I would disagree that gold got replaced by crypto - the market is a big place and the appetite for alternative investments has room for both. Gold has value because it can act as currency in times of stress. During WWII, the US took payment for goods in the form of gold, because the GBP might be worthless if the Germans won. I would bet if Brazil wanted to buy F-15s the US would accept payment in gold, but would tell Brazil to pound sand if they tried to pay with the Real. Crypto has the potential to be a hard currency like gold, but I don't know which crypto it is going to be in 10 years - so it is not investible to me right now.
Personally I consider "crypto" a madness/religion. Perhaps crypto2.0, that is backed by governments, will take over at some moment (but would not be much speculatable/investable since should be stable, more like for wealth preservation than growth).
But if there is the religion/faith growing, then the sentiment affects negatively the gold future IMHO. Like kicking contest with a horse.
I hear you about relying too much on back testing. Going 100% equities is just hoping the past will repeat as well. In the case of all the 100% VTI posters on the forum, they are focusing on the past 10-12 years.
I don't think that static 100% VTI for very long term allocation is "fully efficient" (but is not bad per se). But for the next, i guess, few years it seems a solid bet. "Guaranteed TINA"
https://markets.businessinsider.com/news/stocks/stock-market-outlook-2022-fundstrat-tom-lee-upside-3-reasons-2021-12I think that some Gold might have its place as one of the AA for someone that does not have income anymore to protect against SORR. At this moment several additional AA (credit lines, REIT, Gold, some bonds etc) would make sense, but the primary reason to counter SORR. I would not call it investment per se.
I know that you don't like bonds, but this is a general statement:
Investing definition:
"Expend money with the expectation of
achieving a profit or material result by putting it into financial plans, shares, or property, or by using it to develop a commercial venture."
Having bonds in general for the next foreseeable future does not fulfill the definition IMHO.
Knowing the history 100% is valuable, just extrapolating it could be very questionable.
UPDATE, adding anecdote:
A friend of mine, in the last 10 years, has put all his $ to hold physical gold. Some of it as jewelry...
He loved to talk about it every time. He really considered himself a (smart) investor.
Once i asked why they just not get VTI. His wife got upset. She said that once they bought a stock of a company a friend of theirs recommended. Too upset to share details. They lost almost all, and sweared never get involved in stock market ever since.