Mustachian budget for a new baby?

[BCar]

My husband and I have planned to start a family in 2017 and I'm trying to fill in the blanks on how this will change our financial picture. Our lifestyle is so different from the average persons that it's hard to go by popular estimates and advice from friends, so I thought I'd throw this out to the MMM community.

How much did having children add to you monthly budget?

I'm talking mainly the necessities of life, food clothes, medicine, car seats etc., not including childcare, loss of income, or the cost buying a larger house/vehicle.

Thanks to anyone who shares their experience here!

[Gin1984]

We added in the cost of clothes from consignment (check out prices your area, mine were $30/every three month but where we are moving is about twice that), and diapers/wipes at $25 but we half cloth diaper which cost about $250 which we bought used from a friend.  Toys end up just being within those as I found sales.  The we had our increase in medical (plan for a few sick visits and one ER visit within the first year).  And then, the big cost daycare.  That is it.  We don't save for college because we plan to cash flow it.

[MayDay]

Estimate about 100$ for food every month, per kid.  Not at first, but they start to eat adult portions pretty quickly.  And way more when they are teenagers. 

Clothes aren't much, but stuff like winter outerwear and shoes tend to take up 90% of my kids clothing budget.  Maybe 100$-200$ per year per kid, depends if you have a steady stream of hand me downs.

Medical can be huge.  We ended up with a special needs kid.  We hit our OOP max almost every year.  10k a year.  He isn't even *that* special but speech therapy is 100$ a week!

Toys, basically nothing until they get to the age they want nicer stuff- like we bought nicer bikes (nothing used around here for kids bikes) and eventually they'll want stuff like electronics.

Diapers were about 25$ a month for disposable.  Formula was about 100$ a month when my formerly breasted baby decided not to nurse anymore at 8 months.  Obviously nursing is cheapest and healthiest but be aware of the potential cost of formula. 

[Gin1984]

Oh yea, I forgot food.  We added $16 to our $50 budget per week.

[planner10]

We actually didn't buy any clothes until the little guy was about 18 months. Folks gave little outfits at our shower and I ended up selling most of them still unused. I stayed home for 8 weeks and pretty much kept the little guy in his birthday suit and a diaper unless we were going out. He was super snuggly. They just don't need much.

Needs: something to sleep in, car seat, food (breast pump and containers you can freeze milk in to give daddy a tUrn, or formula, or if you want to take it on full time without the backup of pumping - whatever you are deciding). Lanolin cream if you are not doing formula.  Diapers or cloth diapers.  I went diapers and they were a huge expense. Like $30-40/month tapering off after 2.5 years.  Stroller and/or baby carrier.  Medicines thermometer diaper cream humidifier. Burp cloths That's it. Baby food is super easy - at 4-9 months or whenever you decide to introduce solids, just steam veggies and then purée them. Eventually incorporate meats. I would leave fruits out for a few months to make sure he gets to like his veggies.

Wants I found really useful: I like the fuzzy things that go on their seatbelt straps so the strap doesn't hurt their face. Probably easily made but I bought mine. Also ended up getting many different kinds of bottles and nipples (picky baby). Snuggie (the blanket with Velcro you can wrap him in). Infant bathtub. You could use the sink, but I liked this. Special hypoallergenic baby wash (could probably make your own). I liked the "what to expect" books, but really these days google is just as good. I liked this fancy stroller I had that could clip my car seat right in. Books. A couple soft silky blankets. I think a door jumper and a swing saved my sanity. Maybe a play pen. I had a baby walker he loved too. One or two stuffed animals. A baby mirror. A mat on the ground with little rings he could play with. Giant sleeping pillow for me, bobby or mybrestfriend pillow. Tiny nail clippers.  High chair. Baby spoons/forks. Sippy cups. Teething ring. Nice rocker/glider. All of this you could get used on eBay or craigslist or Freecycle.

Wants I ended up disliking or not using: way too many tiny clothes and diapers that he grew out of before he could even wear them. 0-6 month shoes. I did use the soft sole slippers, anything else was a pain and he just took off. Baby Einstein and similar. All these crib toys. Crib mobile. Fancy noise maker. Store bought grocery foods. Bottle warmer.

