Everything is fucked! Sell NOW!

[GuitarStv]

http://business.financialpost.com/investing/global-investor/sell-everything-banking-giant-tells-investors-and-brace-for-cataclysmic-year

RUN, RUN FOR THE HILLS BEFORE THE CANNIBALS GET YOU!







. . . and we wonder why there are so few buy and hold investors . . .

[Roboturner]

HA and they laughed when I bought $100,000 worth of pickled herring to put in my doomsday bunker!

[PathtoFIRE]

Yeah, but do I buy gold or frozen OJ futures?

I kind of wish that their predictions will come true, but I doubt it. I read CNBC for the entertainment, I like seeing articles directly contradicting each other, and I just wonder if anyone ever keeps track of these calls and predictions. It's a constant parade of so-called experts, and who can remember their records. I know at the end of 2015, there was one person predicting an S&P above 2200 by year's end, twice several weeks apart. Obviously that failed to materialize, but I can't remember his name, and when he pops up again to give another prediction, I'm sure no one else will remember the failed calls of the past.

[acroy]

Bought $500 of Bic lighters. You know, for barter. Gold coins are worthless when the lights go out. haha!

Seriously, I hope it does tank. Down by 80% would be a good start!! So I can put some Sweet Stach to work purchasing some underprices assets!

Burn baby burn!!

[Paul der Krake]

I called my 401(k) provider and they said I couldn't cash out my $456.44 without paying the 10% early withdrawal penalty.

Obama is already implementing unconstitutional money supply control policies, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

[Roboturner]

I called my 401(k) provider and they said I couldn't cash out my $456.44 without paying the 10% early withdrawal penalty.

Obama is already implementing unconstitutional money supply control policies, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

+1 THIS IS OBAMA'S AMERICA!

[zephyr911]

I called my 401(k) provider and they said I couldn't cash out my $456.44 without paying the 10% early withdrawal penalty.

Obama is already implementing unconstitutional money supply control policies, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

+1 THIS IS OBAMA'S AMERICA!

OMG ur rt its 2016 *sky falling*

[4alpacas]

I called my 401(k) provider and they said I couldn't cash out my $456.44 without paying the 10% early withdrawal penalty.

Obama is already implementing unconstitutional money supply control policies, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

+1 THIS IS OBAMA'S AMERICA!

I can't help myself. 

[gillstone]

As a note of additional amusement...

RBS was one of the last banks to get that the housing market was collapsing in 2008.  They were a still trying to increase their holdings on default swaps and CDOs even as other investors were running for the hills.

Alternative headline:  Bank That was Horrible at Gauging Risk Craps its Pants

[Retire-Canada]

Thanks you so much! I just sold everything.

I've used the $$ to buy 55,000 titanium sporks. I betting it will be the "it" product for the discerning cannibal.

[thepokercab]

I for one agree.  I just liquidated everything and my asset allocation is now 100% in Powerball tickets.  It is the only way for your dreams to come true after all. 

[AdrianC]

Bought $500 of Bic lighters. You know, for barter. Gold coins are worthless when the lights go out. haha!

Seriously, I hope it does tank. Down by 80% would be a good start!! So I can put some Sweet Stach to work purchasing some underprices assets!

Burn baby burn!!

While I understand the sentiment, an 80% drop would be a bit too much. Could our financial systems recover from a shock like that?

RBS has advised clients to brace for a “cataclysmic year” and a global deflationary crisis, warning that major stock markets could fall by a fifth and oil may plummet to $16 a barrel.

20%. Quite possible. Probable, even.

Permabear Hussman:

http://www.hussmanfunds.com/wmc/wmc160111.htm

Our expectations for a global economic downturn, including a U.S. recession, have hardened considerably in the past few weeks, with a continued expectation of a retreat in equity prices on the order of 40-55% over the completion of the current cycle as a base case.

[One Noisy Cat]

    The market has climbed 290% since 2009. So naturally a 10% drop has some people in hysterics, especially since recessions happen every seven years or so. But as my Economics Forecasting professor used to say (before Bernie Madoff ripped him off of $2 million): the stock market has correctly predicted nine out of the last five recessions

[Travis]

    The market has climbed 290% since 2009. So naturally a 10% drop has some people in hysterics, especially since recessions happen every seven years or so. But as my Economics Forecasting professor used to say (before Bernie Madoff ripped him off of $2 million): the stock market has correctly predicted nine out of the last five recessions

A 10-20% drop will scare the lesser-educated and those who are new to the market.  I had almost nothing at stake in 2008 so I didn't experience the decline or the rise that followed.  290% is what other people experienced after sweating for a couple years first.  If all I've read for the last couple years is "7% average market increase and stop worrying" I'm going to be a a little nervous.  I'm not saying those people are right, but that will be the feeling.

[Kaspian]

Thanks for the tip!  Index funds have been liquidated and everything now in pork bellies!

[Gone Fishing]

Thanks for the tip!  Index funds have been liquidated and everything now in pork bellies!

You should have saved some for salt and sugar. Mmmm, bacon!

[The Happy Philosopher]

Thanks you so much! I just sold everything.

I've used the $$ to buy 55,000 titanium sporks. I betting it will be the "it" product for the discerning cannibal.

I just googled titanium spork and there is a surprising variety to choose from...

[Retire-Canada]

I just googled titanium spork and there is a surprising variety to choose from...

Indeed. This is an asset class for the experienced investor only. Buy the wrong spork and well....hahaha...you might as well have just bought some spoons.

[fattest_foot]

20% doesn't even sound that bad. 40% and I might pay attention.

But either way, I welcome it, as this will be the first year I max 401k's and IRA's. Plus hopefully a little extra in a taxable account.

[Capsu78]

As a note of additional amusement...

RBS was one of the last banks to get that the housing market was collapsing in 2008.  They were a still trying to increase their holdings on default swaps and CDOs even as other investors were running for the hills.

Alternative headline:  Bank That was Horrible at Gauging Risk Craps its Pants

...and while they still had a major sponsorship in a Formula 1 team.  Nothing screams "fiscal conservativism" like a F1 team!

[The Happy Philosopher]

I just googled titanium spork and there is a surprising variety to choose from...

Indeed. This is an asset class for the experienced investor only. Buy the wrong spork and well....hahaha...you might as well have just bought some spoons.

I sense a business opportunity here ;)
www.certifiedtitaniumsporkinvestment.com

[DavidAnnArbor]

   But as my Economics Forecasting professor used to say (before Bernie Madoff ripped him off of $2 million): the stock market has correctly predicted nine out of the last five recessions

What does the professor say now?  What a terrible thing to happen to the professor!!!

[Abe]

Fibonacci numbers!?!?! Run!!!

[One Noisy Cat]

   But as my Economics Forecasting professor used to say (before Bernie Madoff ripped him off of $2 million): the stock market has correctly predicted nine out of the last five recessions

What does the professor say now?  What a terrible thing to happen to the professor!!!

He is Irwin Kellner, who occasionally writes for marketwatch.com When I took his class 30 years ago he was chief forecaster for Manny Hanny (Manufacturers Hanover bank). Reasonably likeable, moderate guy, always wore three piece suits.  I don't know how much of a hit to his finances $2 million was, but I was sorry to hear about him getting ripped off