Extracurricular activities w/the best ROI?

[Mom to 5]

What extracurricular activities offer the greatest lifelong benefit to a child?  How do you determine what to let your kids do?

For me, it is important that most of our suppers are eaten at home and not on the run.  The exception would be if it were an activity that they would do in college (scholarship, major) or have be a lifelong career. Also, I have both gender kids, of a variety of ages.  There are many offerings that are alluring! 

We currently do:

piano, required instrument for my family (age 6.5 and up)  They are welcome to add on after two years instruction
soccer (age 5 and up)
basketball (age 5 and up, but only my girls want to do it)

My girls would love to do everything, and they repeatedly request to take ballet and gymnastics.  Would these offer my girls better skills than team sports? 

I have an interest in martial arts for the family.  We had a great experience with Brazilian jiu-jitsu.  After we moved, we found an MMA place that incorporated Brazilian jiu-jitsu.  My boy was not loving it.  I want to look again for a place because I could see this being something all the kids could do at the same time.  If we don't I will require my girls to take self-defense classes in high school with me because I believe it would be beneficial.

[SnackDog]

Music, sports, clubs (boy/girl scouts): they are all good but even better if matched with a natural interest from the child. Find out what they like and guide them in that direction.   

Music is good education, discipline and group interaction.  Piano is a good start for fundatmentals but eve,ntually get them them in band or orchestra at school.  Instruments which put them in symphonic setting are best (in other words, avoid saxaphone, organ, electric guitar, etc). Some kids hate music but you should force them.

Team sports are excellent for many reasons: group dynamics, shared goals, leadership, communication, etc.   Some kids will hate team sports and you shouldn't force them.

Clubs but especially scouting let's them learn new skills, gain independence, learn group dynamics, leadership, etc.  Clubs should be mandatory but you can be flexible on which ones depending on interest, who else is in there, and adult leadership.

Church is another key elements for kids.  They need to attend frequently enough to understand what organized religion is all about, how they fit in, etc.  They can make their own decisions about religion when they get older but as kids they should be attending services somewhere regularly and interacting with kids their own age.

[gooki]

Ones they are interested in.

I highly recommend reading this:
http://calnewport.com/blog/2013/08/21/do-you-want-to-succeed-in-college-admissions-finish-something/

[Russ]

Ones they are interested in.

I highly recommend reading this:
http://calnewport.com/blog/2013/08/21/do-you-want-to-succeed-in-college-admissions-finish-something/

+1, for much more than college admissions too. Find something you're interested in (not necessarily passionate about... yet) and build on it.

[Russ]

Whatever they're most interested in IMO. maybe tell them they can pick one or two and let them decide?

[oldtoyota]

Thanks! It would be beneficial for me to mention we are a homeschool family. Therefore, I feel like I need to be sure they have some fundamentals. Such as the piano lessons are in lieu of music class that most kids get at school.

Kids in public school still get music classes?

Physics or engineering would probably have the best ROI.

I second what others say. Follow the natural interests of the child, and you will have a happy child.

[KMMK]

You mentioned it in your original post, but I wanted to chime in that I agree about the martial arts thing. Taking karate with a good instructor at a good dojo changed my life completely for the better. But that wasn't until my late twenties. I wish I'd started at a younger age, probably as a teenager. I think when I was younger than 14-15 or so I wouldn't have enjoyed it or received the same benefit, but as an older teen it was probably exactly what I needed. It has to be the right place, though, as you know.

[Russ]

Physics or engineering would probably have the best ROI.

Maybe the best monetary ROI (maybe), but probably not the best health ROI or social ROI (both of which are equally important IMO), and possibly not even the best intellectual ROI if the kid isn't interested in it. I think all the options that are being thrown out here all have different but equal value as long as the kid is actually doing something.

[olivia]

I have no kids, just lots of nieces and nephews, but IMO gymnastics and ballet put a lot of emphasis on physical appearance, particularly at the higher levels. (Ballerinas typically need to be thin, gymnasts are almost always petite, etc.)  For that reason I think team sports are much better for girls.  Obviously physical attributes make a difference, but they are emphasized nearly as much in team sports.  Plus team sports are easy to continue through adulthood, and I'm not sure the same can be said for ballet or gymnastics. 

I played soccer from age 5 on up, and I think it was one of the most beneficial activities for me, particularly as in middle school and high school.  Plus I've continued to play on and off in adult leagues, which is a great way to stay in shape and meet new people, and I'm in my 30s now.