In general I think they get expensive around 18 months. Then you need to buy clothes and shoes (agree used is best-consignment or eBay or craigslist works great). Daycare or childcare is expensive. Started needing basic furniture. Bigger car seats or boosters. And at 3 they start eating enough to noticeably impact your grocery bill. After they get older food increases, and activity costs increase. Lessons or whatever, school materials, etc. The good thing is it is under your control.

Hope my experiences are of some small use.

[LiveLean]

Before our first child was born I was expressing concern about the upcoming costs to a father of two.

"They won't cost you nearly as much money as you think, at least not for a while," he said. "But they'll take much more time than you could ever imagine."

Truer words were never spoken. The time is all worth it, of course.

[Emilyngh]

If you don't include the income lost for child care, the amount saved in taxes (eg., through child tax credit, extra exemption, etc) has covered all of the expenses that DD has added.   This was true even when we used formula when she was a baby and is still true even including the current costs of her activities, larger clothes, and massive appetite (she's 4 yrs old).   I was very worried about the cost of preschool, but luckily we just found a good inexpensive preschool (only $115 a mo), so I do believe it will even hold true with her in preschool starting in the fall.

Whether or not this will hold exactly true for you will depend on how low you keep expenses and how your individual taxes are affected by adding a child (eg., if you will qualify for child tax credit, EITC, etc).

Oh, but like a previous poster mentioned, my estimates of the time she would take?-Way, way, off.   The time that children consistently take is unimaginable.   As long as you can resist the allure of upgrading to an SUV, expensive daycares/private schools, insanely expensive activities, picky eaters insisting expensive snacks, etc, the money is the easy part ;)

[Pelky]

We spent ~$60 dollarstotal in the first year on our first one. (Excluding actual prenatal appts = $570 after insurance and hospital = $2800.)
I accepted every hand me down I was offered. I was given a generous baby shower and I registered mostly for diapers and consumables, since I had most other things.  The attendees laughed when I opened another box of diapers but I was really grateful for it.
They don't need as much as most people think and there is already an abundance of stuff out there that you can get free and used.  Just pass it forward.
I did like having a swing and a jumper and a pack n play for convenience around the house but free or used are the best.

Some comments regarding other peoples suggestions - you can get breast pumps free with most insurance these days. Look into it.

Ask your ob/gyn and the nurses at the hospital for formula samples and supplements.  Also, you can sign up for a bunch of free stuff if your willing to filter through the junk advertisements that come your way.  By doing this I was able to supplement my breast feeding with way more formula Than I needed, if I needed to go out or whatever.  (Bf was not difficult for me and I am a sahm, so there are lots of different scenarios of course).

We didn't actually ever need lanolin, or diaper cream, or breast shields, or medicines, or any of that stuff.  Not saying it's bad if you do need it, many kiddos do.  remember, it's so exhausting just being a new parent that you'll want little luxuries that make life more comfortable. Just be sensible and realistic about what's a convenience and what's excess.  don't spend a lot on stuff in advance or buy in bulk until you start realizing what things and quantities work for you.  Know that these things exist if you end up wanting or needing them and have enough savings to cover it.

Remember this, for most babies, on day one.  All you need is a place for baby to sleep (i.e., a crib), a car seat to get them home from the hospital (presuming you do drive), appropriate clothes & blanket, boobs and diapers.  The rest of the stages come about slowly and you'll figure it out.

[Kitsune]

We've been averaging about 120$ month for our first one (she's almost a year old now), plus about 800$ in "set-up" costs for gear (high chair, car seat$$$, carrier, etc) that will last through all our kids.
- I intended to breastfeed but didn't produce enough for her, so we needed to supplement with formula: 30-40$/month, depending on how much she was eating and how much milk I was producing at any given point in time... (We mostly used the Kirkland brand from Costco, which is about 1/3 of the cost of other formulas... It adds up really quickly!)
- diapers and wipes are about 40$/month (Costco, or if you get amazon prime you can get a similar price there. We tried cloth diapering but stopped when we started formula feeding: the texture of the solid waste changes and is absolutely gross and doesn't wash out as easily. We sold the cloth diapers for 50$ more than we had paid for them.)

