Misc school expenses

[Missk]

I have three kiddos, aged 9, 5 and 2. My 9 year old has been BEGGING me for a yearbook, of which I have denied each year. Now that he's going into a new school next year (starting intermediate) I thought I would get him one this year.

This raises a bigger question: How many miscellaneous expenses are you paying?

School pictures? I used to buy pictures but I stopped doing that a few years ago. I never got around to mailing them and now I have many copies of the same photo. I simply keep the "Sample" photos and will use that in their baby books. Alright, this seems tacky, but I'm sure it will get a laugh out of the family for years to come.

Food? The school  does "popcorn" days but for the year it's only $2 per child. Very reasonable. They also have small events like movie nights where you can purchase food items for a minimal cost. We rarely attend these but the kids love them.

Anything else? What are your policies?

[I'm a red panda]

I don't have kids yet, but my parents did yearbooks in 8th and 12th grade only (elementary school didn't have them- but this was the 'last year at a school' deal). If I wanted them other years, I had to spend the money myself.  I did, and now regret it, as my husband did as well, so we have 2 copies of 3 of the yearbooks we overlapped :)

No high school class rings, best decision ever.  (I got a college class ring as it was a VERY BIG DEAL at my school, still wear it 10+ years later.) We did get letter jackets because I was on the dance team and that was the only approved jacket for football games other than the thin warm-up jacket designed for warm weather in-stand and it got freaking cold some games.

I have told my sister to not send me school pictures of the kids if it saves her money and to just take and print a picture of them each year for my frame. School pictures are a rip off.

I won't buy from the school fundraisers but love when they just ask for a donation. I'd rather the money not go to a company that is profiting off of schools needs for funds.  I also participate in the local school's 5Ks when they have them, as I think that is a much better way to raise funds than sell crap.

We were allowed to buy lunch at school 2 days per month in elementary school and middle school in the lunch line and got a packed lunch all the other days.  High school lunch came out of our own money if we didn't want a packed lunch.

There were lots of activities fees in middle school and high school though. Theatre, dance, newspaper, cheerleading- it all came with a fee.

[Missk]

Thanks, iowages.

I forgot about the school fundraisers. Those are ridiculous. I too, think just asking for the donation is best.

I wasn't ever involved in school sports but my husband was and he said with the fees and uniforms, etc. it can get expensive. He also got a class ring and he very much loves it. He never got yearbooks and wants to push that our children get them. I see it as wasteful to have them each year. I did get 3/4 yearbooks in high school and I want to get rid of them now. I'm with you on the "graduating" 8th and 12th grade yearbooks. That is fair - I will implement that idea.

I also like the 2-days a month for school lunch policy (hot lunch).

We just also started renting a violin for school lessons. There was a flat fee of $40 plus we are spending another $25/month for rental. I'm all for music lessons so I feel that this is a valuable investment.

[GizmoTX]

We rented a violin when DS first starting playing at age 3 & realized that we were spending a lot of money and for a low quality instrument. I switched to purchasing them as he grew to the next size. Violins come in 1/16, 1/10, 1/8, 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, & 4/4-full sizes -- this makes them perfect for a child to play & they're very portable to boot. A good quality learner violin with bow & case can be purchased new online* for $200-400. I resold each for 75% of what I paid. When DS finally needed a full size violin at age 16, we sprung for a high quality used one at a local violin shop.

* see Young Musicians or Southwest Strings.

[forkneedlepen]

I am starting to struggle with this as well. We have envelopes of bad school photos and yearbooks mildewing under piles of books. I am thinking about having a way for my kids to earn yearbooks. If they really want one, they can work for one. We are in Washington and have popcorn day, too. It is 25 cents every friday. Luckily, my kids don't care. My oldest daughter really loves school lunch and we give her the opportunity to earn one day a month. Our other daughter hates school lunch, so that works well for us. Our son enters kindergarten next year and we could opt into full day kindergarten for $200 a month or do half day kindergarten for free.

