Author Topic: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?  (Read 5736 times)

VaCPA

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #50 on: August 06, 2021, 09:39:44 AM »
Since it seems like there are some posters here with older kids, I do have a question- do the costs really go down, ever? We pay an exorbitant amount on daycare right now (and feel fortunate to have landed spots in a decently well run daycare that isn't a "CL dumpster-fire" or nanny costs, but it's still pricey), but even when looking into [preschool] + [after-school care options] it seems like the overall costs don't go down that much. I'm just wondering if it's realistic to ever think I can get back to a ~65%+ Savings Rate after having kids?
When my kids were very young and I used to lament about how expensive daycare was and how I couldn't wait for them to be school age, I had people tell me the cost doesn't really go down. Because others costs just replace daycare. I could never wrap my head around that. Now, as my youngest is a month from school age, and we've gotten through periods of time having 2 kids in daycare simultaneously I can say our costs are definitely going down. Yes, it is true other costs have gone up like sports/activities. An 8 or 10 year old wants to do far more things that cost $ than a 2 year old. And they eat a little more. But the delta is still way less than paying well over $1,000/mo for daycare or preschool. The people who say their costs didn't decrease maybe weren't spending as much on daycare, perhaps due to family helping out or maybe one of the parents only working PT. We are lucky too because we don't need after-school care because my wife works from home. That is an ongoing cost for alot of dual income households that replaces daycare/preschool. I still think with sound money management people should be able to see a net decrease in expenses.

Or they get into expensive activities, like travel-sports at a competitive level. We did that as a kid and now my niece is on two club teams where the monthly costs exceeds our daycare expenses.  But Iíve got two cousins with similar-aged children and both report they budget around $300/mo for Ďactivitiesí.

Daycare is pretty inescapable for those who work and donít have someone willing to watch your child for free.  Once the kids are 5+ itís more discretionary spending.
True. Moral of the story, steer your kids away from hockey, for the expense and 6am ice times

Just kidding, kind of

BuffaloStache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #51 on: August 06, 2021, 10:04:33 AM »
Thanks for that perspective, @VaCPA  and @nereo . It gives me some hope for the future. While I don't want to shy away from sports/activities, I definitely will try to steer my kids away from the super expensive ones (hockey, golf, etc.) unless they show a real interest.

Also,
@BuffaloStache If you want a laugh, read the (short) section of Jacob's ERE book on having kids. I think there's a whole thread on the ERE forum too where he weighs in. The only perfect parents are those who haven't had kids yet ;)

I had never heard that before- it's hilarious, brilliant, and true!

CNM

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #52 on: August 06, 2021, 10:54:36 AM »
Since it seems like there are some posters here with older kids, I do have a question- do the costs really go down, ever? We pay an exorbitant amount on daycare right now (and feel fortunate to have landed spots in a decently well run daycare that isn't a "CL dumpster-fire" or nanny costs, but it's still pricey), but even when looking into [preschool] + [after-school care options] it seems like the overall costs don't go down that much. I'm just wondering if it's realistic to ever think I can get back to a ~65%+ Savings Rate after having kids?
When my kids were very young and I used to lament about how expensive daycare was and how I couldn't wait for them to be school age, I had people tell me the cost doesn't really go down. Because others costs just replace daycare. I could never wrap my head around that. Now, as my youngest is a month from school age, and we've gotten through periods of time having 2 kids in daycare simultaneously I can say our costs are definitely going down. Yes, it is true other costs have gone up like sports/activities. An 8 or 10 year old wants to do far more things that cost $ than a 2 year old. And they eat a little more. But the delta is still way less than paying well over $1,000/mo for daycare or preschool. The people who say their costs didn't decrease maybe weren't spending as much on daycare, perhaps due to family helping out or maybe one of the parents only working PT. We are lucky too because we don't need after-school care because my wife works from home. That is an ongoing cost for alot of dual income households that replaces daycare/preschool. I still think with sound money management people should be able to see a net decrease in expenses.

I can definitely say the costs go down once they hit elementary school.  Yes, our 4th grader things like summer camp, music lessons, and some sports, but it is totally discretionary and voluntary and much, much less expensive than full-time day care was.

