Author Topic: 'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations  (Read 3566 times)

FIRE Realtor

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 82
  • Location: Minneapolis, MN
    • Frugal Vegan Mom
'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations
« on: November 15, 2019, 08:28:17 AM »
We are a newly blended family, kids ages 5, 8, and 9, this is our first x-mas together. 

I want to set some sort of boundaries around what the kids should expect from us parents as far as gifts.  I hate the mentality of "bigger pile under the tree the better".  Our kids are not lacking for anything, they get completely spoiled with gifts from family members, not only on x-mas but all year round. 

But we're not quite extreme as to say "you're getting one experience gift and that's it". 

I like the old phrase "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read".  Except that doesn't really work because we have libraries, they get clothes as needed year round, and they don't need anything! 

Just typing this out is making me realize I want to do something along the lines they each get one larger awesome gift and the rest is focused on community and giving to others. 

In the past (when I was a single mom) I got away with a few second hand gifts under the tree from Santa, they were still young enough they just wanted something to open.  I feel like now is the time to set the real standard. 

What does everyone else do about kid presents?! 

Cranky

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3842
Re: 'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2019, 11:56:18 AM »
I tried to go with 3 gifts -

Your heart’s desire (that toy that you soooo wanted)
Something I knew you’d love even if you didn’t know it (yet)
Something to read - which might be your very own copy of the book you checked out of the library 10 times

+ a stocking of little treats.

As the kids got older, toys mostly got replaced by clothes and they were often something ephemeral in fashion which I wouldn’t have shelled out for otherwise.

It never seemed excessive, but with 3 kids it still made a satisfying pile.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2019, 04:33:52 PM by Cranky »

kanga1622

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
Re: 'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2019, 03:43:20 PM »
I like the old phrase "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read".
What does everyone else do about kid presents?!

We use the phrase "something you want, something to wear, something to read, and something to share."

Essentially this means that each child gets 3 items to open along with a joint gift.
We can be flexible with descriptions. Something to wear can be pjs, hoodie, slippers, towels with cool designs, belt, swim trunks with a certificate for lessons, etc. Something to read can be a book, a magazine subscription, gift certificate, or even brochures about an experience that will be coming up. Something you want can be dang near anything but my kids have lately gotten Pokemon cards, video games, board games, DVD, toys, Legos, iTunes cards, or organizers for their current shelves/toys.

Some years we recycle things that we have gotten as hand-me-downs from other families or books purchased at the Friends of the Library sale (cheap books for us and fundraiser for the library). We work to customize the items to be something that each kid wants/likes but most times is pretty inexpensive. My youngest was THRILLED to get a belt. He had been asking for one for over a year. My oldest was super excited to receive a free Lego Life magazine subscription that we wrapped up for him.

This year is an expensive year as we decided to get them a video game system to share. But next year we will expect a lighter budget as we can add on to existing items or buy a book in a favorite series that they want to read over and over.

Stockings are trinket items typically. Maybe a single booster pack of Pokemon cards, a couple granola bars (Christmas morning breakfast!), and goofy freebies that we've found throughout the year. This year they are getting logic puzzle books, pocket flashlight, and a tape measure.

habanero

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1145
Re: 'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2019, 05:14:11 PM »
We do stuff they need. As in clothing, skiing equipment outgrown etc. As we have proper winter the "need" for certain stuff happens to coincide at roughly the same time as x-mas. My oldest (10) has zero interest in toys and useless crap anyway which makes it simpler. The younger (7) still expects somthing but one thing does the trick, the rest is "needs". One set of grandparents live close and cover a combination of wants and needs, the other set lives far away and wires money for which we buy needs for the kids.

Im so glad my kids don't really want stuff.

On a side note - never ever lie to kids that you cannot afford <fill in whatever> unless that's actually true. That might cause all kinds of trouble. They generally buy the idea that you instead choose to spend money on <whatever>. If the parents are frugal there is no need to give kids the worry that you are broke unless you actually are.

MrsPennyPincher

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 31
  • Location: USA
Re: 'Tis The Season - Reigning in Gift Expectations
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2019, 05:10:44 AM »
We go with “something they want/something they need/something to wear” approach. For something to wear, I usually give cozy items, like pjs, fuzzy seasonal socks and such. For pile effect, I sometimes pack something small, like a gift card, into a big sparkly box or several nested boxes. We got those with a gift basket a few years ago, and now they make appearance under the tree year after year!

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!