I always thought it would be funny to juxtapose market reporting with the weather report.
"In weather today, the temperature soared by 100%, as the market felt the sun was out during the day. This follows an overnight decline of 45%, as things looked pretty dark, according to Merrill Lynch chief weather analyst."
Or...
"The market dropped .1% today, since 50 points really doesn't mean much anymore. Tomorrow, it's going to be pretty much the same." (Here, I am trying to imagine the market as the weather in San Diego)