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #53 on: August 06, 2021, 01:10:47 PM »
Since it seems like there are some posters here with older kids, I do have a question- do the costs really go down, ever? We pay an exorbitant amount on daycare right now (and feel fortunate to have landed spots in a decently well run daycare that isn't a "CL dumpster-fire" or nanny costs, but it's still pricey), but even when looking into [preschool] + [after-school care options] it seems like the overall costs don't go down that much. I'm just wondering if it's realistic to ever think I can get back to a ~65%+ Savings Rate after having kids?
When my kids were very young and I used to lament about how expensive daycare was and how I couldn't wait for them to be school age, I had people tell me the cost doesn't really go down. Because others costs just replace daycare. I could never wrap my head around that. Now, as my youngest is a month from school age, and we've gotten through periods of time having 2 kids in daycare simultaneously I can say our costs are definitely going down. Yes, it is true other costs have gone up like sports/activities. An 8 or 10 year old wants to do far more things that cost $ than a 2 year old. And they eat a little more. But the delta is still way less than paying well over $1,000/mo for daycare or preschool. The people who say their costs didn't decrease maybe weren't spending as much on daycare, perhaps due to family helping out or maybe one of the parents only working PT. We are lucky too because we don't need after-school care because my wife works from home. That is an ongoing cost for alot of dual income households that replaces daycare/preschool. I still think with sound money management people should be able to see a net decrease in expenses.

I can definitely say the costs go down once they hit elementary school.  Yes, our 4th grader things like summer camp, music lessons, and some sports, but it is totally discretionary and voluntary and much, much less expensive than full-time day care was.

Here's our experience, and as you see, your mileage will definitely vary. We both worked full time, so we've always needed child care, even when the kids were in school. We don't have the kind of jobs that can be flexed (both work with Europe & Asia) & therefore needed after school care. In elementary school, that's an after school nanny who does a bit of driving. In middle school, that was a nanny who provided zero actual "care", but drove kids to sports. Now that we have two in high school, we're exploring our options. Also, we needed full day summer camps, because no school. Where we live, those are incredibly pricey. Our kids also both play club soccer & another sport each. They also have cell phones, and sweet lord, one is about to get his learners permit. My 14 y.o. grew six inches last year, so I'll let you imagine what it's like to feed two very active teen boys. My grocery bill looks quite a bit different than those with small kids. Traveling at this phase can also be pricey.

We're lucky & have great incomes, but I wouldn't say that the cost drastically decreases post day care. It does drop, but for us, not by a huge amount.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #54 on: August 07, 2021, 05:02:56 AM »
Here's a funny additional cost: bigger pots and pans! Turns out cooking for four is tricky in our pre-kids economically sized cookware :)

BuffaloStache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #55 on: August 23, 2021, 03:44:59 PM »
Related to this thread: I was out in my back alleyway this weekend letting my son ride his bike and pushing my daughter on a tricycle, when we stumbled across some neighbors that we had never met before. This family also had 2 youngsters, with their oldest just a little bit older than ours. I was speaking with the mom and within ~5 minutes the discussion turned to the outrageous costs of childcare in our area. For context, my state has the 7th highest average childcare costs in the nation, and the average cost in my area is higher than the average in the state. Their oldest was starting at the public kindergarten (free unless you need before/afterschool care) this week, and she was super excited about the lower expenses. I thought the way she framed it was interesting: "I've talked to my parents and my childless friends about it, but I just don't think they grasp the concept of how much volume of our overall income goes towards childcare. When I tell them the number, they tell me that isn't so bad- but that's only the weekly number and I have to pay that 52 times in a year!"

Also related, my youngest moved up to the next classroom at her daycare, which comes with a (very small, but still something) lower cost. Score!   

