I'm late to the party, but I wholeheartedly second everything
@Laura33 and
@Steeze have said.
Plan, but hold the plans lightly. (We're at kid #3 and already eager for #4 of our 2.2-kid plan. Though we may well stop there. It seems like we just sneeze and a new one pops up - funny thing how that happens.)
Like
@Steeze , we had a pretty solid plan to hit FI relatively soon with our modest home and growing investments.
Instead, we're now similarly considering a multi-generational compound, basically, or some other arrangement, now that we have outgrown our mustachian-and-modest house by any measure yet continue adding bodies.
On the upside, our finances have done very well too, across the board. And I suspect/hope that we'll still land the plane far earlier than I could reasonably guess, only because so many things go so well when you invest, plan, and keep it frugal. It's just that we have wildly more variables and unknowns in our lives now, despite an overall positive outlook.
So now, my plan is to work while the kids are in school and then downshift to my original CoastFI plan of working part-time on my own. Even then, I can't fully or reasonably plan it out due to too many unknowns with expenses and future income. Will DW continue working with more kids, and for how long? Will the new place cost more than I anticipate (and I anticipate it'll be spendy, yay, HCOL areas)? Will our career trajectory continue with similar income boosts? Who knows.
Kids put everything up in the air for a while, until you're past the 'having them' phase and into the 'just raising them now' phase.
Plus, you miss that thing called sleep. (At your stage especially. By #3, it's more of a well-organized speed bump, at least in our house. But a month of NICU, colic, and months of no sleep made for an infinitely long first nine months or so with our firstborn.)
Give yourself grace and patience for when life is totally upside down over periods. This, too, shall pass.
Tips for you - including some freebies: 1. #1 Freebie: ask for discounts on hospital bills! I learned to just call and ask: how much would you discount this if I pay today? I scored $1,300 off for one ten-minute phone call the first time I tried it. I now do that for every bill over $300 or so. Hospitals/facilities are the most likely to discount. You won't receive a bill for months afterwards probably, but remember this tip. Hospitals/docs want to get paid, now, and not wait or pay a chunk to bill collectors, so they'll negotiate, even after insurance.
2. Plan out whatever you'll need for kid #1. You won't fully know until later - it may turn out you value that fancy poop can more than you ever expected with nauseau issues later on and keeping the smells away keeps you from vomiting (yay kids). But you
can shop early now for stuff, including cribs, dressers, strollers, and the like. We were all-in for like $50 or less for our first kid via craigslist, yard sales, a small shower, and the like. We spent the same or even less on #2. And we'd be at almost $0 for #3 had we not just indulged DW's long-term desire to have a fancy double-stroller that's backwards-compatible with our various other carseat/strollers. I figure she (and her back) have earned it at this point.
3. Kid toys are essentially free. Hit a thrift store. Or yard sales. People almost give the stuff away - and sometimes they literally do, especially if the kid is cute (no joke). I'm now trying to
get rid of or preventing getting more toys more than obtaining any. DO NOT BUY TOYS. (Kidding...sort of.) Kids are different, too, and will likely wildly different things. #1 loved her little lamb because she's social and she was #1. #2 has #1 with him always, so all he wants are trucks, cars, and noisemakers. You can't know until you get there, so why bother until you test some things out.
4. Insurance - I second
@Laura33 . Insurance is for catastrophes that you can't self-insure for.
5. Think about schools/daycares and where you want to live in relationship to that and your employers, but you have years still to think on the schools, and a while to think about the daycare picture.
I'll just add that those small differences -- erasing 20-40m/day of commute time -- have a much larger impact on quality of life than one would think if just looking at finances. Especially when you're not sleeping a lot. You might find that moving makes day-to-day life more sustainable with little kids.
Best of luck to you! Kids are a wonderful gift and an adventure!!!