Creative Childcare Solutions

[chicagomeg]

Husband & I are talking about starting a family sometime next year. Of course, daycare is a daunting expense. At this point, I only make about $40k, but I really don't want to be a SAHM because I'm afraid I will never have the skills to go back if I do; I'd rather keep working on my career & growing so that we can both retire by the time we have preteens/teenagers. I also think I'd go nuts being at home all day with kids, so even if working is probably a wash for us, I hope to be able to do so.

So I'm curious to see if any of you have used any creative childcare arrangements, especially in those early years. My boss is really not receptive to very flexible schedules, and I have partial responsibility for our reception desk at work, so I'm never going to be able to arrange 3 days a week, 6am-3pm or something really manageable like that. But, one of my good friends is in a similar situation. One idea I've been bouncing around in my head is that if my husband and I plus my friend and her husband were all able to arrange 4 day work weeks on alternating days, we could each share childcare and only need daycare for one day. Is that crazy? Has anyone tried something similar? I feel like I might be able to pull off a 4 day schedule at my office & I know my husband could do one pretty easily.

All of our parents are far away, so unfortunately the grandparents option isn't going to work, but maybe by the time we're ready for #2 we'll be closer to home. We'll see.

[Le0]

I think that is a super cool way to deal with things. I am a new dad, and while my wife is going to stay at home, I would love the opertunity to spend a day with my daughter. especially as she gets older.

[arebelspy]

Sounds like it'd be tough to pull off if all four of you are at different employers.  Four employers all willing to negotiate four day work weeks sounds doubtful.

Further, if the other couple is not Mustachian, they may also have trouble getting by on 80% salary for both of them, but it may still save them money based on 80% of their childcare expenses being reduced, so that's worth calculating.

I think it's a brilliant idea though, if you can make it work.

[chicagomeg]

Sounds like it'd be tough to pull off if all four of you are at different employers.  Four employers all willing to negotiate four day work weeks sounds doubtful.

Further, if the other couple is not Mustachian, they may also have trouble getting by on 80% salary for both of them, but it may still save them money based on 80% of their childcare expenses being reduced, so that's worth calculating.

I think it's a brilliant idea though, if you can make it work.

I was thinking something more like 4-10's and 100% FTE instead of 4 normal days. My employer's not nuts about those arrangements, but it seems like more and more, other companies are receptive to it. I have a new boss starting in January, so I'm hoping things change for us too...

[ASquared]

I think this is such a cool idea and I hope you are able to figure out a way to make it work.  I would be cautious though - the little ones require more time and attention than it seems like before you have them!!  All employers would have to be pretty flexible and this seems unlikely. 

Do any of you have the option to work from home? Meaning that you could shift WHEN you put your time in, so that it was opposite your spouse? 

I only work very occasionally and mostly stay home with my baby.  But when I do work - my husband can do his work early/late/on a weekend day so that I can go to work for a day.

Other things to consider - what do you do when baby is sick - who takes care of him/her?  If you are using a daycare you will not be able to take them. Unfortunately they will also be sick more often while attending day care.

Also I would really recommend getting some breastfeeding education before you have your baby and have a good plan set up for how to pump/feed your baby if you are working.  Not only saves a LOT of $ but is much better for your baby (and you!)

[bogart]

Congratulations on, well, the prospect of growing your family -- realizing you're not quite there yet, but still, seems exciting!

If you're thinking of your paid childcare being a facility, I'd guess there are very few that would take a kid one day a week.  Even a licensed home-based place.  Finding a "nanny" (or baby sitter) willing to do one day a week might be feasible. 

The 4 10-hour days + a day caring for two families' LOs also sounds exhausting to me and not really optimal for enjoying being a new parent.  Of course it may work just fine for (all 4 of) you, you aren't me.  But I'd be unenthusiastic about even trying this and still less likely than that, I think actually to try it and stick with it.

I'd be more inclined (in your shoes) to look at a more blended solution.  Could you and your DH (and the other family's partners if they are interested) each do 2 10/hour days and 2 8-hour days and 1 4-hour day, splitting the child care across that 1 4-hour day, between you two parents (you and your DH, or the other mom/dad pair), so that you parents would provide 2 days of care and could then maybe share a nanny for 3 days (reducing, though not eliminating, OOP costs)?  Maybe even juggling your start/end times on those 8-hour days to reduce the time a nanny is needed to, say, 6 hours on those days?

GL finding a solution that works for you.

