Author Topic: Spending an embarrassing amount of money on childcare  (Read 7282 times)

startingout

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Re: Spending an embarrassing amount of money on childcare
« Reply #50 on: March 07, 2022, 01:37:36 AM »
Thanks for all the thought-provoking comments. I thought I'd provide an update. DH and I agreed to try out our plan of nanny plus private preschool for a year. We'll re-evaluate after a year. He still hasn't applied for any new jobs yet, but as some have pointed out above, we could probably budget better to afford things.

To answer some of the questions above, the part-time preschool costs under $15k a year, so most of our expenses would be the nanny's salary and payroll taxes. My in-laws do help us out financially a bit, not because we need them to or ask them to, but because they insist and it makes them happy. I'm fine with taking their opinions on preschool into account because of it. DH and I have separate financial accounts, so I don't know our exact earnings or expenditures. We never had to track them, until now.

I'm also the only one who's interested in FIRE. DH has said I could quit my job to be a stay at home parent if I really want to pursue the FIRE life, but I would rather work and spend most of my earnings on childcare for now. Our nanny is truly awesome, and would make a better stay-at-home parent than either my husband or me.

We do not have any savings earmarked for the kids' college tuitions. DH thinks that college may not be necessary in 20 years, or it may cost a fraction of what it does now due an explosion in online schools. I do think college is worth saving for in principle. But my own career has nothing to do with my degree, and I in fact have multiple coworkers and superiors who never finished college.

I'm embarrassed by the amount we'll be spending, but I'm too lazy to find other alternatives. For example, replacing our nanny with daycare would mean a lot more work for us every single day.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2022, 01:48:13 AM by startingout »

Chrissy

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Re: Spending an embarrassing amount of money on childcare
« Reply #51 on: March 13, 2022, 05:56:49 PM »
Hi @startingout !  We're about 3 years ahead of you, but I can totally commiserate!  We're in Chicago and the child care costs are staggering.  For context, we make ~$220k/yr and save ~$75k/yr (34%).  We did a nanny-share with my sister for two years + the start of Montessori.  When the 2nd kiddo arrived we transitioned to full-time Montessori infant care & daycare ($42k/yr).  We're now transitioning to a play-based parochial preschool + parochial elementary school ($20k/yr, w00t!).  Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

I found daycare to be far less work.  We had FOUR nannies the first year.  The good one became unhappy, two were trouble, and the last one was just okay.  I was always counseling them, managing them, or interviewing them!  Daycare feeds my kids organic food for 2nd breakfast, lunch, and snack, all included in the price.  They launder the accident clothing!  They're only closed 5 days a year!  They offer onsite piano lessons, soccer lessons, cooking lessons, and, if your kid needs help, you can arrange for the occupational/physical therapists can do the appointments onsite.  Also, the nannies could give us ~9hrs/day, but daycare was open 12hrs/day.  We never used 12 hours in a day, but it was nice to have early hours available when we had a baby who was getting up with the dawn, and later hours on days when work ran late.

My sister stuck with the nanny + preschool model.  They've gone through additional nannies since then.  For awhile, they used Care.com to find coverage when their nanny took vacation.  Then, they paid for a membership to a place that would send emergency nannies... which then were paid additionally.  They're doing part-time, Catholic, play-based preschool ($7k/yr) and public elementary.  The public elementary school is not working for their oldest, so, if they go back to Catholic it will be $13k/yr for both their kids, and they will STILL have nanny expenses, because they also have an infant!

startingout

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Re: Spending an embarrassing amount of money on childcare
« Reply #52 on: March 14, 2022, 08:33:59 PM »
@Chrissy, the daycare you chose sounds awesome! None of the daycares or preschools close to us provide kids with breakfast or lunch. A few offer parents the "privilege" of buying a warm lunch for their child for an additional $4.50 a day. One preschool even fined parents $15 for each lunch they forgot to pack or order in advance. The preschool we selected for next year makes parents take turns buying the snacks for the class.

Also, the only Montessori preschool remotely close to us that also accepted infants charged over $31k a year for a toddler. I didn't bother asking what they charged for infants because I assumed it would be more, and the commute would have been unmanageable for us. So if we really wanted to try out a Montessori school, the baby would have to be shuttled to a separate daycare.

We're lucky that the nanny we found on Care.com has stuck with us for 2.5 years and counting. We tried to do a nanny share with her last year, but she surprisingly turned our offer down even for a decent raise. Our friends with babies in daycare have had difficult times during the pandemic due to constant closures, quarantining, COVID test requirements, and regular sick days. So at this point we're scared to experiment too much with childcare options.

My mom has offered to babysit for cheap, but she believes in disciplining toddlers with light slaps and threatening babies and young kids with abandonment if they don't obey, so that's a no-go from my point of view.

zhelud

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Re: Spending an embarrassing amount of money on childcare
« Reply #53 on: March 20, 2022, 10:00:00 AM »
As a former daycare treasurer and daycare parent, my perspective is that they key to quality daycare is caregiver pay and benefits. This is the top expense for any daycare, so if you're comparing the "fancy" and more expensive program to the inexpensive one, that most likely accounts for the difference in tuition (unless the inexpensive program is government subsidized).

To put it more bluntly, a daycare program that can't pay its caregivers as much as the local fast food chains will not attract good staff, and will have very high turnover. Caregiving is not a hobby for people who love children- it's a job that has to pay the bills.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!