Learning, Sharing, and Teaching > Mini Money Mustaches

Child-related costs as kids get older?

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dphngbr:
Question for those of you with older kids:  how do your child-related costs change over time?  Right now our kids are young (6, 4, 1, one on the way) and I don't have a good sense of how -- or if -- our spending is going to change as more kids enter school age or their teens. 

If it's relevant, we are in an area with great public schools and don't plan to go private; kids are in 2 activities max (one sport, one arts) starting at age 5ish; kids start preschool at age 3, which we pay for out of pocket for 2 years; we have an au pair (fixed cost regardless of number of kids, will probably have one forever because both of us work); we historically have used our vehicles for 10+ years after we buy them; and our house is big enough to accommodate all kids until they go to college.  Summers are mostly spent at the neighborhood pool (flat rate for the summer regardless of number of kids), with maybe 1 summer camp for a kid that has a strong interest in something.  All tech devices (computers, phones, etc.) are shared or will be shared -- no kid is getting their own computer or phone unless they pay for it.  We make 90% of meals at home, so I recognize the grocery bill will go up as kids get older/bigger at least. 

So based on this, will our costs increase?  Decrease?  Stay the same?  I feel like I can see food and activity fee expenses going up a bit, but what else am I missing? 

Like so many questions, this one was prompted by vague concerns by my parents.  Ha!  TIA. 

shawndoggy:
Ha, well I can only say that I read in your post many of the misconceptions that we all have at the beginning of the adventure about how "we're going to do it better than everybody else."

Turns out your kids will turn into their own selves, with hopes and dreams and foibles and interests that are going to be different than yours, and if they are lucky, you'll be there to encourage and nurture their pursuits, and if you are lucky they'll invite you in to become a part of their interests.

Me personally, I was an anti-school, anti-social skateboarder in HS who didn't participate in much of anything.  My kids turned out to be completely gung ho school spirit kinda kids who were at school related activities constantly.  My son wrestled in HS ... a sport I never ever had any interest in.  Like at all.  But he LOVED it, and in season we traveled all over with the team.  In the off season he went to a private training gym and did regional/national tournaments.  Which isn't to say that that's what your kids will be doing, but it's an expense I never in a million years could've anticipated when he was 5.

depending where you live, I really don't know whether the "no phone" thing is all that viable.  I know that at my kids' public high schools in a state where we come in last in most anything (i.e. NOT early adopters), much teacher student communication actually occurs via text.  In addition to the social disadvantage (haha they'll tell you all about it when you get there), I can really see not having a phone being an academic disadvantage too.  Which doesn't mean that the kid shouldn't contribute to the cost... just saying that they are so ubiquitous that not having one would be tough if you live in a middle class or above school district. 

Mpenny1001:
By the time you have more than 1 child in upper elementary/middle/high school you will likely need multiple computers.  I have a 13 year old and since 4th grade 100% of her textbooks and about 95% of her homework has been online. Communication from the teacher is done via email or Infinite Campus, and group project meetings are done via Google Hangouts.  Some districts provide devices, but some don't.  Since you'll have multiple kids needing devices at the same time, you'll need to plan on more than one being available.

I agree with PP that your children may need phones, although certainly not fancy or expensive ones.  Many of my child's activities don't have a specific end time, there are no public pay phones around any more, and a cell phone is the only way for her to let me know it's time to pick her up.  She has one friend whose parents don't believe in children having phones and so this friend will use my child's phone to contact her parents.  This is totally fine with me, but it's a hassle for me when I pick my kid up, and then feel like I can't leave the other kid there with no way to get in touch with her parents if she needs to.  Now, you could have a couple of shared family phones that your kids take with them on outings, but you're going to have multiple kids being in different places at the same time so you probably want to plan for multiple shared phones.  We found basic Tracfones worked just fine for texting and calling.

formerlydivorcedmom:
My kids are 8, 10, and 11. In my experience, costs keep increasing.

The two oldest have their own phones because we do not have a home phone, and we occasionally leave them home alone for an hour or so.  We use ting, and they have no data, so at least the monthly fee is not that high.  In middle school, they need some kind of device for a lot of their homework; my oldest was required to do a certain amount of math homework online each week, and she was asked to bring a phone or tablet to school several times per month for in-class activities.

All three of our kids have their own computers (built by my husband from mostly used parts) because he and the kids like to play Minecraft or World of Warcraft together.  (I take them to the library.)

Activities can get very expensive, depending on your children's interests and skill level and your willingness to pay.  Even activities during school hours can be expensive - our district charges rees to be in band or the theater program.

My oldest, for example, does math club competitions through school ($25 per tournament; 8 tournaments a year), is in recreational volleyball ($250-500 per semester - if she joins a club team, that is an additional $700-$1500 per year), and joined the band in school ($150 flat fee per year plus $25 per week in private music lessons; the school provides the instrument).   I also let her sign up for running club at school = $20 per year.  So this one kid costs me about $2k a year in activities for just one sport, one arts, and one academic activity per year. 

The middle kid is mostly uninterested - we pay about $80/semester for her to play recreational soccer.  Plus the cost of cleats, because she outgrows those every semester.

Youngest kid chose only one activity - tae kwan do = $150 per month + extra if he participates in tournaments.

Gas consumption went up as we ferried children around more - although we're starting to be able to carpool now.

These are family priority choices - you may choose differently than we did.

Braces are an expensive nightmare.  Plan for at least half of your kids to need them, and then it will be about $4-5k per kid.

Water bill went up - the girls love hot showers.

We give allowance for chores (outside of the "you live here and must do this list of chores"), and we give more as they get older.

If you take vacations or do local activities like museums or zoos, it gets more expensive when they hit the age for "adult" tickets (usually around 12) and also when you need two rooms instead of one.

Does your local school district have a strict dress code or uniforms?  That increases costs, because then you need "school" clothes AND play clothes.

Shoes.  The two oldest wear women's sizes.  Their feet are still growing, so we have to buy new shoes for each of them 3 times a year.  Luckily, I found a Nike outlet where I can buy tennis shoes half off retail.

There are definitely personal choices you can make to keep costs down, but those depend on your family priorities.

Alf91:
I find the biggest expenses right now (tween-age) are food, cell phone, and activities. That being said, it's nowhere near what daycare costs when kids are little.

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