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #56 on: August 23, 2021, 04:15:47 PM »
Related to this thread: I was out in my back alleyway this weekend letting my son ride his bike and pushing my daughter on a tricycle, when we stumbled across some neighbors that we had never met before. This family also had 2 youngsters, with their oldest just a little bit older than ours. I was speaking with the mom and within ~5 minutes the discussion turned to the outrageous costs of childcare in our area. For context, my state has the 7th highest average childcare costs in the nation, and the average cost in my area is higher than the average in the state. Their oldest was starting at the public kindergarten (free unless you need before/afterschool care) this week, and she was super excited about the lower expenses. I thought the way she framed it was interesting: "I've talked to my parents and my childless friends about it, but I just don't think they grasp the concept of how much volume of our overall income goes towards childcare. When I tell them the number, they tell me that isn't so bad- but that's only the weekly number and I have to pay that 52 times in a year!"

Also related, my youngest moved up to the next classroom at her daycare, which comes with a (very small, but still something) lower cost. Score!

Yeah if you tell somebody you spend $20,000 a year on childcare eyes bulge. However if you put it as $400/WK nobody really bats an eye.

These are actual costs for daycares around us. Fortunately we pay that for two thanks to a sliding scale tuition model at a public school, albeit 8-3.

They used to have lower costs for pre k compared to the littles, but they got rid of that difference.

nereo

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #57 on: August 24, 2021, 04:28:02 AM »
Related to this thread: I was out in my back alleyway this weekend letting my son ride his bike and pushing my daughter on a tricycle, when we stumbled across some neighbors that we had never met before. This family also had 2 youngsters, with their oldest just a little bit older than ours. I was speaking with the mom and within ~5 minutes the discussion turned to the outrageous costs of childcare in our area. For context, my state has the 7th highest average childcare costs in the nation, and the average cost in my area is higher than the average in the state. Their oldest was starting at the public kindergarten (free unless you need before/afterschool care) this week, and she was super excited about the lower expenses. I thought the way she framed it was interesting: "I've talked to my parents and my childless friends about it, but I just don't think they grasp the concept of how much volume of our overall income goes towards childcare. When I tell them the number, they tell me that isn't so bad- but that's only the weekly number and I have to pay that 52 times in a year!"

Also related, my youngest moved up to the next classroom at her daycare, which comes with a (very small, but still something) lower cost. Score!

Yeah if you tell somebody you spend $20,000 a year on childcare eyes bulge. However if you put it as $400/WK nobody really bats an eye.

These are actual costs for daycares around us. Fortunately we pay that for two thanks to a sliding scale tuition model at a public school, albeit 8-3.

They used to have lower costs for pre k compared to the littles, but they got rid of that difference.

Thatís why Iíve always listed the daycare costs as annual expenses or (when talking more specifically about budgets) monthly.  Broadly speaking humans are terrible at comprehending ongoing costs. ITís why car dealerships have such success selling people cars by listing the monthly payment and doing all they can to not highlight how much theyíll pay over the 7 year car-loan 

Captain FIRE

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #58 on: August 24, 2021, 07:56:33 AM »
Related to this thread: I was out in my back alleyway this weekend letting my son ride his bike and pushing my daughter on a tricycle, when we stumbled across some neighbors that we had never met before. This family also had 2 youngsters, with their oldest just a little bit older than ours. I was speaking with the mom and within ~5 minutes the discussion turned to the outrageous costs of childcare in our area. For context, my state has the 7th highest average childcare costs in the nation, and the average cost in my area is higher than the average in the state. Their oldest was starting at the public kindergarten (free unless you need before/afterschool care) this week, and she was super excited about the lower expenses. I thought the way she framed it was interesting: "I've talked to my parents and my childless friends about it, but I just don't think they grasp the concept of how much volume of our overall income goes towards childcare. When I tell them the number, they tell me that isn't so bad- but that's only the weekly number and I have to pay that 52 times in a year!"

Also related, my youngest moved up to the next classroom at her daycare, which comes with a (very small, but still something) lower cost. Score!

Yeah if you tell somebody you spend $20,000 a year on childcare eyes bulge. However if you put it as $400/WK nobody really bats an eye.

These are actual costs for daycares around us. Fortunately we pay that for two thanks to a sliding scale tuition model at a public school, albeit 8-3.

They used to have lower costs for pre k compared to the littles, but they got rid of that difference.