[gillstone]

We were able to forego the cost of daycare for over a year becasue my wife was able to work from home.  At about a year the nature of her job changed and she needed to have more focused hours with less work in the evening so we opted for daycare at that point.  You may have to chip in evening hours to get to 40 and it may slow your advancement (though not stop it like a market exit would) but even a year at home would save a significant amount of moneybecause infant rates are much higher.

[CommonCents]

A coworker switched to 4-10 days and cares for his two kids and two neighbors kids on Mondays.  I thought he did that in an effort to save money (switching days in the group) but he does it for free.  One parent gave his daughter a $150 American Doll or giftcard as a thank you last christmas, which he apparently thought a little cheesy (as he should be thanked, not the daughter).

[abhe8]

sure, i think its a great idea op! dh and I do something similar...he works 4 10s, but nights, RFSS and I work a more traditional MTWRF 8-4 (plus some nights/weekends). we use his vacation to cover my nights/weekends. we have a babysitter for 2 afternoons a week, abotu 10 hours most weeks. most months its around 500 in childcare costs, which for 4 kids is nothing.

my good friend works half time, 2 10s and so does a second friend. they watch each other kids on their days off and it works really well. (i know that is not exactly your plan, but similar).

the children's illness is a real factor. with a daycare they will get sick a lot and IME daycare has a very low threshold for calling a parent for a "sick" child. with a babysitter/nanny you can often negotiate to have care for the more minor illnesses, plus they just wont' get sick as much.

[mamagoose]

Highly recommend reading the book Equally Shared Parenting, it gives real world examples of alternate child care arrangements.

I work from home with an infant, it's hard but possible with the right tools (swing, play mat, coffee, daddy taking baby on jogs after his work, and working during naps and on weekends, and using laptop for remote desktop in case baby decides your office is boring). We thought grandma would be our child care until we realized she ain't exactly the baby whisperer and we are more comfortable watching our baby instead. Also baby won't take a bottle and I nurse exclusively, so day care was never really on the table anyway. If your career and family are both important you will find a way :)

It helps me to remember babies are little for a short while but those credentials will always be there on my resume if I ever needed to change jobs. I am currently a self employed engineer.

[CNM]

Can you husband be a SAHD?

Childcare is such a headache.  If your solution works, that'd be a good and inexpensive one.  Would any of the grandparents be willing to help out?  Also, have you checked out your local daycare options?  I was surprised at how inexpensive they can be, especially when compared with one-to-one nanny/babysitting/au pair services.

[msilenus]

The OP sounds like she is thinking of this in terms of "if I can get to five days, then it works."  I'd recommend getting out of that mindset, and start thinking in terms of "this will work no matter what, but every day I can cut out paid childcare is money in my pocket."

We've had a highly variable number of days of daycare depending on how many we could swing throughout the years.  Whatever happens to be the best you can do: that's what you do.

[fidgiegirl]

Thanks for the recommendation of Equally Shared Parenting.  I just requested it from the library and look forward to checking it out on Monday.

I wonder what other alternatives the group might be able to think of?  My husband and I are both educators, and (*fingers crossed*) will be lucky with the timing of our first's arrival in that we can merge maternity leave and summer to get to four months old before needing daycare.  So far, we've bandied about:

- Paying my sister to come over.  However, she will be needing something that can pay a lot more than we can and hopefully she'll get it.  So that one is a big long shot.
- Nanny share with a local family.  Challenge: finding the partner family and finding the nanny.
- Working opposite shifts.  Few opportunities to do this within the education field - would maybe have to look at another field to make it work.
- One of us (most likely me) go part-time.  DH's position is NOT part-time friendly, though he would maybe have an opportunity to job share.
- Switching jobs (again, me) in order to work from home or in evenings.

In our case, other family is not an option for regular care, but might be in an emergency. 

What other ideas are out there?  Hopefully I can report back soon if any of the ideas in ESP would maybe work for us.

OP, I think your idea is awesome but would definitely take a lot of coordination!

[Le0]

Thanks for the recommendation of Equally Shared Parenting.  I just requested it from the library and look forward to checking it out on Monday.

I wonder what other alternatives the group might be able to think of?  My husband and I are both educators, and (*fingers crossed*) will be lucky with the timing of our first's arrival in that we can merge maternity leave and summer to get to four months old before needing daycare.  So far, we've bandied about:

- Paying my sister to come over.  However, she will be needing something that can pay a lot more than we can and hopefully she'll get it.  So that one is a big long shot.
- Nanny share with a local family.  Challenge: finding the partner family and finding the nanny.
- Working opposite shifts.  Few opportunities to do this within the education field - would maybe have to look at another field to make it work.
- One of us (most likely me) go part-time.  DH's position is NOT part-time friendly, though he would maybe have an opportunity to job share.
- Switching jobs (again, me) in order to work from home or in evenings.