[kimmarg]

Thanks! It would be beneficial for me to mention we are a homeschool family. Therefore, I feel like I need to be sure they have some fundamentals. Such as the piano lessons are in lieu of music class that most kids get at school.

We also do attend church, and my oldest is of age for youth group now. I recently learned of some community service opportunities he will have there.

We aren't going to do boy/girl scouts, but I have pondered doing 4-h.

I was a 4Her - loved it. Like scouts, it can depend on what your local group is like. I learned to manage money as the club treasurer, run a formal meeting, sewing, cooking, and more. They don't do badges, but like scouts you can pick units of things you are interested in like Rocketry, etc

[CommonCents]

I have no kids, just lots of nieces and nephews, but IMO gymnastics and ballet put a lot of emphasis on physical appearance, particularly at the higher levels. (Ballerinas typically need to be thin, gymnasts are almost always petite, etc.)  For that reason I think team sports are much better for girls. 

Not my experience.
Yes, there is a correlation between shorter individuals performing gymnastics better at elite levels, but there was never a mention/requirement/discussion of "well you aren't the ideal body."  I did gymnastics for 9 years.  My parents met through gymnastics, my mom was a coach and quite good.  Frankly, ideal body shapes are in pretty much *every* sport - I saw numerous diagrams of how Michael Phelps is the perfect shape for swimming, you can't tell me that a linebacker doesn't have a certain "heft" to him, or basketball players are short...

Phew.

Ok.  I'd say a balance: A physical sport, a mental activity/skill, and a leadership type one.

So physical sport:

• Swimming is my number one, because EVERYONE should be able to swim.  My college required folks to pass a swimming test to graduate and I was shocked folks couldn't do it.  I was put in lessons at an early age until I maxed out.  (Dad was Coast Guard, we were around water a lot).
• Next, I'd say gymnastics actually, because it teaches you a lot of skills you can transfer over to other sports if you later decide you want to do them - e.g. strength, agility, balance, flexibility, artistic grace, etc.  I credit this sport for being able to jump into other sports later in life fairly easily.  Also great for teaching you to properly fall.  :)
• If neither appeal, I'd say soccer.  It's pretty ubiquitious all-American team sport.
  Sports I've done: swimming, soccer, ice skating, gymnastics, tennis, kayaking (white water and sea), skiing, ballet, dance.

Mental: I suggest music.  Studies show it can help with math.

Leadership: I suggest girl/boy scouts.  Variety of activities.

[/list]

[Lans Holman]

I know you're thinking more about weekly sorts of activities but reading all the different responses made me realize that in terms of mental, physical and especially social growth the thing that I got the most "return" on was summer camp.  Obviously you've got to find the right one and I don't think the really expensive, summer-long ones are worth it but if you can find some good local opportunity for your kids to spend a week or two each summer away from electronics and dealing with new kids, I think that's very helpful.
I also really like Olivia's point about things that carry into adulthood. 
Snackdog, why would you force music on a kid who hates it?  And don't underestimate the value of playing music in smaller groups.  That has brought so much happiness to my life and opened so many doors for me, I can't imagine what my life would be like without it.

[Anatidae V]

This is my experience, as I am not yet a parent.
We were a non homeschooled family of 4. Mum wanted us well rounded and active, so we had to be involved in 1 sport, team or otherwise, and learning 1 instrument, but had to start basics on piano. I wanted to do everything, so I have tried: Tennis, gymnastics (very casual class, best kids there were the teacher's sons), tee ball, Australian non ice hockey, Tas kwon do. Beware of sports people around your direct area say are bad for kid's image, for us that was netball because very bitchy girls played it.
I have learned piano, guitar, bass recorder, singing and euphonium. My highschool had a great music teacher who ran jazz and concert school bands, of any instrument you played. I reccomend seeing, when kids are older, get them all into a band. That itself is great for teamwork.
Also, scouts or something is good, maybe find a gender unspecific one. I did state emergency cadets in highschool, completely free and you learn some great stuff.

[oldtoyota]

Physics or engineering would probably have the best ROI.

Maybe the best monetary ROI (maybe), but probably not the best health ROI or social ROI (both of which are equally important IMO), and possibly not even the best intellectual ROI if the kid isn't interested in it. I think all the options that are being thrown out here all have different but equal value as long as the kid is actually doing something.

I have to admit. I do not like the idea of viewing the activities of children in terms of "ROI." I prefer to follow the interests of the child. They know their interests.

[CommonCents]

As for gymnastics, it seems really fun for them.  DD1 used to do it, and she would love to go back.  I know of three people from my area that took gymnastics that have body image issues.  Purely anecdotal, sure, but it has made me wary.  I don't know if it is because of the attire?  I don't see that w/girls that have played soccer that I know. 