Yep.  Although in our case, I'd be delighted if our costs were "only" $20k.  It's almost $50k for our 2 at a daycare center.  (This is not the most expensive daycare around either.)  In home care is generally somewhat cheaper, but it's still pretty dang expensive in my area.

JJ-

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #59 on: August 24, 2021, 09:51:44 AM »
Related to this thread: I was out in my back alleyway this weekend letting my son ride his bike and pushing my daughter on a tricycle, when we stumbled across some neighbors that we had never met before. This family also had 2 youngsters, with their oldest just a little bit older than ours. I was speaking with the mom and within ~5 minutes the discussion turned to the outrageous costs of childcare in our area. For context, my state has the 7th highest average childcare costs in the nation, and the average cost in my area is higher than the average in the state. Their oldest was starting at the public kindergarten (free unless you need before/afterschool care) this week, and she was super excited about the lower expenses. I thought the way she framed it was interesting: "I've talked to my parents and my childless friends about it, but I just don't think they grasp the concept of how much volume of our overall income goes towards childcare. When I tell them the number, they tell me that isn't so bad- but that's only the weekly number and I have to pay that 52 times in a year!"

Also related, my youngest moved up to the next classroom at her daycare, which comes with a (very small, but still something) lower cost. Score!

Yeah if you tell somebody you spend $20,000 a year on childcare eyes bulge. However if you put it as $400/WK nobody really bats an eye.

These are actual costs for daycares around us. Fortunately we pay that for two thanks to a sliding scale tuition model at a public school, albeit 8-3.

They used to have lower costs for pre k compared to the littles, but they got rid of that difference.

Yep.  Although in our case, I'd be delighted if our costs were "only" $20k.  It's almost $50k for our 2 at a daycare center.  (This is not the most expensive daycare around either.)  In home care is generally somewhat cheaper, but it's still pretty dang expensive in my area.

Yeah, if you are too lazy to fill out the sliding scale calculator thing or make two white collar incomes (>$150k 1040 TI) you are paying $20,000 per kid per year at this place. It is both jaw dropping but also not quite enough seeing how these places make things worth with small budgets.

Luz

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #60 on: August 24, 2021, 06:19:31 PM »
Kids are 3 and 1.

We spend about $25 extra in utilities per month for 2 kids. Water is a fixed rate but we keep it cooler/warmer depending on the season and do an extra load of laundry (offsite).

Each kid's birth was about $3,000 OOP. Including a doula. I had a prenatal visual complication with my first that cost about $1,000. Both kids saw a few specialists in the first few months after birth (ENT, Orthopedist, Pediatric Dentist, Urologist...). We paid about $1,000 per kid for those visits. We thankfully haven't had many sick visits to the pediatrician. But did have an earache one weekend and had a $350 urgent care bill. We spend $40 on dentist visits per year that our insurance doesn't cover.

We spend about $75 on consumables per month. $35 for diapers, $15 for wipes, then up to $25 for random stuff like vit d drops, medicine, baby shampoo, toothbrushes...

We spent $20 per month on ingredients for introducing solids from 6-9 months, then our babies just ate what we ate. Our grocery bill went up $25/week once kid#2 started eating regular meals. It was time to raise the amount at that point but we didn't spend more with kid #1.

We spend $200/yr per kid on clothes, shoes, and outdoor gear.

I spent $600 on stuff (crib, bottles, nursing pillow, white noise machine, baby carrier, car seat, etc.) Babies don't need much, but baby gear sure makes parent's lives easier!  I found a kid's consignment after baby #1 was older. Probably could've slashed that amount in half or lower. The registry for baby#1's shower helped.

I spend $50 per baby on postpartum supplies (adult diapers, stool softener, tucks pads, all that good stuff). Prenatals cost me about $150 per pregnancy.

I spent $150 on a diastasis recti/pelvic floor recovery program. It's Mutu Mamas. I highly recommend it. Also spent about $1,000 to work with a postpartum therapist with baby #1 Because of COVID, I continued sessions with her via telehealth for free. I knew that becoming a parent was a huge, huge transition and I wanted support. Money well spent!

