Author Topic: Daily grind wearing down my gears  (Read 13308 times)

KBCB

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #50 on: September 24, 2019, 06:59:44 PM »
You are doing great!!!

If the constant struggle to save and do MMM is a bit much and you find yourself needing a break, maybe order that take out. Or spend money if it means you get a break and can recoup.
Sure it's probably not the best thing to say here, but mentally you need to feel good about what are doing and why you are doing it. When the kids get older and they become observant they may catch these clues that you are overwhelmed and it could send them the wrong message about the link between financial/physical/mental wellness.

I struggle with this myself and I make decisions based on how and who I want to be for my son (any myself) and when I am overworked and overwhelmed it is bad for the whole family. So I order the cheap take out.   

Mrs. D.

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #51 on: April 22, 2021, 02:49:56 PM »
2 YEAR Update:

I was just re-reading this post from 2019 and marveling at 1) how much easier things have gotten and 2) how much support and encouragement I got from this forum. This really helped improve my quality of life!
-My DS is 5 now and goes to preschool 5 days a week. It was hard adjusting to the school schedule but he's doing great there and loves going in the morning! We make the big leap to kindergarten in the fall.
-My DD is 3 and goes to preschool 2 days a week, which gives me 2 child-free days to focus on work, errands, etc.
-I'm still working both my side hustles
-We have a weekly easy dinner night now that's easier frozen pizza, fish sticks or chicken nuggets. This was a game changer!
-I have been teaching myself how to play guitar. This is my "something just for me" and it has been amazing. Guitar is hard AF to learn in your 30's, but very rewarding. We have weekly song sessions now where I clumsily play songs on guitar and my kids sing and dance along in the backyard.
-The gym closed because of COVID and the management told me that childcare is NEVER coming back, so that was a depressing blow. I've adjusted by waking up early to exercise or exercising while both kids are at school.
-We're still not great about hiring babysitters. We started using one consistently but then COVID hit and that fell apart. We're slowly exploring that option again now.
-Things must have gotten a LOT easier because we've got #3 on the way.
-We've made a ton of progress toward our FI number thanks to saving habits, DH's raise, and the stock market going bananas.

So many other parents chimed in with their experiences - I'm curious how you all are doing. Has the grind gotten better/harder/different? Have you found new strategies and hacks that work for you? Has anyone reached the end of the tunnel?

BeanCounter

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #52 on: May 18, 2021, 08:14:40 AM »
2 YEAR Update:


So many other parents chimed in with their experiences - I'm curious how you all are doing. Has the grind gotten better/harder/different? Have you found new strategies and hacks that work for you? Has anyone reached the end of the tunnel?

Wow! Two years went by fast!!!
Mine are now 12 and 8. I FIRED last Aug right before they started sixth and second grade. It has been the BEST decision!!! Life is so much easier with one of us home. DH will likely continue to work until one or both boys finish college. Depends how he feels and things go.
I'm starting to pick up consulting work. One of which is my old employer. Hopefully should only be about 15-20 hours per week. I wasn't planning on doing this when I FIREd but the money is too good to say no. I hope it doesn't make summer more difficult since they will be home.
Anyway, middle school is hard, sports schedules for two different kids is hard. So glad that I can be home!!

Mrs. D.

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #53 on: May 20, 2021, 07:47:23 PM »
2 YEAR Update:


So many other parents chimed in with their experiences - I'm curious how you all are doing. Has the grind gotten better/harder/different? Have you found new strategies and hacks that work for you? Has anyone reached the end of the tunnel?

Wow! Two years went by fast!!!
Mine are now 12 and 8. I FIRED last Aug right before they started sixth and second grade. It has been the BEST decision!!! Life is so much easier with one of us home. DH will likely continue to work until one or both boys finish college. Depends how he feels and things go.
I'm starting to pick up consulting work. One of which is my old employer. Hopefully should only be about 15-20 hours per week. I wasn't planning on doing this when I FIREd but the money is too good to say no. I hope it doesn't make summer more difficult since they will be home.
Anyway, middle school is hard, sports schedules for two different kids is hard. So glad that I can be home!!

So great to hear you FIRED and are home with your boys! Congrats. We are thinking ahead to the years when the kids have multiple extra curricular activities and how we will manage it.  I'm sure I'll post here looking for tips when we cross that bridge :)

elaine amj

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #54 on: May 20, 2021, 11:43:50 PM »
What a great update! So glad you found things that worked for u. Those early years are HARD!

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StarBright

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #55 on: May 21, 2021, 07:41:30 AM »
So glad to hear that it has gotten easier two years later! Thanks for the update.

re: easy dinner night, it really was a total game changer at out house too. I kicked myself for not doing it sooner.

And I love that you are learning an instrument as an adult.

Flat9MKE

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Re: Daily grind wearing down my gears
« Reply #56 on: June 04, 2021, 09:51:41 AM »
Great topic.  I have a 22-month old son (first child) and boy, I did not think it would be so demanding!  It is a full-time job and hard, but totally worth it.

We do a lot of hot dogs, Annie's Mac n Cheese, Chef Boyardee (sp?) ravioli, scrambled eggs, avocados, apples, pears, cereal, instant oatmeal, etc.  I don't feel bad about not cooking organic food from scratch everyday...it takes too long and kids are picky.  It's better that they eat. 

The cleaning definitely never ends and it can get frustrating.  Kids didn't ask to be born though; that was our decision, so we absolutely need to maintain composure and patience and empathy.

But as others have said, make your monthly deposits to 401K and index funds, and then don't worry about the rest.  Mustachianism and frugality isn't a competition about who can spend the least.  Each person and family has a unique situation and one size does not fit all.  The fact that you are on this thread means you are doing a great job.  Keep it up and cut yourself some slack without guilt or remorse.  Let the kids be kids - McDonald's and other indulgences (in moderation) are a real treat and makes for a happy childhood.