In our case, other family is not an option for regular care, but might be in an emergency. 

What other ideas are out there?  Hopefully I can report back soon if any of the ideas in ESP would maybe work for us.

OP, I think your idea is awesome but would definitely take a lot of coordination!

Have you considered staying at home? I hear so many people talk about how expensive childcare is, and then I hear that they do it so they can work.

How much are you making?
How much is childcare?

What's the difference?

Is the difference worth the time spent with the child? (At least until they go to kindergarten?)

[JessieImproved]

Working opposite shifts.  Few opportunities to do this within the education field - would maybe have to look at another field to make it work.

Private tutoring or working for a tutoring agency?

[fidgiegirl]

Have you considered staying at home? I hear so many people talk about how expensive childcare is, and then I hear that they do it so they can work.

How much are you making?
How much is childcare?

What's the difference?

Is the difference worth the time spent with the child? (At least until they go to kindergarten?)

Long answer to short question (and sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread).  But I wanted to write it all out because it I don't see it being as simple as simply the difference between what I make and what day care would cost.

My salary is 63000 a year (will go up next year, but do not know how much).  That does not include matching for 457 plan and teacher pension, nor insurance benefits (though we are most likely all going on DH's insurance (same employer) once baby is born).  We are using a figure of $1200/mo. for child care in our area in our calculations.  That's actually a tad on the low side for an infant in a center in our neighborhood.  Our research is just beginning, so we're hopeful to find something for less (we've only looked near our home in an urban core neighborhood, not near either workplace, each in the suburbs - only looked at centers with published rates, haven't looked at home based care yet, etc.).

With our pretax contributions to retirement ($10K/year each to our 457s, would like to up it, but have not with figuring out baby's impact on our lives/finances), DH and I each have take home pay of $2800 a month.  If I quit working, we'll have $2800/mo., and I won't be making any contribution to my retirement funds.  (I'm confident in my ability to find some flexible replacement income, but it wouldn't be at the count-on-it level of a salaried position, at least not at first).  We could discontinue DH's retirement contributions to gain some more take home pay, I guess, but he's 42 and it'd be less than desirable to cut back now.  Our mortgage + HELOC is $1700/mo.  We are not willing to move at this time - I'll be honest about that.  We like our house, and we like our neighborhood.

So I guess from a cash flow perspective, we could probably do it.  It'd be tight, but we have room to cut.  If one of our cars died, we wouldn't need to replace it if I weren't working (right now, knock on wood, our cars are paid off long ago and in good shape, so aren't costing us a lot out of pocket).  I could economize expenditures like food, we could definitely make cuts to our cell phone bills, but we'd be sacrificing a lot of retirement savings for me.  I have a full budget posted over on my journal.  https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/fidgiegirl's-journal/msg170342/#msg170342

I am torn, because I really want there to be a choice, and I feel like there isn't one right now.  There is also some accompanying emotional baggage in that DH believes we should both be working outside of the home and that frankly, he'd make "better use" of time available staying home because he's typically more of a get-'er-done person than I am, puttering around the house, doing projects, etc.  (I am not really sure what he expects staying home WITH A BABY would be like, but he only has his personal experience to draw from, I guess, which doesn't include one).  He also will not yet quite break from the idea of working until 62 or 65 or whatever and so it is nearly inconceivable to him that either of us should quit prior to that.  And he is not as well-positioned career-wise to be able to make a reentry if he did.  He has a more limited, competitive license area than I do (I have two, and they are both high-demand areas, as well as some quasi-administrative experience).  I am thankful that being in education, I don't worry so much about stepping out of the profession and not being able to step back in like people in other professions might.  With my particular licenses, I could have a number of years off and still get back in easily.

So.  Very long answer to a short question, but you have me thinking again.  I had closed that door in my mind but maybe we need to look more closely again at how we can reopen it.  I am pretty much scared shitless for this little person to arrive and would prefer not to make any decisions until after s/he is born to see how staying home with an infant really plays out.  We'll be able to take a few months to see, luckily.

Thanks for asking.  :)

[Le0]

Have you considered staying at home? I hear so many people talk about how expensive childcare is, and then I hear that they do it so they can work.

How much are you making?
How much is childcare?

What's the difference?

