Pros/Cons of 3 kids in one room vs 2 & 1?

[HPstache]

We have 3 kids of the same gender (boys FWIW) ages 5, 7 & 9.  We have two bedrooms to be split between them.  DW and I have a disagreement about a change to having them all sleep in one room and then have a dedicated playroom.   We currently have DS9 and DS7 I the same room (bunkbeds) and DS5 by himself.   What does the community of overthinkers feel about which is the better way to go?

[shelivesthedream]

We just put 6, 4 and 3 in a room together. They love it. I'd be asking the kids what they think, and considering their personalities. But we're also pretty all-in on what we call "toy communism" - all toys and books belong to everyone unless they specifically don't. Our kids play nicely together and share things and we have fewer toys overall. So it wouldn't make a lot of sense to have separate rooms but no common area for the toys. Otherwise in what sense is it your room if you can't keep other people out?

[charis]

It's unclear to me what the argument is for not having the 3 kids share one bedroom.  You already have two sharing a room.   If there was an argument to be made, I would think that giving the older boy his own room makes more sense than the youngest, unless there's another factor (light/wakeful sleeper, etc).  As long as they can harmoniously share a room and everyone has their own bed, I think having a dedicated playroom would be ideal.

[AMandM]

I don't think there's one right answer, because it depends on so many factors. I'd approach it by thinking about how the rooms will be used under each configuration.

One issue is that if you have a bedroom and a separate playroom, then you can create a distinction between a private room and a public one. I grew up in a house where guests did not go into bedrooms, and (on a somewhat grim note) that does reduce the chances of abuse by peers.

Another is sleep schedules. How do the kids sleep? Will being all together tend to make them keep each other awake, or wake each other up?

Another is territoriality. How much does each boy need some private space where he can be undisturbed? How much do they tend to invade each other's bubbles? Do the older boys need a place where they can keep projects like Legos out of reach of the youngest? You may find creative solutions to satisfy these needs. At one point, all five of our girls wanted to share a room; we put them in the master bedroom, with a loft bed for each, and the space below the bed was each girl's private nook.

[Sanitary Stache]

We have three kids the same ages, but our oldest is a girl. So we separated by genders.  They do share a bathroom though.

If they were all boys, I suspect we would have turned one room into an office/craft/guest room and put all three in the other larger room. Maybe when physical size became an issue as they got older they might push for a change in room usage.

[zolotiyeruki]

I'm late to this party.  We have six kids (BGBBBG).  We have *always* had our kids share a room, until last August when our oldest daughter left for college.  Until about two and a half years ago, all four of our boys shared a bedroom (~12'x14') in two sets of bunk beds.  At that point, it was just a bit too crowded with four boys aged 10-17, so we split them into two bedrooms.  The girls have always shared ever since our youngest was born.  Our youngest (10y.o. girl) is now sad that she has nobody to share a room with.  When our oldest son left the house a year and a half ago, DS2 assumed that he, as the now-oldest son at home and only high-school-aged boy, would keep that room to himself.  He was bitterly (and I mean full-on teenage "you're ruining my life by not giving me my own room" angsty bitterness) disappointed when we moved him back with his two younger brothers. DW and I have held firm, however, despite his many complaints and arguments.

Why do we do it?
1) Avoid instilling a sense of entitlement.  At times, this particular son struggles to appreciate how nice his life is, and making it even cushier is NOT in our program.
2) Learning to act appropriately around and with others.  This means learning to appropriately handle it when your younger brothers forget to put their dirty laundry in the basket, how to go to bed and get up without waking your roommates, how to sleep when there are other people in the room, how to share space.
3) It fosters relationships between the kids.  They're "not supposed to" talk after lights out, but they do, and we only half-heartedly tell them to knock it off and go to sleep.