Good book on puberty for boys?

[Trifle]

Hey all
Does anyone know a good book on puberty for boys?  It seems in my quick search so far that there are good options for girls out there, but fewer for boys(?)  Our DS is not quite there yet, but he refuses to talk about anything related to puberty.  He did not inherit the earthy/talk-about-everything gene that the rest of us have, and I thought I might slip him a book to try to ease the conversations.  I thought maybe if he can get information privately, then he might be more willing to talk about it when the subject comes up.
Kind of stumped by him, as this was not an issue with his older sister.  She was always willing to talk about everything as she went through puberty.   And I sort of thought a boy would be even easier.  :)
Thanks!

[zhelud]

My son likes "It's Perfectly Normal," by Robie Harris.

[TheBeeKeeper]

What's Happening to My Body by Lynda Madaras

[Trifle]

Thank you both!

[shawndoggy]

Lord of the Flies?

[Trifle]

Lord of the Flies?

hahahahahahahahahaha!!! 

[Spork]

I don't have kids and I don't have great advice on a book.... I can just tell you what not to do.  I can relate to your son's "not talk about everything" gene.  My mom just snuck a (VERY religious) book on puberty in with my pile of laundry.  Blech.  Not the way to do it.  I would plead with you to buy something not judge-y and more "just the facts ma'am".  Maybe you should force a small conversation before (maybe again after) the book is presented.  Don't just sneak it in with a note to "please read this".   Just my 2c.  I know NOTHING about raising kids...  Just been on the other side of this.

To this day, I remember there was a chapter titled "Masturbation: Gift from God" where it told you how you could abstain from sex and use this as a relief valve.  My mom's only comment was "Read this: but I have real problems with Chapter 13".  (Or whatever chapter it was.)   In essence the lesson was: abstain from everything at all costs or burn in hell.

[SimpleCycle]

What age?  The two recommended are probably the best for preteens.

I'd also consider getting him Changing Bodies, Changing Lives.  It's aimed at teens, and has a distinct feminist bent, but it's very direct and thorough and appropriate for both boys and girls.

[Sydneystache]

Peter Mayle, before he became famous for Year in Provence, wrote lots of books on puberty and growing up aimed at the kids. They were also illustrated and I have two of them. My son giggled when he first went through them as an 8 year old but now he's older he's reading them. Saves me time discussing the jiggly bits and erections and all that. Lol. He asks me questions as points of clarification rather than revelation. THE talk over. Now, I can focus more on emotional development rather than the physical aspects.

[Sydneystache]

I don't have kids and I don't have great advice on a book.... I can just tell you what not to do.  I can relate to your son's "not talk about everything" gene.  My mom just snuck a (VERY religious) book on puberty in with my pile of laundry.  Blech.  Not the way to do it.  I would plead with you to buy something not judge-y and more "just the facts ma'am".  Maybe you should force a small conversation before (maybe again after) the book is presented.  Don't just sneak it in with a note to "please read this".   Just my 2c.  I know NOTHING about raising kids...  Just been on the other side of this.

To this day, I remember there was a chapter titled "Masturbation: Gift from God" where it told you how you could abstain from sex and use this as a relief valve.  My mom's only comment was "Read this: but I have real problems with Chapter 13".  (Or whatever chapter it was.)   In essence the lesson was: abstain from everything at all costs or burn in hell.

Your mum sounds like mine except there were no books at all. I tell my religious friend that she needs to talk to her eldest daughter to go on the pill. The daughter is horny as hell and I don't really know whether she thinks it's preferable for her daughter to have a child or an abortion. The old school mindset of her daughter not leaving home until she's married went the way of the Vatican II dodo. So was sex before marriage. Or marrying the first guy you have sex with. Sigh.

[Trifle]

@ Spork -- thanks.  I really do want to understand how he's feeling.   No worries about religion getting involved -- we have none.  And I have no judgment about anything, as far as I'm aware, so no complications there.  We're just at the "talk about the physical changes" stage.   He just turned 11, but we've been trying to talk about these things with him for years.   

[Steve Ainslie]

I second the Peter Mayle books having read them as a child and gifted them as an adult. I think the titles are Where Did I Come From? and What's Happening to Me Now?

And then, when they grow up, they can enjoy A Dog's Life and A Year in Provence. 😀


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quote author=Sydneystache link=topic=73564.msg1551635#msg1551635 date=1494661908]
Peter Mayle, before he became famous for Year in Provence, wrote lots of books on puberty and growing up aimed at the kids. They were also illustrated and I have two of them. My son giggled when he first went through them as an 8 year old but now he's older he's reading them. Saves me time discussing the jiggly bits and erections and all that. Lol. He asks me questions as points of clarification rather than revelation. THE talk over. Now, I can focus more on emotional development rather than the physical aspects.
[/quote]

[Anatidae V]

I second the Peter Mayle books having read them as a child and gifted them as an adult. I think the titles are Where Did I Come From? and What's Happening to Me Now?

And then, when they grow up, they can enjoy A Dog's Life and A Year in Provence. 😀

Peter Mayle, before he became famous for Year in Provence, wrote lots of books on puberty and growing up aimed at the kids. They were also illustrated and I have two of them. My son giggled when he first went through them as an 8 year old but now he's older he's reading them. Saves me time discussing the jiggly bits and erections and all that. Lol. He asks me questions as points of clarification rather than revelation. THE talk over. Now, I can focus more on emotional development rather than the physical aspects.

I just looked these up, and I read them as a kid too! My mum told us the books were there for us to read, and along with small casual chats and letting us know where the condoms were kept, it made for a very easy and non embarrassing way for me to fact check the basics.

[dycker1978]

Maybe there is more going on then you realize.  Have your child read one of Ivan Coyote's books.  Tomboy survival guide, or gender failure. 

These books deal with youth that are questioning the sexuality or gender.  This can be a really hard time for a kiddo if they are questioning.

BTW I am in no way saying that your child may be questioning, but in the non-profit I run, I see things like this all the time.  The self harm rate for questioning youth is far to high, I would want to make my kids comfortable to know if the were gay or trans or questioning that I would support them.

[jeninco]

A further point (and I wish I had a book suggestion for this):after we got past the "mechanics 'n'safety" part of the conversation, we steered away from "just don't" and also away from "don't be an aggressor" (which comes in many different varieties) and headed toward "enthusiastic consent", i.e. everyone involved should be enthusiastically (preferably verbally enthusiastically) on-board with whatever you're doing. (And be safe.)

I was pointed in this direction by a mom of a teenage girl, who commented "my high school sexual experiences were terrible, and that's not what I want for my daughter."  And then I realized that "enthusiastic consent" was the standard I wanted the kid to be using.

Like many conversations, this one's easier to start before it's personal (i.e. before your kid is seriously looking at being sexy with someone), but you can refer back to it later.

Also, we've been carefully gender- and orientation- neutral, to the point where my younger son (after a comment about grandkids that started "you and your partner may someday decide...) said "Mom, I'm not there yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be interested in girls."

[Trifle]

Awesome feedback, everyone!  Thanks

[scantee]

My son likes "It's Perfectly Normal," by Robie Harris.

+1. This book, and It's So Amazing! for younger kids, are the ones I have relied on.