1a. Pretty much. I'd reverse the order in step 1 thus: "Disable automatic dividend reinvestment on VTIAX in all accounts. Wait 30 days from my last purchase of VTIAX or any solely international index fund."
1b. You need to make sure you've set your cost basis method for VTIAX to specific ID before selling in step 2. Also, in order to be able to use specific ID as a cost basis method, it will be necessary that you have not already sold any VTIAX using the average cost basis method (which is the default at Vanguard I think).
Personally I'd wait 31 days in step 1 also. Finally, apparently spouses can trigger wash sales with each other, so if you're married, don't have your spouse be buying any VTIAX either.
Oh, and the realized gains in VIG (your step 2) can happen any time this tax year. Realizing gains doesn't come into play with the wash sale rule; the only timing that comes into play with wash sales is purchases and sales of the same or substantially identical shares within the 60-ish day window surrounding the realization of the capital loss (which is step 3 in your plan). So for example, if you do steps 1, 3, 4, and 5 in that order and in that timing, you could sell the VIG today or in December and you'd end up with the same tax result. Although, of course, the price of VIG might vary so your $4500 unrealized loss in VIG might go up or down. Given that, you might want to sell all of your VIG first, so you know what your actual VIG gain will be so you can target that same loss in step 3.
2. The IRS term is "substantially identical", not "substantially similar". They've never defined it exactly, but if you're buying a target date fund like Vanguard Target Date 2035 or whatever, I would think that would be very safe and not a problem.
ETA: We're ignoring short term vs. long term here, but the way capital gains and losses work, all of your 2022 transactions will offset each other eventually on your Schedule D, so for this purpose you can ignore ST vs. LT.
ETA2: Of course, you'll get a 1099-B from Vanguard reflecting those sales, and you'll have to import or put that on your tax return next spring.