Author Topic: Are you vindictive?  (Read 9540 times)

mrgrump

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Are you vindictive?
« on: December 08, 2014, 09:12:53 PM »
My family is about a year into the mustachian life but things have progressed very well. We still have some "bad habits" a McMansion, (15 years @ 3.375%) season tickets to sports and two newer cars (only 1 loan @ 0%). But we max out two 401ks, are sons college fund and still invest upwards of $1500 a month into index funds with the goal of never touching it until we FIRE. All sounds good to me at least.

At Easter a cousin was over criticizing the fact I was drinking a beer and bemoaning the fact the world would be better off without it.  Anyways it irked me so I hammered him on his "vice" coca-cola and found that he drinks 3-4 a day out of the vending machine at work, out to eat or at home. The clown is terrible with money. So in a fit of grumpiness I signed up at loyal3 and started purchasing $100 a month in KO. Figuring he spent about this on his habit. My small investment has climbed to about $850 since then.

So....am I a petty jerk that should dissolve my investment and wrap it into my other investments or keep investing in KO so I can ar least profit off of his vice?

The patient asshat that resides inside me wants to keep purchasing it so when my oldest son (currently 2) goes to college I can rub it in the face of my cousin that this "coke habit" paid my sons tuition....

Yeah I know....not healthy to hold a grudge. But has anyone else bought shares in something for purely vindictive reasons? I am not really looking for the math or logic behind tthe purchase, rather, if I am the only crazy person out here

MikeBear

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2014, 09:26:44 PM »
Lemmings are always happy following the crowd, right up and after leaping off the cliff into the ocean to drown. Spending time pointing out to your relative that he IS a lemming, is what irks them more than anything. Sometimes you need to "sneak around" bringing up the issue of Mustashianism, and hold back on the few critters that aren't ready to change their ways.

NOT backing off when you get a warning growl, makes you vindictive, lol.

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2014, 09:49:09 PM »
You're putting aside an extra 100 in a blue-chip investment because your cousin made you mad. You'll benefit, and you haven't harmed your cousin. Sounds like you turned your negative feelings into a positive!

In 16 years, you can decide whether to rub Cousin's nose in it or not. Meanwhile, it's OK to enjoy the fantasy as much as you want.

marty998

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2014, 10:03:58 PM »
Agree with NoraLenderbee.

This is actually a good way of being smug and not actually ruining your relationship with your cousin.

deborah

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2014, 12:05:33 AM »
So you are saving up an "I told you so" for 16 years? I doubt you'll ever use it - your cousin will develop diabetes tomorrow and have all sorts of complications and be dead before you can! However, it is completely badass, and each time he comes up with another stupid irritating comment, you can either be quietly smug (guess what I'm saving up for you), or go and get something else that is tied to another stupid habit of his.

Many years ago, I was given six months notice that I was being retrenched. During that time, I became eligible for the next round of the employee share plan (you call it stock divestment in the US?), and promptly applied for and got those shares. My co-workers couldn't understand why I would do this when the company was turfing me out. I couldn't understand their reasoning - I was being handed extra money, why would I knock it back?

ScroogeMcDutch

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2014, 05:03:17 AM »
This thread made me chuckle. Does that make you the "coke dealer" and enabling his habit? :)

I don't see how the topic of you having a beer and him drinking coke are related though. Being mustachian doesn't mean you cannot afford any luxury anywhere, just that you know what you are spending for it (and considering that spend worth it, in light of the goals you have). it is more about making a conscious decision to consume now, or to consume later.

mveill1

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2014, 05:23:34 AM »
Personally, I think that to feel that strongly about a pretty pointless and petty argument is the problem here; not that you're investing in KO.

If I was the cousin, who comes across as a bit of a jerk, and I was reading this blog and recognized you, I'd be chuckling to myself while thinking of new ways to piss you off to see what I could make you do.

So if this motivated you to save, which is a good thing, that's great, but I'd make sure not to do things solely to be able to say "I told you so" later on. Your cousin won't care.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 05:35:10 AM by mveill1 »

Neustache

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2014, 06:00:36 AM »
Love it!  I just gave to an organization that a family member was openly critical of, for a reason that I think is crap.  It was my way of not getting into it with her and actively supporting an org she didn't agree with on something that I find to be minor.  I don't mean it in a vindictive way, but maybe it was a bit.  Ha!

Cromacster

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2014, 06:16:17 AM »
Just have him watch

How Beer Saved the World

and tell him to take his coke and shove it.

BlueHouse

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2014, 06:29:03 AM »
I am not vindictive and I am incapable of holding a grudge. In fact, when people do something that I should get mad about, I can rarely remember the digression a week or two after the fact.  I think that makes me a healthier person (comparing to myself if it were different, not meaning to compare to you).
I'm capable of ending friendships because I don't like how I feel when I'm around that person, but I rarely remember the exact transgression and I kind of like it that way. Especially for family!  I don't surround myself with people who remember small things like that and hold on to those feelings for weeks or months or years. It's negative and I don't like it in my life.
So I would just say that if you're happy about doing it and not really holding a grudge, then fine. But if it's eating away at you inside or if you lose sleep, then find a way to let it go.
My grandfather used to say "you don't save string, do you?"  And my grandmother would always respond ""oh yes I'd do! ". But she was a nasty bitter woman.