Extras included in this:
- clothes (she has basically switched sizes every 2 months. Consignment or buy new on sale; I've maybe spent 50-60$ for a new "wardrobe" in each size, and this gives us enough clothing to do laundry once a week)
- toys (they really don't need that much! Her mobile was a lifesaver and totally worth the 20$. Crinkly books and things with chimes in them at first, and then things that they can play with on the floor - balls, things that roll, things that go into things... She likes megabloks, duplo, and the fisher price little people farm right now, all of which can be found on Craigslist or on sale at 50% off...) books are the main "entertainment" expense for her, but she loves being read to and her first word was book, so... I'm ok with a shelf of non-mind-numbing board books!
- gear: high chair, car seat, carrier (ergo, which doesn't hurt my back and is worth the cost for that alone), etc. those costs are all pretty much at the beginning
- childproofing: baby gates, bed rail, etc
- extra food. At 11 months old, she reliably eats about 1/4 to 1/3 of what I eat at meals, and we go through 2 gallons of milk a week now that she's no longer on formula.

Ways to reduce costs from what we spent:
- if you have friends/family with older children, get all the hand-me-downs you can get!
- have a baby shower and register for things you need. We couldn't for a variety of reasons, but it would be a good option for some! Also, grandparents and friends may provide toys and such...
- get cheaper things. We spent more money on some things that specifically suited requirements of our lifestyle (our high chair can lean back to put a newborn in, which is lovely when you need to make dinner and out the baby down in the kitchen before they can sit up. It also folds down tiny to be brought places, which we do at least twice a week and most weekends. That said, it wasn't cheap.) evaluate what you really need and don't spend extra money on things that "might" be useful.
- breastfeed, if you can
- cloth diapers are cheaper but evaluate whether you're willing to put in the effort for the savings. Personally, I think not having to deal with noxious poo 3 times a day is worth the extra 30$/month. :)
- buy used if you're in a spot with good consignment/craigslist and it won't cost more in car use than you'll save on the item (which has been my challenge with buying used)

Final note: we're in quebec. A gallon of milk is 6.80 at the lowest, Amazon is not as plentiful, most low-cost retailers aren't available over the border... You can probably cut 40$ per month off my costs just by being south of the border and not changing anything else.

[gooki]

$50 a week

[StockBeard]

"They won't cost you nearly as much money as you think, at least not for a while," he said. "But they'll take much more time than you could ever imagine."

This is so true and needs to be taken into account into the costs, or rather savings: After our first one was born, we had so little time to go out that I think we actually starting saving money at that time, enough to offset the additional costs if I remember correctly.

I'm sure our family is not the only one that ended up in this situation, unless you were extremely frugal to start with and would never go out.

[marryliu]

Thanks for sharing.

[louloulou]

I think when they are small they cost very little.  Grandparents wanted to buy a gift so we got them to buy the bigger things- cot, carseat and stroller. I bought a carrier (ergo), baby monitor and a set of modern cloth diapers plus some clothes although we got gifted/hand me downs of tons of clothes. My biggest savings came from breastfeeding and using modern cloth diapers. Honestly, I don't think they cost any extra in the first 6 months. 6-18 months a little bit but I mostly made my own babyfood and they ate same food as us from young too.

It is really only as they got a little older that they started to cost a bit. Eating more, buying things like bikes and then later extra curricular.

[yoga mama]

So much of this depends on the baby, and you and your partner.  One person's must-haves are another person's don't-needs... just like anything.  Many people have very generous friends and family that purchase a lot of the bigger ticket items for gifts.  You are already off to a good start since you're posting on this forum!  We were fortunate to have a friend that gave me all of her kids' old clothes, she had two boys as did I, so almost all of our clothing purchases have been [pre-MMM] splurges.  I ended up having tons of breastfeeding difficulty with my first so we spent a few hundred dollars on lactation consultant and pump rental but am so glad I did.  Both of my kids have essentially been eating adult size portions since 13/14 months old.  We cloth diaper during the day but due to diaper rash issues still end up using disposables for night/naps.  After being totally healthy all his life, my toddler ended up in the hospital and then home on oxygen for several weeks at one point - insurance covered most but everyone's medical coverage will be different.  All this just to say, it is difficult to budget that far in advance, IMO.  And you say you don't want to include loss of income or childcare - those are probably the two largest expenses for having kids.  I think its awesome that you are planning ahead and don't want to discourage you but it will be very difficult to nail down a number that applies to your exact situation since there are so many variables that are impossible to plan for, although some may be able to tell you in retrospect how much they spent.