Ballet- The company I would prefer offers summer camps, and I think that I will have my two older girls sample the ballet school next summer.  That is when our basketball and soccer schedule lightens up anyway.  Then we could decide for next year. 

Just a cautionary note, but if you are worried about body image issues from gymnastics, then I would run like heck from ballet.  Here's what a quick google search turned up:

Correlation between ballet and body image issues:
http://www.siue.edu/sociology/EJS/v32kelso.htm
(includes a summary of studies
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11693698
"Two questionnaires assessing "my body right now" and "my personality right now," using semantic differentials were completed by 90 ballet school students and 156 controls. Adolescent female dancers (ages 13 to 17 years) scored higher than age-matched controls and 11- to 12-yr. old peers on Undesirability and Sensitivity for personality and Unattractiveness for body."

No correlation between gymnastics and body image issues:
https://www.fcs.uga.edu/ss/docs/cordray_kelly_d_200108_ms.pdf
"female artistic gymnasts did not significantly differ from BMI-matched non-gymnast controls on measures of body image and disturbed eating attitudes and behaviors. There was no evidence of dieting for weight reduction and/or restrictive eating behaviors in either GYM or CON. The idea that athletes possess positive mental health and have the ability to manage the stresses associated with hours of training and competition in athletics has empirical support 47 and the findings from the current study support that hypothesis"

I make no evaluations of whether these studies are flawed in any way because I only skimmed them, but my main recommendations is that you look into it further before making judgments either way. 

As someone who did both ballet and gymnastics, I'm beyond astonished that there is this feeling regarding gymnastics (which I didn't personally see - and in fact saw the reverse because of the need to build core strength, but recognize I'm only one anecdotal point) and not ballet (which I did see).  As a side note, the attire for gymnastics is really no different than ballet, swimming, or even really ice skating if you disregard the super tiny ruffle that was usually on (all sports I've done).

[teen persuasion]

Lots of interesting information here.

I'm always struggling with finding balance between family life and letting the kids explore their interests.  Whenever possible it has been more convenient for the family if several of the kids could do an activity together, say all do town rec baseball rather than one in baseball, one in soccer, etc.  Given the span of my kids ages (5 kids ages 8 to 23), that hasn't always worked out.  They are all individuals, and we've tried to let them try things they think they might like, and let them drop/change if it isn't what they want.

There has been mention of music, but I haven't seen anything about drama.  Our school district loves its music program, and that tends to bleed over into the HS musical and drama club.  The question in 3rd grade is not "Do you want to take an instrument?", it is "Which instrument do you want to try first?", since many kids eventually join more than one ensemble, and learn more than one instrument within an ensemble.  My older son did viola, bass, electric bass, tuba, and trombone.  It is not unusual for kids to graduate w/ double or triple music honors.

I work in a library, and have run a teen/youth drama club with some homeschool members; the kids do a summer play, and we've also done something we call Classic Horror for Halloween.  The summer play uses a commercial play, but Classic Horror gets the kids involved in more than just acting.  They become producers, directors, write/adapt the scripts (from classic works of Lit, hence the name), set designers/builders, promotion, etc.  The group is divided up into 4-5 smaller groups that work independently, each putting on a 10 or so minute skit/scene from their "work".  We've covered the expected: Frankenstein, Jekyll & Hyde, Dracula (an all female cast).  We've done Shakespeare: Macbeth's weird sisters, and Hamlet's scene w/ the ghost.  We've also done fairy tales (Hansel & Gretel) and musical numbers (Sweeney Todd).  At the end of the night, after 20 or so repetitions, we all run thru our acts one more time for each other, and the kids are always so fabulous, cheering and applauding each group's amazing results.  I've always been less than thrilled w/ the winner/loser aspect of sports competition, and the different scene groups was a nice counterpoint to the sports paradigm.  Everyone could work hard and do their best, and yet still enjoy and be amazed at what the others achieved.

[prosaic]

Now, my oldest says he would like to have an oboe, but not take lessons.  Not sure what to do with that boy! 

You get him an oboe and let him figure it out.

[Insanity]

I have two kids, one is 4 the other is 8 months, so take this for what it is worth.

I am going to put our daughter in soccer very soon as she is a very active child.  She doesn't like to sit around.  She loves to sing and dance as well so I see that in her future.  She has been taking swim lessons off and on (been off more than on lately).    Our son is obviously too young for most things.

