crystal1588]

Hi everyone-

My most dreaded moment of parenting has arrived (mostly just kidding).  My almost 2 year old is attempting to escape his crib but has been unsuccessful so far.  It's only a matter of time until it happens.  We also have a 4 year old.  As of now, they are in separate rooms.  To add to it, we are planning on trying for baby #3 in a few short weeks meaning we will eventually need to have 2 of 3 kids share a room. 

Once our youngest successfully escapes, we are planning on moving him into a toddler/twin bed.  With our 4 year old, it was a horrible transition that was months of putting him back in his bed dozens of times a night until he passed out in exhaustion hours after his original bed time.  Then he was back up at 4am every morning and we had to battle him back into his bed for the remainder of the night.  I was also about 8 weeks pregnant during this transition so it was just all around miserable.  He now sleeps awesome in his twin bed and never gives us any trouble. Because his transition was SO hard and our youngest is even more spirited, I'm completely dreading it.

On to my question (sorry this is so long!).  Since the boys will eventually share a room and probably on the sooner side, what do you think is the best way to do this?

1. Move our 2 year old into a toddler bed AND into his older brother's room at the same time?  Or maybe move our 4 year old into the 2 year old's room?

2. Move our 2 year old into his big boy bed but leave him in his own room until a new baby is sleeping in the crib in his room?

3. Let everyone stay in their own room and then move the baby into one of the boy's rooms?

4. Install a net on the crib so adorable 2 year old can't escape. Deal with this later.


kidding on number 4. Mostly.

[TrMama]

5. Buy a crib with taller rails and keep everyone in their own room. Deal with the issue of moving kids around in 10-12 months when you're tired of the baby bunking in with you.

Why would you give up an extra 10 months of sleep when you don't have to?

We had a solid wood crib made by Luna that was a good 8" taller than the standard Storkcraft junk. It meant that my kids were never able to escape. I left them in the crib until they were over 3 years old and were developmentally ready to stay in bed when it was time to sleep.

[Cognitive Miser]

Following!  I have a very tall 22 month old who just tried to swing a leg over his crib rail last week for the first time, and I'm in my first trimester with #2.

I'm curious about how to tell when a child is developmentally ready to stay in bed.

[Crystal1588]

So I just read that if you have a crib that is taller in the back (part against the wall), you can simply turn it around so that they can't swing their leg over.  I know my toddler would have a hard time getting his leg up over the short end, so it may buy us a few more months.  My husband is also looking into taking out the springs so the mattress sits directly on the floor.  There is basically no gap between the floor and where the crib starts so there would not be a safety issue.

I'm hoping to keep him in his crib until 3 or so, we'll see if I can win this battle. 

From what I've read, the idea age is 3+ when they have better impulse control.

[chemistk]

I don't have firsthand experience with this (even though I do have a 10 month old at home), but my parents went through this a long time ago with me and my brothers.

When my younger brother was old enough to sleep through the night and didn't get startled easily (somewhere around 12-16mos), my parents moved his crib into my room (I was 3) - they said that we did fine together after a couple weeks of working out the kinks. The key for them was to integrate both our bedtime routines so that we were in pajamas at the same time, had storytime together, and then were tucked in at the same time. I bet you could probably start introducing your 2yo to the same (or a similar) bedtime routine as the older one.

On the crib subject - my youngest brother was able to scale the highest crib available at 18mos. He would grab the top and walk up like a rock climber until he could swing his leg over. Scared the living shit out of my mom the first time she saw this. Apparently, my other brother had seen him do this dozens of times and thought it was hilarious - not knowing that the youngest could have died each time he tried. That night he got switched to a toddler bed.

[tonysemail]

We've heard from friends that sharing a room helps siblings grow closer, so we decided to go that route too.
Plus we were moving, so we wanted them to share a room in the new house right away.

It was pretty easy in my case because my son just adores his older sister.
In a serious tone, I told you him that not all 2 year olds can handle the responsibility of sharing a room.
But he is especially mature and he ate that explanation up.
On the other hand, he's a very good sleeper, so YMMV.

on the question of beds, I've found that putting the twin mattress straight on the floor helped alleviate my concerns with falling out of bed.
We also have a small drawer which we push up against his mattress.
My 7 year old is still sleeping on the floor without a box spring.
But now that neither of them fall out of bed, I'm on the fence and thinking of getting real beds soon.

[Knitasaurus]

Our daughter just turned 2, and we took the side off her crib to make it a 'toddler bed' when she was about 21 months old. We saw her get one heel hooked over the rail, but never saw her get any farther than that. The reason we did it at 21 months was we were visiting friends for a week and she was taking most of her naps on a regular bed, and was sleeping at night either in a pack and play, or in a peapod tent, so her routine was totally different for that week. When we got back, we figured we might as well take the plunge to the toddler bed rather than have her get used to the crib again.