We rarely eat out, but that costs an extra $10-$20 a pop.

You have to buy more airplane tickets after they turn 2.

We didn't increase house or vehicles.

I stay home, so no daycare. But the opportunity cost is about $20,000, not counting lost retirement savings etc. Oh, and I'm spending about $1,000 on home preschool - curriculum, books, supplies, outings-








mountainmama

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #61 on: August 27, 2021, 11:37:29 AM »
I have a 6yo and 9yo. Costs definitely go down at this age compared to preschool costs. (We paid about $13k/year per child.) But there are still expenses for care so that I can work.
$90/week aftercare. (Not using this right now, due to COVID.)
$100/month swimteam for 9yo.
$400/year dance classes for 6yo. (This is a deal!)
$500 ski passes
$200/wk avg each for summer camps (so I can work!) = $4000/year

We still get lots of clothes hand-me-downs, but finding appropriate shoes used or free is really difficult.
$300/year shoes

There are lots of other little costs that I haven't quantified. (I bet my gas costs would go down by half without children.)

Captain FIRE

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #62 on: August 27, 2021, 11:59:03 AM »
We still get lots of clothes hand-me-downs, but finding appropriate shoes used or free is really difficult.
$300/year shoes

Woah, how are you getting to $300/year for shoes? 

charis

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #63 on: August 27, 2021, 12:27:46 PM »
I don't find it difficult to find like new kids shoes at thrift shops. I myself have donated several pairs that my kids didn't wear before outgrowing. But you have to pop in on a regular basis to snag the right size and the next sizes up. We still buy one or two new pairs per year on sale for around $25/pair for back to school or a special occasion.

ETA, but we do spend $ on specialty shoes for dance/sports. And kids are our biggest line item with day/after care, summer camps, activities/music lessons, and a chronic health condition.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2021, 01:05:52 PM by charis »

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #64 on: August 27, 2021, 12:32:07 PM »
We still get lots of clothes hand-me-downs, but finding appropriate shoes used or free is really difficult.
$300/year shoes

Woah, how are you getting to $300/year for shoes?

Not OP, but I'll chime in. We spend near that amount, and have two teens. I'd summarize it to say: Their feet grow quickly, & they play sports that require sports specific shoes. Soccer cleats typically last for one season only, and they play 2-3 seasons/each. For the winter, you also want a second pair, because cleats don't dry between games. They also run, and good running shoes are pricey.

Ways we save money:
-Buy Nike gift cards on sale
-Shop primarily at Nike outlet, and look for current sizes as well as next sizes up
-Shop in Oregon (no sales tax) when visiting family

To the point of passing them on, if they outgrow before the shoes wear out (I'd say this happens about 1/3 of the time), I pass them on to my local Buy Nothing group, or save for our soccer club's cleat exchange.

JJ-

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #65 on: August 27, 2021, 12:32:30 PM »
We still get lots of clothes hand-me-downs, but finding appropriate shoes used or free is really difficult.
$300/year shoes

Woah, how are you getting to $300/year for shoes?
It sounds like a lot. I'm not sure if it's really outrageous or not for 2 growing kids. I think about when I was a kid I grew a shoe size a year until I hit 14s at age 15. I wonder if my parents bought me new pairs of shoes every year and if I needed something more than sneakers (maybe dance shoes in OPs case) they may not have been the cheapest.

I'm still confused FYI :)

mountainmama

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #66 on: August 27, 2021, 06:25:53 PM »
I just looked back to see how we got to $300:

$60 hiking boots for 9yo (He wore these all winter instead of sneakers)
$45 sneakers for 9yo
$35 Chacos for 9yo
$10 canvas slip on sneakers for 9yo
$100 ski boots for 6yo (This is probably why it's so high and won't occur every year. Maybe it shouldn't have gone into shoes. Adjustable sized ones for kids that will last several seasons. Skiing is not very mustachian, but we love it and saves our sanity in the winter.)
$25 ballet slippers for 6yo
$30 used winter boots for 6yo

6yo got all other shoes as hand-me-downs. Could we have cut back somewhere? Maybe? All of the purchases were used a lot. The 9yo is pretty picky (about comfort, not style.) I do some shopping at thrift stores, but I don't have time to go in as much as it takes to find all the deals.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2021, 06:32:04 PM by mountainmama »

Steeze

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #67 on: August 27, 2021, 07:32:50 PM »
I believe it, when I was in 7th-12th grade I was going through a pair of shoes every month or so during the summer from skateboarding. Probably $50+ a month 20 years ago. Then again I had to buy my own shoes, so my parents got off easy.