[mm1970]

My wallet is open.

I kid.  Only partially.  I live in CA, the budget sucks, our school is broke.  The PTA raises money for the school, otherwise there would be no computer lab, no science, no art, no PE teacher, no music, and no field trips or assemblies.   Yes, we pay the salaries of the teaching specialists.

So the movie nights, book sales, popcorn sales, pizza sales at the science night or winter sing, etc...this is how we raise money.  And since 75% of the students in our school are poor, this is how the rest of us raise money. We have more luck selling $2 popcorn and pizza, because ALL parents can afford that.

In any event, nearly 100% of my charity money goes to the school (I am, in fact, the co-VP of fundraising, aka I'm a SUCKA!)

[MayDay]

Last year we bought the yearbook, this year we told DS that he could pay half. Next year we''ll probably make him pay.

Our school does one huge fundraiser every other year and that is it.

[LiveLean]

We discourage yearbooks. Elementary school yearbooks? Good grief.

We've been on a major purge in advance of FIRE, when we plan to live mostly in a Sprinter Van and in our seasonal beach house rental property that's rented much of the year.

I was wondering what to do with my big, bulky high school and college yearbooks. Then it dawned on me. Dave Grohl is in my high school yearbook and Tina Fey is in my college yearbook.

Ebay, baby!!

[hunniebun]

So far, the extra expenses haven't been too bad at school. I have one in kindergarten and one is pre-school. It is either field trips or fundraisers (which I loath).  What is worse is hockey...with the fundraisers, matching toques, matching socks, wind-ups, gifts for coaches etc. etc. It all adds ups. I don't know when to say enough is enough.   We do school pictures, but I only order 2 fridge magnets for 12 dollars.  One for a gift for grandma and one for me.  Even that is outlandish...but better than a 40 dollar package.  I think you just have consider each thing as it comes up. For older kids, if you don't want to pay and they really want something...they can earn it through work or use money received for b-day etc.  I find when I tell my 6 year old that he can have it if he wants to pay for it with his own money...he usually changes his tune! LOL!

[Rage]

My son isn't old enough for these problems yet, but it seems to me that the solution to a lot of this stuff is an allowance.  Add up all the bullshit that you would normally buy for your kid or give them money for in a given year - yearbooks, fundraiser junk, mall money, plus anything that you would ever say yes to when they say "hey dad can I have X", and give 1/52nd of that amount to your kid as a weekly allowance.  It's not earned, it's just their personal discretionary budget, and you put them in charge of it.  Then when they say "hey dad can I have a yearbook" say, "whachoo talkin' 'bout Willis?  Use your allowance".  (at which point they say, but I spent it on the ice cream truck)  Then you don't have to think about this bullshit ever again.  They will occasionally petition for a larger allowance, of course.   At that point you should require them to write a 3 page dissertation on the subject.

My son isn't even talking yet so maybe this stuff really is as hard as you guys make it look :)

But I'm not completely making all this up, my dad required a 3 page dissertation any time I wanted to spend some of *my own savings* (I was required to save half of all of my income from paper route, mowing lawns, etc).  I wrote a 5 page paper on why I should be allowed to buy a Nintendo.  My dad even took me with him to the university library - I found a lot of stuff about improved hand-eye coordination.  After presenting my paper, the request was denied.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm really fucking good with money these days.

[RootofGood]

We do field trips - $20 per year so far. 

Skip the class photo - $10-15 each year for a single 5x7 that would end up in a file cabinet or in a folder somewhere. 

Skip the portrait photos.  It's like $12+ per sheet.  Anyone who is important and cares has a phone or a computer and sees pics of our kids all the time on facebook.  If we really wanted to spend money on photography, we would go to a professional or have a freelancer do some shots ($50-100+) and then pay for the digital copies to print at our own leisure somewhere cheap online ($1-2 per sheet). 