Le Barbu

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2014, 06:59:29 AM »
Last year, BIL told us how much he likes to get new cars. He drives a "old" Mazda 3 (2011, 35,000 miles) and want to trade it for a F-150 crew cab. Hi wife said that they think about buying a 33ft. caravan to travel with the kids. The F-150 will definetly be useful then!

I figured out how much this plan will hit their family budget (they bring about the same than us) and then, increased my mortgage monthly paiement by the same ammount. It brings my amortisation from 15 to 5 years.

skyrefuge

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2014, 09:54:39 AM »
But has anyone else bought shares in something for purely vindictive reasons?

Letting such strong emotional reactions guide your investment decisions sounds like a brilliant way to lose a lot of money in the long run.

J'onn J'onzz

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2014, 10:11:04 AM »
Love it!  I just gave to an organization that a family member was openly critical of, for a reason that I think is crap.  It was my way of not getting into it with her and actively supporting an org she didn't agree with on something that I find to be minor.  I don't mean it in a vindictive way, but maybe it was a bit.  Ha!

Please tell me you made that donation in that persons name so they will be getting a thank you card or something from the organization.


pzxc

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2014, 10:12:08 AM »
Regardless of whether the investment goes up or down, harboring a grudge / hurt feelings and implementing a multi-decade passive aggressive "I told you so" plan can hurt you psychologically.

You need to learn to let things go.

Yes, your cousin was very hypocritical for bitching about you drinking a beer when he drinks multiple cans of Cocacola every day.
Surely this isn't your first encounter with a hypocrite?

I'm only 34, but one thing I've already learned at this relatively early point in my life is that you've gotta have different standards for yourself than you do other people.  You need higher standards for yourself than you do others, or else you will let yourself fall into the traps everyone else falls into.  But you need lower standards for them than you hold for yourself, or else you will be constantly frustrated by their poor decisions.

If you're a person that's going to make something out of yourself, and have a good life, you have to accept that the majority of the people you know aren't going to do that, and probably are going to find various ways to delude themselves along the way so that THEY don't feel too bad about their own lives.

Being vindictive will, in the general case, only bring you down by maintaining a source of negativity in your life/thoughts
« Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 10:18:25 AM by pzxc »

arebelspy

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2014, 11:09:23 AM »
I don't do things that don't benefit my life.

So... no.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
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Mr.Chipper77

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2014, 11:17:29 AM »
In my opinion if you feel you need to be vindictive you let something get to you that probably just as easily could of been avoided.  Its not worth it..........

Metta

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2014, 11:31:09 AM »
Yeah I know....not healthy to hold a grudge. But has anyone else bought shares in something for purely vindictive reasons? I am not really looking for the math or logic behind tthe purchase, rather, if I am the only crazy person out here

I don't know if I would call it vindictive but...

My parents used to really hassle me and my husband for being vegetarian and it made me mad, especially when my father used to impugn my husband's masculinity because he was vegetarian. The harrassment really got out of hand for a long time and it was mean-spirited. My husband doesn't believe if family squabbles so he was polite through it and prevented me from fighting back on his behalf.

When the time came for us to buy individual stocks, I searched for vegan stocks and eventually bought Tofutti (vegan ice cream and other products). I would comfort myself whenever my parents were extra-mean that I was creating a vegetarian future. I also gave money to the Vegetarian Resource Group to fund educational efforts.

I didn't use it in arguments with my parents, but it was a comfort to me when things went bad. It took years of rather flat returns before my husband was able to convince me that we should sell Tofutti for something else. But by then my parents had mellowed. We sold Tofutti for a very small profit, so it wasn't a complete waste. I don't regret doing something that prevented me from going ballistic and making our family relationships worse.

Le Barbu

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2014, 11:42:56 AM »
Yeah I know....not healthy to hold a grudge. But has anyone else bought shares in something for purely vindictive reasons? I am not really looking for the math or logic behind tthe purchase, rather, if I am the only crazy person out here


We sold Tofutti for a very small profit, so it wasn't a complete waste. I don't regret doing something that prevented me from going ballistic and making our family relationships worse.

So...You sold that Tofutti stock but are you enjoing meatloaf flavored icecream again or you kept the habit of asparagus sorbet for a threat ?

(just kidding)

surfhb

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2014, 12:31:07 PM »
You accomplish nothing but increased your investment risk in a company which people are becoming more and more aware of the dangers of their products

I suggest you learn how to let things slide and accept people for who they are :)

mrgrump

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #19 on: December 09, 2014, 03:06:14 PM »
I thought I would reply to clear up the story a little bit as well as answer some of the observations. 