JJ-

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #68 on: August 27, 2021, 07:50:34 PM »
I just looked back to see how we got to $300:

$60 hiking boots for 9yo (He wore these all winter instead of sneakers)
$45 sneakers for 9yo
$35 Chacos for 9yo
$10 canvas slip on sneakers for 9yo
$100 ski boots for 6yo (This is probably why it's so high and won't occur every year. Maybe it shouldn't have gone into shoes. Adjustable sized ones for kids that will last several seasons. Skiing is not very mustachian, but we love it and saves our sanity in the winter.)
$25 ballet slippers for 6yo
$30 used winter boots for 6yo

6yo got all other shoes as hand-me-downs. Could we have cut back somewhere? Maybe? All of the purchases were used a lot. The 9yo is pretty picky (about comfort, not style.) I do some shopping at thrift stores, but I don't have time to go in as much as it takes to find all the deals.

This doesn't surprise me at all, and I wouldn't feel bad about it. Shoes happen.

CNM

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #69 on: August 30, 2021, 02:00:48 PM »
That sounds like a very reasonable expense, @mountainmama .  I'm sure that we spend just as much, if not more, for our 2 kids per year. (I don't break out shoes from other things, so I can't exactly tell.)
Our kids usually need:
2 pairs of sneakers each- sneakers are used a lot and wear out or are outgrown quickly
1 pair of cleats, sometimes 2 if the oldest has a growth spurt, like he did last year!
1 pair of sandals, if not 2, each
1 pair of winter boots each
1-2 pair of "nicer shoes" meaning, not sneakers, each

It adds up! And I rarely am able to find any used shoes in good condition.  Sometimes I can for my 2.5 year old, but when the kids get older (like my 9 year old) used shoes are usually too worn to be any good.

To go back, briefly, to the childcare expense-- My 2.5 year old is going to preschool/daycare starting next week.  Assuming all goes well and it's not closed or canceled, we are expecting to spend at least 60% less on care for her, which is a big drop!

BuffaloStache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #70 on: September 02, 2021, 10:19:10 AM »
...
To go back, briefly, to the childcare expense-- My 2.5 year old is going to preschool/daycare starting next week.  Assuming all goes well and it's not closed or canceled, we are expecting to spend at least 60% less on care for her, which is a big drop!

Congrats and good luck! Be sure to report back here after ~1-2 months to let us know if you are really seeing a drop in overall expenses.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #71 on: October 06, 2021, 09:51:38 AM »
Our 3yo and 18mo have one pair of shoes* and one pair of wellies at a time, which we have mostly been able to buy used. But as kids grow they just end up having more different kinds of shoes for different things. We're going to a wedding next year and no one will bat an eyelid if our very young children wear their regular shoes, but it would be weird for a (say) ten year old to attend a wedding and not wear formal shoes. Likewise if they do any kind of sport, or if they have a school uniform (as almost every British school does). And if you have variations in climate that mean you can't wear one pair of shoes year-round.

So I can easily see spending $300 on shoes in a single year for two growing children who need more than one kind of shoes.

*Not sure how to describe them, but this kind of thing: https://www.clarks.co.uk/c/Rex-Play-Toddler/p/26161440

CNM

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #72 on: October 07, 2021, 11:31:04 AM »
Reporting back a month later.

Prior monthly childcare costs for toddler: $3,400 for nanny, not including additional payroll tax paid quarterly

Current childcare costs for toddler: $1000 for preschool, $800 for nanny (not including payroll tax)

Older child's costs have remained the same, as he goes and has been going to public school for quite some time now.

