Find a CPA experienced with small business owners. They should know the rules involving your 401k questions, and the rules determining tax impacts of your different choices. A CPA costs money, but often saves you more than that by the value of their advice. There are are tax/legal consequences involved in your 401k choice that are important because they're not easy to reverse. (Note: I'm not currently a CPA, nor giving professional advice in this post, but was a CPA in the past.)
You can spend a lot of time learning all the rules yourself, partly by studying the responses in this forum, or a smaller amount of time while paying a competent pro to analyze your situation.
As to what you "should" do with your money, that is partly determined by your life situation and goals. Factors determining a wise decision include:
What is your family's:
spending rate?
non-business debt?
income?
savings?
risk tolerance?
how stable is your income?
For this, a CPA is less necessary, but your own input is more important. Yes, it's complicated. It takes more time to do this than you want it to. But once you learn this area a little more, it becomes easier the rest of your life. Just get in there!