The cousin and I get along for the most part even though we have very different views on both money and beer. I don't really attempt to sway him toward saving money because it would be easier to teach my 2 year old to drive. Alas, this leaves me biting my tongue as I hear his bimonthly sermon on living for the moment.

Maybe saying "grudge" was poor wording. His drinking habits, and him for the most part have little to no impact on my life. I did take satisfaction in watching him slug down 4 cokes on turkey day and wondering what that meant for my meager stake in KO.

Do lemmings growl?

Has anyone other than Tofutti girl done something similar? The donation story was good!

For those that hinted they don't enjoy saying "I told you so". Lying isn't healthy...

frugalnacho

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2014, 10:49:53 AM »
I don't do things that don't benefit my life.

So... no.

So...just selfish?

arebelspy

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2014, 11:36:19 AM »
I don't do things that don't benefit my life.

So... no.

So...just selfish?

Definitely.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

OracleOfAtown

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2014, 12:27:51 PM »
I have a co worker who always smokes outside and it trickles into the building.  Im always telling him to get away and that for people who don't smoke it's really annoying.  So i decided to buy a bunch of Altria stock.  Every three months when I get paid my dividend I thank him. 

gimp

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #23 on: December 10, 2014, 12:40:17 PM »
This is one of the funniest threads here. Thank you.

mrgrump

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2014, 06:01:37 PM »
Should I make another "vindictive" purchase?

The lady next to me at work buys her lunch on a daily basis from anyone of several chains near us, Chipotle, McD's, BK and the sorts...usually dropping between $6-8 a day. Conservatively, this is about $120 a month. She often bemoans the fact she has no money mentioning high health costs and other expenses. I have mentioned in passing my lunch is usually between $2-3 other than my splurge at Chipotle on Fridays. Today she was complaining about money as she scarfed down her lunch from Moe's Southwest Grill, failing to see the irony of her money crunch and lunch order. She also has 2 personal iPhones for whatever reason. That was a completely useless tidbit but oh well.

Soo.....I was looking on Loyal3 and noticed BK, McD's and a few others were listed that she commonly frequents.

If you could make one stock purchase for purely vindictive reasons what would it be and why?

Lowerbills

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #25 on: December 11, 2014, 05:46:55 AM »
Asshat cousin has 5 Apple devices - I'll show you.
Asshat smokes a pack a day.
Asshat eats shit food.
Asshat is in poor health.
Asshat is in debt up to his eyeballs.
Asshat drives his gas guzzler too much.

Wow! You own shares of Apple, Phillip Morris, McDonald's, Johnson and Johnson, Wells Fargo and Exxon!

Nice blue chip portfolio Mr. Buffett would be proud of.  Or just stocks we all own in the S&P.  Maybe we should look into this further :)



Metta

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2014, 06:12:15 PM »
Yeah I know....not healthy to hold a grudge. But has anyone else bought shares in something for purely vindictive reasons? I am not really looking for the math or logic behind tthe purchase, rather, if I am the only crazy person out here


We sold Tofutti for a very small profit, so it wasn't a complete waste. I don't regret doing something that prevented me from going ballistic and making our family relationships worse.

So...You sold that Tofutti stock but are you enjoing meatloaf flavored icecream again or you kept the habit of asparagus sorbet for a threat ?

(just kidding)

Sadly, my father has had to become dairy-free due to very ill health and sadness takes some of the fun out of that sort of thing for me. On the other hand, his ability to easily find dairy-free alternatives is nice and I give myself points of having supported the stock. I bought him some Tofutti sour cream on my last visit so that he could enjoy some borscht and sour cream (a delight that has been denied to him for a few years).

I choose to avoid the meatloaf flavored ice cream but will consider trying fake bacon sprinkles on my fake ice cream. :)

The_path_less_taken

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2014, 08:26:46 PM »
I'm leaning more towards not saying "Please tell me you're joking?" when people say stupid shit to me.

It's tough though.

My last boss laughed like a loon when I whipped out my flip open pay as you go phone, then again when he saw my 2001 Ford Escape.

I asked him what his monthly phone bill is: over $200 for him and his wife. Mine is about $10-15 a month.

He commutes 48 miles a day, in a one ton new Chevy truck. He refused to tell me what he pays in gas a month.

Asshat. What's that saying...the best revenge is living well?


AccidentalMiser

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #28 on: December 12, 2014, 08:03:29 PM »
You're putting aside an extra 100 in a blue-chip investment because your cousin made you mad. You'll benefit, and you haven't harmed your cousin. Sounds like you turned your negative feelings into a positive!

In 16 years, you can decide whether to rub Cousin's nose in it or not. Meanwhile, it's OK to enjoy the fantasy as much as you want.

All this.  BTW, I love your username, Nora!

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Are you vindictive?
« Reply #29 on: December 14, 2014, 04:17:09 PM »
Thanks, Accidental Miser. I like yours, too!