Author Topic: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?  (Read 487 times)

Trying2bFrugal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 128
we living in two near by state and me driving 750 miles an week on average to be with wife, still deciding on the hospital to deliver our baby, and lot of other things going on life

STILL, we are very excited to welcome our baby girl in April.

Now what I/we should get prepared in terms of must have items to buy till must know stuff?

We are on our own with couple of supporting friends.

I know a lot of retailers/online give you option on baby registries, but dont know which one we should get (we right now thinking amazon).
Also how much expense we should look forward on normal vs C? (I have a ppo plan with 1300 deductible, not sure I am reading it right).

Is there any advice for her to get fit in 8/9 th month (she was 240lbs when she got pregnant, thats the time she was trying to shed some weight to become preg, lol).
-----------------------------------------------
Update: 02/13/2019

Wife is taking atleast 8 month break from work, from end of Feb.
So we can negate the mental tensions on the last minute and planned doctor visits in my place until due date.

We got below items as we see good prices when we cruised
1. Car seat: http://www.gracobaby.com/en-US/snugride-click-connect-30-infant-car-seat-103546
             from wally for $35 on clearence
2. Co-sleeper: https://www.amazon.com/SwaddleMe-By-Your-Side-Sleeper/dp/B00YBADM1O
             from FB Marketplace for $8
             we planned to sleep baby next to mama for first year so she can feed her without much struggle. At the same time, we want baby to be in her own safe box. lol.
3. Crib: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Delta-Children-Brookside-4-in-1-Convertible-Crib-White/33669977
            for $79 on clearence
            (we got this, as used one cost about $50 on FB Mktplace. We arent planning to open until we need it. Otherwise will return to wally.)
4. Stroller: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Urbini-Swiftli-Stroller-Electric/44656180
           for $17 from wally. But mostly will need to give it back as it doesnt seem to 'Click' graco. May find one on FB


Wife doesnt like idea of getting second hand cloth. She is okay with all other items except for cloths from strangers (we dont have many friends who had a baby yet. Our big family, is not from USA)

Other items we think we need
1. Pack n Play - mostly from FB
2. Cloth diapers - New
3. Breast pump - PPO Insurance covers for full set, I plan to get one mechanical for travel as out of pocket
4. Bloppy pillow - saw in FB, yet to decide on it.
5. Muslin blankets - checking for new in FB Marketplace, there are few postings on new
6. Disposable Diapers - we plan to use both cloth (day time) and disposable (night time or outside house). There are few people on FB sells NB or size 1 diapers claiming they are unopened pampers/huggies
7. Sleep sack/swaddle - i saw new ones posted for about 5 or 10 bucks. I read that new borns love to be in them for first couple months. What you guys think?
8. Digital thermometer - new
9. Nasal cleaner - new
10. Bottle warmer - for night time ($5 on FB Mktplace), will get when there is a need though
11. Feeding Bottles (glass bottles)
12. Playing mat - FB Marketplace (saw some for $10)
13. Stroller - I am thinking about just getting a light weight, collapsible graco stroller (not full size) as we currently live in an apartment.

There are about 5 or 6 friends who like to buy stuff for us. They will not be happy if i say they don't need to buy anything for our baby. Each would atleast want to spare $50.
I am drawing blank here as in our list, the ones which we need to buy as new wont cost much.

What are other things that we may need in first two years for the baby? What kind of first aid box supplies or outdoor necessities needed (we plan to camp after 5th month).
We plan a long flight trip (20 hour flight) - anything we need on that front? Outside country?

« Last Edit: February 13, 2019, 04:10:04 PM by Trying2bFrugal »

Captain FIRE

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 332
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2019, 01:17:08 PM »
Congratulations!

The pre-baby time is a bit daunting as it seems like there are so many decisions to make.

There a lot of threads here about what's truly necessary for a baby.  Unsurprisingly, there's a lot of variance in the answers because it varies based on the baby, what you already have, available space, your priorities, etc.  Many things people will agree you don't need, but in a state of sleep deprivation you may *want* very much.  It's more expensive to get things last minute usually, so I encourage you to ask friends if they have any hand-me-downs and check thrift shops/garage sales now for what you'll need/want.  Check also if either of your towns has a buy nothing type group through facebook or other sites.  I personally found the baby bargains book (gifted to me) to be a great resource for explaining baby things (e.g. what is a onsie v. romper v. bodysuit?) and helping to prioritize items.  They have a free website as well, though the layout I find much harder to navigate.  I suggest making a list of required/wanted items first, seeing what you can get free or used, and then seeing if it makes sense to set up a registry and where.

If you do not live near your wife, I encourage you to plan out how you'll handle the actual labor in advance.  (Will you be able to stay near the last two months?  I know several people who delivered 6 weeks early.  Will a friend drop everything to come take your wife to the hospital, while you are driving to her?  Do you have a backup friend?)