Is the difference worth the time spent with the child? (At least until they go to kindergarten?)

Long answer to short question (and sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread).  But I wanted to write it all out because it I don't see it being as simple as simply the difference between what I make and what day care would cost.

My salary is 63000 a year (will go up next year, but do not know how much).  That does not include matching for 457 plan and teacher pension, nor insurance benefits (though we are most likely all going on DH's insurance (same employer) once baby is born).  We are using a figure of $1200/mo. for child care in our area in our calculations.  That's actually a tad on the low side for an infant in a center in our neighborhood.  Our research is just beginning, so we're hopeful to find something for less (we've only looked near our home in an urban core neighborhood, not near either workplace, each in the suburbs - only looked at centers with published rates, haven't looked at home based care yet, etc.).

With our pretax contributions to retirement ($10K/year each to our 457s, would like to up it, but have not with figuring out baby's impact on our lives/finances), DH and I each have take home pay of $2800 a month.  If I quit working, we'll have $2800/mo., and I won't be making any contribution to my retirement funds.  (I'm confident in my ability to find some flexible replacement income, but it wouldn't be at the count-on-it level of a salaried position, at least not at first).  We could discontinue DH's retirement contributions to gain some more take home pay, I guess, but he's 42 and it'd be less than desirable to cut back now.  Our mortgage + HELOC is $1700/mo.  We are not willing to move at this time - I'll be honest about that.  We like our house, and we like our neighborhood.

So I guess from a cash flow perspective, we could probably do it.  It'd be tight, but we have room to cut.  If one of our cars died, we wouldn't need to replace it if I weren't working (right now, knock on wood, our cars are paid off long ago and in good shape, so aren't costing us a lot out of pocket).  I could economize expenditures like food, we could definitely make cuts to our cell phone bills, but we'd be sacrificing a lot of retirement savings for me.  I have a full budget posted over on my journal.  https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/fidgiegirl's-journal/msg170342/#msg170342

I am torn, because I really want there to be a choice, and I feel like there isn't one right now.  There is also some accompanying emotional baggage in that DH believes we should both be working outside of the home and that frankly, he'd make "better use" of time available staying home because he's typically more of a get-'er-done person than I am, puttering around the house, doing projects, etc.  (I am not really sure what he expects staying home WITH A BABY would be like, but he only has his personal experience to draw from, I guess, which doesn't include one).  He also will not yet quite break from the idea of working until 62 or 65 or whatever and so it is nearly inconceivable to him that either of us should quit prior to that.  And he is not as well-positioned career-wise to be able to make a reentry if he did.  He has a more limited, competitive license area than I do (I have two, and they are both high-demand areas, as well as some quasi-administrative experience).  I am thankful that being in education, I don't worry so much about stepping out of the profession and not being able to step back in like people in other professions might.  With my particular licenses, I could have a number of years off and still get back in easily.

So.  Very long answer to a short question, but you have me thinking again.  I had closed that door in my mind but maybe we need to look more closely again at how we can reopen it.  I am pretty much scared shitless for this little person to arrive and would prefer not to make any decisions until after s/he is born to see how staying home with an infant really plays out.  We'll be able to take a few months to see, luckily.

Thanks for asking.  :)

Sounds like a short complex answer to a simple question. Good job for not being afraid to step out and then back into the work force, I feel a lot of women get forced to work because of this fear.

My wife did Christmas Baking over the holidays and plans to do similar things all year. There is always the option to watch other peoples children. Turn the childcare cost into income.

If you keep looking you will find something.

[TheGadfly]

I want to revive this topic because I'm curious how things turned out for the OP and others on this thread. Any updates ~6 years later?

My wife and I are thinking ahead about childcare and I'm currently scouring the internet for creative alternatives to expensive daycare centers. So far, nanny share seems like the most "radical" alternative but, in many cases, it costs more than daycare.

[chicagomeg]

I want to revive this topic because I'm curious how things turned out for the OP and others on this thread. Any updates ~6 years later?

My wife and I are thinking ahead about childcare and I'm currently scouring the internet for creative alternatives to expensive daycare centers. So far, nanny share seems like the most "radical" alternative but, in many cases, it costs more than daycare.

Oh. I got divorced. 30, childless, and pretty happy with how things turned out so far.

ETA: I saw the friend last night and she's still married but I think they've decided not to have kids. Glad I kept her as a friend all these years at least.

[TheGadfly]

Oh. I got divorced. 30, childless, and pretty happy with how things turned out so far.

Glad things turned out well for you!