We are looking forward to welcoming our baby in a few months and I wanted to see what everyone experienced for maternity/paternity leave. I have 4 weeks paid leave and 2 weeks to work from home. Are 6 weeks really enough? I'm worried I won't be fully healed or emotionally ready to return to work at 6 weeks.
Also, my mom and mother-in-law have each offered to help during the day as my husband goes back to work, but I don't know how often is best for them to visit. 2 x per week, 3 x per week?
1. How much maternity leave did you and your spouse/partner have? Was it paid?
2. How often did you have family come visit or help after the baby was born? What visiting schedule was most helpful?
3. What did family do at your house that was most helpful?
I live in California. California allows:
4 weeks before baby - FMLA + PDL (Pregnancy disability leave) - Disability pay (~55%)
6 weeks after baby - FMLA + PDL (8 weeks if C-section) - Disability pay (~55%)
12 weeks after PDL is over - CFRA. 6 weeks of this partially paid Paid Family Leave
(Depending on size of company). So up to 22 weeks for regular delivery, 18 post delivery.
Kid #1, water broke at work.
Took 13.5 weeks off, all after baby was born. 2 weeks paid (sick time), remainder partial pay from PDL and PFL.
Definitely needed the first six - was that long before got a good breastfeeding rhythm. Was ready to go back at 10 weeks (going a little crazy), but would have preferred part time. Boss didn't go for that. Going back at six weeks WAY TOO EARLY.
Husband took 2 weeks off at first. Paid family leave.
Then he took the remainder of his six weeks over the next year.
Kid #2, took off 2 weeks before due date. He was born on due date.
Went back to work at 9 weeks, part time (25 hrs a week) to ease back into it.
Went back to work 32 hrs/ week at 3 months (learned my lesson with #1, and by now at a new company, new boss, supportive of the shorter part time hours).
Husband only took a week off.
Had the "sweet spot" of an HR manager who pushed for me to get my full pay when out.
I do not think that six weeks is enough. I think 12 might work, but I was okay going back at 9 and 10. For me, what was more important, was working part time. Trying to do 40 hours with nursing and pumping is brutal.
With #1 mom visited at 8 weeks and in laws a bit after
With #2 MIL visited for 2 weeks starting when the baby was 4 weeks. It was great to have her. My husband was on several business trips those first weeks. (25% of the first six weeks). My MIL and spouse left when the baby was 6 weeks (on the same day). That was a really rough week. Three days straight the baby cried for 5 hours. I'm not exaggerating when I say I almost smothered him. I was hanging on by a thread.
So, more time is better, and yes, have help if you can get it. You'll know what feels right when you are there.