I recommend she talk to her doctor about how to get fit rather than internet strangers.  We don't know her health background - nor are we doctors.  (For example, I know my doctor told me not to do crunches after week 24, I think.  Or my doctor said I could keep running if I was already a runner (I was not), but to be careful about picking up new things.  But that's just what *I* was told.  Advice for your partner may vary.)

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7604
  • Location: United States
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2019, 01:17:38 PM »
My experience, YMMV.  I take a "babies don't need stuff, they need love and security" approach.

For my births, I've met the out of pocket max on my insurance for both a vaginal and a c-section; so that really didn't make a difference. I've also had the unfortunate luck to straddle over two years, so generally I've met it twice. YAY!   (My OOPM for my PPO was in the $6k range, deductible was $500.)

As for preparation, babies do not need a lot to get started. 
I personally had a pack and play with bassinet, a glider for nursing, a changing table (many people say to skip this and put a changing pad on a dresser, but we didn't have a dresser), and a bouncy chair when the baby was born.  ALL were hand me downs I got for free.  (Start trolling your buy nothing groups.)  I was given a rock and play, bumbo chair, swing and exersaucer at my shower, I returned them all, figuring I could rebuy them if I needed them. I never did.

We had 2 sets of pack and play sheets, and a blanket to lay on the floor.

I LOVED the boppy pillow (also a hand me down, I sewed a new cover)

I like to have 7-10 outfits in both newborn and 0-3 month size on hand.  Most of these will be pajamas, as newborns don't need much else.  In April I'd probably do cotton vs. fleece pajamas.

Our hospital gave us a sleep sack/swaddle, and I highly recommend having 1-2 on hand.

We had a car seat for each car. We do not use the infant bucket seat, but start with convertibles that will work until the child is into a booster seat. (I didn't spend the extra money on the "all in one", as booster seats are cheap, and i figured by that age they'd want input in what their seat looks like.)

I used a baby carrier (I liked the Lillebaby All-Seasons best, I tried many that friends loaned me.)

Later on, we got a high chair, a stroller, and a crib from either buy nothing or craigslist.

She did not go into her own room until 1, at which time I spent $5 on a sound only monitor on craigslist.


I bought a few hand me down clothes at garage sales to start decking out a closet for the first year, and got tons given to me on buy nothing group. I returned all clothing I  could that was given to me at the shower. In her first 2 years she had so much clothing I rarely reused an outfit, it seemed to come out of the woodwork.  I used most of the gift cards (they were often Target...) to buy diapers.

I recommend having 1 box of newborn diapers and a few boxes of size 1 on hand to start.  For us, Target Up & Up subscription with red card has been so inexpensive that there has been no need to stockpile. Some babies never fit in newborn diapers, so I wouldn't get many of those.

We had formula samples on hand, and that was handy because she had a lot of trouble breastfeeding. Many many babies are supplemented with formula before becoming exclusively breastfed, so be prepared for this. I recommend the premie Dr. Brown's bottles if you plan to transition to nursing.

Insurance should cover a pump, sterilize this before you go to the hospital. I hated the hospital pumps and was glad to have my own.

I used Amazon for a registry, but a lot of older relatives wanted a store, so we used Target. In the end, Target was easier because I made a TON of returns. People really want to buy stuff...and I didn't want stuff.


As for get fit- unless the doctor instructs, she should not try to lose weight. Additionally, she shouldn't pick up additional exercise that she hasn't already been doing in the third trimester; usually the instruction for pregnancy is "keep doing what you were doing with some exceptions- no contact sports, horseback riding, or scuba diving, for example". First pregnancy I was told to stop ice skating after I couldn't tie my own skates anymore.

However, walking is wonderful exercise. Try to add an additional 10 minutes every week, if you doctor approves.  I had gestational diabetes my second pregnancy, and by the end I was walking 10k a night.

nereo

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9404
  • Location: la belle province
    • Here's how you can support science today:
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2019, 01:31:55 PM »
Seriously, I'd buy very little. Invest what time you have in finishing projects, meal-prep (putting dozens of ready-to-cook meals in the freezer) and decluttering.  It's good to research what services there are in your area for new parents (e.g breastfeeding courses, parenting classes, etc). Look to see if there are consignment stores that specialize in children's clothes.  Find other new parents if at all possible. If you plan on doing cloth diapers either have 20+ diapers available or look to see if htere is a diaper service in your area.

You will not know what your baby needs until she needs it. In the beginning you are unlikely to really need very much at all besides diapers, some burp cloths (which can be clean rags) and that's about it.  You will not need a crib for several months (we used a baby box - less is more with infant sleep).  A changing table is a good idea but we used the surface of an existing dresser with a changing mat on top. Every child is different, and planning is pretty futile before you've had months (or years!) with your particular child.