At some point I will push them both to give volleyball a try.  There are very few sports where no individual can be the savior of a team. Volleyball is one of them.  As a result, it forces team work and forces you to work with those weaker to help raise their game up.  I know I am biased, because I love the sport as a player. 

I also would like to see them both get into some musical instrument just for the heck of it.  As an outlet.   Really, I want them to be well rounded.  I wish we could give the guidance of handyman/homemaker type stuff -- but we aren't that good at it.

[mustachejd]

Now, my oldest says he would like to have an oboe, but not take lessons.  Not sure what to do with that boy! 

You get him an oboe and let him figure it out.

I don't know your school district capabilities, but I was able to borrow various instruments from mine for free, including the oboe.  It wasn't of the greatest quality, but I got to try it out before my parents spent any money.  Interestingly enough, very few people took advantage of this opportunity.

Music instrument ROI: Definitely agree with starting your kids off on piano - even if they decide to try another instrument in a few years, having that basic treble/base knowledge is so helpful.  You come from a musical family, so you probably know all this already, but I was strongly encouraged by an older family member who worked as a college admissions officer at an Ivy League school to play a less popular instrument if I was interested in receiving scholarships.  She recommended the double bass, viola or . . . oboe.  So maybe your son is on to something ;).

As for me, I opted for the viola and became relatively decent at it.  Because decent violists are rare (google viola jokes - you will find too many to count), I was pretty sought after - I received a scholarship at a local music prep program in high school as well as a partial college scholarship.  This surprised my way more talented, violinist friends - actually kinda surprised me, too. 

[Zora]

On the topic of musical instruments, I agree with the approach of starting with piano and letting the kid decide after that.  That said, I disagree with the poster above who advised steering toward symphonic instruments rather than e.g. guitar.  From a lifetime satisfaction perspective, an instrument that you can play in different contexts provides more psychological "ROI."  You can play the guitar in a variety of ensembles; same goes for organ/piano; same goes for violin/fiddle.  Wind instruments or, say, a cello, there's just less of a "pick-up" element once you're trying to enjoy it as a grown-up.

YMMV.  And, all that said, I've been wanting to play the viola for quite awhile and it's on the to-do list for some undetermined future time.  The viola section always sucks, it would be relatively easy to be a star!  (I play the violin.)

[mustachejd]

YMMV.  And, all that said, I've been wanting to play the viola for quite awhile and it's on the to-do list for some undetermined future time.  The viola section always sucks, it would be relatively easy to be a star!  (I play the violin.)

You got that right. I was a middle of the pack violinist in childhood.  Good enough to be a principal, but never the concertmaster ;).  That being said, I really enjoy playing in chamber groups and orchestras, no matter where I sat, so I never minded too much.  But when I switched to playing the viola, many, many more doors opened.  I was able to start playing in better groups and even got paid for my efforts - which was a huge deal for a teenager ;).  Well more than a decade later, I still play the viola and violin - but I get way more invites for my viola playing skills.  People are just thrilled that I can read music consistently and play in tune.  And when they find out that I can keep a beat - it's like a miracle to them. 

[CommonCents]

That said, I disagree with the poster above who advised steering toward symphonic instruments rather than e.g. guitar.  From a lifetime satisfaction perspective, an instrument that you can play in different contexts provides more psychological "ROI."  You can play the guitar in a variety of ensembles; same goes for organ/piano; same goes for violin/fiddle.  Wind instruments or, say, a cello, there's just less of a "pick-up" element once you're trying to enjoy it as a grown-up.

Eh, if you want it, you'll find it.  I played clarinet in several musicals as an adult, which I love.  I've also played in community bands - some of my best playing experiences.  Learned a lot and had fun.  I think it's a YMMV.  I'd just encourage them to find an instrument they enjoy, is affordable, and as my mom pointed out when I was picking - that I would be willing to carry to and from school (or wherever you are learning) each day.

Another viola player here!  I lived and breathed music during high school - played clarinet in marching band, concert band, orchestra, pep band, school musicals, honor band, community band, etc.  Served as concert mistress.  Decided I wanted to join orchestra on a string instrument my junior year.  There were already too many violin players and I didn't want to be one of that 20+ bunch, particularily a medicore one and preferred being in the 3 player section where I was more needed.  Plus I preferred the sound.  So, I picked up viola and rapidly surpassed our nominal "section leader."  My friend was very good at singing, so she was great at finding the pitch (which I'd match to).  From my prior experience, I was great at reading music & getting the rhythm right (which she'd listen to me for).  Worked out quite well for the two years that I played.  Maybe the oddball mustachian impulses that go against the flow are the same as those that prompted us to play viola.  :)