We go for the yearbook and let the kids pay for it.  I think it's running $13-15 lately.  They have class photos and all of the kids in there.  It's kind of a waste because the kids never look at the 5 old yearbooks they have, but it might be cool in 10-20 years to look back (I know I have looked at some of mine many times since high school, although not in the last few years). 

We skip any kind of "give $2 to save kids dying from cancer" stuff.  I don't feel like vetting the particular charity and don't give money to places that I don't actually know it will end up benefiting the stated beneficiary.  A portion of our estate may end up going to some awesome charity(ies) and they will be well selected (if I don't go donor advised funds first while still alive).  $2-$10 saved here and there dozens of times per year for each of us adds up to hundreds of thousands of dollars in our estate.  Maybe we can actually save a kid from dying of cancer with that kind of real money.

We got some invitation to Student Ambassador something or other.  Basically glorified extracurricular field trips through a tour agency.  Someone at our kid's school "nominated" my kid.  The trips sound interesting (go to Washington DC, get to meet your Senator) but the price tag doesn't interest me at all.  $2,500-3,000 for most of their trips, and that doesn't include transportation to/from the venue (though DC is a $28 round trip bus ticket from Raleigh).  We obviously skip these kind of trips.  I explained to my 9 year old that we can bring the entire family there for two weeks and live the high life for less than the fees they are charging.  And meet our Senator if we really wanted to set it up.  Our last multi-week road trip was way less than $2500.  And our last international vacation to 3 different countries for a week for four of us was way less than $2500.  The kid gets the value proposition and chooses to do the more awesome (and cheaper) travel instead. 

[I'm a red panda]

We got some invitation to Student Ambassador something or other.  Basically glorified extracurricular field trips through a tour agency.  Someone at our kid's school "nominated" my kid.

Oh, I forgot about these things.  3 of the 4 years of high school I was named to "Who's Who of American High School Students".  Asking around, it doesn't sound like it is something EVERYONE gets- as most people had no idea it existed, so you do have to be nominated and accepted to it.

But really- it's just a sales scheme.  They print a book of photos and a two sentence biography, then charge everyone in it a fortune to buy the book.

We declined it the 2nd and 3rd year.

[RootofGood]

Oh, I forgot about these things.  3 of the 4 years of high school I was named to "Who's Who of American High School Students".  Asking around, it doesn't sound like it is something EVERYONE gets- as most people had no idea it existed, so you do have to be nominated and accepted to it.

But really- it's just a sales scheme.  They print a book of photos and a two sentence biography, then charge everyone in it a fortune to buy the book.

We declined it the 2nd and 3rd year.

I used to get offers for the who's who during high school and college.  Yeah, pretty much a waste of $ and I'm glad I never used my or my parents' money to buy a book.  I figure they pull from the school's honor roll or dean's list or buy a membership roster from Phi Beta Kappa or something and then invite everyone on the somewhat exclusive list to pay $60 for inclusion in who's who.  No thanks!   

[Rage]

I got sort-of fooled by the who's who thing.  Wasn't dumb enough to buy their book, but I did list it on my college applications. 

I remember seeing Who's Who on a surprising number of resumes back in the day (I guess Who's Who went out of business in 2007?  That's what wikipedia says).  It always made me chuckle.  "This one was listed in Who's Who!  Do we even need to bother to interview him/her?  Who's Who is qualification enough!"

[mom2_3Hs]

Popcorn days come out of the kids' allowances.
Things required for school (like field trips) I pay for.
School fundraisers--I give a donation instead of buying crap.  Then all $20 goes to the school instead of $4 or whatever.
Things like yearbooks have the same policy as all of their extracurricular "extra" trips--I pay half, they pay half.  They can either earn their half working for me or through organizational fundraisers (for my son who is active in scouts, this means working at various fundraisers, like parking cars at the local festival or selling programs at events or selling popcorn).