Things I would get now: 
A car seat that is certified for infants.  If you have two cars get two bases so one can stay in each car.
A wearable carrier
Some swaddling blankets and/or sleep sacks.  Don't go overboard because some babies can be swaddled, others hate it.
about 6-8 sets of clothes for an infant (0-3m) appropriate for your climate/weather/season.
A nursing pillow

check with your insurance about whether they cover breast pumps, and you can order one now.


SimpleCycle

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 804
  • Location: Chicago
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2019, 03:21:51 PM »
I was a similar weight to your wife when I got pregnant, and I was also told "keep what you have been doing and gradually add some extra walking" as my prenatal exercise advice.  I was already fairly active but did add walking after I was out of the blorgs of first tri.  Please don't let anyone guilt your wife about her size and the pregnancy.  People of all sizes have uncomplicated vaginal deliveries, and people of all sizes have complicated deliveries and c-sections.  I personally had a mostly uncomplicated vaginal delivery, despite gestational diabetes.  Gestational diabetes risk is higher if you are overweight, as is your risk for a large baby, but both risks can be mitigated.

A lot of what baby gear you buy/obtain is personal preference, along with the preferences of your baby.  DD was SUPER fussy and we overbought devices in an attempt to soothe her - a rock n' play, an infant bouncer, a million baby carriers - and in the end, she was just super fussy and it passed with time.

I think some sort of safe sleeping environment is necessary for an infant.  We used a (gifted) cosleeper at first, and then switched to a pack n play.  It's recommended that baby share a room with parents for the first year, but sleep on a separate surface.

Other than that, I agree with previous posters, you don't need nearly what the registry templates say you do.  And there will still be stores post-baby.

Trying2bFrugal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 128
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2019, 03:47:33 PM »
Congratulations!

The pre-baby time is a bit daunting as it seems like there are so many decisions to make.



Thank you! She decided to take break from work one month early so we can have baby at the place I am living (where we lived most and have friends to help). We checked out a OBG doc and scheduled follow ups for 34th week onwards.
For her weight, we decided to just take it easy until baby is 3 months old or wife gets better. Then we will plan her diet and workout to burn those fat.

Please check the updated post.

Trying2bFrugal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 128
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2019, 03:54:34 PM »
My experience, YMMV. 

...
I LOVED the boppy pillow (also a hand me down, I sewed a new cover)
...
Our hospital gave us a sleep sack/swaddle, and I highly recommend having 1-2 on hand.
...
We had a car seat for each car.
---
I used a baby carrier (I liked the Lillebaby All-Seasons best, I tried many that friends loaned me.)
...
Later on, we got a high chair, a stroller, and a crib from either buy nothing or craigslist.
....
She did not go into her own room until 1, at which time I spent $5 on a sound only monitor on craigslist.
...

I recommend having 1 box of newborn diapers and a few boxes of size 1 on hand to start.  For us, Target Up & Up subscription with red card has been so inexpensive that there has been no need to stockpile. Some babies never fit in newborn diapers, so I wouldn't get many of those.
...
We had formula samples on hand, and that was handy because she had a lot of trouble breastfeeding. Many many babies are supplemented with formula before becoming exclusively breastfed, so be prepared for this. I recommend the premie Dr. Brown's bottles if you plan to transition to nursing.
...
I used Amazon for a registry
...
However, walking is wonderful exercise. Try to add an additional 10 minutes every week, if you doctor approves.  I had gestational diabetes my second pregnancy, and by the end I was walking 10k a night.

Thanks a lot. Most of the ones you mentioned, wife liked it. She started adding some to registry.
Did you used both Amazon registry or just Target?
Right now she is working, and easily put about 6-7k steps. She cooks every meal and count calories. She was put on insulin plan from 3rd month. Doc said she would get gestational diabetes but he doesnt want her to have any issues. So we are doing that. Damn, that insulin pen cost so high (I am just talking about $150 dollar co-pay, not the real INFLATED cost). I could get the same insulin (not pen) for about $50 (full price) in my home country.

Please check my updated post. if there are anything you could say will be helpful.

Trying2bFrugal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 128
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2019, 04:01:37 PM »
Seriously, I'd buy very little. Invest what time you have in finishing projects, meal-prep (putting dozens of ready-to-cook meals in the freezer) and decluttering.  It's good to research what services there are in your area for new parents (e.g breastfeeding courses, parenting classes, etc). Look to see if there are consignment stores that specialize in children's clothes.  Find other new parents if at all possible. If you plan on doing cloth diapers either have 20+ diapers available or look to see if htere is a diaper service in your area.