BuffaloStache

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #73 on: October 30, 2021, 10:05:37 PM »
Thanks, @CNM . Seems like you actually are realizing a significant decrease in childcare costs. I know it's only been ~2 months now, but did you have plans for that newly freed up money, and are you sticking to it? Or are you finding it hard to do? I ask because on the front of it, it feels to me like this shift (reduction in childcare costs) is something that is completely different than the temptation of lifestyle creep. I'm nervous that I'll want to put the extra $$/month towards something for the kid, and/or something that makes our family's lives a little more convenient -vs- actually saving it (like I would've before my kids were born). Does that even make sense? Maybe it's just me?

JJ-

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #74 on: October 31, 2021, 08:32:27 AM »
Thanks, @CNM . Seems like you actually are realizing a significant decrease in childcare costs. I know it's only been ~2 months now, but did you have plans for that newly freed up money, and are you sticking to it? Or are you finding it hard to do? I ask because on the front of it, it feels to me like this shift (reduction in childcare costs) is something that is completely different than the temptation of lifestyle creep. I'm nervous that I'll want to put the extra $$/month towards something for the kid, and/or something that makes our family's lives a little more convenient -vs- actually saving it (like I would've before my kids were born). Does that even make sense? Maybe it's just me?

We have a few more years of daycare left and once that's done we should be able to FIRE. In this process we've outline a line item amount for activities for them plus funded 529s for what we wanted to contribute to college if needed.

If you're feeling pulled to save for them for something I'd suggest doing the hard work to identify it and then save for it.

For mentality about the money spent on your kids vs money for your kids, our perspective on daycare was it was always it was a benefit for us and for them. The separation was good and neither of us are fit to be a FT parent. It makes understanding that just because you spend the money because  you have kids is not the same as saving for your kids. Another way, if you did not have to pay for daycare, would you sock away $3k /mo for your kids future? Not us for sure.

marion10

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #75 on: October 31, 2021, 06:55:22 PM »
Itís been a long time- my kids are 33 and 30 and, as a friend of mine says, out of my pockets. Daycare is a big expense and it does go down a bit once they get older- but it doesnít go away. Even when they are in school, you have before and after school care, vacations, summer, so many institute days! More people work from home now, so that can cut down on some expenses when older.

One thing is we stopped thinking of daycare as coming from my ( the momís) salary but as an expense shared by both parents. I worked part time for a while and with daycare for two, you could say, it wasnít ď worth itĒ. But I gaining experience, 401 k matches - so when I went back full time, it was pretty seamless.

And when they are larger, they eat more and they canít usually be clothed exclusively with hand me downs and there are activities- music lessons, etc. we never did travel sports- even if our kids were talented, I doubt I would have spent the money.

As for gendered clothing, I took all my daughterís pink baby clothes ( except dresses) , took a seam ripper, took the bows off and put everything in the washer with two packets of navy blue rit dye- voila, socially acceptable gendered clothing.

CNM

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #76 on: November 01, 2021, 10:42:35 AM »
Thanks, @CNM . Seems like you actually are realizing a significant decrease in childcare costs. I know it's only been ~2 months now, but did you have plans for that newly freed up money, and are you sticking to it? Or are you finding it hard to do? I ask because on the front of it, it feels to me like this shift (reduction in childcare costs) is something that is completely different than the temptation of lifestyle creep. I'm nervous that I'll want to put the extra $$/month towards something for the kid, and/or something that makes our family's lives a little more convenient -vs- actually saving it (like I would've before my kids were born). Does that even make sense? Maybe it's just me?
Well the childcare cost savings isn't specifically earmarked for any one thing.  But we are in the process of doing some minor updating and completing deferred maintenance on our house, so having some additional wiggle room in the monthly budget is nice. My Roth savings has gone up a bit, as I put extra dough at the end of the month in there. 

Endo1030

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Re: Annual Costs of Raising a Preschooler?
« Reply #77 on: November 04, 2021, 04:25:22 AM »
The framework for the Building Back Better bill does include a provision to cap childcare costs at 7% of income, if you are below a certain threshold of your state's median income.  It's not signed into law yet, and it's not exactly clear how it will be implemented though.  Something to consider though!