My kids are in K, 5th and 6th grade.  Their allowance is their age x2/month. ($12 for the Kindergartener, $20 for the 5th grader, $24 for the 6th grader.  They have to save some, give some, and the rest goes towards whatever...opportunities to learn about money are important to us).

[ltt]

Four kiddos here----it's neverending.  Each week I write a check for around $60 for school lunches.  There are class dues once the kids get in high school, as we don't pay anything at registration time.  There's a fee if your child is in any sport, band, etc. of $30+.  I buy one school picture for $12.  And I plan on taking our children's own photos for their senior pictures because I don't want to spend $1,000.  Field trips are additional, but usually no more than $5-$10 once a year.  Sometimes the student council has a soda day where you can pre-order soda for $1/can.  It's a nice little treat.  Sometimes they sell candy also.  There are t-shirts to buy for various clubs, etc.  Once in a while I will buy those, but it does get expensive.  We do contribute to the PTA directly.  I much prefer writing a check over having the kids have to go and fundraise.  If your child goes on any trips, conferences, etc., that is additional also. 

[TrMama]

My son isn't old enough for these problems yet, but it seems to me that the solution to a lot of this stuff is an allowance.  Add up all the bullshit that you would normally buy for your kid or give them money for in a given year - yearbooks, fundraiser junk, mall money, plus anything that you would ever say yes to when they say "hey dad can I have X", and give 1/52nd of that amount to your kid as a weekly allowance.  It's not earned, it's just their personal discretionary budget, and you put them in charge of it.  Then when they say "hey dad can I have a yearbook" say, "whachoo talkin' 'bout Willis?  Use your allowance".  (at which point they say, but I spent it on the ice cream truck)  Then you don't have to think about this bullshit ever again.  They will occasionally petition for a larger allowance, of course.   At that point you should require them to write a 3 page dissertation on the subject.

My son isn't even talking yet so maybe this stuff really is as hard as you guys make it look :)

But I'm not completely making all this up, my dad required a 3 page dissertation any time I wanted to spend some of *my own savings* (I was required to save half of all of my income from paper route, mowing lawns, etc).  I wrote a 5 page paper on why I should be allowed to buy a Nintendo.  My dad even took me with him to the university library - I found a lot of stuff about improved hand-eye coordination.  After presenting my paper, the request was denied.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm really fucking good with money these days.

My kids are 6 and 8 and this is how I've learned to approach these things. "You want $ to buy xyz from the school? Go check your piggybank. Oh, you don't have any $? Well then, my bathroom needs to be cleaned and I'll pay you $5 to do it. Hey, where are you going? I'm not finished with the list of paying chores you can pick from!"

I haven't tried the dissertation thing though. That could be really fun. Though since I'm a tech writer I might require a succinct 1 page description plus technical diagram and formatting that keeps the reader awake . . .

The exceptions are scholastic book sales for French books. My kids are in French Immersion and french language books are nearly twice the cost of English books. I'll give them $20 a few times a year to choose their own books.

[I'm a red panda]

But I'm not completely making all this up, my dad required a 3 page dissertation any time I wanted to spend some of *my own savings* (I was required to save half of all of my income from paper route, mowing lawns, etc).  I wrote a 5 page paper on why I should be allowed to buy a Nintendo.  My dad even took me with him to the university library - I found a lot of stuff about improved hand-eye coordination.  After presenting my paper, the request was denied.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm really fucking good with money these days.

Not to spend my own money, but when I wanted an American girl doll, my Mom required me to read ALL the books first (there were only 3 dolls at that time; but it hurts me now when I see kids with 10 of these dolls who have never read a single book), pick the one I wanted most, do additional research on the time period she "lived in", and write a report about the doll I chose, why I chose her, and a report about how she fit into the time period she lived in, citing the external sources as well as the fictional books.

I wish I still had it.