You will not know what your baby needs until she needs it. In the beginning you are unlikely to really need very much at all besides diapers, some burp cloths (which can be clean rags) and that's about it.  You will not need a crib for several months (we used a baby box - less is more with infant sleep).  A changing table is a good idea but we used the surface of an existing dresser with a changing mat on top. Every child is different, and planning is pretty futile before you've had months (or years!) with your particular child.

Things I would get now: 
A car seat that is certified for infants.  If you have two cars get two bases so one can stay in each car.
A wearable carrier
Some swaddling blankets and/or sleep sacks.  Don't go overboard because some babies can be swaddled, others hate it.
about 6-8 sets of clothes for an infant (0-3m) appropriate for your climate/weather/season.
A nursing pillow

check with your insurance about whether they cover breast pumps, and you can order one now.

For Baby, we planned to go with the ones you mentioned (given in the updated list).
What you mean by diaper service? Is there one? and after reading to forums, some mentioned like 'give nothing' or some, i need to figure that out.

We planned to use the bassinet i posted as her net and we will be using dining table or study table or night table with portable changing pad. We live in apartment and we like to keep minimal things as possible. The changing station is nice, but we dont want it to fill space.

We will need to order the pumps. Thanks for that!
Also she got FSA. We arent sure how to use it, thats my next step.

She doesnt like any frozen food, so do I. We cook 90% of times or get the freshly cooked meals. But for first couple days, we would survive on meals from friends house :)

Trying2bFrugal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 128
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2019, 04:05:54 PM »
I was a similar weight to your wife when I got pregnant, and I was also told "keep what you have been doing and gradually add some extra walking" as my prenatal exercise advice.  I was already fairly active but did add walking after I was out of the blorgs of first tri.  Please don't let anyone guilt your wife about her size and the pregnancy.  People of all sizes have uncomplicated vaginal deliveries, and people of all sizes have complicated deliveries and c-sections.  I personally had a mostly uncomplicated vaginal delivery, despite gestational diabetes.  Gestational diabetes risk is higher if you are overweight, as is your risk for a large baby, but both risks can be mitigated.

A lot of what baby gear you buy/obtain is personal preference, along with the preferences of your baby.  DD was SUPER fussy and we overbought devices in an attempt to soothe her - a rock n' play, an infant bouncer, a million baby carriers - and in the end, she was just super fussy and it passed with time.

I think some sort of safe sleeping environment is necessary for an infant.  We used a (gifted) cosleeper at first, and then switched to a pack n play.  It's recommended that baby share a room with parents for the first year, but sleep on a separate surface.

Other than that, I agree with previous posters, you don't need nearly what the registry templates say you do.  And there will still be stores post-baby.

Thank you!! We decided to co-sleep her in our bed for first year or 9 months (until she can run away out of bed by herself).
I was worried about her being overweight and delivering. Doctor clarified that for us. She doesnt feel bad, neither me of her becoming heavy weight now :).
We planned to keep minimal stuff and bought few as they were on clearance. She wanted a lot of stuff earlier, now she thinks we will keep the baby as old school way - the minimalist way.


mamagoose

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 357
  • Location: FL
Re: Expecting our first baby in April - what we should get prepared?
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2019, 01:25:17 PM »
Strollers: you can use the umbrella-style strollers and technically put the infant bucket-style carseat in it (Google "Duggar Car Seat Stroller Hack"). Lots of people claim it's unsafe, we did it and I'd say it's just about as safe as putting a carseat inside a little red wagon and pulling it around, or putting a carseat on top of a luggage rack at the airport, etc. Not rocket science, no need to pay hundreds for the "travel system" carseat + stroller clicking combo.

Baby Carriers: you can get the Ergo and similar style carriers used for a fraction of the price at places like Once Upon a Child, they are machine washable.

Cribs: many parents discover their kids don't even use the crib. You can go from pack-n-play to toddler bed (or toddler mattress on the floor like many parents do as well) pretty easily.

Baby Monitors: if you have an old cell phone around and are tech-savvy, you can use a car sticky mount and put an old cell phone in your kid's room and set up a streaming video to your computer instead of paying $$$ for the pre-made video baby monitors that do the same thing. This was the key in me being able to work during naptimes.

My other favorite hack: have your wife wear a camisole undershirt everywhere instead of bringing a separate change of clothes for kids. Saves room in the diaper bag and it's an easy thing to take off and put on your kiddo (tighten it into a dress using a hair tie).

Something like this (https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=207419062&CAWELAID=120299900001038470&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=59094350829&CATCI=aud-476261363670:pla-531742705415&tid=onpl000000&kwid=1&ap=7&gclid=CjwKCAiA45njBRBwEiwASnZT51Xj47IUw_2ahoDeccAtMpaZy6be7BSHhgg4LZ6RjXEP4H59sx-ZIhoCD3oQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)