fees are just another part of the puzzle along with so many other parameters . worrying just about the lowest fees fees can be meaningless if you get the other parameters wrong .
as i said in other threads no one gets those index returns .
we all buy in at different points , we add money at different times , we rebalance at different prices , in my own case i use managed funds but use them through their sweet spots and swap some from time to time , even tax structures vary between us .
i always think of the boglehead who pounds the car salesman in to submission for the best price ,then he beats up the loan officer for the best terms , then he trades the car in wholesale for the next one .
in the mean time grandma pays a bit more , has higher finance terms but sells the car privately and ends up ahead . grandma wins in the end .
at the end it is all about the mix of parameters and your own portfolio . some things you will get more correct then other things and in the end you will get a balance of all those things .