[MrsPete]

I do buy yearbooks and school pictures.  I have all my yearbooks and enjoy looking back and remembering my school friends and seeing what they wrote.  I have TONS of pictures of my kids -- some professional, more that I took myself -- and I love them all.  I was going through them last weekend, and they made me remember SO MANY things that I otherwise would've forgotten -- camping trips and hikes, class parties, toys the kids used to love.  I'm working on scanning and organizing them all so I can have a good "back up". 

Field trips -- we went through a spurt in middle school where they were just too numerous.  They also weren't particularly educational (lazer tag at the mall for everyone who made honor roll -- really?).  Though I could easily have afforded all the trips, I know that quite a few other students could not, so I wrote a letter to the school saying that ... and then I let my kids pick half the trips.  On the "missed trip" days, I let them stay home. 

Both of my kids did want school rings.  They got them as their Christmas present when they were juniors in high school.  The Jostens "basic ring" is just under $100 for a girls' ring; guys might be more -- that's what we bought.  I personally never cared about a college ring, and my college girl has never mentioned one -- if she wanted it, I would get it for her for graduation. 

When they were in elementary school, the every-other-month book fairs got to be too expensive.  $$$$ for paperback books.  At first I let them choose ONE book each time, but then I started a new deal:  I'd give them each X amount and let them choose -- buy what you can at the book fair OR I'll take you to the used book store and you can have 10Xs the number of books. 

We never did the fundraisers, but -- because it is right to help your children's schools -- I did make a generous donation to their specific classroom.  We did save "box tops" and sent them to school.  When the kids who took part in the fundraisers were allowed to go to a special play time (or similar), I personally made an appointment with the principal and made my displeasure known -- and then I'd take my kids to something better after school that day.  Those things seemed to disappear after only about two years, so I think I wasn't alone. 

I have a high school senior this year, and that comes with many purchasing opportunities.  She has to buy the cap and gown, of course, but that's only $9.99 -- not exactly budget-shattering.  I did the same thing I did with her sister:  I gave her $50 and told her that was for ALL her "senior items".  She had to buy the cap and gown, but she could use the rest for whatever she wanted:  senior sweatshirt, senior mug, extra tassel, whatever.  She did the same thing her sister did:  She bought the cap and gown and an extra tassel, and she kept the rest.  Oh, and we made our own homemade graduation announcements -- not because they are expensive, but because the school's announcements are butt-ugly and don't even include the student's name. 

[caliq]

But I'm not completely making all this up, my dad required a 3 page dissertation any time I wanted to spend some of *my own savings* (I was required to save half of all of my income from paper route, mowing lawns, etc).  I wrote a 5 page paper on why I should be allowed to buy a Nintendo.  My dad even took me with him to the university library - I found a lot of stuff about improved hand-eye coordination.  After presenting my paper, the request was denied.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm really fucking good with money these days.

Not to spend my own money, but when I wanted an American girl doll, my Mom required me to read ALL the books first (there were only 3 dolls at that time; but it hurts me now when I see kids with 10 of these dolls who have never read a single book), pick the one I wanted most, do additional research on the time period she "lived in", and write a report about the doll I chose, why I chose her, and a report about how she fit into the time period she lived in, citing the external sources as well as the fictional books.

I wish I still had it.

My parents made me do stuff like this -- Powerpoints, and I had to present them in the living room on a projector, usually in front of local extended family.  There were also a lot of Excel spreadsheets for things like getting a dog, or being allowed to go directly from school to the barn vs. going home or to their office first. 

I've never met anyone in real life who had a similar experience -- everyone always things my parents were SUPER weird for making us do stuff like that.  Nice to know I'm not alone! 

[RunHappy]

If you are good about scrapbooking or kid-only photo albums, I would say get a class photo.  My mom did those and i love looking back at them even though I have no idea who those other kids are.

yearbooks weren't popular for my kid until she was middle school which was fine by me. They were $10.

When I was a kid, we didn't have yearbooks, but we did autograph books.  If the classmate had an extra photo (they usually did), then it was glued into the autograph book and a note was written.  My mom still has them. 