We made a big deal about it being a bed, not a crib, and we practiced putting her down for a nap (we also introduced a small pillow and blanket to cover up with at the same time), so she would just grin and snuggle up with her doll. It went really well at first. Then about three days later she learned how to open doors. So she would wake up in the night, think it was maybe morning, and come into our bedroom. We could generally turn her back around and she'd just climb back in bed and go to sleep, but the door opening thing wasn't something we had bargained for when we made the decision to convert to the toddler bed. :P

It's been a little over three months, and we've had some good patches and some bad patches. It was the worst when she had a bad cold and was teething at the same time. She'd resist going down for naps or bedtime, and just exit her room if we didn't stay in there with her. It has helped to be really consistent with the routine, and to tell her ahead of time that I'm going to leave the room, but I'll be close by, I can hear you, I'll come and tell you when nap time is over, etc. It also helped to learn about wakeful windows (the average length of time a baby/toddler can generally be awake between naps) and do our utmost to get her into bed and through the bedtime routine *before* her body needs sleep. Once she's overtired and the adrenaline kicks in, it's like trying to keep an agitated squirrel in bed. We're also just starting to use an "Ok to wake" clock to help her know when she wakes up in the night that nighttime is not over yet, and hopefully she'll just stay in bed and go back to sleep. *Fingers crossed*

One thing you might have going for you if you decide to move the younger one into the same room as the older one, is that they would have the other's company. Especially when our daughter is trying to fall asleep, it seems like the thing she most wants is for someone to be close.

Good luck!

[tthree]

I vote #1.  But I'm probably biased since my kiddos have shared a room since the youngest was 5ish months.  I also moved both my kids out of cribs at an earlier age (~18m).

[Prairie Stash]

Following!  I have a very tall 22 month old who just tried to swing a leg over his crib rail last week for the first time, and I'm in my first trimester with #2.

I'm curious about how to tell when a child is developmentally ready to stay in bed.

Put the child in a bed for a nap. If the child has a great nap, they're ready. We switched our daughter around 17 months, we both had a week off work so we made the switch (in case we had trouble we wouldn't be tired for work, it wasn't necessary). We went straight into a regular bed from the crib, kids are pretty smart and can handle more than we credit them.

I would switch yours ASAP, to free up the crib now. You don't want child #1 to want the crib when new baby needs it.

OP - I vote #1 based on my experience, yours may vary ;)

[lakemom]

We transitioned all of our straight from our bed to a twin bed at age 2 (no toddler versions involved).  None of my 6 were night wanderers and most stayed put after being put down (a couple of them continued to join us in our bed during the night for a while but none wandered anywhere but from their bed to ours).  I'd vote to just move him into a bed and into his brother's room all at the same time.  Why put yourself through 2 transition periods when 1 will do.  As someone else suggested we started with naptime and after a week or so of napping in the "big boy bed" they were put to bedtime there as well. 

[Homey The Clown]

Sharing a bedroom has also been awesome for our 2 kids, son, 5, and daughter 3, 2.5 years younger. They are really tight. Transition was easy. Don't fight the getting out of bed thing. Let them wander. It's novel. Just don't let them come out of the room repeatedly. Either threaten a baby gate in the doorway or just hold the door shut from the other side until the quit trying to open it. They'll eventually get bored with getting up and will go back to their old sleeping routine.

[Sibley]

The only comment I have is, if you're needing to get another bed, don't get a toddler size. Just get a twin or whatever size bed, then that will hopefully last until they're out of the house.

But good luck. Convincing kittens to let you sleep is a different issue, and that's the extent of my experience!

[emilypsf]

Number 1 and see if the 2 yo will give up napping at the same time.  My kids are also 2 and 4 and share a room.  They have since the baby was five months.  2 is old enough for nighttime shenanigans to be minimal enough not to disturb the older sibling.  The transition out of the crib was forced on us when the baby fell while trying to climb out at 21 months.  She got out a lot at bedtime at first and still does when she naps, but with no nap, she just crawls in bed and goes to sleep at 7:30.  I tell them they can look at books in their room before falling asleep, which they both do. 

[mm1970]

My younger child started trying to climb out at 2, so we transitioned to a toddler bed and it was a horrible mistake!  The boys started sharing a room at 10 months.

We tried for about a week.  First, we used a side rail for the toddler bed.  He hated it - he either kicked it because he wanted to sleep sideways or head butted it.
So removed the side rail, heard crying, he'd fallen out of bed and rolled UNDER the bed. 
After about a week we put the bed back into a crib and he was fine for several months.

When he was 2.5, we bought a new mattress for our bed, and put the old queen on the floor.  We then switched his bed back to a toddler bed, so if he fell out, it was a 2 inch drop.  The kid decided he wanted to sleep on the queen mattress.  Did that for many  months.

Then a bunk bed came up on a local swap site (full on bottom, twin on top).  My older son is 6 years older, so I pounced on that.

Keep the crib as long as you can.  The good thing about the queen mattress is that we could just lay with him to get him to go to sleep, if necessary. (Note, he's 3.5 and that's finally not necessary).

I vote that you move him into brother's room either in the crib or in a real bed but not a toddler bed.