What, exactly, is this "discretionary match"? Is it based on how well the company does? Is a match guaranteed and just the percentage changes, or is there a chance there's no match at all?
Do you know what options there are within the plan? TransAmerica is the 401k provider, but you should have some funds within the TransAmerica platform to choose among. When you're comparing fees to the 0.04% you can get at Vanguard, EVERYTHING seems really expensive, but depending on how high the fees are on your funds, it's possibly/probably still worth it to contribute for the tax savings, especially if there is a match.
Finally, do you have any other retirement accounts to contribute to? IRA, Roth IRA, another 401k through your employer? If those have less expensive options, you may be better off maxing out those accounts before contributing above the match % to your husband's 401k.