I never liked the school photos, so I always took one every year myself. They always turned out better than the school photo.

[MrsPete]

But I'm not completely making all this up, my dad required a 3 page dissertation any time I wanted to spend some of *my own savings* (I was required to save half of all of my income from paper route, mowing lawns, etc).  I wrote a 5 page paper on why I should be allowed to buy a Nintendo.  My dad even took me with him to the university library - I found a lot of stuff about improved hand-eye coordination.  After presenting my paper, the request was denied.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm really fucking good with money these days.

Not to spend my own money, but when I wanted an American girl doll, my Mom required me to read ALL the books first (there were only 3 dolls at that time; but it hurts me now when I see kids with 10 of these dolls who have never read a single book), pick the one I wanted most, do additional research on the time period she "lived in", and write a report about the doll I chose, why I chose her, and a report about how she fit into the time period she lived in, citing the external sources as well as the fictional books.

I wish I still had it.

My parents made me do stuff like this -- Powerpoints, and I had to present them in the living room on a projector, usually in front of local extended family.  There were also a lot of Excel spreadsheets for things like getting a dog, or being allowed to go directly from school to the barn vs. going home or to their office first. 

I've never met anyone in real life who had a similar experience -- everyone always things my parents were SUPER weird for making us do stuff like that.  Nice to know I'm not alone!

I don't make my kids do this ... but the oldest started doing it on her own, and the youngest copied her.  Sometimes it's been a PowerPoint, other times it's been just a letter.  As a parent, it makes you more likely to say yes when you see that the child has thoroughly "thought through" the whole process. 

[I'm a red panda]

I have a high school senior this year, and that comes with many purchasing opportunities.  She has to buy the cap and gown, of course, but that's only $9.99 -- not exactly budget-shattering.  I did the same thing I did with her sister:  I gave her $50 and told her that was for ALL her "senior items".  She had to buy the cap and gown, but she could use the rest for whatever she wanted:  senior sweatshirt, senior mug, extra tassel, whatever.  She did the same thing her sister did:  She bought the cap and gown and an extra tassel, and she kept the rest.  Oh, and we made our own homemade graduation announcements -- not because they are expensive, but because the school's announcements are butt-ugly and don't even include the student's name.

Our HS required you to buy the cap and gown (ridiculous). There were many that were passed down through families and neighborhoods. 

The year I graduated they changed the gown to a darker shade of maroon. I was one of about 20 (of around 400) who graduated in a pinker maroon gown.  There was no way my family was going to buy another graduation gown when we had a perfectly good one at home.  I'm glad a few other people stood out too though.  And that the school didn't say anything...

[RootofGood]

I've never met anyone in real life who had a similar experience -- everyone always things my parents were SUPER weird for making us do stuff like that.

Oh, it's still super weird all right.  :)  But not necessarily a bad idea.  I might have to borrow it. 

[MayDay]

When we took family camping trips out west we each had to write a report about one of the places we went, and read it to the family while driving to that place.

Once when I got in gigantic trouble swimming in a lake unsupervised I had to write a paper on thermodynamics as my punishment.

Nerd parents unite!

[GizmoTX]

I designed & ordered photo cards through Shutterfly for DS' HS graduation announcement -- it was a fraction of the price of the official school announcement, personalized, & much nicer.

[Missk]

And again...today my sons kindergarten teacher sent home a request for $6 for a Mother's Day gift the students will make. There is a box I could check that this contribution is a hardship (and they will work something out), a box that I will contribute the $6, and one box to check where one could sponsor another family, or two.

I'll give the $6 but I would so much rather donate materials or time. Last Christmas they asked for mason jars and Christmas lights.

I get that it's "kindergarten" and after this year there shouldn't be crafty activities like this, but it's a little frustrating that this has to be a fee-based present. I'll gladly take a card! What about Father's Day?